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Chinese in 5 Minutes
Persian Style Humor


Chinese in 5 Minutes (Persian Style)!
Ahreeman X

1st Edition: June 3, 2007
2nd Edition: January 25, 2017

Have You Ever Wanted to Learn Chinese but you found it very difficult to learn and you did not have time to study it? Well now there is a quick way to learn Chinese in only 5 Minutes, Ahreemanic Style! Our method is approved by Mr. Xi Jinping the present Chinese President and taught by Mr. Hu Jintao the Ex President of China! Are you ready to learn Chinese in 5 minutes? Well, let’s roll:

Hu Jintao: Madam Secretary I always wanted a Chocolate Bunny! I likes your shins. Ooh your hands so smooth, me so horny! C'mon Condy, Hu Yo Daddy baby?
Condoleezza Rice: Oh Hu I didn't know you're such a charmer! So Hu's on first?

Hu Jintao: Hello boys and girls, I am President Hu Jintao of the People's Republic of China. I am going to be your Chinese instructor for this course! Hu Yo Daddy?

Panda Poo: Donna lie Hu, Donna Lie! Poo Bear the Chinese Panda at your service. I will be your instructor!

Confucius: Boys stop fighting, not to worry, I will be the instructor. Are you ready boys and girls? We are going to begin now.

Mr. Wang: I see
Mr. Dang: I saw
Mr. Shitsu: Me so horney!

Confucius: May the wisdom be with you …

Please read the Chinese Terms with Chinese Accent!

[English Equivalent = Chinese Term]

He is a bird watcher = Fak Yong Duck

Fat bottom girl = Kun Chun Tank

Qazvini Delight = Fak Yong Boi

Statutory Rape = Bang Dat Child

Idiot = Shit Fo Brain

Nice Chinese piece of ass! = Fak Dat Gook

I'm stuck here! = Fak A Duck

Oral Pleasure = It Me

Intercourse = Boom Boom

Anal Sex = Bun Bun

Oral Sex = Yum Yum

Big Cock = Wang Dang!

A Quickie = Wham Bam!

I like Little girls = Got Yong Ho?

I like little boys = Got Yong Boi?

You are a pervert! = Sik Fak!

Voluptuous woman = Fat Fak

I have an erection = Ma Dik Long!

Would you like to have sex? = Wa Na Fak?

Would you give me a blow Job? = Wa Na Yum Yum?

Would you give me a hand job? = Wa Na Suck Dasti?

Would you give me a foot job? = Toe Rub?

He was too big! = Kun Pa Re!

Nice Sexy Site! = Jerk Of Nau!

Masturbation = Suck Dasti

She likes Anal = Kun Pow Chicken

Gay Boy = Boi Toi

Sissy Boy = Fun Dool

Shemale = Chick With Dick

Huge cock = Bu Qu Long!

Stupid American! = Dum Red Neck!

Horrible Sex Partner = Bad Lay

Nasty Prostitute = Cheap Lay

Now I understand = Ai Si Nau

Romantic sky tonight = Mun So Brait

Let's get out of here! = Fa Kin Run

Look at that Porsche! = Big Boi Toi

I'm so horny! = Ma Dik Big!

Microsoft Sucks = Fa Kin Com Pu Da!

Isn't it too cold to pee outdoor? = Wai Ju Ding So Tai Ni?

Dildo = Fun Toi

Butt Plug = Bum Toi

Sperm = Dik Cheez

Yeast Infection = Poon Cheez

Ex Wife = Fa Kin Sour

New Wife = Nu Joi

Baby Jesus = Ho Li Boi

Give me the money? = Pei Nau

See me A.S.A.P. = Cum Hia Nao

This has to look like an accident! = Hit Mai Ai

Stupid Man = Dum Gai

Small Horse = Tai Ni Po Ni

Your price is too high! = No Bai Dat Ting!

Did you go to the beach? = Wai Yu So Tan?

I bumped into a coffee table = Ai Bang Mai Ni

I think you need a facelift = Chin Tu Fat

I absolutely agree! = No Daut!

Dog Shit under my shoe = Stin Kin Pu

Annoying boy = Hit Dat Boi

Feminist = Shoot Dat Ho

My friend is a homo = Hee Gay

Early orgasm = Cum Tu Sun

Are you horny? = Yu Hard Dik?

You are so stupid! = Fak Ju

You get high too! = Ju Tu Hi

I got something in my eye! = Aut Mai Ai

It's very dark in here = Wai So Dim?

Has your flight been delayed? = Hao Long Wei Ting?

That was an unauthorized execution = Lin Ching

I thought you were on a diet = Wai Yu Mun Ching?

This is a tow away zone. = No Pah King

Do you know the lyrics to the Lambada? = Wai Yu Sing Dum Song?

You are not very bright = Yu So Dum

I got this for free = Ai No Pay

I am not guilty = Wai Hang Mi?

Please, stay a while longer = Wai Go Nao?

Why not get comfortable? = Wai No Lai?

Our meeting was scheduled for next week. = Wai Yu Cum Nao

They have arrived = Hia Dey Cum

Stay out of sight = Lei Lo

He's cleaning his automobile = Wa Shing Ka

Your body odor is offensive = Yu Stin Ki

Pew! does this bathroom stink! = Hu Flung Dung?

That's not right! = Sum Ting Wong

Are you harboring a fugitive? = Hu Yu Hi Ding?

Stupid man = Dum Fak

Great = Fa Kin Su Pa

Economically Challenged = Fa Kin Pu

Mustache = Fu Man Chu

Beard = Go Ti

Jerking Off = Joy Joy

Blow Job = Bee Jay

Racist = Bee Got

Gay = Fa Got

S&M Dominatrix = Sik Got

Mature Woman = Old Got

Butch Girl = Ag Lee Dyke

Lesbian Sex = Bang No Dick!

Lesbian = She Yum Poon

Transsexual = AC DC

Dickless man = Hao Yu Fak?

Small man = Wer Yo Dik?

Transvestite = Wat Da Fak!

Transgender = He O She?

Religion = Bo Shit!

God = No Show!

Jesus = Con Ar Tist

Moses = Chip Jew

Muhammad = Big Dik Man 21 Wife!

Bukkake = Kong Pow Soup

You are big boned! = Yu Fat Ass!

Veterinarian = Doc Dool Little

Fat Buttocks Woman = Kun Tapeh

Son of a bitch = Fa Kin Gai

Blow Me! = Chow Mine!

Bite Me! = Chew Mine!

Mao Tse-tung was a brave man = Mao Big Balls

I indulge sheep balls = Me Suck Balls

Give me a long blow job = Chew Me Long

Joe is a Homosexual = Joe Suck Dik

She is a sexy girl = Sweet Poon Tang!

In South they do Bestiality = Bang Dat Cow

Would you like a Call girl? = Bang Dat Ho?

Would you lick my …? = Sucki Sucki?

Give me my money? = Dalla Dalla (Dollar Dollar)?

Hu is the Chinese President = Hu China Boss

You have large breasts = Hoo Ta Big (Hooter Big)!

He is not Chinese = Dum Jap!

Do you do oral sex? = Ju Suck?

Viagra = Joy Toi

Speedos Swim Suit = Dik Choke

Very Happy = Jump Joi

Mentally Challenged = Fa Kin Ritard

Black Man = Fa Kin Big!

Tibetan Separatist = Fa Kin Gai!

Taiwanese Separatist = Funny Gai!

Hong Kong Separatist = Dead Gai!

Chinese Student Movement = Dog Chow!

Thai Whore = Mai Tai

Capitalism = New Toi

Communism = Old Toi

Stock Market = Bingo

Dog Delicacy = Shit Su Chow

Muscular Man = Mon Golian Beef

Ugly Woman = Bow Bow

Skinny woman = Chop Stick

Susan is an axe murderer! = Chop Suey

Arranged Marriage = Fortune Cookie!

K Y Jelly = Lube Joy

Vietnamese Music = Sik Dog Sing

Suicide Bomber = Fa Kin Nuts

Chinese Economic Exports = Bang Yan Kee

China Doll = Boom Box!

Pretty Young Chinese Girl = Moo Shoo Chicken

May Confucius Grant You Big Balls!

Dr. X

Confucius: One who knows the difference between Shiite and Shingle, will find the eternal enlightenment!

China Boy: Happy Chinese New Year

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