Jahan Koodak Elementary School Stories
A Journey through my Childhood
Friends, Classmates, Bus-mates and Schoolmates
May 28, 2010
Ahreeman Junior and Nadia (cousin)
This picture was part of a photo portfolio photographed by the photographer of my father’s magazine. The portfolio was made for a pictorial article in the “Back to School Special” edition of the magazine. Another photo of us ended up being published on the cover of the magazine. In this photo we are sitting at the pool corner in my house and getting ready to go to school. Supposedly we are waiting for the school bus. I’m in uniform but Nadia (a kindergartener) did not have to wear uniform. Check out my briefcase attaché and bowtie. I look pretty preppy!
… and now here’s the rest of the story, my Jahan Koodak memories:
Mitra G. Episode!
I specifically remember this one time that the teacher dragged Sassan and myself to the front of the class and put each of us on one side of the school bench, yet made Mitra G. to sit in between us! The teacher had done that so Sassan and I would not disrupt the class! Mitra G. was such a good little girl, a quiet and a calm student with a gentle way about her. Imagine Mitra trying to listen to the teacher while sitting between Sassan and I. We basically drove her to insanity! Mitra was quietly sitting in between us trying to pay attention to teacher’s lecture while Sassan and I, one on her right and one on her left, were kicking each other, blow shooting spit paper balls with Bic pens to each other, punch each other, pinch each other, chat with each other, play paper games with each other and finger each other all from beneath, above or thorough Mitra G.! Poor Mitra had a hell of a time concentrating on the course! At one point she had lost it, screamed and told us to stop it or else! I think everyone heard her shouting and stared at us! This made us to behave for a while to avoid getting kicked out of the class by the teacher and to visit Mr. Pishvai’s office! But after a little while, we went back to our old selves raising hell in the class! I surely feel sorry for Mitra G.; it must have not been fun for her sitting between Sassan and I.
Roya K.’s Wedding!
Roya had invited me to a few of her birthdays. In fact I still have a couple of her birthday invitation cards. They along with a number of my old school greeting cards, invitations and rewards are in my school treasure chest. In one of these birthday parties, Roya had decided to play a wedding game! Somehow she managed to drag some white wedding headsets, veils, tails and shawls from the boxes in the basement. Right in the middle of the birthday party, Roya dragged me, a little boy, her little sister and a couple of witnesses to the basement. She wanted to play marriage! Roya wanted to throw a private play wedding party. Her plan was to marry me, her sister to marry the little boy and the two other kids to become witnesses for the wedding! So Roya and her sister dressed up in some large wedding outfits (too big for them) and started to walk down the aisle.
For some bizarre reason, I refused to marry Roya (Goddamn, since those early days I was afraid to be tied down). Roya was all dressed up with the whole ceremony and witnesses awaiting but no groom to marry! A few times she yelled at me,
Roya: Don’t spoil my wedding
Roya: Stop acting like an imbecile
AX: Na Ah
Roya: Stop being a spoiled brat
Roya: Get up and marry me now. Marry me you fool …
Finally Roya got pissed, gave up on me, went outside the basement and grabbed and dragged a few boys from the party down to the basement. Roya started to get a systematic revenge from me. I swear, for a good half an hour Roya made me to sit on a chair in the basement and witness her marrying every Hassan and Hussein (Dick and Harry) in the party. At least for 6 rounds, her and her sister (behind her) walked down the aisle, from the back to the front of the basement (her sister’s groom was the same guy but for each walk, she switched grooms to a different guy). In fact she didn’t let me to leave but she forced me to watch her having a series of marriages (like Elizabeth Taylor). I just sat there, watched and pretended that I was indifferent (by looking around the basement and not looking in to her face). So as long as Roya could not marry me, then she made me watch her marrying away with 6 different bozos! After all, it was her birthday and we had to listen to her and do as she pleased!
Finally I opened the basement door and escaped Roya’s serial weddings! But Roya continued with the weddings for a little while more, just enough to ignore me a little bit more and to teach me a lesson!
The Green Beret Episode!
One day I was frolicking around the schoolyard and all of a sudden they called my name in the speakers. Attention, Ahreeman Junior to the principal’s office. This wasn’t a surprise for me because I was always at the principal’s office and in trouble of some sort! So I dragged myself to the principal’s office and there you go, as soon as I walked in, Pishvai told me to come on over to his desk. So I walked all across the large office to his desk. He didn’t give me a chance to breathe, right away he handed me a piece of paper and said read it. The paper was a declaration titled “The Green Beret Group”. It went on and on about the existence of a Para-military political group named the Green Beret in Jahan Koodak. Then it went on about the Green Berets’ constitution, roles and duties plus its history and goals. Finally at the end of the document, there was a signature and guess what did it say? Hell yes, it was signed Ahreeman Junior! Now no rogue political group could be tolerated in the Imperial Iran. This was a grand crime!
Pishvai: So what do you have to say for yourself?
AX: I have no clue about this letter and this is not my signature…
P: Shut your mouth (he cut me off with a slap) …
I continued to explain myself but he slapped the Shiite out of me! Right, left, right, left, back slap, fore slap and on and on … My face was black and blue and there were tears in my eyes but I did not give him the pleasure of seeing me cry. I was a tough son of a bitch. Afterwards he kicked me out of the office and later reported the incident to my parents.
You see, throughout my childhood and teen years, I was in trouble plenty of times, so I wouldn’t have minded to receive my punishments; however, this time, I was innocent and I truly did not have a clue about the Green Beret Gang! Pishvai automatically assumed that I am guilty and then he beat the crap out of me!
Now you may ask, why on earth would Pishvai do severe corporal punishment on me? That is a valid question. Let me tell you a story:
One day (before this incident) Pishvai took me aside and told me:
Pishvai: I must be a fair principal and reward and punish everyone equally. If I go soft on you, then the student body assumes that I am discriminating and because you are my friend’s son, I am treating you with privileges and I am making exceptions. Therefore, I am not only treating you equal but I am going to punish you extra rough; therefore, the students cannot have an excuse that I am treating you as a special student.
AX: What the ….
P: Watch your language (he cut me off)
AX: But you never reward me extra severe, then how come you punish me extra severe?
P: Because if I do, then students may assume that I am having double standards and I am giving special treatment to some students. I must be extra tough on you … I have an image to withhold in this school.
AX: mumble….. mumble (What the Frag, I pondered with myself)
What type of upside down logic was that? This was not fairness, but the man was sadistic and he had found an excuse to release all of his anger on me! The worst part was that my father had given him the Green Light to go ahead and discipline me as he see fit! In my father’s eyes, I was a troublemaker and I simply had to be well disciplined! So Pishvai was just waiting for an excuse and any excuse to have an open season on my ass! Throughout my years in Jahan Koodak, he had hit the palms of my hands with a certain thick brown wooden ruler, punched me on the shoulders and slapped the Shiite out of my face. These were only the physical abuses and then there were the mental abuses, cussing the hell out of me and the put downs! In Pishvai’s mind, I was trouble and no matter what, I was always the guilty party; therefore, I deserved these punishments.
I can never forget that thick brown ruler. One way or another, from time to time, that ruler had to always land on the palm of my hand! It seemed like the ruler and I had a strong bond!
So after the Green Beret incident, I walked out of his office with rage. Many questions came to my mind: I was framed, but by whom? Why did this person frame me? What have I done to this person to deserve such revenge? Questions, questions and more questions???
I never came up with the answers. The best that I came up with were a few possibilities:
a. Roya done it because we were competing ring leaders and maybe she was still carrying the grudge for the wedding episode!
b. Sassan done it because we were competing ring leaders.
c. An unknown third party had done it but who and why?
I carried the grudge all the way to the present day when a few years ago accidentally, I have managed to find Roya on the cyber space! Roya was all grown up and turned out to be a human rights, women’s rights and refugee rights activist. It was nice to see how Roya had turned out to do humanitarian and activist works. I was so proud of her; however, I could not resist questioning her about her skim in JK? Roya sworn on Jesus, Moses, Mohammed, Buddha, Zarathustra and even Bahaullah’s heads that it was not her who betrayed me; furthermore, her parents were dragged to Pishvai’s office about the same paper and they had to convince him that it was not her who wrote that paper! Roya clearly denied any related involvement with the infamous paper and she clearly stated that she was also falsely punished for the assumption of writing that paper! This confession from Roya made me to think and go Hmmmmmmm ……
Then who could it be? Could it be Sassan, that little rat? The mystery remains until we find Sassan and question him about that infamous paper! Who knows, maybe he also got punished for not writing that damn paper! One day we will find out the truth on who really wrote that paper which I got slapped the Shiite and the blame for it! The funny thing is that this incident had occurred right before the summer vacations and we never had the chance to study and review the case to find the guilty party. That’s why it always remained a mystery!
Roya’s Secret Admirer!
Shahram S. was a little shy boy with brown hair usually worn in Beatles hairdo. Shahram was a bit chubby, just a little bit. Shahram also had a bit of stutter. He was a very calm and gentle boy, a very good boy with a pure heart. Eventually he started to hang around with me at the schoolyard. Him tagging along with me, chatting with me and becoming one of my sidekicks was not just due to the fact that he was buddy buddy with me, but mostly it was due to the fact that I was close to Roya and he was desperately in love with Roya! This was beyond poppy love but it was an obsession! If I allowed him, he would have talked about Roya throughout the whole intermissions and lunch hours! It was Roya, Roya and more Roya, it was all about Roya! Now why was he talking to me and getting advice from me about how to go about hooking up with Roya? It is simple; the boy was too shy to directly speak to Roya! He was too shy to truly express his love for Roya! So the next best thing was to become a student in “Ahreeman’s School of Love” and learn how to become a great lover, so he could learn all the nooks and crannies of this science and art which was called “Love”! So who better to learn from than the master himself! Yes, the master of Luv, the mighty Ahreeman Junior (Little Devil) himself!
Throughout one school year, Shahram poured his heart out, required carnal knowledge, asked questions and sought advice from me. I delegated as much of my time as possible to him. I tagged along with him as much as the time allowed and I done it because of his pure heart and decency, but hey, he was only one of the many who wanted to tag along with me ,ask me for advice and wanting to learn from me the skills of this trade called “Luv”! What can I say? I was the “Dr. Love”!
One day Shahram came to me and instead of asking questions about Roya and asking advice about how to pour his heart to Roya, he made a confession to me! He told me that it has been a long time that he was making something special for Roya! He told me that buying an actual diamond ring was not feasible, so the next best thing was to build one! Shahram went and snatched a teardrop piece of his mom’s chandelier from the ceiling, took it in his room and started to craft it and work on it on daily basis. The plan was to cut the crystal piece down to size and then fit it in a metal ring piece which god only knew where he got that from! In a way he was experiencing his first jewelry making task! We have a Persian expression which says:
Ba chos o guz qabr-e Aqa misakht.
(With gas and farts, he was building a mausoleum for a gentleman!)
Why gas and farts? Because construction material cost money!
Shahram even went as far as planning to get Roya to test drive the ring and wear it for size (once finished), so he could costume resize it for her!
My first take on this issue was that why on earth did Shahram want to spend a good amount of money to purchase a diamond ring for someone whom he doesn’t even have a relationship with? My second take was that how on earth Shahram would cut the crystal and create this ring from the scratch, without any jewelry making tools? But my mistake was that I was trying to ask logical questions from an illogical boy blinded by Love! In Shahram’s world, everything was possible and he was going to do everything, only if Roya would have given him a chance to express his true feelings for her! So after this confession, Shahram started to update me daily about his progress on making the ring! Shahram basically killed himself, cut himself and wrestled down with the crystal piece on daily basis. He was using a file, a saw and sandpaper to shape the crystal! Afterwards he wanted to glue down the crystal to the metal piece! The things we do for love!
From time to time I was telling myself, does Roya even deserve all this devotion? That little wench will soon or late walk all over this poor boy’s heart and shred it to pieces! Then she will eat this boy’s heart alive! Hypothetically, if Shahram ever finishes cutting down the crystal to create the ring and if Shahram would ever get the nerves to actually go beyond saying Hi and Bye to her and gets to truly express his love to her by handing her the ring, then the Evil Witch of the East (Roya) would probably take the ring from him and just throw it along with her other gifts given to her in a dust basket and then toy around with Shahram for a little while until she gets tired of him and then also throw him and his heart in the dust basket! This would be a catastrophic blow to Shahram’s heart and soul! “That Goddamn Roya”, I told myself! Down the road she will dance on this poor boy’s heart and on his grave with her tall black high heel boots!
I have no clue on whatever has happened to Shahram’s secret admiration for Roya and how did the story of Othello and Desdemona had ended; however, throughout that school year, I have lent Shahram my ears and I gave him the best info and advice possible!
Sassan’s Birthday Pool Party
The first time that Sassan invited us to his house was surely a treat. It was a cool birthday party which was held at the pool. We had a pool in our house but Sassan’s pool was much fancier. We had fun swimming, playing and goofing around. Sassan was a cool host. I specifically remember what they served for lunch! Do you know why? Here is why:
They served Chelo Kabob Kubideh (Charbroiled ground beef kabob and rice) with charbroiled tomatoes, even raw egg yolk on top of the rice, tahdig (crispy rice crust at the bottom of the rice pot), duq (yogurt soda drink) and the whole shebang. Up to here was normal. I loved chelo kabobs of all types and I loved all the side dishes and accessories, but …. there is a But! I have never (up to that moment) seen that anyone serves chelo kabob with a side of a pickled cucumber!
Sassan’s mother (Mrs. B.) served us one large pickle each with our meals. Boy it surely tasted good to munch on a crunchy pickle while eating my chelo kabob! A pickle side dish for chelo kabob, how come I have never thought of that?! Mrs. B. was surely a genius! This specific birthday party was truly great but out of every good aspect of this party, the “Pickle” concept had stayed with me until this day!
Almost every time that I eat Chelo Kabob of any type such as Chelo Kabob Kubideh (my favorite), Barg (Filet Mignon), Soltani (Combo of Barg and Kubideh), Sishlik (lamb kabob), Shish kabob, or any other chelo kabob, I make sure to eat a pickle with it! Every time I eat a pickle with my chelo kabob, I say a good word about Mrs. B. and how she used to give us each a pickle with our chelo kabob! Every time I eat chelo kabob I repeat the same story over and over to whomever that I am eating the chelo kabob with!
I have repeated this story on the dining table particularly to my Mom, Blondie and Brunettey for so many times that after a while they started shouting at me:
“Baba you Fragged us with Mrs. B.’s pickles! Frag you and Mrs. B., baba give it up and get a new story, will ya?!”
Or they say:
“What is it with you and Mrs. B.? You surely talk a lot about this woman! Older woman and a young boy, did you have a crush on this woman (Mrs. Robinson, Graduate Style)?”
And I often tell them:
AX: Don’t be silly, there was nothing between Mrs. B. and I except the pickle (but that made things worst)!
I’m telling you, at first I used to just tell the story to reminisce about the good old times, but as times passed, I started telling it over and over (at each dinning time) just to get on people’s nerves!
That day we surely had fun. I believe Sassan also had a big sister. We had a ball and I surely recall this particular party by Sassan; however, this party went in to the history, simply due to Mrs. B.’s thick and long pickles!
I shall always cherish and remember Mrs. B.’s thick, long and juicy pickles (damn, that sounded so perverted)!
So have I mentioned to yous that I loved Mrs. B.’s pickles?!
For more adventures of Blondie, Brunettey and I, visit my memoires (X Diaries):
Founder of IPC – X Diaries
Poppy Loves and Schoolyard Gossips
Schoolyard was not just a place to play soccer, volleyball, tag and then snack and munch, but it was mostly a place where gossip took place! Kindergarten yard was separated from the elementary school yard via grass and fence. Schoolyard was one big area for the little kids to play around and for us to gossip and gain information about our subject of interest (latest sweethearts) and others’ love affairs! The schoolyard was one big gossip bank similar to the People Magazine or Etelaat Haftegi (Iranian version Tabloid)!
You could hear the latest gossip taking place in the yard. You could see groups of kids or two by two hanging around and gossiping about the latest events, stories, faculty and staff episodes, teachers’ relationships, inside stories and student love affairs. JK yard was a gossip column!
Somehow all of the secret admirer stories and love affairs would either reach me indirectly or told to me directly. For instance, stories such as Shahram S. secret admiration for Roya K. or Bijan K. lust affair for Ladan B. were amongst the hot stories reported to me.
Ladan B. was a short girl with a short Bob haircut and brown hair who wore extra short uniforms. Usually girls would wear white or dark pantyhose or trousers under their dress but not Ladan! She would wear nothing and let it all hang out! Sometimes I wondered if she wore any panties at all!
There was also Azita A. who would wear short dresses and sometimes no pantyhose. Azita was this tall and dark girl with straight long black hair who often wore mini dresses.
Vida I. was also tall but a pale milky white blondish girl with greenish gray or blue eyes. Vida was somewhat skinny but not as skinny as Azita. Vida was also wearing short dresses (not as short as Azita) and no pantyhose. For some reason I have always thought that Vida is Armenian but the fact was that she was Azeri. Many people from North Iran (Azerbaijan, Gilan, Mazandaran, etc.) are very pure Aryans and pale white.
Perverted Art Teacher!
We had this art teacher who was a short and dark hairy man with curly black hair and receding hair line. I could swear that this guy was a pervert! He would often come and sit on a bench in between two girls (usually the ones with no pantyhose), supposedly give them artistic advice and correct their painting mistakes, but for some reason, his hairy wondering hands were all over the girls’ shoulders, backs and bare legs. When he spoke, he was very expressive with his hands. When he was talking about art, his hands were extremely expressive and sometimes they end up wondering around and massaging girls’ bare legs sticking out of their mini dresses! It was all in the name of art but it takes one to know one (that’s me) that the man was a genuine Chester the Molester! Art teacher often enjoyed sitting in between Ladan, Azita, Vida and a few others. Of course girls were also enjoying all the attention and the extracurricular credits and activities that they could gain!
More Poppy Loves
Bijan K. was a geeky dark boy with glasses, medium tall and thin. He was another one of my sidekicks tagging along with me handing me information about other ring leaders’ ring activities (Sassan and Roya) and sharing his deep passion for Ladan. He was gaining relationship and love advice from me. Bijan was a good boy.
I must admit that my first passion was Azita. We were friends since Kindergarten all the way to the 3rd grade. Azita was my subject of admiration until Vida had entered the story in the 4th grade. Vida had become my passion in the 4th and 5th grade. Even though I had a thing for Azita and then Vida, yet I have never spoken to them about my deep admirations for them. We remained only friends. I don’t know, maybe it was the style in those days for everyone to have a secret crush on someone but never to tell them! Unlike the popular “Kiss and Tell” or “Kiss and No Tell”, our JK style was sort of like “No Kiss but Tell”! What amazing episodes we had!
That was what life was all about, Romeo and Juliet, Leyli and Majnun, or our domestic versions of Ladan and Bijan, Roya and Shahram, Azita and Me, Vida and Me, etc. The funny thing was that in our versions, Leyli would never find out about how Majnun really felt about her!
The Iny and The Outy Face!
What the hell were the Iny and Outy faces?! In kindergarten and then the 1st, 2nd and 3rd grade, I had invented a new dimension, definition and description about the women’s looks! It was surely bizarre but in my own twisted sense of artistic imagination and beauty measurements, it all made sense! I even shared my beauty concepts with my colleagues in JK (other brats) and even my parents! How my parents used these concepts to laugh and crack up about my bizarre sense of beauty measurement is another story!
So what were the Iny and the Outy faces?
* A girl with an Iny face was often the owner of a skinny, long and dark face. This type of face looked like it was going to the direction of inward towards the skull; therefore, I was calling it the Iny Face.
* A girl with an Outy face was often the owner of a full, round and white face. This type of a face looked like it was going to the direction of outward from the skull; therefore, I was calling it the Outy Face.
Are you confused yet? But believe it or not, back then it all made sense to me! I had become quite a beauty expert! I really did not care for the girls with Iny Faces but I adored the girls with the Outy Faces! The Faces were so important to me. If the girl did not have the face, then the body was surely out and would not even be considered to become a friend or a possible girlfriend.
Knowing these definitions, later on my mother used to ask me,
Mom: Why do you like Vida?
AX: Mother isn’t it obvious, she has an Outy Face.
M: Then how do you explain your admiration for Azita?
AX: There is something sexy about her.
M: You know son, I don’t think you like girls due to their Iny or Outy Faces, but I think you have a thing for any tall girl with a long hair. It doesn’t matter how they look, above, below or average but as long as they have long hair and they are tall, then you like them!
AX: Hmmmmm (“Damn, mother makes sense, can this be true?” I told myself ….)
Could it be that with a quick analysis, mother had read between the lines and she was on to me? Could it be that mother had broken my beauty definitions and line of logic? Could it be that all these years I was measuring the girls by the degree of their facial Iny or Outyness, yet in reality I could be careless about the faces and all I cared about was for a girl to be tall and have long hair? Did mother break all my concepts and years of developing my beauty definitions and theories? Was I a little hypocrite now? Was I lying to myself for many years?
I mean she made sense! Azita had an Iny face and she was dark. Vida on the other hand had an Outy face and she was white, but I loved them both! Could this passion be due to the fact that they were both tall and had long hairs? Could this Iny and Outy facial theory have been all a bunch of cockamamie delusion, created by my twisted mind? Suddenly all of my beauty theories were crumbling down like the Pink Floyd’s Wall!
Classmates and Classroom Stories
Now let us talk about some of our classmates.
Roya K. needs no introduction because by now you have a pretty detailed idea of who Roya is. Roya had her ring. Azita A., Susan M., Saghar O., and a few others were her ring. They were often sitting in front of the class. We have already talked about Azita with her tall height and straight long black hair. Susan M. was a little white girl with dark hair and Saghar O. was a little skinny dark girl with dark hair. There were also a number of boys who were either admirers, errand boys or slave boys surrounding Roya!
Lina P. was Mr. Farrokh’s daughter. She was a white girl with light brown (Dirty Blondish) curly hair and light color eyes (either light brown, hazel or green). For some reason Lina always looked like she just got out of the bed! Deranged hair, wrinkled dress, one sock pulled up while the other was folded down and I could swear a few times I caught her wearing different shoes! She walked, sat and conducted herself in a manner which seemed like she was dragging herself around the school! She always looked like a tired girl who just got out of the bed! She looked not enthusiastic being present in JK at early mornings!
Shahnaz V. was sitting in the right middle section of the class. She was a short and dark girl with afro hair. Often, no one was sitting next to her. Why you ask? Because she often did not wear sox, did wear closed (not sandals) shoes and surely did not put baby powder in them shoes! She had a habit of taking off either one or both of her shoes in the class. You could smell Shahnaz’ feet a mile away! She was famous by the nick name Stinky Shahnaz. Shahnaz also had a little sister who attended JK. No one could tolerate getting close to her bench, set aside sitting on the same bench with her! Who knows, maybe that was her trick to have the whole bench by herself! There were usually 3 students per bench but this did not go for Shahnaz’ bench!
There were Susan Mo. and Minoo Mo. which were sisters. One was in our class and the other was a grade above. They were I believe tall Jewish girls (if I am not mistaking). They were big girls. One was the taller version of the other one and they both looked the same! I still cannot distinguish which was which and which one of them was my classmate!
Vida I., we talked about. She was a juicy white Aryan girl with either red or reddish light brown hair and light color eyes (either green or blue). She was a quiet girl who maneuvered around in a sexy manner. I don’t know she was doing it on purpose or that was just her character! She had a clumsy and loose posture which also made her sexier! She was an above average student. Her face was not that hot but as mother said, she was tall and she had wavy long hair, so that must have been the cause of my attraction to her! She also had long milky white juicy legs sticking out of her mini dress!
Mitra G. was a quiet girl often sitting in front of the class who tried to be a good student unless the teacher would make her sit in between Sassan and I. We talked about Mitra in an earlier section. Years later, I managed to meet Mitra. She was still a sweet, quiet and decent girl. She had become the older version of who she was in childhood.
Ladan B. was a provocatively sexy girl who was wearing “Mini Crotch Covers” rather than school dress at the school! A number of boys were attracted to her. There was a specific erotic nature in to the way she conducted herself. We also talked about Ladan in an earlier section.
Mitra Gh. Was a tall, husky and dark girl with the curly hair. This girl was a big girl who was best friend to Minoo Mo. They were both big girls, with short hairs who often rumbled with the guys and they could beat the Shiite out of the boys! They wouldn’t take no Shiite from anyone!
Nadia M. was my half German cousin who moved to Iran for 5 years and while in Tehran, she was under the care and supervision of my mother. Nadia was a few years younger than I. She was attending JK kindergarten and then early elementary school. She was classmates with my friend, Helen N.’s little sister.
Now let’s get to the boys,
Sassan B. was the little trouble maker whom I already addressed him. Sassan was not a boy but a nuclear generator!
Afshin N. was my best friend in elementary school. We were best friends since kindergarten. We knew everything about each other. We used to take long walks with our hands around each other’s shoulders (no, we were not gay, but that was the way the best friends walked and chatted in Iranian schools, it was a way to express close affection and friendship) chatting about everything from chicken’s milk to human’s life (Persian expression meaning covering all subjects)!
Afshin and I were friends and hanging together in and out of the school. Afshin had a little sister whom I believe also attended JK. Afshin was exactly opposite of me. He was such a mellow yellow, quiet and peaceful type of a guy. In his birthday party, he showed me a number of Popeye the Sailor man pictorial and comic books, he was really in to him!
Ali P. was a rough on the edges type of a guy. His dad was also a famous journalist. Ahmad S. was a chubby boy with curly hair who was sitting at the back of the class. Parsa T. was from an old prominent family, he was very fond of me and I was always invited to his birthday parties. Parsa had thick curly black hair and very long and thick black eyelashes (I particularly remember that)! Shahram K. was a quiet boy with sleepy droopy eyes and a bit of a buckteeth (top teeth). Shahram K. had an older sister who was a class above us, her name was Sharareh K., Nader M. was a gentle guy. Nasser N. was a nice guy. Shahram T. was a quiet guy. Behrooz B. was a tall skinny guy with glasses, he was a good student and he also had a little sister who was attending JK. Parham E. was a little fluffy teddy bear who was always doing the baby talk! He was so cuddly and cute. He was a pale white Jewish boy. Kamran A. was the lampoon of the class, he looked like a thug but deep inside, he was a teddy bear. Bahman R. was a blonde boy who was taller than me! Need I say more?
I have already talked about Shahram S. and his crystal ring for Roya. I have also talked about Bijan K. and his lust for Ladan. I believe Bijan was Zoroastrian.
Then there was Kayhan S. and he was the “A” Student of the class (Khar Khun). He wasn’t a genius but he was studying a lot (according to himself). Whatever he was doing, it was working. He was great in math and I deeply hated math. I was always copying the math problems’ solutions from him because they were due at the beginning of the class. Kayhan had no problem forking over the answers and sharing them with me and a few other beefy girls! Kayhan was a medium height, stocky boy. He had a wide face and forehead. He was a quiet type; he was a slow mover and a slow talker. Kayhan was such a gentle and decent guy that he would never even disagree with you on anything. Kayhan was so great in math that I thought one day he would become a rocket scientist; however, later on I heard something about Kayhan becoming a lawyer! I hope he didn’t become an ambulance chaser (typical L.A. Persian lawyer)!
Khashayar R. was a friend (through family gatherings) and he was also a schoolmate. We were not in the same class and we were not bus-mates (he was older) but we saw each other around the school and in parties. His dad was a General and a relative of Pishvai. Khashayar had an older juicy sister which was also a few years older than me; however, this did not avoid me to attempt having an affair with her. Her name was Lida R. and she was a healthy girl (if you know what I mean)! Lida was also a friend of one of my older half German cousins (half of my family are German), so a few times when my cousin’s family came to visit and stay with us, Lida also tagged along and spent a few nights at our house. In fact girls (my cousin and Lida) slept in my room. I had 3 beds in my room (my room was huge). So picture Lida spending a few nights not just in our house but in my room! Possibilities were endless and I am not going to details of the things that I have done to her, but let’s just say that it was a great experience with an older girl! Even though there was no intercourse involved, but everything else was involved! This brief affair started pretty good but got nowhere! For some reason I was always too lazy to keep up and keep in touch with people. If it was not convenient (being in the same school), then I would not bother keeping contact. This is not a good characteristic but unfortunately I had this characteristic all throughout my life!
Amir P. (Pishvai’s son) and his little sister were not classmates, but as long as they lived in JK (Pishvai’s house was located in JK) and as long as we had family contacts going to each other’s homes, then I must also mention him as a schoolmate.
School Bus Stories
JK had school buses. There were some old VW Minibuses (microbuses) and some new Mercedes Benz Minibuses. We had a Mercedes Benz for our rout. School Bus friends were no less than classmates. Imagine riding with the same crew 2 times a day (morning and evening) for 6 days a week (In Iran there are 6 working or studying days) and at least for a year or more. Eventually there would be a bond formed in between the bus-mates.
When the 6th graders existed (old period), they always undermined us, but once they were out of the picture, then we had become the older kids, the seniors and rulers of JK. One of the benefits of being the seniors was to own the long back seat and the two side back seats all the way at the back of the bus (in front of the long back seat, one on the left and one on the right). These seats were priced as gold! It was known and understood that the total of the 3 back seats of the bus belonged to us. Sometimes some bold brat would go and sit on one of them (knowingly or unknowingly) but right away we would kick the contender to the throne, out and away from the back seats and towards the front or middle of the bus!
Eventually the 3 back seats of the bus had become our property. I was always sitting right in the middle (but sometimes on the right inner side of the long seat all the way at the back of the bus. As usual there were girls all around me. For some bizarre reason all of my close friends (except Afshin) were women. This characteristic has continued until the present day. I always get along better with women. All throughout college years, most of my roommates were girls. I always lived with 2 girls. Even after school when I entered the work market, I always lived with 2 girls. Mostly I have always shared a house with 2 women. This is because I always hated living in apartments (I love gardens and gardening, also the privacy of a house), so I preferred living in houses and sharing them with 2 ladies.
Girls make better roommates because they are often cleaner than guys. Most men are pigs and slobs!
At the back of the bus, you could always find me sitting in the middle, Setareh S. on my right and Helen N. on my left. Setareh was a tall and healthy girl with big bones and a short haircut. Her breasts were pretty big for her age. She was a gentle giant and a major gossip columnist reporting everything from around the school to me. Later on she was either a classmate or an associate of Vida I., so she could report Vida’s latest news to me. Helen N. was a character. She was a little girl. I could bounce her up and down like a rubber ball! She was a red head (or light brown) with brown (or green eyes). She had a medium white skin and a well built body. Setareh was a passive mellow giant but Helen was a little lioness. Little by little Helen started to develop a clinging attachment towards me. Eventually Helen started behaving as if she possessed me and I was her personal property. Helen was over protective, possessive and obsessed. Eventually Helen formed an understanding with Setareh to share me and my friendship; however, anyone else who dared to enter this circle was ripped from limb to limbs by Helen.
Gilda F. was a flirtatious temptress who was in a class below us. She was a white brunette with a big smile and a very short dress. With one hundred and one excuses, Gilda tried to enter this circle. She was standing in front of me and then when the bus would break, she was fake dropping herself into my arms or on my lap so I could catch her fall, she was lifting up her dress to show me her great number of accidental bruises on her thighs achieved by being clumsy. She wanted me to observe them and verbally or physically cure them! She was constantly touching and feeling herself in front of me and making moaning sounds. She was pressing her breasts together and trying hard to show cleavage to me. I don’t recall on how many times she actually bent over to pick up a pen or something else from the bus floor while her mini dress slipped way above her buttocks and her perfectly round butt and white underwear were stuck right in my face! Then she would come over with all types of questions about school work all the way to the school history! Anyway you would cut it, Gilda was making a move to shove herself in this circle and possibly in to my arms!
Finally Helen blew a head gasket! Gilda with her flirtatious behavior had finally pushed Helen beyond the point of no return! Helen started by making rude remarks to her and then bad mouthing her, but Gilda was a willow in which she would take the criticism and nasty words by bending backwards but right after each blow she would shape up, straight up, stand up and come for more attention from me, even if this behavior would meant for Helen coming down on her like a thunder! Gilda was very flexible, she would never break down or lose her cool and she would cling like a leech! She would not take “No” for an answer.
In few occasions Helen had lost it and she practically used physical force to push this temptress away from me and our sacred circle! Helen cussed her out, pushed her away and become one step shorter than punching her in the nose! Helen’s roars were legendary! Helen was acting like a female lion who would keep a hyena away from her family by all means possible; however, Gilda was far from a hyena, she was more like a Sexy Fox with a well curved butt (fat tail)!
Helen was like the club doorman who would decide who can and who cannot enter the club! She did not act like a spouse but she acted in a way that she owned me! Finally Helen allowed a couple of other girls to join the circle but they were safe and well trained to obey her orders! Helen was behaving more like a military commander! Yet I have to admit that behind all that toughness, she was a poetic hopeless romantic.
Full or Empty?
The most popular game not just at the back of the bus but in the whole school was “Gol Ya Pooch” (Full or Empty) which was a game that one party would hide a little gum wrapper foil (or any other little object) in one of her fists behind her back and then she would bring both closed fists forward to the other party, so the other party would select in which fist is the wrapper. Then she had to open both fists and show. Someone would win and someone would lose. The winner would keep on doing the hiding behind her back until the other party would win and then they would switch.
Now you may ask why this silly childish game was so popular in JK? It wasn’t the game which was popular but it was the gambling on the game which was popular. It wasn’t gambling for money, who could have afford it? We were gambling with gum wrappers (like prisoners gamble for cigarettes)!
Back in those days “Khorus Neshan” (Rooster Brand) Bubble Gums or Chewing Gums were very popular. We have created our own currency out of these gum wrappers. The chewing gum wrapper (gray) was 1 Tooman. The bubble gum wrappers (flat bubble gums) in various colors were 2, 5, 10, and 20 Toomans. Tooman is the Iranian currency, so we created our own Toomans. Suddenly everyone would rush the corner peddlers and corner stores to purchase Rooster Brand gums! The Khorus Neshan Gum Wrappers had become actual currency and they were gambled with. The “Full or Empty” Gambling had become an overnight sensation and it was played in every single bus (afterschool) and even in the yard (during intermissions and lunch hours)!
Khorus Neshan (Rooster Brand) Chewing Gum and Bubble Gum Company
We used the wrappers as currency for gambling on “Gol Ya Pooch” (Full or Empty) game.
Now back to our story,
More Bus Stories
When we were not gossiping at the back of the bus, we were playing “Full or Empty”! Some heavy gambling was going on at the back of the bus!
Shahnaz V. (Stinky Shahnaz) and her little sister were also sitting in the middle of the bus and the same as inside the classroom, no one dared to sit next to them! Poor students had to not only smell her feet in the classroom but also in the bus! What a nightmare! Roya M. was a blonde white chubby girl who also used to sit with us and eventually had Helen’s approval to enter our circle. My little cousin Nadia was also riding along with us in the bus.
Kuymars N. was Helen’s little brother who was sitting at the front of the bus or sometimes in the middle. He was a little rascal and you could see the little devil in his eyes! He was a cool kid. I believe Helen also had a little sister who was younger than Kuymars. She was in the Kindergarten with Nadia my cousin. Amongst the other kids who were riding the same bus were Afshin E. who reminded me of Alexander the Great (because of his last name’s similarity), Shahram K. who was also in my class, Abdolhossein B. who was a black boy with an afro from province of Bushehr in southern Iran (Persian Gulf Shores). He was a good boy (yes, we have all types of races in Iran, even blacks and orientals).
Have in mind that a year earlier we were not the seniors because the 6th graders were rulers of the school and the bus! They were the “Dinosaurs” because they were the last of their kind (old period). Amongst these big kids were Atusa E. (Afshin E.’s big sister), Roshanak R. (who was a dark lively girl), Sharareh K. (Shahram K.’s hot big sister) and Fariba S. who were all riding our bus.
None of these girls made an impression on me more than Fariba S. This girl was tall, voluptuous and curvy in all the right places. She had far away eyes and she always looked like she was staring at a distant horizon! She had long dirty blonde hair, hazel (or green) eyes, milky white skin and very juicy and beefy long legs. She was wearing her dress so short that when sitting on the left corner of the back seat of the bus, her dress line would lift all the way near her shorts! Sometimes when she opened her legs, you could see her shorts! This girl was sizzling hot and I always wanted to start a thing going on with her. She was an older girl and I never ended up hooking up with her because she moved out of JK before I actually had a chance to sweet talk myself in to her heart! I’m telling you, I continued having wet dreams about this girl (even in Junior High and way after I had left JK).
Jahanshah P. was also an older boy (relative of Pishvai, I believe his nephew) who was riding our bus.
Amongst all the kids in the bus, no one came close to Helen. Simply because Helen was not just another bus-mate or school-mate, but she was much more than that. Helen turned out to become a good friend. This would bring me to my next section about:
Helen of Troy? No, Helen of JK!
I believe Helen really cared for me. It was not just school friendship and infatuation, but she was truly a friend. Let me tell you a story. After the elementary school, I got out of JK and I believe she remained in JK; however, she kept contact.
One summer, I was on top of a wheeled bed, changing my clothes next to the wall size window (one wall of our complete house in all floors was made of glass and naturally one wall of my room was glass window), the wheeled bed slipped backwards and I slipped forward and dove thorough the wall size window in to the balcony. If it wasn’t because of my Doberman Pinscher catching my fall, I would have hit the fence with my head and die. My dog saved my life. That was my first near death experience. For more of my near death experiences, read:
Racing with the Death!
Near Death Experience – American River
Now why on earth was I standing on top a wheeled bed, next to the window and getting naked, you asked? Because I was showing off my body to the neighbor’s girl who was watching me from her window!
So to make the long story short, I have spent the complete summer in the hospital and in bed at home! I had a great number of stitches and needed rest. The only JK friend who came to visit me was Helen! Now that tells me something! As my mother told me,
Mother: Helen must be your only true friend from JK. She is the only one who bothered to come and visit you, even after you moved out of JK!
Mother was correct. Helen was a decent emotional girl with a sense of loyalty and friendship beyond school walls. We kept in touch for a while, but due to separate schools, eventually we had lost touch.
If I am not mistaking, her dad was an Imperial Court Chauffeur. This meant that he was driving various courthouse royalty and personnel around in limousines and luxury automobiles. This also means that her dad must have had high security clearance.
Helen was a sweet girl and the last of the JK friends who continued contact for a short while thorough the junior high. But I had to move on …… Continued on next page.
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