(Iranian Version of Alice in Wonderland!)
May 13, 2005
Friends, Persians, Activists and Comrades:
Greetings to All.
Statements
Allow me to pull Liberator's shorts a bit!
I do recall that I have read a post by Liberator, originally quoted from someone else, most likely one of his Monarchist Buddies in some Monarchist Forum, possibly Activist Chat or so...........
The quote said something like this:
"Reza Shah-e Dovom is the only hope to save Iran!"
Hmmmmmmmmmmmm, this statement made me think!
Lets elaborate on this statement, shall we? Reza Pahlavi is a fellow opposition member, a good hearted man & a good family man. A fine pacifist & a divine Muslim. A well mannered, soft spoken, extremely conservative fellow.
But Reza Pahlavi is a Galaxy away from being the savior of Iran! You know what? These types of statements by the LaLa Landish, Out of Touch Monarchists in Exile, are getting old, way old, 26 years old! They are getting too old & too boring in a way that they put the listener to deep sleep!
Babam jan, Reza Pahlavi cannot even save his own butt! How the hell can he save Iran? He is a Mellow Yellow Fellow, riding on the Yellow Submarine singing Cumbaya, hand in hand with Out of Order, Old Fart Imperial Generals of the Imperial Forces who surrendered Iran to Hizbollah on 1979! You know, the ones who combinely signed that famous surrender paper, handed it to Imam Khomeini & later on they all blamed Qarabaqi & Fardust for Treason! Ye, those!
They have become basically a cartoonish joke of the neighborhood! Reza Pahlavi cannot even give a straight factor to organize his own finances, bonds & stocks! Once a while he goes upside down & bankrupt, then Momsy dear (Empress Farah), Khale Ashraf (Princess Ashraf), Iranian billionares of LA, Arab sheiks and King of Saudi gots to bail him out of quicksand!
It is amazing, with Billions of dollars taken out of Iran by Pahlavis & stored safely & stashed in accounts @ west, Mr. Pahlavi still manages to often blow his share of the dough! You know, it is very hard for someone to blow & burn such great amount of money, given to him without a day of working for it! I mean how can you blow so much money in such short time? One must be really a Financial Idiot, an economically challanged type o guy, an absolute mathematical illiterate to manage such great financial blunders!
Reza Pahlavi have had blown away so much money in bad investments, sad stock market blunders, give aways to Kiss Asses around him, generosity to great charlatans of Iranian community, supporting lifestyles of famous two bit Persian Whores residing in America (before he got married to Yasmin) and of course donation to great Casinos, amusement centers & night clubs of the globe!
Reza Pahlavi had blown away so much money that if we could stash the total amount in a single bank account, we would have been able to create a private militia resistance army, armed it with the latest state of the art weapons & get it ready to over throw the Akhunds in Iran! So practically, Reza Pahlavi has traded the freedom of Iran to freedom of his Shambool Tala!
The man is one of the most indecisioned, undetermined, weak, scardy cat, conservative, pacifist, superstitious, mellow jello fellow that I have ever seen in my life! He makes a great Fun Buddy to hang around with, but he is the last person who you want to choose to run a small business, a company, a corporation, a political party, an organization, the opposition or a nation!
For God's sake, until yesterday he was connecting himself to Imam Hassan & Imam Hussein, claiming to be Seyed-e Olad-e Peyqambar. Momsey Claimed that they are both Seyed of Hassani & Husseini (on that famous web page)! They figured, maybe if they go Holy, they can divinely ride the average Gav O Guspandan of Iran & possibly create an Imperial Islamic Iran (III) instead of IRI. Once the Shiite had hit the fan & I made a commotion about that laughable web page, Empress Farah got her webmaster to take it off the net! Afterwards, no one heard a word about Seyed Reza Pahlavi, yet suddenly he became Prince Cyrus Reza Pahlavi! The Ass Kissers & Hand Kissers around him, added a Cyrus @ the begining of his name & connected him to Achaemenids! This is how secular Mr. RP is! Any which direction the wind blows, right?!
The odds of Reza Pahlavi returning to Iran & becoming the Shah is as slim as my dad's schlong functioning without viagra, & if you would have known the present condition of my dad's schlong, then you would have understood! I mean long ago he was a famous playboy Journalist who used to bang all the Imperial Statesmen's & General's wives & Daughters but today his Tabi'at Bahoot Afsordahe! Yesterday's Shambool Tala have become today's Shriveled up prune!
Imperial Excuses and Monarchist Apologists
Once I was chatting with a fellow Opposition Leader, head of a major Monarchist Organization & he replied to all my remarks about Reza Pahlavi, in this manner. This is how the conversation went:
X: Reza Pahlavi is nothing like his Grand Father or even his father!
B: If he is given the Chance, he would perform in a worthy manner........
That's the whole point my friends! If he is given a chance! You see in our history, Shahanshah has never been given a chance! He creates the Chance himself!
Shahanshah does not wait for the people to grant him his crown & throne!
Shahanshah claims & takes & posesses his crown & throne!
Reza Pahlavi must be a new breed of wanna be Shahs! He claims nothing but he awaits for the people to call him & grant him his crown & throne! So far he been waiting for 26 years & on going!
How many more years shall we give to RP to get off of his Ass & to make a move?
Hows about another 26 years!?
I bet with you in 26 years, RP will be an old fart sitting in his Maryland Mansion on his rocking chair & walking with his walker & telling Yasmin that:
RP: Azhizham ..ohoo ohoo ...........soon we will be back in Tehran! Get my diaper & denture ready, pack the Garitol & my cains, soon I will become shah! Ohoo ohoo..... argh........cough.....choke....
Yasmin: OK honey, don't over exhaust yourself, remember what Doctor told you dear, you are not allowed to do too much political activity, you might erupt your hernia!!!!!!
Reza Pahlavi gives a new meaning & definition to The Word Shahanshah!
Shah Sultan Hussein Safavid & Ahmad Shah-e Qajar, also came very close to capture the same definition!
If RP goes to safari, he cannot hit an elephant with a sack of rice from a yard distance! Give it up people, enough Monarchist LaLa Landish rhetorics! First go find a Real Shah, then sing Monarchist Songs of Javid Shah! Whose your Shah? Get a clue people, will ya?
Up_Position of LA & DC
Then you got these bozos sitting in LA & DC, singing Ey Iran, Ey Iran songs over a belly full of Chelo Kabob! A group of Taryaki & Araq Khor sitting in Persian Cabarets, saluting to each other's healths with Stolishnaya Russian Vodka & Beer Chasers, padding each other on the back or the butt & claim victory for the Iranian Opposition!
I have read an article which Liberator posted a while ago & a couple of sentences caught my attention!
"Razmara is the only remaining cabinet minister from the Imperial Regime, he has the seniority & backing of the opposition leaders & groups in the west, he makes a good leader ..........."
Then there was this good one:
"Zia Atabay mentioned that Iranian Opposition has been scattered but now they are getting united. Atabay said: I call The conference in LA & the future one in DC a Good Start ............."
I can make a lot of remarks about these two statements, but I reluctantly will only make two, lets say one for each statement!
Whoever (some American Reporter) wrote these cheesy articles, is obviously not familiar with Iranian Politics.
First of, Razmara is not the only remaining Cabinet Minister from the old regime! There are plenty of them ministers crawling around the globe! For God's sake, my own Father is an EX Imperial Regime Cabinet Minister & he is alive & well & happily out of politics! Who the hell is Razmara & what the hell has he done to grant him the leadership of opposition? And who are these opposition leaders who are granting Razmara the absolute Leadership & Spokesperson for the Iranian Opposition?
As I have said, a group of Opium Addicts & Alcholics, sitting in Cabaret Tehran in LA & making policy for Iranian Opposition! Lord please help us & deliver us from these Drunken Addicts, deliver us from Evil residing in LA & DC claiming to be Iranian Opposition!
Does major Iranian Political Parties & Organizations know about these Erections of Razmara by the LA Media & Up_Position?!
Are Major Nationalist, Monarchist, Socialist, Republican, Fascist, Nazi, Communist and Muslim political parties & organizations of Iran agree with this erection? How about Mojahedin or Cherikhaye Fedayi Khalq Groups? How about Kurdish Orgs.? How about political personalities of Iran?
Khali-Bandi.com
I simply have to make a new website for Eye_Rainian Up_Position of LA & DC & call this great website "Khali-Bandi.com"! I'm telling ya, every other month, the Media Homeless of Iran from their garages or basements in LA, send their Satellite TV signals and drag a couple of millions of Iranians into the streets of Iran & almost bring IRI to her knees! But not quitly! 26 years of this Bull Shiite! These great Basement Warriors talk for 12 hours in their TV Talk Shows & then repeat the same damn thing for another 12 hours & call it The 24 Hours TV! Ahura Yazdi, Zia Atabay, Qolam Ali Dozdeh, Akbar Kaf Gorgi, The Car Dealer on Glendale Corner, & The Rug Dealer on Willshire are amongst the ranks of these Up_Position Leaders!
Why do I call them Up_Position Leaders & Feeders?
Because once a while, they re-position their balls & Moamele in their pants from right to left or vise versa, & then sometimes they move their Moamele in an Up_Position & feed some more Bull Shiite to the gollible Iranian Viewers! Nobody watches these programs except Old Folks or Young Naive & Sincere Activists who were born in Exile or moved to Exile in very young age! Even many of them do not believe all this crap, but due to hopelessness of the situation, they lie to themselves & make belief!
Who the Frag are these cheese-balls of LA, Media Homeless, Fat Bellied, Bald Headed, Lazy Ass, Khali Band, Gonde Guz, Chose Fil, wanna be politicians & Up_Position leaders of LA to grant Razmara the spokspersonship & leadership of opposition? And what the hell has Razmara done during the last 26 years to be worthy of this position?!
Then you got Zia Atabay barfing a double yoked egg (Tokhme Do Zardeh Kardand!): Oh yee oh yee, hear yee, hear yee, Eye_Rainian Up_Position of LA has decided to unite, this is a good start! Mr. Helel Yous, Hel Yousa............Shaky Ass turned Opposition Leader had barfed!
Excuse moi, but first of all, the so called Iranian Opposition of LA were basically a Few Media Homeless, Garage Based Satellite TV Owners, Cable Radio Owners, Ragazine & Rag Paper Publishers, Tabloid Website Publishers & other Drunks & Addicts of LA & vacinity! Some from Sweden too! Who the frag erected these bozos as Iranian Opposition Leaders?
Who the hell erected these tofeylis as Iranian Opposition Leaders, so they could in return erect Razmara as the spoksperson & Head of Iranian Opposition?! These folks crack me up!
Its a good thing that Farokhzads, Bakhtiars, Aryamaneshs, & Shafighs of the world are dead & not able to witness these charlatans as self claimed Opposition Leaders!
Folks, we live in a chaotic & upside down times!
When Reza Pahlavi (who used to play with his pet rat in Tehran) becomes Reza Shah-e Dovom,
Then Razmara (who used to play with shambool in Tehran) will become Head of The Opposition,
And of course Zia Atabay (who used to give Ass away in Tehran) becomes an Opposition Leader!
Zip a Dee Doo Da De......... Yippi Ya Yippi Ya Ye!
With Opposition like this, is there any wonder, why we have been in exile for 26 years?!
Hey wait a second, what happened to Dariush Homayoun & Dr. Oskuee, Dr. Chap-dool & Dr. Qanbar or Mohandes Shab-dool? Weren't they erecting in LA?
Give me a break people! Will ya? This Shiite is getting old! Iranian Up_Position in Exile with their Cartoonish Shahs, Presidents, Leaders, Media Lords, Spokspersons & Manqal O Vafur!
No one in Iran have heard of these bozos & no one in the west listens to these bozos!
Every month I am on Video Net Meeting & Net Conferencing with Intellectual Student Body, Technocrats & Proffesional Engineers & Doctors in private sector & Employees in Government Offices in Tehran, Esfahan, Mashhad, Shiraz all the way to Ahwaz & Zahedan! No one knows these bozos, no one cares about these bozos or what they have to say!
Iranian so called Up_Position in Exile is out of touch with today's realities of Iran. They live in LaLa Land, a land created according to their own imagination! In LaLa Land, They erect Shahs, Presidents, Prime Ministers, Cabinet Ministers & Spoks-persons for the opposition!
Ahura Yazdi, Geda Ali, Kur Oqli, Kachal Hamzeh, Soosool ol Doleh, Shambool ol Saltaneh and Bache Kuni, all together get loaded with Vodka & smoke some Fur, then gather in Cabaret Tehran & become Iranian Opposition Leaders & erect Spoks-persons! Then they rush to DC & line up in front of Condy's House to beg for some money from State Department & CIA! Their little Persian Hearts beats so hard for American Dollars! I wonder how come, they have not claimed independence for a new nation? Nation of TehranGeles located @ Westwood!?
Fereydoun Hoveyda & Hope!
Once, I had a dialogue with our beloved Fereydoun Hoveyda, one of the last living Great Statesmen of Iran or as I call him The Last of The Mohikans! It went something like this:
X: Lap Dogs & Low Lives in dreams of becoming Legends, thats all they are, Low Lives! But Low Lives can never become Legends! Bakhtiars & Hoveydas are all dead & gone & cannot be replaced. Legends are all dead & gone! Now all we have left are Low Lives!
H: My friend, don't be so pessimistic, have some hope.
Fereydoun Khan, show me a slight gleam of light in this Dozd Bazaar & Bang O Salavat Community, & I shall become a believer in Hope?!
One of the main reasons that soon I will be publishing The First Meaningful, Brain Stimulating and Educational, also Fun & Games, Fully Commercial Iranian Website, as a Huge Database of knowledge about Iran, is not only because Hizbollah closed down our website, but the main reason is to create this "Hope" for the Iranian Intellectuals & Knowledge Seeking Students to read & write for a Web Media, an "Alternative Tribune" as oppose to the usual 1001 Iranian Tabloid & Gossip Column Bull Sites on the net & Media Homeless of LA & DC! In a way, I am taking Fereydoun Hoveyda's advise, yet I am going to create this Hope for the masses! Every writer, columnist, cartoonist, graphic artist, animator, & author who is worthy of being published, will be published in this site.
You see, if these bozos & Media Homeless of LA & DC are the Iranian Opposition, then by Golly Jee Wiz, who the hell are we & others who ripped our asses apart for 26 years to free this God Damn Nation? I guess we don't count!
We got 2 Iranian Opposition!
You see,
We, who been fighting this regime for 26 years are The Iranian Opposition,
They, who been banging each other's asses for 26 years are The Eye_Rainian Up_Position!
I tell you what............. If these Tofeylis are Today's Eye-Rainian Up_Position, then For Allah's sake, I beg you to count me out of this great Opposition. All I have is my good name & the masses trust my name, please do not trash my name & allow me to resign from this wonderful Opposition.
I wonder what & when will be the next extravaganza & show by these Brave Up_Position Feeders of LA & DC?!
LaLa Land!
Well, we basically have a LaLa Land, where the so called Iranian Opposition of LA & DC resides & lives in the frigment of their own imagination. This Land is somewhere in between Heaven & Hell near Westwood! Please do not mistake LaLa Land with LoLo Land, were Lori Forouzandeh and next of her Kin & followers in IPC, reside in!!!!!!!
A Prayer!
Dear Father @ Under, Ya Ahreeman, deliver us from LA & DC Bozos, because the level of Bull Shiite, Shiite Water (Anabeh) is simply exceeding my hight & its way above my head! Dear Lord of Darkness, our father in Hell, I cannot breath anymore, please deliver us from the Media Homeless of LA!
Amen
In Hope of Better Days .....
Sign,
Ex Patriot, Present Symbiote
Dr. X