IRAN106 - Kh* Maaly , chaaplusy , Bu

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IRAN106 - Kh* Maaly , chaaplusy , Bu

Postby Admzad » Thu Dec 23, 2004 7:49 pm

IRAN106 - Khaa*eh Maali , chaaplusi , Bu

1- Another feature of Iranian culture IMO is Axx-kissing or Kh* Maali(KM) or
chaaplusi. Of course this is Global & very common in the west too. In fact many
say you can't get far into management without it. But in Iran it has a different
flavor which is somehow different. Eg. The ones that I've seen in the west
don't usually turn back & sneer & call the guy names: jerk or bisharaf.

When I did my Sarbaazi/Military-service 30 years ago, there was this
little guy who was a real Baazaari. He constantly talked about money, his money
making deals & Mahhassti & Haayedeh. He always sang many of their songs, but
did his prayers & Fasted in Moharram. He didn't just sing, he did Eshveh/Qamzeh
with the eyes & the eyebrows & biting his lips: the works/LOT & going all the way!

He was put in a good position with paartibaazi, which he always bragged about.
So not only you cheat & Paartibaazi, but you show it off to others to make yourself
'superior' (Patriarchy complex?! Another Feature?).

He was extremely good in the art of KM, always jumping for the jennaab-sarhang
or the sargruhbaan. But in private he would sneer at them & joke about them.
Come to think of it he was always Sneering at everybody & bragging. Always trying
to find Haamiaan: "you stick with me & I look after you", "I got connections"
(Godfather complex?! Another Feature?)

In the first 3 months of the service, when they tried to Break you, people
(Javaanaaneh Iruni) did 'everything' to get favours from the Sargruhbaan
(who also were doing their forced service) & to become Mobser (deputy)!
The Mobsers would walk around as if they owned the place & looked down at
others. And of course others would do KM for the Mobser & the Sargruhbaan &
the jenaab Sarvaan!

I've given some examples of KM in Sarbaazi, but I hope nobody blames Shah for this.
I'm sure it must be everywhere, otherwise there wouldn't be a word for it.
My points were not about Artesh/Army, but Iranian culture.

I remember many times people doing panbeh zir baqal & calling the paasebun
'jenaab sarvaan' & sneer & call them names after they left.

The other place I've sensed this KM or Chaaplusi is when people write
against somebody else's article to prove them wrong & themselves riqt or

So they read an article & decide it is rubbish, so write an article to
beat the enemy. They start with God's name & then Kh*-maali that I'm
just a rustaa'iyeh bisavaad & u r my ostaad & then gradually get to
the point that I think what u said is full of sh-t. This is done very
politely but it's like a game of chaaplusi, but it ends up stabbing the
the 'enemy' in the back with a traditional-knife & teaching him a lesson
& feeling triumphant. And of course to push the knife to the heart, they
use a few old & sho'aari poems from powerful poets that nobody could
say anything bad about, as if saying "there, take this! Check mate!".

I see some kind of bitchiness in it, some form of admirable "peder sukhtegi"
which was associated with many Esfahaani jokes: Be ware, don't mess with me,
I'm too kalak/zebel!

Too much emphasis on cosmetics & status & 'face'/aaberu/Qeyrat & laqab:
jenaabeh hazrateh aagaayeh doktor blah blah blah, which I think was far worst
in the old days.

Why all this beating around the bush?
Is it like showing off one's weapons?
Why not go riqt to the point?
Why all this pretence for being small/kuchak & then proving yourself
Superior at he end?
Domination is the name of the game, but at the same time they pretend
to be kuchak & humble?!

2- An Iranian friend returned from a visit to Iran & told me it was strange:
everywhere he went they knew he was from 'khaarej' & would ask him
"aaqaa shomaa khaarej zendegi mikonid?". So he asked them how they Could tell
& was told:
- Avvalan shomaa badanetun bu nemideh
- saaniyan shomaa mo'addab hastid (they meant that he wouldn't shout or jump the

Years ago I went to an Azerbayjani music concert & ended up sitting next
To an Haji from turkey who had a very bad body odor. I discretely held
a tissue in front of my nose for more than 1.5 hours. He talked to me
& made things worst coz I could smell garlic too. I thouqt about the past
going to dahaats & thinking this must be like catching a crowded bus in
many small towns in Iran.

Actually I've experienced BO in the west too. Some French People don't
take showers in summer that often. Years a ago, one of the cleaners in
the office had such a bad BO, that some people left the toilet when he
came in. I used to feel sorry for his kids. An Indian friend, living in
west for 10 years, once told me how unhappy he was about BO being a
feature of India too.

I can understand it in Iran, where many don't have bath/shower at home,
but the French?! A British friend once told me "that's y they invented
strong perfumes"! So I don't think Iran has a monopoly on this.

Speaking of perfumes, my grand mother used to be crazy about strong,
I mean Xs-trong folks(!), cheap perfumes that u could buy in small towns
in small bottles & put some on her jaa namaaz (? Not sure about the name,
the cloth that u wrapped tasbih & mohr in). She also kept rose petals
in it, which she called goleh mohammadi, which she also made golaab from.

U could smell the guy who sold the stuff from 10 meters away! Most of his
customers were little old ladies & some old haajaaqaa.

Every time I bouqht her some, coz she had asked me to, she would smell it & say
pah pah & put some on & whisper salavaat quietly.

Gush, Iranian culture, like many other cultures, has a few stains in it, but
it's a GOLD mine too.

Anybody remember the old Dehkhodaa (I think?), who
had a show on the radio talking about traditions
& customes? What happened to all his works/research?
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