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Politically Incorrect Term for an Iranian!
Ahreeman X
1st Edition: July 29, 2008
2nd Edition: August 14, 2017

Gorilla Finger: But seriously, what would be the proper “Politically Incorrect” name for an Iranian? I wonder, Hmmmmmmmm……?!


Have you noticed, in America every ethnic group has a politically incorrect term to be called by:

White Anglo-Saxon: Redneck, Trailer Trash, White Trash, Honkey, Cracker
Italian: Dago, Wop, Gumba, Spaghetti Head, Greaseball
Puertorican, Latino: Spic, Greaser, Grease Monkey
Mexican: Wet Back, Beaner, Pollo
Black: Nigger, Jungle Bunny, Coon, Negro, Mooli, Darkie, Nappy Hair, Liver Lip, Spade
Arab: Camel Jockey, Sand Nigger, Rag Head, Dune Coon, Towel Head
Indian Native American: Tanto, Red Skin, Savage, Casino Indian
Indian Asian: Curry Head, Marsala, Hindu, Banji, 7/11 Indian
Jew: Kike, Jew Bird, Heime, Matzo ball, Heeb
Japanese: Jap
Chinese: Chink
Vietnamese: Charlie, Gook
Korean: Pan Face
German: Kraut
Polish: Polock

But how come there is no Derogatory slang for Persians? What up?
This is where Dr. X comes to the rescue!

I gave it much thought and I have decided that it is only fair for Iranians to also share the goods and have their own politically incorrect term, after all,

Aren't we searching for equal rights in the Land of the Free and Home of the Brave (Demanding Eyes)?

Aren’t we aching to melt in the melting pot as the new big potatoes (Bright Eyes)?

Aren’t we also having the rights to share the American Dream (Googly Eyes)?!

So here it goes, ........ as long as we have very few camels in Iran and we don't wear Rags on the head unless a cleric and many people over there are white Aryans, then we can't really call an Iranian a Camel Jockey, Rag Head or Sand Nigger; however, we have plenty of Donkeys (Jack Ass) over there, damn, we have the world famous Persian Breed O Donkey over there and still, many people in small villages ride Donkeys, so why not call Iranians "Donkey Jockey" taken after the world famous Persian Donkeys?! In fact, a great number of our beloved population are Prime and Pure Full Breed Persian Donkeys, otherwise how else could they have seen Imam Khomeini's picture in the moon on 1978?!

For more on Iranology and Understanding Persians, read:

You Could be Persian, if ….

Iran is a great huge country with population of 70 million Persians residing inside and 6.5 million Persians residing outside Iran. Now this population consists of all types of species!

We have all types of population over there. We have:

Cattle (Sheep, Cows, etc.): Good Obedient Religious Shiite Muslim

Baboons: Young Shiite who follows every step of their elders! Monkey see, monkey do!

Chameleons: Who pray at the mosques in daytimes and party hardy with booze, opium and neighbor’s girls at night time!

Dancing Bears: Seasonal Muslim whom their belief in Allah comes and goes like my dad’s penile erection with or without Vitamin V (Viagra)!

Sheep Dogs: Who watch over the cattle: Pasdar, Basij, Dress Police, ….

Gorillas: Hezbollah whom are the heart and soul of our beautiful Islamic Republic! Violent apes with No Brains and All Faith, closest of all animals to Allah!

Hyenas: Clerics whom the Cattle follow as Marja’e Taqlid (Religious Gurus), such as Grand Ayatollahs, Ayatollahs and Hojatol Eslams

Foxes: Who fish from the muddy water, for instance the Intellectuals of the left whom sold out to IRI

Weasels: Mosadeqists or Members of Jebhe Meli Iran (Iran National Front) on top of the Opportunist Food Chain, who eat the bread by the daily price and switch political sides as they see fit to stay ahead of the game!

Koala Bears: Who love to live peaceful lives, lazing on the trees and not bothering with politics! They get rich off this regime, so why bother changing it?!

Coyote: Imam aka Velayat-e Faqih aka Spiritual Leader who frags the whole nation!

Humans: Oh yes, we also have some of those living in Iran!

And indeed the ever famous:

Donkey: The so-called Silent Majority. Your typical hard working Iranian with 2 or 3 jobs, working hard to make ends meat, too busy to make his family and himself to survive by hard work and too busy to rise up against the regime and revolt. Donkeys are good and decent hard working Persian animals, but little do they know that a Revolution and overthrow of Mullahs will improve their lifestyle!

Persian Donkey: Why are you laughing at me? Am I a subject for your amusement? Donkeys have feelings too! We are hard working animals! Hard working animals are closer to Allah! Just because Ahreeman, that bastard infidel with a loose tong, writes Bull Shiite on the Internet about us, it does not give you the rights to read them and laugh at us! Don’t make me back-kick your asses from here to Qom! I’m warning yous!

That’s right, so Persian human or donkey, wither riding on the donkey or giving a ride to the human, it’s a more suitable term for Iranians, and there you go, the neo derogatory term for an Iranian:

Iranian: Donkey Jockey

.... and there's your prayer!

The legendary and ever famous Persian Donkey Jockey!

I am glad to be of help to the American, Iranian and indeed the Iranian American population of the good old US of A!

I am certainly glad that I could be of a help to solve this huge issue and find a proper name, politically incorrect and slang derogatory remark for our dear Persians! Now go ahead and please document it in the dictionaries!

Bon appetite

Scholarly Regards,

Dr. X

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