50 (Hajv-e Panjah)
Az Divan-e Hajviyat-e Baba Ahreeman-e Oriyan
Ahreeman X
Written: December 12, 2005
Revised and Republished: August 16, 2007
Warning!
This
poem is R Rated
50
(Ahreeman's Book of Silly Poetry)!
50 (Hajv az Divan-e Hajviyat-e Dr. X)!
*
Pious Muslim or Muslimette please cover your eyes!
*
Teens 13 to 19 years of age, even though you know this stuff
better than your parents, but just for the show, go and please
get permission from your parents to read this!
*
Pre Teens 10 to 12 years of age, go pick up a copy of Play
Boy Magazine and come back in a year or two!
*
Children under 10 years old, what the hell are you doing in
IPC? Get out and go play Ye Qol Do Qol, Joftak Char-gush, Pin
the Javalduz on Donkey's butt or for those kids inside Iran, go
play the new game of "Pasdars and Students" where Pasdars
crack the students' heads wide open! So shoo shoo get out of IPC,
get lost kidos, come back in a few years!
50
"Hajv-e Panjah"
Az Divan-e Hajviyat-e Baba Ahreeman-e Oriyan
Persians,
Friends, Activists and Comrades:
When you
hit 50, you can't do the things you used to do when you were 18!
I wanted to
give you a Mid Summer (Mid Winter in Southern Hemisphere) present,
so you know that I was especially thinking of every single one
of you. This poem is in Persian, so some of yous who do not read
Persian, then for God's sake, go and learn the Damn International
Language of Persian, because in the past we ruled the world and
in the future, once again we will rule the world, so you will
be in need of learning Persian! What did you say? You don't speak
Persian? Well, then suffer until you learn Persian, cause you
surely will miss this one! Sorry but to give the full meaning
of the issue, I had to write this one in Persian. Have a nice
Summer. And always remember that:
Who loves
you baby?
Ahreeman indeed!
Who else?!
Now go ahead
and knock yourselves out:
Please read
with 6/8 Persian Disco Rhythm.
One, Two,
Three ........
* * *
Daq-e Daq,
Makhsus-e Tabestan-e Garm O Tulani!
Rofaqa:
Khob dobare
berim soraq-e,
Divan-e Hajviyat-e Ahreeman!
Khajeh Ahreeman-e Oriyan-e Lokht O Pati
In yeki ro makhsus vase shoma sakhtam!
Lotfan ba ritm-e 6/8 Disco Irani bekhunid!
Are Haji, dud az konde boland mishe!
Khob hazerin? Berim?
Hala hame savar shin, Khat-e shish dige nabud?
Haji ye takun, Haji do takun,
Raftim Baba!
Khob hala hame ba ham dam begirin, biyayn, ....... yek, do, se:
* * *
50 (Hajv-e Panjah)!
Vaqti
residi be panjah,
Feshar miyad be chand ja!
Baba
begin Ey Vallah,
Haji, vaqti residi be panjah,
Feshar miyad be chand ja!
Vaqti
residi be panjah,
Feshar miyad be gardan,
Quzi nashi Haj Bahman!
Vaqti
residi be panjah,
Feshar miyad be shune,
Vazneh nazan divuneh!
Vaqti
residi be panjah,
Feshar miyad be pahlu,
Dard migire Abarqu!
Vaqti
residi be panjah,
Feshar miyad be dande,
Dard migire mahiche!
Vaqti
residi be panjah,
Feshar miyad be limu,
Beshin ba asa ye pahlu!
Vaqti
residi be panjah,
Feshar miyad be me'de,
Rudel nakon Zobeyde!
Vaqti
residi be panjah,
Feshar miyad be rude,
Taraq o Turuq guzide!
Vaqti
residi be panjah,
Feshar miyad be arenj,
Az kar miyofte narenj!
Vaqti
residi be panjah,
Feshar miyad be zanu,
Posht mikoni be banu!
Vaqti
residi be panjah,
Feshar miyad posht kamar,
Kamari mishi jun-e Qamar!
Vaqti
residi be panjah,
Feshar miyad be boqche,
Az kar miyofte mokhche!
Vaqti
residi be panjah,
Goshad mishe aqab ja,
Bad mikone beyzeha!
Vaqti
residi be panjah,
Feshar miyad be beyze,
Az kar miyofte neyze!
Vaqti
residi be panjah,
Feshar miyad be khaye,
Bad mikone sarmayeh!
Vaqti
residi be panjah,
Dar ja bezan Besmellah,
Shikamo bezan, Ey Vallah!
Vaqti
residi be panjah,
Feshar miyad be basan,
Goshad mishe, pat o pahn!
Vaqti
residi be panjah,
Feshar miyad be makhraj,
Zur mizani ba boqranj!
Vaqti
residi be panjah,
Feshar miyad be heykal,
Dollah mishi Haj Feysal!
Are
Aqa jun Yadollah,
In bude dastan-e ma,
Bezan dande do Haj Aqa!
Dam
begirin bacheha,
Vaqti residi be panjah,
Feshar miyad be chand ja!
Begi
nagi Ey Vallah,
Shikamo bezan Haj Aqa,
Kamari nashi, Ya Allah!
Hame
begin Mashallah,
Baba Vaqti residi be panjah,
Feshar miyad be chand ja!
Vaqti
residi be panjah,
Feshar miyad be chand ja!
* * *
Ahreeman
Mirza-ye Qajar
December 12, 2005
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