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A Journey through my Childhood - Chapter 1
 
Chapter 1, 2, 3

Jahan Koodak Elementary School Stories
A Journey through my Childhood

Friends, Classmates, Bus-mates and Schoolmates
Chapter One

Ahreeman X
May 28, 2010


Jahan Koodak School Logo
At the bottom: Jahan Koodak
On the globe: The world is in children’s hands

Jahan Koodak Elementary School Stories
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three

Introduction

I dedicate this chapter of the X Diaries to all of my Friends, Classmates, Bus-mates and Schoolmates from Jahan Koodak (Child’s World) Elementary School in Iran.

From time to time, we tend to drift and go back to the periods of our lives when we had fun memories. We hold these memories precious and we often cherish them with our souls. After all, memories are what we are all about! It works as a retreat to a time in our lives when we were carefree, full of life and happiness. A time of our lives when the problems of the world and life had not hit us yet! Going back to old time memories can be a type of mental therapy!


Ahreeman Junior with private arsenal!
Damn, since early ages I was in to guns!

For more episodes of Ahreeman and Guns, review:

Eye-Rainian RedNeck Goes to Gun Club!

For more X Diaries (Ahreeman X Memoirs), review:

Founder of IPC Index

I was sitting on a plantation rocking chair near the water fountain in our recently added outdoor patio / kitchen area at the back garden of Ecbatana.

For more information on Ecbatana, please review:

Why I prefer Plant over Human?

While rocking back and forth, listening to the sound of water fall and gazing at some of my fruit trees, I got fixated staring at the distant corner of the garden. Then I got drowned gazing at the horizon.

It was another seventy (degrees Fahrenheit) and sunny day in San Diego. The sound of the birds and waterfall had a hypnotic effect and in combination with the peaceful calming scenery, gave me homeostasis and put me in a state of Trans. It took me back, way back to the early years of my life. My mind, like a camera started taking pictures. Years have passed, flashback in to the past and suddenly I was back in the elementary school! Each of you can relate to these memories because each of you had similar memories of such; however, the old schoolmates from Jahan Koodak can relate with them most!

It was the best of times and it was the worst of times! It was a simple time, the way we used to be. In this chapter of X Diaries, allow me to take you back in time to my childhood. Let us go back to when I was attending the elementary school. I am going to share with you some old memories from age 5 to age 10, when I was living in Iran (I lived in Iran the first 16 years of my life). I have attended the Jahan Koodak School from 1966 to 1971:

Jahan Koodak Elementary School and Kindergarten
6 Years attended (1966 – 1971)
________________
1966 - Kindergarten = Age 5
1967 - 1st Grade = Age 6
1968 - 2nd Grade = Age 7
1969 - 3rd Grade = Age 8
1970 - 4th Grade = Age 9
1971 - 5th Grade = Age 10

Most of the kids started elementary school at age 7, but my mother wanted me to start at 6 to get ahead a year.

Back in 1970, the Iranian educational system (copying the American Educational System) had made a new experiment. Before 1971, our education consisted of:

Kindergarten = 1 year
Elementary = 6 years
High School = 6 years

As of 1971, the Iranian educational system had changed shape to:

Kindergarten = 1 year
Elementary = 5 years
Junior High = 3 years
High School = 4 years


Ahreeman Junior with the Lederhosen!
I look like I just got back from a German festival!

Uniforms

We had to wear uniforms. There was even a special department store which we had to go to costume tailor our uniforms. Boys’ uniform were consisted of a white collar shirt with a bowtie or a tie (and if you were a slob, then with no tie and open top buttons), a navy blue coat with a Jahan Koodak emblem on its right chest pocket and a gray trousers. Girls’ uniform was a one piece gray dress with Jahan Koodak emblem on its right chest pocket, a band around the waist line with a bow on the front of the waist line. However when the girls were outgrowing their dresses (and their parents had no time to go and buy them a new one), the bow on the waistline would move upward and become the bow on the bottom of the chest line! Also the dress line would move upward and become a very short dress! Some girls had to wear this type of a dress because their parents did not have time to shop for a new dress but some girls would do it to look sexy! This is when the dress would start to look like a Mini Dress, Miniskirt or a Mini Crotch Cover!


Ahreeman Junior and Nadia (cousin)
This was a photo collage for the new school year.

Ahreeman Junior at School

Most of the times, I wore a bowtie with my suit and carried a briefcase attaché AKA James Bond Briefcase (Kif James Bondi). Back in those days, I looked and behaved very preppy. I had a preppy sub-cultural posture, mannerism, speech patterns, vocabulary, dress up, etiquette and conduct. I was a perfect gentleman, formally greeting the ladies, opening the automobile door for the ladies and charm them with my mannerism and actions. Back then I was not yet corrupted, lampooned and become a “Lat O Put” (lowly thug)! See, this is what bad friends with bad influences do to you!

Faculty and Staff

We had many faculty and staff but I am going to mention a few. Of course I can never forget the dear first grade teacher Ms. Azizi. It is very important to have a decent first grade teacher who makes an impact on you. The first grade teacher can make or break you. Ms. Azizi was such a woman who made you. Where did they get the patience to deal with brats like us, day in and day out?

Each grade had many classes which they were named as for instance the 5th grade: 5A, 5B, 5C, etc. (in Persian: 5 Alef, 5 Be, 5 Pe, etc.). The classes were basically ordered by the level of students’ GPA and for example they would go: 5A, 5B, 5C … all the way down. The order was from the best students’ class, excellent students’ class, the good students’ class, the average students’ class, all the way down to the lazy students’ class. There must have been a number of teachers teaching each grade because there were many classes in each grade. I strictly remember that 1st grade must have had at least 6 different classes!

Mr. Pishvai was the principal. He was an average man with average height wearing glasses, dressed up clean and wore cologne. Mr. Farrokh was a relative of Pishvai, the assistant principal and the gym teacher. He was a healthy man, athletic and with receding hair line (way back) who was often wearing sneakers and sweatpants. Mr. Mosaferi was head of the Math department, also the 5th grade math teacher. He was a powerful man in JK (Jahan Koodak). He was a skinny man, average tall with a thin face, long thin nose and dark features. He was very tough, had a temper, would not take any Shiite from anyone but he was also fair and extremely logical. He dealt with reason and logic (typical math teacher) rather than gossip, myths and superstition. Mr. Saidi was head of the English department and we literally called him Mr. Saidi (in English) or Dr. Saidi. He had a professor style beard and mustache; he was a big and round man. As you are aware, I always interest and respect the working man. Working class and labor are the backbones of the society.

Labor Day and Aqa Nuri

Forget the faculty; one man that I have to certainly mention was Abdolhossein the doorman! I must mention all the good labors, cooks, cafeteria employees, bus drivers and attendants but as the representative to all of them, I will mention Abdolhossein which was a gentle and helping man who would kindly assist you in any which way that he could. Bless Abdolhossein.

I must mention that the head faculty of JK including but not limited to Pishvai, Farrokh and Mosaferi were all from Province of Gilan (North Iran) either from Port Pahlavi (Anzali) or Rasht (the capital).

5th Grade National Final Exams

We were the first guinea pigs of this new experiment. We were the first graduating class of the New System which was called the “New Period” AKA “Dore-ye Jadid” (Rahnamayi). So as of 1971, the same as the Nationally Held “University Entrance Exams” (Konkoor), also our 5th Grade Final Exams had become Nationally Held and carried much weight towards our future education. These 5th Grade Final Exams would decide the level of our knowledge and education. They would also decide which Junior High we could attend to.

Memories

Now you may ask, how on earth do I remember all of these memories? The answer is very simple, I have a digital memory. My mind is a camera, once a picture is taken, I shall memorize it forever! I can meet a person 30 years ago and take a picture of her in my mind. After 30 years, I can still remember her face! It is surely a blessing to own a digital memory, yet I have to admit that these days, my memory is not what it used to be. I must be getting old!

Jahan Koodak

After the 1979 Islamic Reaction (Revolution), everything had changed and basically every aspect of the Iranians’ lives had declined. School Systems were no exception. Jahan Koodak was also no exception. But before 1979, Jahan Koodak was “The Elementary School” which the elite of Iran would send their children there! Unless your parents lived outside Tehran (Capital) or they were Military or Diplomatic (who had to travel and be on the move), then they were living in Tehran and if they were elite, then they would have sent you to Jahan Koodak.

In the Imperial Iran, the princes and princesses of Pahlavi Dynasty were attending the “Reza Pahlavi School” (how arrogant to name the prince’s school, his own name). Right after Reza Pahlavi School, there was Jahan Koodak. Anyone who was anybody in Iran, would send his child to Jahan Koodak. Children of the cabinet members, parliament representatives, senators, journalists, authors, business tycoons, celebrities, and other elites were attending Jahan Koodak. The Jahan Koodak of before 1979 was a whole different story than Jahan Koodak of today! Today’s Jahan Koodak is only a shell of what Jahan Koodak used to be!


Ahreeman Junior at the birthday party
Check out the Beatles hairdo!

Now you may ask me why Jahan Koodak was so important and why everyone wanted to send their children to this school? Good question and this would bring me to my next subject:

Hormoz Pishvai

Hormoz Pishvai was the principal of Jahan Koodak. He founded Jahan Koodak. Hormoz Pishvai was not a great educator but he was a good businessman. He was a knowledgeable, but cruel and somewhat immoral businessman. He was a business opportunist and a visionary.

In 1960s and 1970s Iran boom, the nation was enjoying the newly wealth and comfort which the oil production and technology had brought along. The Upper Classes and Upper Middle Classes of Iran were having a race to compete with one another by showing off their better standards of living to each other! In Persian we call this “Cheshm Ham Cheshmi”.

Shallow Lives of the Elite

Allow me to explain it to you in this manner:

In 1960s and 1970s Imperial Iran, hypothetically, if my family would buy a villa in Bandar Pahlavi (Anzali) in Caspian Sea Shores, then your family would buy one in Marseilles, France; if my mother would buy a diamond ring, then your mother would buy a brilliant ring; if my father would buy a T-Bird (Ford Thunderbird), then your father would buy a Cadillac.

* Note:
Please note that in the Imperial Iran (before 1979); American Luxury Automobile Imports were the most prestigious vehicles. German automobiles were nowhere near as classy as American imports. Mercedes Benzes were taxi cabs and BMWs were recreational vehicles for the youth. Today, things have changed and German automobiles are the most prestigious vehicles for Iranians.

So basically if you didn’t want to send your kid to America or Europe to study, then Jahan Koodak would be your next best choice. Now why was that? Jahan Koodak was famous not because of its great educational system and value, but it was famous because it had class and prestige.  Do you recall my point about “Cheshm Ham Cheshmi”?

Everyone had to send their kids to Jahan Koodak, even if they had to beg and borrow, they had to do it! They wanted their kids to go to school with the children of the elite! This was the Iranian Sub-Culture of pre 1979.

Hormoz Pishvai was a very knowledgeable man and wise to the Iranian Elite’s and generally Iranian Upper and Upper Middle Classes’ needs and urges for “Cheshm Ham Cheshmi”. He saw the need to create a school for the elite. So he created a Western Style, fancy and classy elementary school in a nice area of Tehran (Vanak), located at the Vanak Circle, with school buses, cafeteria, fancy playground, neat uniforms, end of the school year plays and banquets and all the goodies to attract the elite to register their children to attend this establishment.

Hormoz Pishvai was in the right place at the right time creating the right establishment. He created and supplied what Tehran really demanded! As I said, he was a good businessman and a good visionary. The problems with Pishvai were that:

a. He was mixing personal issues with school business.
b. He was an envious man.
c. He had no business ethics

Let us elaborate:

a. He was mixing personal issues with school business.

Throughout his career, Pishvai had business ventures and relationships with various people. Every time these business ventures and personal relationships would go sour, then he would retaliate and take revenge by punishing the children of these business associates and socialites. After all, their children were attending Jahan Koodak! This was an Ace in Pishvai’s hand.     

Pishvai would use all types of punishments including corporal punishments and even expelling of these children only to piss their parents off!

b. He was an envious man.

Pishvai was always envious of the Iranian Upper Classes or the Intellectual Elite’s circa. He always wanted to shove himself inside these circles; however, he was lacking the essence to join in. He would use his school (Jahan Koodak) to get into these circles and parties, but once again when he was rejected, he would retaliate with taking on revenge from the children of these people!

c. He had no business ethics

Pishvai was charging an arm and a leg for tuition. Of course the elite could afford it and the wanna be elite would beg and borrow to afford it.  The amount of tuition which Pishvai was charging was not business proper, but it was Highway Robbery and High Seas Piracy.

Another episode which Pishvai was famous for, was the fact that he would admit and graduate any kid for the right amount of money. It did not matter if a student was not qualified to enter Jahan Koodak and he did not have the wits to pass the grades and graduate, but as long as his parents had the lump sum amount of dough to hand Pishvai, then he would allow any derelict and reject in to Jahan Koodak and would gladly force the teachers to pass them and even graduate them!

Throughout these unethical business practices, Pishvai had piled up a good amount of fortune in his bank accounts.

Family Background

My father was a very famous journalist who started his career from a simple reporter, then writer, then newspaper editor, then general editor of various major Iranian magazines and finally published his own magazine. He was one of the handful of journalists in Iran who was granted a “Political License” to publish a Political Magazine. Political Licenses were directly granted by Alahazrat (Mohammad Reza Shah Pahlavi), Shah of Iran. So after years of experience in the field and running a few major Iranian magazines, finally he end up publishing a popular, political and intellectual magazine about the news, politics, literature, poetry, arts, history, fun and games. The magazine was basically an intellectual magazine but it had a bit of little something for everyone. The magazine was pretty popular with the Intellectuals, Students, Faculty, artists and professionals.

My father was also a famous author and historian who wrote and published a number of valuable historical books. His historical researches were extremely valid and noticeable. For each of his books, he spent months and years of research, interviews, taking notes, writing and editing. His historical research, papers and books were popular with the scholarly circa. Some of the great fans of his works were Shah and Prime Minister Hoveyda who both insisted for him to publish a weekly magazine, so they could read more of his work on weekly basis rather than waiting years for each book to be published. Shah and Hoveyda truly enjoyed his writing style in his books, but once the magazine hit the stands, they had become solid readers of his magazine.

In addition of being a journalist and an author, he was also a cabinet minister (later on in life). He was a minister in his Excellency Prime Minister Hoveyda’s cabinet. My father and his Excellency Hoveyda were good friends. So basically there were times that my father held 3 different positions as a journalist, author and a cabinet minister.

My mother also had a couple of positions. She had a sensitive post in the Health Ministry and in addition she was the assistant to Empress Farah Pahlavi in one of her charitable organizations.

My Grand Mother (mother’s side) was a famous medical doctor (from the first graduating class of the Tehran University) and a successful businesswoman engaged in Tehran Stock Market and Real Estate boom.

In the future I will write a chapter about my family and dynasty but for now, for more information about my family, read:

Orchid Man – Amir Abbas Hoveyda, Great Prime Minister of Iran

In Darbar, We Eat This Kind of Mame! – Asadollah Alam, Minister of Imperial Court

DeChadorization Day, Women’s Liberation Day of Iran - Grandmother

Hormoz Pishvai’s Relation to My Family

Hormoz Pishvai entered our lives through my father. He had no connection with my mother’s side (Qajar and Zand Dynasties). Hormoz Pishvai was a friend of my father since childhood. They lived in the same neighborhood and in the same seaport of Bandar Pahlavi (Anzali). They were both “Pahlavichi” (from Bandar Pahlavi). They knew each other’s families, they had common friends and they grew up together. They were bosom buddies since childhood who partied, danced, drank, womanized and threw opium dens in early youth all the way to adulthood and middle ages.

Pishvai was an average man with average intellect and average looks. My father was a tall (6’ 2”), white (Georgian Russian Aristocracy), handsome, Intellectual playboy. Due to his job (Journalism), he had female authors, poets, singers, songwriters, actresses, models, artists and other celebrities hanging around him at all times! They all needed publicity and were begging him to write about them or publish them. As long as I can remember, my father was never a decent moral family man. He never grew up to become a family man. He partied in his youth and he continued partying throughout his adulthood and middle ages. He led a life of a single man even after the marriage. He never faced marital responsibilities and lived a bachelor’s lifestyle!

I basically grew up in the Imperial Court and Cabinet and to be honest, the 3 of the most promiscuous womanizing flirts which I have ever seen in my life were Shah, Alam (Minister of Imperial Court) and my father. My father was not a man but a machine! He was not just ravishing the celebrities, but also ravishing the Imperial Statesmen’s wives, businessmen’s wives and daughters! I have to admit that my father had ravished more women than Alam but he was no match to the Shah of Iran. My father was changing mistresses and girlfriends every season, but Shah of Iran was exploring women on monthly, weekly and even daily basis, and then switch around and go to the new ones! To read more about Shah of Iran and Alam’s wild sexual lives and orgies, read Alam’s Diaries, but I don’t need to read them because I lived in Imperial Iran and as an insider, I was perfectly aware of everyone’s private lives including but not limited to my father, Alam and Shah!

Asadollah Alam Confidential Diaries
Imperial Iran's Minister of the Courthouse

 

So why am I bringing up all of these episodes? Because it was good to be my father’s friend! He was a flaming hot playboy journalist / author / politician who was present in the various Iranian Circa such as the Celebrity Circa, Elite Circa, Intellectual Circa and the Imperial Court and Cabinet Circa. My father was a generous man and always thrown some of his leftover to his friends! He never shared but once he was done, he would introduce these ladies to his friends and let them to have a piece of the pie too! So as you can see, it was great to live in the 1960s and 1970s Imperial Iran and it was surely very beneficial to be my father’s friend. This was yet another reason for Hormoz Pishvai to cherish my father’s friendship!

As long as I can remember, Hormoz Pishvai would never miss attending the parties in our estate. He loved the formal parties because he would get to know people in both my father’s and my grandmother’s circa. He also enjoyed the informal parties where he could bring along his wife and do some family interacting with our family and friends, but he would most enjoy my father’s bachelor parties where he could hang around with journalists, authors, artists, poets, musicians, singers and celebrities and gain some social benefits!

The funny thing is that even though they were friends, yet Hormoz Pishvai always envied my father. For some bazaar reason, he was jealous of him. In a twisted way, he was always trying to compete! Remember the “Cheshm Ham Cheshmi” episodes? For instance, my father imported a back then hot Sports T-Bird (Ford Thunderbird) and right away Pishvai sold his Oldsmobile and bought a new Benz!

Now that you have a little background on Jahan Koodak and Hormoz Pishvai, let us attend to the juicy parts! Let me talk about my memories of my Friends, Classmates, Bus-mates and Schoolmates

What Made Jahan Koodak Special?

Little things meant a lot, for instance Nowruz (Persian New Year) greeting cards, student award cards and end of the year invitation cards to the plays and banquets held at school. These cards would come in the mail and brighten up our days. I have managed to save some of these cards.


Ahreeman Junior at Maktab (Old School) - Jahan Koodak Nowruz (Persian New Year) greeting card
A collage greeting card with my face sent by JK School

Jahan Koodak would conduct special events. For instance, the end of the academic year play and banquet dinner was one such event. Jahan Koodak was holding end of the school year ceremonies consisting of a school play with select students participating. These plays needed a lot of preparations and hours of practice.  I recall an early one which I participated in it. I believe it was an end of the academic year play which was held before my 4th grade attending JK (Jahan Koodak), because I remember that I was only a little boy. This play was called “The Mouse and The Cat” (Mush O Gorbeh) based on the famous book by the same name. “Mush O Gorbeh” was a political satire written by Ubayd Zakani, the Persian poet and satirist (14th Century). Ubayd Zakani was from the city of Qazvin (famous for gay and pedophile activities), so go figure where did all the humor come from!


Ahreeman Junior’s Space Venture - Jahan Koodak Nowruz (Persian New Year) greeting card
A collage greeting card with my face sent by JK School

JK chose this book to become the subject of our play. The big kids, the 5th and 6th graders (back then it was still the Old Period AKA Dore-ye Qadim of educational system) wore the fancy white with patches of black cat costumes, and were handed fancy swords and shields, while us, the little kids from the 2nd and 3rd grades wore the cheesy and dull gray mouse costumes and were handed the cheesier swords and shields! Even the cat whiskers looked fancy but our whiskers felt like Brillo pads!


Ahreeman Junior in Persian Chariot - Jahan Koodak Nowruz (Persian New Year) greeting card
A collage greeting card with my face sent by JK School

I recall that we had hours of practice in these hot and heavy costumes, sweating like a dog with my mouth wide open and tong  hanging out of the side, aching for cold water! Finally after the play, we got to keep the costumes as souvenirs (what great privilege)!

Every year, we participated in a costume play based on a famous book which was directed by the faculty. After the parents and the guests would see our play and passionately applause for us, we felt like Shakespearian actors and actresses. Then we were ready to dig in the goodies served in the Dinner Banquet.  The h’orderves, entrees and best of all, the desserts were yummy!

 I still cannot solve the mystery of how on earth the food during the school year was mostly sucked but at the banquets it was surely delicious! However I have to admit that even the school year, Chelo Kabob Kubideh (ground beef kabob with charbroiled tomatoes and rice) was edible! I don’t know, maybe I was a finicky eater; after all, my grandmother had bought off chef of the Tehran Hilton Hotel to become our House Chef! Maybe I was spoiled but I could surely taste the difference between what they fed us during the academic year and then the banquet cuisine which was fed to our parents and us at the end of the year ceremony!

For God’s sake, even throughout the year, the food which was served at the faculty table looked like a well made gourmet cuisine (I never tasted it) but ours looked like a hodge podge, put together rations for the military barracks! I assume many kids thought of it as great cuisine (those who did not have gourmet chefs and their mothers did not know jack Shiite about cooking)! I still remember some of the kids were telling me nightmare stories about their mothers’ cooking skills! These were the same kids who drooled all over themselves for the cafeteria food!

So all of these little things meant a lot and they were what made JK very special and miles ahead and above from the other elementary schools!

My True Identity

After all these years, many of my grade school friends cannot remember my name. They can picture who I am but they cannot pinpoint my exact name. Maybe they do not have digital memories such as I; however, we can’t blame them for bad memories. It is all the fact that these episodes are from decades in the past when we were between the ages of 5 to 10. Also I have to admit that it has a lot to do with my name.

I own a unique Ancient Persian Avestan name. All throughout my life, I have never heard or seen anyone else with this name either inside or outside Iran. In other words, so far I have never seen any other Iranian with the same first name as myself! Well, except one person, he is a famous historical Persian Sepahbod (Lieutenant General), an assistant commander to the Great Military Legend, Satrap (Governor) and Arteshbod (General) Ariobarzan (Ariobarzanes). This great commander along with Ariobarzan and his troops had fought the Battle of the Persian Gate (near Yasuj) on the way to Persepolis. They have managed to resist Alexander and his Greco-Macedonian army for a month and delay Alexander’s invasion to Persepolis for 30 days, yet finally they died fighting to the last man. They gained a heroic death against a massive Greek force and they have become legends.

So only a few historians and history buffs in Iran would know the name of this general. Rest of the Iranians have never heard of him or this name, unless if they have met me! So as you can see, my name is a very unique and unusual ancient Persian name, never heard by the average Iranian. Maybe this is why; many of my old schoolmates simply cannot remember my name!

In the future, I have plans to write a complete series about Ariobarzan and the Battle of the Persian Gates. This is an obscured period in the Persian History which rarely any historian has ever gone in depth and in details about it. Most of the writings about this period are lies by the Greek Historians to undermine the Persians’ heroic defense at the Persian Gates. The story is either historically twisted and heard or never heard by the average Iranian.

Stupidity of Hezbollah

I am a man of many faces. I have 2 Iranian identities, one with my father’s last name and one with my mother’s last name (my actual Persian identity). I have one American identity (my official identity) and then there is Ahreeman X (which I am known by). Hezbollah is so stupid that they still cannot put 2 and 2 together or shall I say all 4 together and comprehend that all of them are me! They know my face pretty well, my pictures are everywhere and they see me in person all over San Diego and all around the world; however, they still cannot conclude that all 4 of us are the same person! Why is that?

I don’t want to sound racist but it is all in the culture. Islam is an infection; an Arabo-Islamic infection of our race, blood and mostly our culture. Arabo-Muslim are mentally inferior to our Persian Aryan psyche, race, blood and culture. Their half-breed cousins in Iran (Hezbollah and Iranian Muslims) are also inferior to our glorious Persian perfection. They are not mentally capable to put 2 and 2 together and solve problems like we do! This is why Hezbollah are Neanderthals and I always outwit them. They are too inferior for the grand Ahreemanic wisdom of the Mighty Ahreeman.

Now, was that too politically incorrect and harsh for the liberals, Islamists and Muslim Apologists’ taste? Did I hurt your feelings? Have I opened up old wounds and then poured salt in them? Are your little liberal hearts bleeding? Are your Muslim egos scarred for life? Did I give you a booboo? Ahhhh Popa Ahreeman is sorry, I promise I will kiss your booboo and make it feel all better. OKey Dokey? Now pick up all the pieces of your hearts and egos scattered all over the floor and continue reading the story. C’mon babies, have a little sense of humor.

Who loves you baby?
Ahreeman indeed!
Who else?

Friends, Classmates, Bus-mates and Schoolmates

There were so many friends in Jahan Koodak and I cannot possibly mention every single one of them. With apology, here is a list for some of the characters which I will mention in this tale:

Friends
_______________

Girls
*
Roya K.
Azita A.
Helen N.
Lina P.
Shahnaz V.
Roya M.
Susan Mo.
Minoo Mo.
Vida I.
Gilda F.
Atusa E.
Roshanak R.
Mitra G.
Sharareh K.
Susan M.
Setareh S.
Saghar O.
Ladan B.
Mitra Gh.
Fariba S.
_______________

Boys
*
Sassan B.
Afshin N.
Ali P.
Kayhan S.
Ahmad S.
Shahram S.
Bijan K.
Afshin E.
Jahanshah P.
Abdolhossein B.
Parsa T.
Shahram K.
Nader M.
Behrooz B.
Shahram T.
Kuymars N.
Khashayar R.
Amir P.
Parham E.
Kamran A.
Bahman R.
Nasser N.

Girls were More Mature!

I have to admit that girls that age knew more about the birds and bees than the boys! We were little immature Shiite kickers while the girls knew it all! In fact girls were more mature in general.


Ahreeman Junior at a school party
I’m the one a head and shoulder taller than everyone else, concentrating on my cake!

Girls were definitely more mature than boys. While they knew all about the facts of love and life, we had our heads up our asses! Would you believe that until the beginning of the final year of the elementary school, I thought that girls also had penises! I thought to have sex, the boy had to lie down on top of the girl and push his penis on top of the girl’s penis so by sticking his penis in to her penis cavity, they could have intercourse! That’s how naïve we were about sex! On the other hand a 9 year old girl in the 4th grade would know it all!


Ahreeman Junior and girls
Why are these girls all around me?
Is it me or is it my cake that they seek?

Jahan Koodak Memories

Most of these memories are basically from the 5th grade when we were older and we assumed that we were grownups; however, the memories go back and forth from kindergarten to the 5th grade!  Back in those days when the old period (educational system) was done with and the new period (Dore-ye Jadid) was beginning, we appeared as The “It” Group! We have always been undermined by the 6th graders, but now that the 6th grade was eliminated and they were out of the picture and out of Jahan Koodak, we, the 5th graders had become the kings of the region! We were the future graduating class, the older kids, the seniors and the Hip Group! We were the kings and queens of Jahan Koodak and The “It” Kids! The whole school was looking up to us! We were The True “It” Group, times were great, we had no worries, we had it all and life was surely rewarding in the Imperial Iran. Now I will introduce you to some of my Friends, Classmates, Bus-mates and Schoolmates.

New School Year

Another school year started and they lined us up in the schoolyard. They done that every year. They were lining us up by the grades; each grade was divided to few lines (Classes based by GPA). For instance the 5th Grade students were lined up in different lines such as 5A, 5B, 5C, etc. (in Persian: 5 Alef, 5 Be, 5 Pe, etc.), 5A were the best students and then it would go down all the way to the lazy students! Each class was divided by 2 sub-lines of boys and girls. Even though the classes were mixed, yet at the lineup, each class was divided to 2 sub-lines of boys and girls.

The line would start with the shortest kid in the front and going back to the tallest kid all the way at the back. Assuming that my tall physique (presently at 6’ 3”) would guarantee me being the last student in line, yet it never happened! There were always kids taller than me!

We were the class 5A, the crème of the crop. Mr. Farrokh the assistant principal and the gym teacher walked towards us with Mr. Mosaferi (the influential math teacher). Farrokh pointed at us (the boys line) and told Mosaferi: ”look at them, this is the line for the sons of journalists!” He was correct, for some bizarre reason, from short to tall; almost the whole line was consisted of sons of Iran’s top journalists! Maybe that’s why we were above average and well literate!

From front to back we were lined up by the height. Sassan B. was the first in line. That little rascal rat with Beatles style of haircut could simply not stand still! He was squirming around like a little worm or slug! It seemed like he had no bone structure in his body! The boy had so much energy and he was always on the move. You could never find him sitting or standing still! He gave a new meaning to the term Hyperactive! Next in line were Shahram K., Ali P., Afshin N. (my best friend) all the way to me. I thought I was the tallest but I looked back and Bahman R. was standing behind me and he was surely taller than I.

Then I looked at our class’ girls line and Roya K. was the first in line. This was beside the fact that she was a little feminist leader but because she was the shortest girl in the class. Don’t let the little skinny pale girl image fool you, she was a wild child. Behind her were her gang: Susan M., Saghar O., Azita A., etc.

Back then, there were basically 3 hip rings and then there were the rest of the kids. These 3 rings had ring leaders. The ring leaders were Roya, Sassan and me. Each of us had our own rings, fans and enthusiasts. We truly had our own fans and our own world! Even though we were competitors and each ruled a chunk of the Jahan Koodak’s world, yet we all had a mutual respect for each other. We were bounded to be friends, how could we not be? After all, our families knew each other and we were going to each other’s parties.

Roya was a pale and skinny little girl with dark hair. Don’t let the innocent little girl disguise fool you. Everyone looked at her height and they saw the 4 feet above the ground, but they failed to see the other extra 8 feet which was buried under the ground (Persian Expression meaning: There were much more about her than what was visible to the eyes)! That girl was a devil in disguise, she was an angel with a halo on top of her head but if you looked closely, you could see a bit of her red tail sticking out and showing under her white gown! She was an intriguing character, an innocent angel but full of covert mischief! She was a little rascal (very Sheytoon). Don’t let the looks fool you; she was a scandalous woman in the body of a little pale girl!

Then there was Sassan who was a little boy with dark Beatle Style hairdo. He was the 5th Beatle, the Iranian one! Sassan was the Tasmanian Devil with not a minute of rest! The boy was on a constant move! He simply had no rest! He was like a little termite who would eat you out of house and home! He was a little buzzing bee who would disrupt the whole class but the teacher could not locate his exact whereabouts, simply because like a chameleon he would disguise himself and blend in the vegetations of the Jahan Koodak jungles (classroom)!  Sassan was a little boy so he could well hide behind the big boys in the class, so the teacher could not locate the source of the noise which was his making. Sassan’s middle name was spelled TROUBLE.

Roya’s father was also at one time either a cabinet minister (if I am not mistaking) or someone well high above in the government administration. Sassan’s father was a journalist. He was the publisher of a major Iranian magazine. Roya was sitting in front of the class and she was a good student. She was Miss Goody Two Shoes! Sassan on the other hand was sitting at the back of the class, so he could attend to his covert misdeeds hiding behind all the big boys! Overall, the three of us were good students.

Now let’s get to the juicy parts, my Jahan Koodak memories. Continued on next page.

Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
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