Chinese in 5 Minutes (Persian Style)!
Ahreeman X
June 3, 2007

Hu Jintao: Madam Secretary I always wanted a Chocolate Bunny! I likes your shins. Ooh your hands so smooth, me so horny! C'mon Condy, Hu Yo Daddy baby?
Condoleezza Rice: Oh Hu I didn't know you're such a charmer! So Hu's on first?

Hu Jintao: Hello boys and girls, I am President Hu Jintao of the People's Republic of China. I am going to be your Chinese instructor for this course! Hu Yo Daddy?

Panda Poo: Donna lie Hu, Donna Lie! Poo Bear the Chinese Panda at your service. I will be your instructor!

Confucius: Boys stop fighting, not to worry, I will be the instructor. Are you ready boys and girls? We are going to begin now.


Mr. Wang: I see
Mr. Dang: I saw
Mr. Shitsu: Me so horney!

Confucius: May the wisdom be with you …

Please read the Chinese Terms with Chinese Accent!

[English Equivalent = Chinese Term]

He is a bird watcher = Fak Yong Duck

Fat bottom girl = Kun Chun Tank

Qazvini Delight = Fak Yong Boi

Statutory Rape = Bang Dat Child

Idiot = Shit Fo Brain

Nice Chinese piece of ass! = Fak Dat Gook

I'm stuck here! = Fak A Duck

Intercourse = Boom Boom

Anal Sex = Bun Bun

Oral Sex = Yum Yum

Big Cock = Wang Dang!

A Quickie = Wham Bam!

I like Little girls = Got Yong Ho?

I like little boys = Got Yong Boi?

You are a pervert! = Sik Fak!

Voluptuous woman = Fat Fak

I have an erection = Ma Dik Long!

Would you like to have sex? = Wa Na Fak?

Would you give me a blow Job? = Wa Na Yum Yum?

Would you give me a hand job? = Wa Na Suck Dasti?

He was too big! = Kun Pa Re!

Nice Sexy Site! = Jerk Of Nau!

Masturbation = Suck Dasti

She likes Anal = Kun Pow Chicken

Gay Boy = Boi Toi

Shemale = Chick With Dick

Huge cock = Bu Qu Long!

Stupid American! = Dum Red Neck!

Horrible Sex Partner = Bad Lay

Nasty Prostitute = Cheap Lay

Now I understand = Ai Si Nau

Romantic sky tonight = Mun So Brait

Let's get out of here! = Fa Kin Run

Look at that Porsche! = Big Boi Toi

I'm so horny! = Ma Dik Big!

Microsoft Sucks = Fa Kin Com Pu Da!

Isn't it too cold to pee outdoor? = Wai Ju Ding So Tai Ni?

Dildo = Fun Toi

Butt Plug = Bum Toi

Sperm = Dik Cheez

Ex Wife = Fa Kin Sour

Baby Jesus = Ho Li Boi

Give me the money? = Pei Nau

See me A.S.A.P. = Cum Hia Nao

This has to look like an accident! = Hit Mai Ai

Stupid Man = Dum Gai

Small Horse = Tai Ni Po Ni

Your price is too high! = No Bai Dat Ting!

Did you go to the beach? = Wai Yu So Tan?

I bumped into a coffee table = Ai Bang Mai Ni

I think you need a facelift = Chin Tu Fat

I absolutely agree! = No Daut!

Dog Shit under my shoe = Stin Kin Pu

Annoying boy = Hit Dat Boi

My friend is a homo = Hee Gay

Early orgasm = Cum Tu Sun

Are you horny? = Yu Hard Dik?

You are so stupid! = Fak Ju

You get high too! = Ju Tu Hi

I got something in my eye! = Aut Mai Ai

It's very dark in here = Wai So Dim?

Has your flight been delayed? = Hao Long Wei Ting?

That was an unauthorized execution = Lin Ching

I thought you were on a diet = Wai Yu Mun Ching?

This is a tow away zone. = No Pah King

Do you know the lyrics to the Lambada? = Wai Yu Sing Dum Song?

You are not very bright = Yu So Dum

I got this for free = Ai No Pay

I am not guilty = Wai Hang Mi?

Please, stay a while longer = Wai Go Nao?

Our meeting was scheduled for next week. = Wai Yu Cum Nao

They have arrived = Hia Dey Cum

Stay out of sight = Lei Lo

He's cleaning his automobile = Wa Shing Ka

Your body odor is offensive = Yu Stin Ki

Pew! does this bathroom stink! = Hu Flung Dung?

That's not right! = Sum Ting Wong

Are you harboring a fugitive? = Hu Yu Hi Ding?

Stupid man = Dum Fak

Great = Fa Kin Su Pa

You are big boned! = Yu Fat Ass!

Mustache = Fu Man Chu

Beard = Go Ti

Jerking Off = Joy Joy

Blow Job = Bee Jay

Racist = Bee Got

Gay = Fa Got

Butch Girl = Ag Lee Dyke

Lesbian Sex = Bang No Dick!

Lesbian = She Yum Poon

Transsexual = AC DC

Dickless man = Hao Yu Fak?

Small man = Wer Yo Dik?

Transvestite = Wat Da Fak!

Transgender = He O She?

Religion = Bo Shit!

God = No Show!

Jesus = Con Ar Tist

Mohammed = Big Dik Man 21 Wife!

Bukkake = Kong Pow Soup

Veterinarian = Doc Dool Little

Fat Buttocks Woman = Kun Tapeh

Son of a bitch = Fa Kin Gai

Blow Me! = Chow Mine!

Bite Me! = Chew Mine!

Mao Tse-tung was a brave man = Mao Big Balls

I indulge sheep balls = Me Suck Balls

Give me a long blow job = Chew Me Long

Joe is a Homosexual = Joe Suck Dik

She is a sexy girl = Sweet Poon Tang!

In South they do Bestiality = Bang Dat Cow

Would you like a Call girl? = Bang Dat Ho?

Would you lick my …? = Sucki Sucki?

Give me my money? = Dalla Dalla (Dollar Dollar)?

Hu is the Chinese President = Hu China Boss

You have large breasts = Hoo Ta Big (Hooter Big)!

He is not Chinese = Dum Jap!

Do you do oral sex? = Ju Suck?

Viagra = Joy Toi

Speedos Swim Suit = Dik Choke

Mentally Challenged = Fa Kin Ritard

Black Man = Fa Kin Big!

Tibetan Separatist = Fa Kin Gai!

Taiwanese Separatist = Funny Gai!

Hong Kong Separatist = Dead Gai!

Chinese Student Movement = Dog Chow!

Thai Whore = Mai Tai

Capitalism = New Toi

Stock Market = Bingo

Dog Delicacy = Shit Su Chow

Muscular Man = Mon Golian Beef

Ugly Woman = Bow Bow

Skinny woman = Chop Stick

Susan is an axe murderer! = Chop Suey

Arranged Marriage = Fortune Cookie!

K Y Jelly = Lube Joy

Vietnamese Music = Sik Dog Sing

Suicide Bomber = Fa Kin Nuts

Chinese Economic Exports = Bang Yan Kee

China Doll = Boom Box!

Pretty Young Chinese Girl = Moo Shoo Chicken

May Confucius Grant You Big Balls!

Dr. X

Confucius: One who knows the difference between Shiite and Shingle, will find the eternal enlightenment!



China Boy: Happy Chinese New Year