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Hajv-e 50
 

50 (Hajv-e Panjah)
Az Divan-e Hajviyat-e Baba Ahreeman-e Oriyan
Ahreeman X
Written: December 12, 2005
Revised and Republished: August 16, 2007

Warning!
This poem is R Rated

50 (Ahreeman's Book of Satirical Poetry)!
50 (Hajv az Divan-e Hajviyat-e Dr. X)!

* Pious Muslim or Muslimette please cover your eyes!

* Teens 13 to 19 years of age, even though you know this stuff better than your parents, but just for the show, go and please get permission from your parents to read this!

* Pre Teens 10 to 12 years of age, go pick up a copy of Play Boy Magazine and come back in a year or two!

* Children under 10 years old, what the hell are you doing in IPC? Get out and go play Ye Qol Do Qol, Joftak Char-gush, Pin the Javalduz on Donkey's butt or for those kids inside Iran, go play the new game of "Pasdars and Students" where Pasdars crack the students' heads wide open! So shoo shoo get out of IPC, get lost kidos, come back in a few years!

50
"Hajv-e Panjah"
Az Divan-e Hajviyat-e Baba Ahreeman-e Oriyan

Persians, Friends, Activists and Comrades:

When you hit 50, you can't do the things you used to do when you were 18!

I wanted to give you a Mid Summer (Mid Winter in Southern Hemisphere) present, so you know that I was especially thinking of every single one of you. This poem is in Persian, so some of yous who do not read Persian, then for God's sake, go and learn the Damn International Language of Persian, because in the past we ruled the world and in the future, once again we will rule the world, so you will be in need of learning Persian! What did you say? You don't speak Persian? Well, then suffer until you learn Persian, cause you surely will miss this one! Sorry but to give the full meaning of the issue, I had to write this one in Persian. Have a nice Summer. And always remember that:

Who loves you baby?
Ahreeman indeed!
Who else?!

Now go ahead and knock yourselves out:

Please read with 6/8 Persian Disco Rhythm.

One, Two, Three ........

* * *

Daq-e Daq, Makhsus-e Tabestan-e Garm O Tulani!


Rofaqa:

Khob dobare berim soraq-e,
Divan-e Hajviyat-e Ahreeman!
Khajeh Ahreeman-e Oriyan-e Lokht O Pati
In yeki ro makhsus vase shoma sakhtam!
Lotfan ba ritm-e 6/8 Disco Irani bekhunid!
Are Haji, dud az konde boland mishe!
Khob hazerin? Berim?
Hala hame savar shin, Khat-e shish dige nabud?
Haji ye takun, Haji do takun,
Raftim Baba!
Khob hala hame ba ham dam begirin, biyayn, ....... yek, do, se:

* * *

50 (Hajv-e Panjah)!

Vaqti residi be panjah,
Feshar miyad be chand ja!

Baba begin Ey Vallah,
Haji, vaqti residi be panjah,
Feshar miyad be chand ja!

Vaqti residi be panjah,
Feshar miyad be gardan,
Quzi nashi Haj Bahman!

Vaqti residi be panjah,
Feshar miyad be shune,
Vazneh nazan divuneh!

Vaqti residi be panjah,
Feshar miyad be pahlu,
Dard migire Abarqu!

Vaqti residi be panjah,
Feshar miyad be dande,
Dard migire mahiche!

Vaqti residi be panjah,
Feshar miyad be limu,
Beshin ba asa ye pahlu!

Vaqti residi be panjah,
Feshar miyad be me'de,
Rudel nakon Zobeyde!

Vaqti residi be panjah,
Feshar miyad be rude,
Taraq o Turuq guzide!

Vaqti residi be panjah,
Feshar miyad be arenj,
Az kar miyofte narenj!

Vaqti residi be panjah,
Feshar miyad be zanu,
Posht mikoni be banu!

Vaqti residi be panjah,
Feshar miyad posht kamar,
Kamari mishi jun-e Qamar!

Vaqti residi be panjah,
Feshar miyad be boqche,
Az kar miyofte mokhche!

Vaqti residi be panjah,
Goshad mishe aqab ja,
Bad mikone beyzeha!

Vaqti residi be panjah,
Feshar miyad be beyze,
Az kar miyofte neyze!

Vaqti residi be panjah,
Feshar miyad be khaye,
Bad mikone sarmayeh!

Vaqti residi be panjah,
Dar ja bezan Besmellah,
Shikamo bezan, Ey Vallah!

Vaqti residi be panjah,
Feshar miyad be basan,
Goshad mishe, pat o pahn!

Vaqti residi be panjah,
Feshar miyad be makhraj,
Zur mizani ba boqranj!

Vaqti residi be panjah,
Feshar miyad be heykal,
Dollah mishi Haj Feysal!

Are Aqa jun Yadollah,
In bude dastan-e ma,
Bezan dande do Haj Aqa!

Dam begirin bacheha,
Vaqti residi be panjah,
Feshar miyad be chand ja!

Begi nagi Ey Vallah,
Shikamo bezan Haj Aqa,
Kamari nashi, Ya Allah!

Hame begin Mashallah,
Baba Vaqti residi be panjah,
Feshar miyad be chand ja!

Vaqti residi be panjah,
Feshar miyad be chand ja!

* * *


Ahreeman Mirza-ye Qajar
December 12, 2005

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