Ulduz Parsa, Persian Azeri Art and Fashion Model
Interview + Gallows and Noose Modeling Portfolio
Interview: Ahreeman X
Photography: Catayoun Razmjou
Portfolio: Ulduz Parsa
1st Edition: September 22, 2013
2nd Edition: May 25, 2016
After the Iranian 2009 revolts simmered down and the Reformist Hezbollah Hee-Rows of the Green Movement, Mousavi, Khatami, Rafsanjani, and other so-called Islamist In-tell-egg-chew-alls backed down (only after directing hundreds of Iranians to death and thousands to the prisons), we felt like the Revolts had been betrayed and never bloomed to a full Revolution. After all, Reformist, Moderate and Fundamentalist are all Hezbollah and the only good Hezbollah is a dead Hezbollah! Green Movement was and is just another sweet time occupier, fairy tale and a block on the way of a True Nationalist Revolution in Iran. The Greens are here to extend the life of IRI by painting the Reform makeup on her ugly face. Greens are not here to by any means do a Regime Change, end the reign of IRI and establish the rule of law and democracy in Iran.
Of course we were perfectly aware of this fact and as revolutionaries, we were just using the Greens as a tool and Mousavi as a possible Iranian Gorbachev who could pave the way for the upcoming Iranian Yeltsin to end the IRI reign in Iran.
Unfortunately it seems like this Gorbachev did neither have the balls nor the guts to pave the revolutionary way! After all, what do you expect from the Ex Prime Minister of Khamenei? Do you possibly expect him to rise up against his master Khamenei?! Dream on!
So the three of us were sitting around and deciding what would be our next photo shoot project?! We were brain storming, Cat, Ulduz and I. Suddenly I came up with a bright idea! How could we use the political theme of the day in our photo shoot? How could we intermix and interface the current political situation of Iran into our modeling photo shoot? It is very simple, just mix them up. Lets create a political statement through the photo shoot of a modeling portfolio! Now that would be cool. As always, I directed the photo shoot, Cat had turned my directions into reality by her special photographic touch and Ulduz portrayed the perfect art modeling subject for our story. On top of it all, we topped them all up with an interview. An interview and a modeling portfolio was the way to portray how we felt. Here are the results. Bon appetite:
Ulduz Parsa Interview + Gallows and Noose Modeling Portfolio
X: Ulduz jan, let us start with your name. I love this name. Give us some info?
U: Before I tell you about Ulduz, let me tell everyone that how privileged I feel to be a part of your latest art modeling project.
X: You are welcomed and you have been a great inspiration.
U: Ulduz is an Azeri name and it means “Star”.
X: Well you have made it and you are surely a star! So its originality is not Turkish?
U: Not at all. As you know, Azerbaijan has been under the Turkish influence, occupation and cultural impact for generations. People mistakenly call us Turks and Turks have been trying to separate us from our motherland Iran, but it doesn’t matter if you live in external or internal Azerbaijan, still you feel to be Iranian. We may speak a Turkish dialect but we are Iranian.
X: Actually the Azeri Turkish has many Persian words in it.
U: That is true. Turks may have occupied us for centuries but you can still trace Persian language in our language.
X: So Ulduz is originally a local Azeri name?
U: Yes pure Azeri.
X: So you do consider yourself Iranian rather than Turk?
X: This is interesting because recently I was talking to a famous Azeri scientist from Baku and he said the same thing! He told me that like many Azeris, he is afraid to openly claim that he is Iranian because it is not politically correct and kosher to call yourself Iranian in external Azerbaijan.
U: Can you blame him? He would probably get in trouble and lose his job!
X: That’s what he told me!
U: Hey look, even in internal Azerbaijan, we have problems. IRI (Islamic Republic of Iran) has divided Azerbaijan to 5 provinces.
X: Yes, Eastern Azerbaijan, Western Azerbaijan, Ardabil, Qazvin and Zanjan. Do you know why IRI has been creating provinces and states out of her rectum?
U: I am sure you will tell me?
X: They are afraid of the minorities to revolt and separate. The answer to the Iranian minority problem is not divisions and creating 30 provinces, but the answer is to grant people Federalism.
U: I’m 100 percent agree with you.
X: Persian centralism is the root of all Iranian domestic ethnic unrests.
U: Centralism is racist, arrogant and what keeps our people divided. They insult all minorities and crack jokes about them but Tehran is perfect!
X: So we agree on one thing!
U: We agree on many things!
X: Where are you from?
U: Tabriz, soul of Azeri nation.
X: When did you come here?
U: I came to US when I was very young.
X: Where were you before?
U: Iran, Azerbaijan, Russia and Canada.
X: All the travels in such short time?
U: My father’s job required travel but I don’t want to go to details.
X: You don’t have to. You can reveal as much as you are comfortable, about yourself.
X: Do you follow Iranian politics?
U: Very much.
X: What do you think of the Green Movement?
U: Let me use one of your creative terms. You refer to IRI elections as “Sham Elections” because no party or individual except Islamists can participate in them. When Fundamentalists cheated the last election, you said: “IRI Shammed the Sham Election”! So IRI couldn’t even stand and tolerate for people to occupy themselves with a sham election, so they had to sham the sham election.
X: Yes I remember stating that remark but how do you connect this to the Greens?
U: Green Movement, Reform Movement, Moderate Movement, Mousavi, Khatami, Rafsanjani, Ebadi ….. it is all a Sham. They are conning people.
X: They don’t con people, they get people killed and imprisoned and then they back down!
U: Mousavi is another Khatami but with a lovelier smile, outspoken wife and more determined posture but underneath the veil it’s all a sham.
X: Well no one said Greens are here to do a regime change but they wanted to reform it …
U: But of course … but they failed to do even that …
X: They failed because they went at it the wrong way. You can’t reform IRI or in that manner Islam.
X: The only way to reform IRI or Islam is to destroy and end its reign.
U: Bravo ….
X: What are your politics?
U: I support the effort of Iranian people fighting against the Islamic Regime but I don’t support a bunch of Reformist Islamists trying to divert this revolt into a reform. Green Movement is a sham and Green Leaders including Mousavi are Reformists with new masks named Green!
X: One thing puzzles me?
X: For a model, you are very outspoken, opinionated and bright!
U: Is that a compliment or an insult?
U: Do you think all models are bubble-headed dumb airheads?
X: No I didn’t say that. There are some semi bright models, there are even some politically active models …
U: But in general you think they are pieces of meat, right?
X: I didn’t say that but …
U: But you are thinking it …
X: Look, models are different types. All people in a type of profession are different. There are dumb football players and then there are smart ones. No one expects a football player to do political analysis. People expect football players to talk about football. They know about their field and often they don’t know much about anything else. It is expected …
U: Well I am a proof which puts a crack in your theory. It is expected for models to be airheads and pieces of meat but you can’t generalize. Some models may surprise you.
X: There are always exceptions to the rule. This is a fact of life. Not all Blacks are basketball players, rappers or porn stars! I am not branding a race, a profession or people.
U: But you are thinking it …
X: What? Do you read minds?
U: As a matter of fact I do …
X: What am I thinking about right now?
U: About how charming, beautiful and smart I am …
X: You arrogant little wench …
U: Hey, I take after you, because I been reading IPC for so long ….
X: What do you think of this project?
U: Deep, very deep. You portray a Persian woman all tangled up in ropes, noose and trap, trying to break free. Ropes and ties could mean the Theocratic Regime, Mullahs, nature of IRI or Islam and the Persian woman, well that’s me!
X: This project has dual meanings.
U: One interpretation could portray Persian women prosecuted by the Islamic regime for the revolt of 2009 and the other interpretation could portray Persian women attempting to break free from the Islamic traps that tie them down.
X: Wow, I like that. Good analysis. How do you like the artistic aspect?
U: I like it. Very meaningful and artistic …
X: How comfortable were you shooting this portfolio?
U: Very comfortable. Cat is awesome and it is great to work with you.
X: What do you think I want to make people feel by this shoot?
U: You could mean to show the recent conflict between the Iranian Youth and people in general with the regime or you could mean to show the general conflict between the Iranian women and the Islamic culture. Am I right?
X: Jackpot! Actually you hit both spots. The three of us been brainstorming until we came up with this but at the back of my mind, it wasn’t all about the 2009 Revolts but the deep conflict between Women’s Lib and Islam.
U: I know that.
X: How can you be a Free Woman and a Muslim at the same time?
U: You can’t even be an Iranian and a Muslim at the same time!
X: Tell me?
U: It is contradictory.
X: Then how about all these Muslim Apologist Women?
U: Some are ignorant to Quran and words of Mohammed but many are con artists.
X: Such as?
U: Shirin Ebadi
X: What do you mean?
U: I call them “Muslim Political Whores”.
U: They are being politically correct to cover-up all the nonsense and violence in Islam to further advance their political agenda. Whores like Shirin Ebadi are not dumb to not know about true Islam. They just cover-up the “Shiite” as you say ….
X: You like my terms, ha?
U: I love your terms. I love this:
IPC Dictionary of Alternative Terms
You are so funny and a smartass.
X: That’s good that you approve. Ebadi is the icing on the cake. You should see some of these female IRI Lobbyists, college professors, scholars, activists, pacifists, liberals and other dayus in America!
U: Yes, the so-called “In-tell-egg-chew-alls”!
X: You see, not all of these women are IRI Agents but some of them actually believe in what they preach. They are Anti American Imperialist Leftists.
U: Yes those Marxist bitches …
X: Well I wouldn’t go that far …
U: I would ….
X: I wonder what is your field?
U: I am a student of Art. Of course you know that I’m a model. I love art and I use it to express myself.
X: What types of modeling have you been doing?
U: Art, print and fashion
X: What do you mean by art?
U: I pose nude for painters, sculptors, photographers and renaissance men like you.
X: It is funny that you call me that. Some of my friends branded me that.
U: Well you are. You are master of many trades but I’m happy that you have taken on the task of women’s Lib from Islam and traditional “Bull Shiite”.
X: But many women are against it. They call me the exploiter of women and they call Persian models as shameless whores! Some go as far as calling all Persian women living abroad as whores!
U: They are not women; they are “Muslim Whores”. In their opinion, posing nude and showing beauty is a crime but Islamic Polygamy and Siqeh is Halaal! Hypocrites, that’s all that they are.
X: That’s what I tell them. Banging a 6 year old or according to Hadith, a 9 year old child (Aisha) by Mohammed is Halaal but art modeling is Haraam!
U: Iranian Culture has been infected with Islam, so their moral values are all upside down. I bet with you that your critics do steal, cheat and power play to get ahead in corporate life but they brand you as immoral.
X: What’s so immoral about nude art modeling?
U: Ask these dumb Muslim bitches and chauvinist Muslim men?
X: Ooh feisty, aren’t we?
U: Hell yeh …
X: Are you in peace with yourself?
U: Are you?
X: I am in the Clear (as we say in the Martial Art Philosophy).
U: I am clearer than clear …
X: You are so clear that I can see through you.
U: Through me or my clothes?
X: Funny … you know I just remembered something about your name. There is a children’s book named “Ulduz and the Crows” by “Samad Behrangi” the talented revolutionary author. Have you read it?
U: That’s behind my time but I have heard of it.
X: Are you implying that I’m old?
U: Not at all ….. Old Man!
X: I maybe old but smoke always enflames out of the thick old logs!
U: Dud az kondeh boland misheh!
U: You love Persian idioms, don’t you?
X: Yes indeed. What do you love about yourself?
U: My boldness and freshness.
X: What do you hate about yourself?
U: The fact that I’m not taller. You have to be over 6 feet to be a top model. This is the dilemma for Persian girls because they are often too short and that’s how they can’t become top models.
X: Whatever shortcoming in height, you make up for it in wisdom.
U: Thanks love. No wonder you are so popular with women. You just know how to say all the right words!
X: What do you not do in modeling?
U: Cheap shoots, trashy shoots, sleeping with the artists and art directors less handsome than you …
X: Well Jee thanks!
U: I don’t like fakes and wanna bees …
X: What about sex?
U: Private ownership of the body is a crime. It is 21st century and we must share our bodies the same way that we share our thoughts.
X: What about morality?
U: Wasn’t it you who said: “Morality is in their actions and not in women’s privates”?
X: But wouldn’t this cause a moral dilemma?
U: There is nothing immoral about sex.
X: What about Religion?
U: Religion is garbage.
X: What about religious people?
U: Religious people are hypocrites. They need to do as they preach.
X: I don’t think this would help your career amongst the Iranian Moral Majority and the Superficial Persian Community in Exile.
U: Screw them
X: But aren’t you preaching Pan Iranism?
U: I preach Iranian Values and Pan Iranism. I don’t follow their shallow and hypocritical community values, here or in Iran.
X: I say they are Islamic values forced upon us and mixed with our culture.
U: I say Amen to that!
X: What is Nude Modeling?
U: To me, it’s my way of expressing myself through my body.
X: Is it art?
U: It could be an art form if used as an artistic tool and a way of expression.
X: What other art forms do you do?
U: I sketch and I dance.
X: What is love?
U: Sharing a very intimate, sensitive and enjoyable feeling with someone or something.
X: What is sex?
U: Must be pure passion or it’s a waste.
X: What makes you Persian?
U: Loving that entity which we call Iran.
X: Do you have to be born in Iran to be called Iranian?
U: Weren’t you the one who said: “To be Persian is not necessarily to be born in Iran but it is a state of mind, you must feel it in your soul and in your bone-marrow”?!
X: Can everyone call themselves Persian?
U: There should be qualification tests! If you are ignorant to your Persian roots and culture, you shouldn’t be allowed to call yourself Persian. You know, to be Persian is a quality.
X: Then what should they call themselves?
U: I don’t care, they can call themselves Arabo-Muslim, Hezbollah or Kadu Tanbal (Pumpkin) but not Persian!
X: I can see the headlines of the mainstream Iranian media tomorrow: “Ulduz is a Racist and a narrow-minded slut”.
U: Do you really think that I give a F…?
X: But you are not being politically correct?
U: F… political correctness …
X: What is a legacy?
U: What you are doing for Iran and Iranians.
X: I meant your legacy?
U: Love and help my fellow Persians.
X: Who do you want to see in Presidential Palace in Tehran of the future?
U: A Human Being!
X: Who do you want to see in the White House of tomorrow?
U: Not this A.. Hole (Obama) for another term!
X: Did you just call President of United States an A Hole?
U: He is not my president. He is Media’s president. They sold him to America.
X: Shouldn’t you have some respect for the office?
U: Respect is earnable not inheritable. We don’t live in a monarchy, Hello?!
X: What about Iranian Expat Community’s Status Quo?
U: It must change. Their mentality is no different than the community inside Iran. Their values must change. Double standards for men and women must change. Male chauvinism must change. Baseless Iranian shallow so-called morality must change. Women must think more and put away their silly traditions and stupidly dead religious traditions.
X: Aren’t you way too liberal for a Persian girl?
U: Aren’t you way too liberal for a Damn Republican Conservative? Just look at IPC?
X: Aren’t you a smartass? Don’t people call you that?
U: Yes I am smart and I do have a great ass!
X: What do you like about IPC?
U: What’s not to like? I love everything. Finally an Iranian website with guts which is also entertaining, informative and worth reading.
X: What’s in the future plans?
U: Expand my modeling career, doing new types of modelings, becoming a better artist, making lots of money, kissing no one’s ass, and seeing more of you.
X: You are so sweet. Tell me, do you use aliases?
U: Don’t you?
U: Same reason as you do! To be on the safe side. With Muslims, Hezbos, psychos and Iranian Moral Majority, you must not take chances.
X: Any advice for future Persian models?
U: It’s a Dog eat Dog profession. You must be very “Thick Skinned” to survive. But if you believe you got what it takes and you are good, then go for it and stick with it until you make it in any branch of modeling as you desire.
X: What are your hobbies?
U: Sketching, dancing, reading and IPC.
X: Who do you love?
U: Who loves you baby?
X: You must really be an old and faithful IPC reader because you know my expressions by heart!
U: I follow your writings. I’m a kind of same as you. People either hate or love me and what I say and do, but no one ignores me!
X: What is the meaning of life?
U: Good memories and unforgettable legacy. You must leave something good behind for people to remember you by or else it was all a waste.
X: What is the one thing that you would possibly see yourself to do in the future? Something that you don’t do now?
U: Talk Show host on radio or TV
X: Are you a happy camper?
U: I love my body and soul.
X: Any advice for Persians out there?
U: Whatever you do, then do it from the heart and be real. I hate fakes.
X: Thank you for being a part of our project.
U: It is an honor. It was fun working with you and Cat.
X: Loved your style. You’re a cool, bold and intelligent dame.
U: Thank you and I hope we will be in touch for future projects. Ahreeman, please never change. We love you just the way you are.
X: Best to you Ulduz, any final words for the readers?
U: I love all of you because without your support, I would never be able to do what I like most which is modeling.
So the three of use ended the shoot and each went our own ways, Ulduz back to Hollywood, Cat back to Morocco and me back to the office.
C’est La Vie!
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