Sex Change Operation by Dr. Haji Kuchike!
Adventures of Haji Kuchike and Haji Bozorge AKA Hojaj
September 2, 2008
L to R: Haji Bozorge and Haji Kuchike AKA Hojaj
Series: Adventures of Hojaj Kuchike and Bozorge AKA Hojaj (Plural for Haji)
Episode: Sex Change Operation
From the Desk of Dr. X
Dr. X’s New Prescription
Medical Supervisor: Dr. X
Surgical Supervisor: Haji Bozorge aka Grand Pilgrim (Ahreemanic Alter Ego)
Head Surgeon (Literally): Haji Kuchike aka Junior Pilgrim (Ahreemanic Gigantic Schlong)
Surgical Assistant 1: Imam Hassan (Ahreemanic Right Testicle)
Surgical Assistant 2: Imam Hussein (Ahreemanic Left Testicle)
Surgical Nurse: RN Lori Forouzandeh
Patient: Bache Kuni / Bache Kunis
Needed Operation: Sex Change
Operation Method: Bang Operation
Clinic: "Ahreemanic Institute of Advanced Medical Studies"
Who Needs Our Help?
Dear fed-up parents, educators, counselors, social workers, parole officers, juvie officers and other constructive members of the society:
Do you need our help?
How would you know?
Why don't you answer these questions and decide for yourselves:
Do you have or know a Teenager from Hell?!
Has your Teen turned life into Hell for you?!
Do you see no solution or a way out of your situation?!
Has your Teenager exhausted All options to become a useful member of the society?!
Have you tried counselors, psychologists, psychiatrists, other scholars and nothing worked?!
Have you tried everything and yet everything had failed?!
Is your Teen, a wild, crazy, sociopath, psychopath, sadist, masochist and insane spoiled brat who tortures the family pet, has piercings all over her or his eyebrows, nose, ears, tong, lips, naval, nipples, genitals, and tattoos on all other parts of the body?!
Does your brat:
Dresses up like Marilyn Manson,
Looks like Charles Manson,
And sounds like Boy George?!
Does your sweet child looks like a creature from a cheap Dracula B Horror Movie?
L to R: Marilyn Manson, Charles Manson, Boy George
Does your sweet monster child, voluntarily goes to these concerts and even willing to pay to see:
Shahram-e Gay (Shahram K)
Kir-dust and Fahesheh (Bamboos and Banafsheh)
KirMan and HooKan (Kamran and Hootan)
Kuniye Pir (Zia Atabay)
DJ Ali Gay-tor (DJ Aligator)
And other Jendeh-jate Dool-dar or Bi-Dool!
and then comes home 4 AM, stoned, with a "Persian 6/8 Shaky Ass Syndrome" plus a new "Lip Piercing" and asks you for money to get her or his 3rd Lip Ring?!
Have you woke up this morning and you do not know if your sweet child is either a Mass Murderer or Adolf Eichmann on crack?!
Dear fed-up parents, educators, social workers and other constructive members of the society:
Is your sweet heart, beginning to form a sexual, mental, psychological and a political identity?
Sexual as AC/DC?
Mental as Demented Igor?
Psychological as Psycho?
Political as a cross over between Hitler and Stalin ?
Is he a Born Again Muslim, Christian or Both?!
Is he a Born Again Monarchist, Mosadeqist or Both?!
Has he just graduated from Highschool and got accepted by a Madrasah in Pakistan?!
Is he moving to Islamabad for higher education?!
Is your youngen changing her or his name to Fatimah or Abu Musa?!
Or maybe from Jahanshah (Javid) to Mohammad (Javid)?!
Does He or She or HeShe crashes, puts the pieces in the bong and smokes your old 45s and LP Record Albums, when HeShe runs out of Hashish?!
The last time, you looked at your teen, have you asked yourselves:
Is It a She?
Is It a He?
Is It a HeShe?
Is It In Between?
Is It a Trans?
Is It Human?
What the hell is it?!
Are you giving up?
Are you about to shoot the Little Monster?
Are you planning to bury the body in the backyard?
Don't do it!
Don't send them to the Zoo either!
We are here for you!
Well thanks to "Ahreemanic Institute of Advanced Medical Studies"!
Well, thanks to our new scientific discoveries, it is possible that your youngen is suffering from a disease named "Bood-Boodak"!
So this means, you and your Teen obviously need our help!
Symptoms of Bood-Boodak
Sometimes, "Small cheeky, cocky, bold, illiterate, mentally challenged, intellectually bankrupt, politically ignorant, persistent little bastards", do enter IPC and the Ahreemanic Domains! They have too much time on their hands and nothing to do but to cause Chaos in IPC! Like little Bache Kunis, their little anuses screams:
"bood bood, bood-boodak,
bood bood, bood-boodak!"
Their anuses opens and closes with the Persian 6/8 Disco Beat, sending air kisses while asking to be Fragged:
"bood bood, bood-boodak,
bood bood, bood-boodak!"
and then it sings:
"moor moor, moor mooram shod!
moor moor, moor mooram shod!"
And it aches, itches and seeks to be Fragged into discipline! This is when some Fragtures (Fractures with the help of Fragging) due to hardcore Fragging is needed!
"Frag-Therapy" is an Ancient Persian Method of recovery, recommended by many famous Persian and Median Physicians from Qazvin and Qom Area!
System of Down via Bang Operation
This system is only for Teenage patients. The patients must be young and tender; therefore, their genitals are also tender (elastic) and not completely formed; therefore, the operation will set them straight and form a permanent genital and gender for them!
This system is for patients with severe gender and identity crisis! Patients are often extremely Cheeky, Bold, Cocky, Nasty and Back Talking little bastards! When All options are exhausted and the parents and society are hopelessly despaired into depression and clueless on what to do?
Then Haji Kuchike (Ahreemanic Schlong), comes forward and takes the stage as a knight in shining armor, wearing his white uniform, riding the white horse, and starts operation as:
Dr. Haji Kuchike!
Of course Haji will be aided by his faithful and qualified assistants:
Imam Hassan (Ahreemanic Right Wing Testicle)
Imam Hussein (Ahreemanic Leftist Testicle)
What a medical team!
Haji Kuchike to the Rescue!
When patients are absolutely out of control and a menace to society, then they need to be Fragged into submission, civilization and forced in to a specific gender! This is when Haji Kuchike comes to the Rescue!
"Bang Operation" is the latest state of the art, technologically advanced, medical operation method! This new method requires no open surgery, laser surgery, acupuncture or other old fashion methods! It requires only a couple of Mighty Blows! And that is why we call it, the "Bang Operation"!
Bang Operation requires 2 Bangs:
I. Head Bang (Head Blow)
II. Big Bang (Low Blow)
One on the head and One up the Shiiter or Boobool!
The Head Blow is inflicted by Haji Kuchike to the back of the head so the brains will move to the front of the head and restarts functioning!
It only takes one mighty blow "head bang" by Haji Kuchike to patient's head, yet it serves 2 purposes:
1st, it knocks some sense into patient's head; therefore, after the patient regains her/his consciousness, she/he will find her/his sexual identity, desired gender behavior, even political identity! It surely brings social and political stability to youngen's mind!
2nd, it will work as a natural anesthetics to knock the patient out, the natural way; therefore, the patient can get ready for the 2nd part of the Bang Operation: “The Big Bang”!
Serves 2 Types:
Low Bang serves different purpose in different patients:
SheBoys (Gender Benders) who want to become a He
Patient has an abomination genital area. It is neither a penis nor a vagina! It is in between and basically a little hole with a over grown choochool (Clitoris)!
In this case, Haji bangs the patient, up the Shiiter, deep, hard and firm; therefore, Haji will go in so deep from behind, that the patient pops out a new little Shambool from the front of her/his genital area! In other words, due to extreme pressure, a little penis will pop out of patient's clit!
Haji Bangs from the back
Pressure from behind => Growth of a baby shambool from the front
SheBoys (Gender Benders) who want to become a She
Patient has an abomination genital area. It is neither a penis nor a vagina! It is in between and basically a little Boobool (needle prick) with a couple of Hasteh Khorma (Date Seeds) on both sides of it!
In this case, Haji puts his head on top of the patient's Boobool (needle prick) and bangs the patient in the front! So the direction of the banging will be from the front to the back! Haji will bang very deep, hard and firm; therefore, Haji will go in so deep from the front, that he drills a hole in patient's genital area! The patient's little Boobool and Hasteh Khormas will shrink inside the new cavity and a vagina hole will be created! In other words, due to the action of Shambool on Boobool, and much pressure, a new vagina hole will pop inside the patient's genital area!
In this case, Haji must operate very gently and with much craft, or else, due to his mighty blow, instead of a little vagina, a "Giant Cave" will be created!
Haji Bangs from the front
Pressure from front => Growth of a vagina hole in the front
Even though Bang Operation is still in academical study and experimental stages, yet due to much demands from the fed-up parents, educators, social workers and other constructive members of the society, we are taking applications from a select number of patients which have exhausted any other type of therapy! The only way to create useful members of society out of these menace Teens from Hell, is simply to Frag them straight!
After two simple Mighty Bangs: Head Blow and Low Blow, these youngens will learn to become civilized, gain manners, become useful members of society, gain a specific gender, gain political stability, and re-join the human society!
This is called:
Miracle of "The Bang Operation"!
Miracle of Shambool!
Now I would like to give credit to my colleague, Dr, Haji Kuchike, for his vast efforts in practical operations of my theories. Haji is the one who needs to get the credit for actually Banging these Brats from Hell, these Children in States O Mind, these Abomination Rats, into actual "State O Homeostasis" and "Harmony" with rest of the functioning society!
Haji is the one who puts the Confused in to the Clear!
Haji is the one who turns the Disturbed in to the Healthy!
For more information or appointments for operation, please contact The IPC Office and ask for:
Dr. Haji Kuchike's Secretariat
The Key is Fragture via Fragging!
We will Fragture your teens into discipline and return them back to civilization.
We will create an either stable shambool or nanaz for your teen.
We will create a stable identity, gender, mental state, political ideology and general behavior.
We will teach your teens how to dress, look and act like Human again!
We will return your teens back to the society, and
We will bring stability back to your lives,
Or your money back is guaranteed!
Proof of age for the Teen patients are needed! Unlike the Islamic Nations, which children as young as 9 years old (Mohammed cheated, because Ayishah was only 6) can be cured via this therapy, United States has strict laws; therefore, Haji Kuchike does not seek to be prosecuted for Jail Bait! All patients must be 18 or older!
"Ahreemanic Institute of Advanced Medical Studies" and its staff are an:
"Equal Opportunity Frag Banging Organization".
All nationalities, ethnicities, races, legal age groups, genders and in betweens are welcomed!
We shall Bang All.
“Ahreemanic Institute of Advanced Medical Studies” under the supervision of Hojaj, Haji Kuchike and Haji Bozorge are always at your service. We are happy to be your final option to rehumanize your youngens!
Haji Bozorge on behalf of Haji Kuchike!
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