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Eye-Rainian and Iranian – Persian Humor
Chapter 2: Eye-Rainian Redneck goes to Gun Club
Girls with Guns Photo Gallery included


Eye-Rainian and Iranian!
Chapter 2: Eye-Rainian Redneck goes to Gun Club
+ Girls with Guns Photo Gallery
True Tales from the Files of the Eye-Rainian Redneck!
From the Good Old Shooting Range Days ...
Ahreeman X
1st Edition: January 24, 2010
2nd Edition: November 6, 2014

NRA Cowgirl: National Rifle Association rules! Girls with Guns Rule!

Actual name of the country is Iran which is pronounced “Ee-Run” not “Eye-Rain” or “I-Ran” which are the redneck pronunciations of Iran!

Howdy Folks,

You have been waiting for years for this sequel. You asked for it, you were impatiently waiting for it, and now is the moment of truth! You wanted it and now you’ll get it!

Youall (now that’s Southern) remember the fabulous story from the X Diaries (my memoirs) and the net classic:

Eye-Rainian and Iranian

Well now get the first dibs on the sequel, “Eye-Rainian RedNeck goes to Gun Club!”

…. And here’s the rest of the story, Chapter Two:

Sex and Violence, that’s what I’m talking about! That’s what I love about America:
NFL Football, UFC Martial Arts, Boxing, Fast Bikes, Fast Cars and Big Girls with Big Guns!

Hello Kiddies ... gather around Poppa Ahreeman and let me tell you a little ditty about my latest trip to the gun club. They call me the Eye-Rainian RedNeck, and later on in the story, I will tell you why, but for the time being, allow me to continue with this true story from the Files of the Eye-Rainian RedNeck!

Rowdy Military Cowgirl: America’s Religion is not Judeo-Christianity!
America’s Religion is Sex and Violence, Skin and Guns!

By majority, Americans are politically in the Center but tilted to the Right. By nature, they are conservative and appreciate conservative values. They enjoy to have true conservatives in the political offices. To tell you the truth, I am glad that the Radical Left Wing of the Democratic Party is in power! Why you ask? Simply because the Dynamic Trio of Hussein Obama, Nancy Old Pussy and Dirty Harry Reid will Frag the economy, domestic and foreign policy and endanger the national security so bad that afterwards, at least for a decade, Americans will not even desire to put a liberal back in the White House or Congress!

Sun, Sea, Sweat and Guns, the California Dream!

Every time Conservatives in charge, abandon their core values, tilt from Fiscal Reagan Conservatism and become Moderate Conservatives (John McCain) or Globalist Conservatives (George W. Bush) and the same as liberals, become big government and big spending enthusiasts, then the Americans try something different and put Liberals in the White House and the Congress. Once the liberals take over the government, as usual, they go berserk on expanding the size of the government and they go on a spending spree. Next, they destroy the American economy, ruin the foreign policy, weaken the military and endanger the national security (Carter, Obama, etc.)! By the time a liberal administration is finished with America, the whole nation is basically screwed and the country is Fragged! The liberals destroy the country so bad that afterwards, for a decade, people will not elect anymore liberals and put them in charge!

Military Cowgirl: Sexy Girls and Big Guns, that’s what it’s all about!
Patriotism, Star Spangled Banner and Big Guns, Welcome to America!

Once every decade or two, Americans give a chance to the liberals but liberalism leaves such a bad aftertaste in Americans’ mouth that they regret ever electing these Bull Shiite Artists and putting them in the office! Liberals are a bunch of Know Nothing and Do Nothing Imbeciles with the vision of turning America to another Europe! Their role model is the Socialist Europe. Their goal is to social engineer America and switch it to a massive big government bureaucracy in charge of every aspect of citizens’ lives.

On the contrary, conservatism teaches us that Government is not the solution but it is the problem. Government must stay out of people’s lives. The Ideal Government must execute foreign policy and provide national security and freedoms for the people; therefore, the people can control and run every other aspects of the American society. Government must not have any other roles. Country must be run by the private sector.

Tex-Mex Cowgirl: Hot Salsa, Guns and Sweat, Ay Caramba! The Fiesta begins!
Let’s make it a Barn out there!

Conservatives believe in individualism, personal responsibility, individual liberty, limited government, free markets, traditional American values and a strong national defense.  Conservatives believe that the role of the government should be to provide the people with necessary freedoms to pursue their own goals. Conservatives strictly emphasize on the empowerment of the individual to solve the national problems. Conservatives believe in the People.

Liberals believe in the Big Government to control every aspect of people’s lives. Liberals believe that people are incompetent to run their own lives set aside the national economy and the domestic social issues. Liberals believe in a Welfare State and the Big Government rule over the people.

Dixie Cowgirl: Raunchy Gals and Hot Rod Trucks, Rebel for life!
Confederate Girls Rule! Confederacy Rules and South will Rise Again!

So on 2008, Americans lost their faith in Conservatives because Conservatives had abandoned their core beliefs and tilted away from the Reaganomics and Fiscal Conservatism. Americans tried something different and voted the liberals in to the office.

The average suburban white liberals and the MTV / CNN viewing Youth Liberals with racially guilty consciences due to a century old slave history of America, brainwashed by the Liberal biased American Media, decided to make a Fashion Statement by voting a Black Man in to the White House!

Liberal boys made a fashion statement by erecting a black boy as the US president. Any Black boy would do, even a community organizer with no executive experience who served only two months as a Junior Senator in the US Congress!

Target Practice, that’s what I’m talking about!
Big Bazookas and Big Guns, Wow Nelly, Yo Mama!
NRA Girls Rule! National Rifle Association Rules!

Now this fashion statement could be logical if they had chosen someone qualified such as Condoleezza Rice or even Colin Powel, but No ……. They had to choose some so-called Tall and Handsome, White Friendly, “Light Skinned Black with No Negro Dialect, unless if he wanted to” (Harry Reid) such as Hussein Obama!

As soon s Obama got elected, the gun enthusiasts panicked! Buy Guns Now, before Obama takes away your Gun Rights! Erection of Obama was a direct assault to the 2nd Amendment and to people’s rights to own and bear guns.

Biker Cowgirl: Leather, Spikes and Machineguns go together!
Liberals, suck on this Assault Weapon if you can!

On the other note, a while back, I have done a couple of surgeries to take out a non cancerous tumor between my ear and brain, and to repair the ruptured eardrum. After getting these few surgeries done on my ear, I had become a target for spam mails! Obviously someone sold my name to the businesses and they flooded me with mass e-mail and snail mail spams! Now due to getting these surgeries done, the spammers assumed that I am a senior citizen!

Suddenly a flood of spam mails came my way! I received a great amount of mail trying to sell me hearing aids, Viagra, senior citizen scooters and portable electric chairs, retirement home and retirement community offers, Geritol products, Geriatric products (such as walkers) and life insurance! But the final blow hit me when they sent me offers to purchase coffins from the mortuary and to reserve grave spots in the cemetery!

Gun Show Cowgirl: Now that’s what I call a Gun!
What are the Liberals good for?
Good Targets for Shooting Practice!

These bastards primarily started prescribing hearing aids for me and they finally ended up putting me in the grave!

OK sons of bitches, read this announcement:

I am not a senior citizen! I am not deaf, dumb and blind! I have no hearing problem (well unless I am ignoring you intentionally), I am not handicapped! I am not senile, not in need of reserving coffins and surely not grave spots! God dammit, I am not a Senior Citizen!

So finally these bastards made me feel old, so I had become in need of a booster to make me feel young again!

Greenhouse Cowgirl: Can yous handle this Greenhouse Effect?
Hey Liberals, handle this Global Warming!
Talking about global Warming! Can yous handle them Gears?!

People assume that America’s religion is Christianity and Judaism. The reality is that America’s religion is Sex and Violence! America is all about guns and sex. So what better way to feel young again, boost my ego and to re-erect Haji Kuchike (Junior Pilgrim) and his lost self confidence, but to play with my guns again?!

For more on Haji Kuchike, review:

Adventures of Haji Kuchike and Haji Bozorge

So, I decided to gather my guns, repair them, re-lube them, clean them up and go for some prime shooting and target practice at the gun club!

Now why on Earth do they call me the Eye-Rainian RedNeck?

Eye-Rainian and Iranian!

Backwoods Cowgirl: You want some of this, Big Boy?
What is she talking about? The Gun or the Gold Spinning Gigs?
Either way, I am sold on them gears!

I am not your usual Iranian. I own an arsenal at Ecbatana (my estate), which is more like a fortress! I got a wide range of weapons including but not limited to knives, daggers, swords, blow guns, pistols, rifles, semi automatic machineguns, grenades and all sorts of weapons that once upon a time you could easily purchase in America, but now under the Sissy Faggy, Wishy Washy, Wussy Pussy, Gay Liberal rules of Hussein Obama, the Liberal Congress and their State Government partners, you won’t even be able to speak of them set aside purchasing them! They are now branded as “Assault Weapons”. If you already own them, more power to you, cherish them because you can’t purchase them anymore!

They are as valued and precious as gold! In this day and age of political correctness, everything is forbidden and all various types of weapons are illegal. Even switchblade knives are illegal. Any knife with a blade longer than 6 inches (size of Bill Clinton’s schlong) is illegal, simply because liberals cannot tolerate any long objects with more length than the size of their tools!

US Coast Guard Girl made a Patriot out of me!
Military Service Girls Rock the Boat!

I go to places which no Iranian goes. I go to places which Iranians dare to go and can never imagine to go! I go to boonies, dirt pits and back woods of East San Diego County such as Del Zorro where the good old boys ride bikes, dune buggies and horses. I cruise in nowhere lands that only moonshiners, outlaws, rebels and bikers roam around. These are back woods and pits where average people never set foot in them. Ku Klux Klan holds gatherings and burns crosses in them, Dirt Farmers grow Marijuana in them, Mafia buries bodies in them, moonshiners make moonshine in them, murderers kill people in them and brave teenagers make-out in them! These are perfect places for target practice!

Yes, from time to time, I wear my black leather cowboy getup, $ 300 black Stetson cowboy hat, black leather cowboy boots with silver metal star straps, silver heels and tips, black gloves and black shades, jump in my SUV (or on the bike), load up the guns and knives, blast the Southern Rock or Country Music, let the wind blow my hair, ride the desert on to the destined range for knife throwing and gun shooting target practice and to reminisce and shoot Shiite with the good old boys!

Big Sheriff Girl with Big Gun, that’s what I’m talking about!
Sheriff, would you please arrest me and take me to jail? I plead guilty to all charges!

All the boys have either heard of me or know me well. Some call me the “Fancy Boy” and some call me the “Eye-Rainian RedNeck”! It doesn’t matter if I am with my entourage or alone, but none of the good old boys dare to mess with me unless they are new to the vicinity! The new kids either get warned by the good old boys or they miss out and find out the hard way about who I am!

In the pits and back woods, the same as the outside world, they either love me or hate me but no one ignores me! Actually it was the same way in my early teen years in Iran. Talking about Iran,

What do Iran and America have in common?
Crooked, Lying, No Good Muslim Presidents!

What’s the difference between Ahmadinejad and Obama?
One is an out in open Muslim but the other is still in the closet!

I surfed on the net and noticed that my gun club had opened a branch in the RedNeck city of Santee in San Diego County. Santee is near me, so I packed up some of my favorite guns in a gun-case and headed to my favorite gun club.

Gun Girl in Black: Suck on this Assault Weapon, Sissy Liberal Punks!
Girls in Black turn me on!

On to the gun club, I went. I was wearing black leather from head to toe (even a black leather Stetson Cowboy Hat)! I opened the door and a healthy country girl named Bobby Sue at the counter feeling the long barrel of a 45 Magnum S&W greeted me. Bobby Sue is a tall blonde with bazookas size of the golden spinning UFO gigs in the sky! This gal can surely raise the dead and give a woody to the old Hillbilly Rednecks of the back woods!

Bobby Sue: Howdy stranger, what can I do you for?
(Suddenly my accent changed to Southern!)
Ahreeman X: You can Do me now but save some for later!
B: Silly you, looks like you’re ready for some serious shootin, You got yer guns packed and ready to roll.
X: I reckon I gots other business with yee.
B: What’ll it be? Wanna take me out square dancing to the Country Bunkin (a Country Club in South Bay of San Diego County)?
X: I reckon not now ….. I have other business with you Cowgirl …
B: What it’ll be stranger?
(I opened the gun case and showed her my tools!)
X: I need you to take apart all of these, repair this one and then cleanup and lube all of them, test drive em and make sure they’re all functional.
B: So yee want me to lube em all?!
X: Guns that is …. The rest can rest for later!
B: You dirty Dag on Dawg you ….
X: Ye brought it up gal!
(Suddenly a voluptuous brunette with cowboy hat came out of the backroom and stood next to Bobby Sue)
B: This hear is Lou Ann. She’s one wild gal from South Carolina.
X: Howdy Ma’am (Madam), how youall doing?

Machinegun Girl: Machineguns please, make it a double!
Semi Auto this, you Liberal Fags!

Lou Ann: Weall fine and dandy. How you?
X: I was mighty fine but now that I seen you, I be feelin much better!
L: Dag on (giggle giggle)!
B: Ain’t he smooth? That slick dawg he is …. He’s a fancy boy …
(Girls giggle a bit and shoulder and elbow hit each other …)
X: I just love them mighty fine country gals …Um, Um, Ummm ….
L: He sure is smooth and cute too! Bring it on lover …
B: Listen good lookin, I surely am sorry but we ain’t got no Gunsmith in this branch. This here branch is just fer buying guns, selling guns and shooting them …
X: Well I’ll be damned!
B: Sorry sugar …
X: It’s my own fault. I had to call first!
B: Sugar, here’s the card fer the other branch, go there and ask for Billy and tell him Bobby Sue sent you. Fix them guns and come back here to shoot cause we’re less crowded here.
X: I surely will.
B: Now youall come back here soon.
X: I surely will
B: We’ll keep a light on fer you. Call me.
L: Nice meeting you good lookin
X: Thank yee and youall have a fine day.
B: Bye sugar ….

I walked out of the gun club, disappointed that I did not call first. I walked out of the gun club with dirty guns and an erected schlong! Bobby Sue and Lou Ann were mighty healthy, bumpy, curvy and giddy gals, yet I dinna had time to mess around! On to the other branch, I went ….

Machinegun Girl: Excuse me Hussein Obama; is this gun on the ban list? Hey Hussein, suck on this!
Is she talking about the Machinegun or the Golden Jugs in the Skies?!

I drove all the way to the other side of town, parked the SUV right in front of the door and walked to the gun club. A Cowgirl walked out of the gun club with her rifle bag on the shoulder, she was wearing red suede Indian jacket with shredded sleeves and tall boots,

Cowgirl: Hot damn, I love that SUV, that’s the best looking machine which I have seen lately (pointing at my $ 60,000 brand new black Mercedes Benz SUV)!
X: Well thank yee Ma’am, thank yee very much (Elvis style)!
C: Look at you, must be a biker …
X: I’m known to ride bikes from to time …
C: It must be one of them fast fancy foreign jobs … It must have a big powerful engine, nothin like the feeling of a big powerful roaring engine of a bike between my legs!
X: Oooh … pardon me Ma’am yer very fine and friendly but I’m in a jam for time …
C: Well that’s fine sugar, yeeall can catch me in Country Bunkin on Saturday Nights. I be tagging at the pool tables, just ask for Hot Matilda May. Now drop by yee hear?
X: Yes Ma’am, yer mighty kind …
(I passed her by because she would distract me from my choir and I had to get it down right then and there. I had a tight schedule.)

Now that’s what I call an Armed Assault Charge!
Camouflage me baby!

Now picture this:
A Gay Liberal Environmentalist professor type with blue polyester permanent shopping bag (to save the planet by not using the disposable shopping bags), yet with a big cigar in his mouth, polluting the environment and air, was frolicking around, trying to hold on to the leash of his rat, I mean his gay poodle dog, so they could cross the street! While passing me going the opposite side, he glanced at my gun case, full black leather outfit and cowboy hat, then he mumbled,

Gay Professor: Tea Bagger, Gun Right People, try to make up for their small penises by waving they’re big guns ..
(I interrupted him mercilessly …)
X: … and Gay Liberals hanging on Obama’s Big Black Schlong, massaging it back and forth to make up for their non existing penises!
GP: Well I’ll never …
X: Well yer Mamma and Papa did and that’s why you’re here!
GP:  …. I’ll never consort with your kind …
X: That’s because yer kind got penis envy and we’re holding and waving our big schlongs!
GP: God damn flag wavers ….
X:  … and sometimes we tie the American Flags to the tip of our thick and tall glorious schlongs and proudly wave them in the skies. Now look here, these big ones are called Balls …
(Suddenly I foundmyself in the middle of the street, in front of the gun club, holding my big gun case in one hand and holding my balls (crotch of my pants) with my other hand, waving my balls at a Gay Liberal Environmentalist Professor and cussing Obama! What a scene …)
GP: Neanderthal Tea Bagger (Tea Party Conservative) ….
(Gay Professor walked away mumbling derogatory words at me …)
X: Go shove Obama’s Sausage up your butt, maybe you’ll finally develop a 2 inch liberal penis … (I shouted)

Back to the moment and suddenly I noticed that people going in and out of the gun club are staring at me holding my balls, pointing at the gay professor and cussing Obama!

Assault Rifle Girl: Mr. Obama and Liberals can eat this!
Is she talking about the Semi or the Kitty?

I walked in the gun club with my gun case full of guns in my hand and still holding on to my balls with my other hand. People near the door just gazed at me because they have heard all the commotion outside!

What the hell is going on here (I told myself)! The gun club (unlike the Santee Branch) was crawling with people. This was the bay area branch and it was packed! I walked to the back and some people made a remark, “You’re ready for shooting, ha?” Not at all (I whispered), I’m just here for the gunsmith.

X: Why are you guys jam packed here at the back?
Man: We are waiting for the range space!
X: Range space?
M: Range is full and all of these people are waiting in line …
X: I was just at Santee, no one was there, plenty of room available …
M: It is dead busy here ….

Men, women, old, young, teenagers and even a crippled old man with a cane were waiting in line for target practice. Fathers and mothers had brought their sons and daughters for target practice. The line was getting longer and longer …

Cowgirl with a Revolver, nothing like it hits the spot! Believe me; I had my share of Small Town America Cowgirls! In Small Towns, there’s nothing to do for the gals beside Bowling and Balling! Hee Haw Betty Jean!

Then I looked at the counters. All the clerks were attending customers. The store was packed with clients trying to purchase guns. I started roaming around, looking at the new guns, accessories, ammo, and other weapons. After a long while, finally I managed to grab somebody’s shoulder and drag him towards me.

X: C’mon here boy, I gots some business with yee (My Southern Accent done it)!
Jethro: Name is Jethro …
X: Howdy Jethro?
J: Howdy sir …
X: Bobby Sue from the other branch sent me here to see Billy the Gunsmith.
J: Sorry sir, Billy is not here.
X: What the hell …
J: You can call him …
X: C’mon here boy ….
(I opened the case and showed him my stuff …)
J: Check them cannons …
(another boy walked next to us from the back …)
Boy: Wow Nelly …. Look at them fire power …
J: I haven’t seen beauties like these for ages …
B: I never seen stuff like this (pointing at my AAI semi automatic sub machinegun)
X: See, I’m here to repair this one (pointing at the 25), and taking these apart, cleaning and oiling these big boys (pointing at the 9mm, AAI sub machinegun and the Uzi). Then I want you to test all of them and make sure they run smooth and ready for action.

Blood, Sweat and Tears, and then a Revolver! I’m your Back Door Man!
I’ll be your Honeysuckle, will you be my Daisy?!

J: Sir, here’s Bill’s card and you’re welcome to talk to him, but he is booked for a year worth of work. Maybe he can fit you in between (if the job is easy) or maybe not …
X: What the hell …
J: I know and I’m sorry, but since Obama got elected, people panicked and we got jam packed …
X: You must be one of the few businesses in America which is doing great!
J: Gun business is blooming …
X: So in a way Obama has been good to you guys!

Girls with Revolvers, What it is, what it is? That’s what it is!

J: Yeah that God Darn Obama …
B: People are getting their hands on any gun that they can. Guns like yours are neither in the market nor legal for sales no more ….
J: Guns like yours are worth gold cause you can’t buy them anymore. In many states, they are considered assault weapons. Whoever owns them, holds on to them like gold. You got more?
X: I got a house full …
J: Anytime you consider selling, we’re buying …. You’ll make a fortune …. Just between us …
X: Yeah I know ..
B: I’ll pay you cash right now for this one (pointing at the semi auto Uzi) ….
X: Thanks but no thanks …

Perfect marriage of the Gun and the Girl; Guns and Girls go together.

It was useless; I packed up and left the gun club. I’m not waiting for a year to get the hold of the bloody gunsmith! I will look around and find a backdoor gunsmith who operates from a small shack! For God’s sake, I’ll clean my own guns, I got all the tools!

The gun club was packed, people are buying guns like crazy, the shooting range is booked solid and people are lining up to shoot, the god damn gunsmith is booked for a year! What the Frag is going on here?!

Gun Girl: I’m too Hot to shoot in the Sun, so I had to do some Nude Shooting!

Can you believe it? Obama’s election had caused chaos amongst the people. Gun sales went sky high. Gun manufactures pondered and said to themselves that: “Why not take advantage of the situation and jack up the prices?”

Gun Business must be one of the very few businesses that are blooming in this economy! People are buying guns like crazy. I checked and compared the prices of various guns and I noticed that the gun prices since 5 years ago have been tripled and in some cases quadrupled!

Gun Girl: I’m a Double Shooter; I always pack two automatics and two bazookas!

NRA (National Rifle Association) is surely up in arms with Obama, Liberal Congress and Democrats. There is no doubt that Obama would love to kill the 2nd Amendment but a lot of this chaos is due to a hype! Neither Obama nor any other liberal can ever illegalize guns, do gun control and turn America to Europe! Americans have guns coming out of their ears and noses! It is our right to own and bear arms.

What’s the difference between Iran and America?
In Iran people are not armed and that’s why government can do as they please with the people!
In America if the government steps out of line, people form a militia and overthrow the government.
Guns are what makes the US Government to stay in line and stay put.

Gun Girl: I’m a tournament shooter, I like moving targets and maneuvering while shooting. Watch out for this Black and White Target!

Down South, people are born with guns and they live by the guns and they die with guns in their hands. Even though living in California, I’m a Southern Rebel in heart. I have one foot in the pedal, one foot in the grave, I was born a rebel! As Sarah Palin stated: “Come and Get it?” (our guns)!

We are just waiting for the government to make a move towards gun control. That will be the day that Americans will hang the liberal government officials upside down by the balls from the treetops! I would love the government to try taking away my guns! I practically live in a fortress! Come and get it boys? I’ll see yous in Hell and I’ll surely take a bunch yous along with me! God damn no good government!

Cowgirl Gunner: Now the gun and accessory are a few thousand dollars but this is a Million Dollar Face! Dig the Face!

Yes you guessed it, back to Ecbatana I went. Terribly disappointed for going around town and not accomplishing a damn thing! I went inside and Blondie and Brunettey were there. For more adventures of Blondie, Brunettey and I, check out more of X Diaries (My Memoires):

IPC Founder’s index

Girl with Gun: Big Girls with Big Guns, that’s what it’s all about, the American Dream!
Freedom to Own and Bear Arms; Freedom to Own and Bear Less Clothes!
That’s America Baby!

Blondie: Where have you been?
X: Gun Club
Bl: If you had paid a faction of attention which you are giving to your stomach (Persian Food) and Toys (Guns and knives) to making money, then you would have been a multi billionaire by now!
X: You have paid attention to collecting money and you lost half a million dollars in stock market!
Bl: So did many others …
X: Not me …
Brunettey: … and what would you do?
X: Sell everything and buy gold and silver, stash them in your bank’s safe deposit boxes.
Bl: Too much headache …
X: Since 5 years ago the price of gold has doubled and still rising.
Br: It can go down …
X: But it will never drop to zero (like stocks)!
Bl: Ahhh ….
X: Hey, China is buying gold and silver like there is no tomorrow. China is the new master of world’s economy. If China is doing it, then you guys must do it.

Girls at the Shooting Range bending over to shoot them guns!
Can you handle them postures and hardware?!

Br: What’s with the getup?
Bl: Day by day he is turning more and more to a Hillbilly!
Br: Hows that?
Bl: Country Music station, mumbling country songs, southern accent, Country talk, cowboy hat, cowboy boots, guns, knives, he is becoming a certified RedNeck!
X: Heartland America baby, I’m from the Heart …
Bl: Was your dad a cowboy or your mom?
X: It’s in the ….
Bl: Oh don’t tell me ….. it’s in the Blood and in the Bone-marrow …
Br: Oh my God, hee hee hee …
Bl: I know his Bull Shiite proverbs by the heart. Ahreemanic Bull Shiite!
X: Now C’mon belles, show me some loves, git on with it gals … git ready for the Hootenanny ..
Br: What’s Hootenanny?
Bl: Redneck for party …
X: Honey you have a horrible attitude!
Bl: No Rose is without a thorn!
X: That was awesome. So you are a beautiful rose with all the great qualities residing in my garden, but the bitch behavior is the thorn which comes along with the rose!
Bl: Exactly!
Br: Riot …..
X: I reckon you belles are gittin ready, yeah?
Bl: Oh God, will you for God’s sake drop the hick accent?
Br: How can he? He is the Eye-Rainian RedNeck!

Girls and Guns: 4 Quarters makes a Dollar! 4 Girls for every Guy!

for more information about 4 Girls for every Guy, read:

The Final Sexual Solution for Zeros (2000s)!

… and the country radio station on the corner radio played on:

I beg your pardon,
I haven’t promised you a rose garden …

…. and I sang along …

I beg your pardon,
I haven’t promised you a rose garden …
 No Rose Garden …. Lala Lala La ….

Yes folks, the moral of the story is that you need to live it up because the life is too short to worry about the Bull Shiite. Laughter makes you live longer. Smile so the world will smile back at you. Life is only a game and you’ll only live once! So liver it up!

I beg your pardon,
I haven’t promised you a rose garden …
(Guitar links on the guitar strings squealed on ….)

Girls with Guns: 100 % American, Born in South, Bred at the Range and Balled in the Woods! Touchy Feely, Sissy Ass, Gay Liberals can suck on these two Assault Rifles! Ammunition if Free, courtesy of the NRA! Bleed you Bleeding Heart Liberals!

Hee Haw, Ride it Cowboy …..
and the Lone Ranger rides again ……

Dr. X

Eye-Rainian and Iranian: Chapter 1
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