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A Mid Summer Nightmare!
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A Mid Summer Nightmare!
A Fantasy Humor Play in 2 Acts
A Mid Summer Nightmare!
A Fantasy Humor Play in 2 Acts
An Ahreemanic Classic - IPC Nostalgia
Ahreeman X
Republished: December 22, 2007

This is a sequel to "A Mid Spring Nightmare" play, which I have written both of them, a long time ago ……

The sequel to "A Mid Spring Nightmare" is finally here for your pleasure!

This is a play in two acts, sequel to "A Mid Spring Nightmare" a humor comedy play written by me months back, way back and it's in the IPC Club message board somewhere in the back posts (IPC Club original message board in yahoo had been shut down by the Hezbollah). The last part, "A Mid Spring Nightmare" was "inspired" by true events, but this one, "A Mid Summer Nightmare," has been "based" on true events! Start reading at your own risk!


A Mid Summer Nightmare!
Act One

It was a hot Summer evening, no breeze, no draft, just plain hot and humid all over. It was hard to even breathe! I was sitting behind my computer after a hard and long day of teaching, and work in the lab. I still had a whole bunch of applications to work on and software to install, a pile of students' tests were also sitting on my office desk. I logged on and went to IPC, all of a sudden someone IMed me on AOL Instant Messenger. A while before this, I stated at IPC that all members that want to talk to me, should write "IPC" as the very first line on the IM, so I know that they are from IPC. So I would respond right away, other wise due to amount of work I am having on the net, educational, research, work, political, or even many Life threats, password hacking, virus sending love letters, and etc., I do not often have the time or the motive to respond to IMs.

Incoming IM,
J: IPC
X: You dope!
J: Why?
X: God damit, like I am sure, I do not know you, and you have to write IPC, so I will know you are from the club?!
J: Oooh
X: How can I not know you, we only IM and e-mail each other few times a day!?
J: But security reasons….
X: Security shmiurity, I know it's you, you're the only one who interrupts me in a middle of an important project on the net, believe me I know it's you damn Nima!
J: OK, don't have a cow damit, I just wanted to be on the safe side!
X Oh god, will you guys stop bugging me for a few hours so I can finish this project? If I am not on Yahoo IM it means that I don'' want to be bothered, and 4 of you guys will not let me be for a few hours. I will never get this done!
J: OK damit, I thought you want to know that your Communist buddy is back, the one you went to Chad with!
X: Screw 69, let me finish this project, you damn Fascist.
J: Well the hell with you Democracy loving Republican, American flag waving fool!
X: So between work, school, and program you are busy this summer ha?
J: Yup, barely have enough time to post!
X: Well get your ass to IPC and post damit (Why did I do that!?)
J: Well soon I will do it, I am writing a long article that I am working on. (He really misses my work!)
X: Ye you think everybody else is not busy, you are the only one who is busy? Start participating more and more in IPC. (Damn I just encouraged him to write a very lengthy article!)
J: Ok Dr. X
X: Well alrighty then….
J: Later, bye
X: Adios Amigo

Ok so I can concentrate on my work now, J is gone. Started working on the project for 2 minutes and then…..

Incoming IM from an AOL user who is not a member of AOL. Will you accept message?
Oh what the hell may as well, I will never get this done! Damn Pantea!

X: Yeeees, can I help you.
P: Well it's great seeing you here at this corner of the cyber world Dr.
X What do you mean, we did not bumped together accidentally, you interrupted my chain of thought, on purpose and not by accident.
P: OK settle down, you should be happy that I IMed you, it is your pleasure, good Dr.
X Yes it is, so Great Spiritual mother of IPC, what can I do you for?
P: How are you doing MKO Commander?
X: Well thank you MKO Lieutenant.
P: MKO Lieutenant is reporting now….
X: Go on MKO Lieutenant
P: So you saw his posts
X: Yes unfortunately I wasted my eye site on it!
P: What do you think?
X: Is he absolutely mental or what? I think he lost it all the way this time.
P: You think?
X: Yup
P: Hmmmm
X: I will catch you later, got to go, thanks
P: later MKO commander
X: Later MKO Lieutenant
P: Does he really thinks that we are MKO? I think he just want to disrupt all by causing a conflict between members and use it for his advantage.
X: divide and conquer
P: exactly
X: Old British policy
P: like you said about Torokhoda!
X: Yup, listen I got to finish this project darling, later.
P: OK OK then, later
X: Bye
P: MKO Lieutenant over and out, tsk tsk, hee, hee hee!
X: MKO commander out now

Ok then Panty is gone too, maybe I can finish this now! 2 minutes later, again….

Incoming IM this time from AOL user……..

Ghods: Brother Ahreeman, salamon alaikom
X: Dorood
G: speak Farsi
X: I am! Dorood is Farsi, you are speaking Arabic, salam?!
G: Stop knit picking
X: Sorry brother
G: May I ask how did you find my e-mail address? I just got your invitation and information email from IPC
X: Brother If I explain to all, that how I find their email addresses everyday, I will be explaining 3 hours every day!
G: really!
X: Yes, you know it's my field, computers and net! There are ways to find emails, I send thousands of emails every month to advertise for IPC.
G: really?
X: yes brother
G: Well maybe you should drop by at Santee Mosque brother
X: You are kidding! Are you from Santee Mosque?
G: Yes brother in your back yard neighbor city.
X: How interesting, tell me why IRI, ooops I mean Omat of Islami built that mosque in a Red Neck town of Santee in the middle of the desert? You know all Persians being in La jolla, Delmar, and Rancho Penasquitas, and Poway?!
G: brother, mosque is for all, not for Iranians only …
X: But brother, no Muslim lives in Santee?
G: Well they leave in San Diego county!
X: Ye but wouldn't it be better to built it in city limits or Iranian areas?
G: Brother Allah is everywhere
X: Even in Red Neck town of Santee and in the desert?
G: Yes brother Allah o Akbar
X: But brother, could one reason for building it there, be that it's an isolated compound in a middle of no where? Especially that it does not look like a mosque with arches and gonbads (domes) ceiling Islamic architecture style! And crescent on top, it is just a huge compound like David Kourosh cult storage of weapons in a middle of the desert?! Like a huge warehouse?
G: what are you implying brother?
X: That why a mosque is in a middle of desert in a red neck town, and it does not even look like a mosque, but it looks like a gun and ammunition storage?
G: My son, Allah is wise, he knows best
X: You mean it is his idea?
G: Allah goes to strangest places to expand Islam
X: Are you sure?
G: La ellaha ella Allah, you ask too much, just accept the will of God.
X: Just curious brother
G: Well don't be, curiosity killed the cat
X: Is that a threat?
G: No just a friendly advice, we know that the local KKK found out about mosque's location and the FBI is also watching the compound, we wonder how they found out about it? You put 2 and 2 together and we smell Taquti, monafeq, goruhak members, little opposition rats!
X: No you don't tell brother?
G: Yes yes, anti revolution is everywhere Ahreeman
X: Even in Santee?
G: Even in San Diego, you know?!
X: Really?
G: yes enemies of Islam are all around, they do not leave us alone to do our prayer, even in the desert!
X: Those bastard kaffars, those Atheist Imperialists, those haraamies, those pigs……
G: enough don't get excited
X: sorry lost control and got emotional
G: So you would not know who is this son of a kaffar who is causing trouble for us in San Diego, would you brother Ahreeman?
X: Me? No! I would not dare!
G: That kaffar and his crew are causing problems, avoiding the will of Allah!
X: Ye that bastard!
G: That son of a Satan is preaching his trash on the net too
X: That son of a bastard Satan, that fool
G: stop repeating me
X: I am just agreeing with you brother, I'm empathizing … we must take action against koffar and traitors to Islam!
G: ye my son we will, Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm……..
X: That was a long Hmmmmmmmm?
G: Say will you come and join us for a summer feast at the mosque for memory of all martyrs of Islam who lost their lives for the Islamic Revolution in Iran?
X: Me?
G: yes brother you, all are welcomed, we will have a special feast for all
X: For all ha?
G: yes brother all Muslims and all lost souls of Islamic descend are welcome
X: What if you are none?
G: you are still welcomed
X: What's for dinner?
G: Qeyme polo and Lubia polo
X: Is it Qeyme badenjan eggplant or potato?
G: potato
X: see, I like Eggplant
G: brother that's not the issue, Islam is the issue …
X: I prefer Kubideh Kabob
G: be quiet you are not getting the main issue
X: Well I enjoy kabobs better, that is an issue
G: We did not give hundreds of thousands of martyrs in Islam, so you would talk about dinner!
X: Sorry but it's just a matter of taste!
G: pay attention, get here and bring all your friends tomorrow night
X: So soon?
G: yes we must take care of all, I mean we must enlighten all children of Islam soon as possible
X: Yup, I see, but I really do not have time tomorrow, maybe another time!
G: You shall come, your soul is in stake, and this is a holy occasion
X: But I'm needed elsewhere!
G: you must come, all must come, and Friday Imam (Imam Jum'a) of San Diego insisted on all to come
X: I know, say hi to Imam, but I'm busy
G: you do not come and it will be hell to pay at the other world, when you die and go …
X: You mean to heaven?
G: well don't be so sure, maybe to the other place …
X: Just because of not participating in one ceremony?
G: yes, 12 Imams of Islam, Imam Reza, Imam Ja'far Sadeq, Imam Zein al Abedin, all will testify on your infidelity towards Islam, join Allah in his gathering for your souls
(At this time I pictured Zein al Abedin-e Bimar on his camel was coming to rescue my soul with his holy crew! 50 Arabs on their camels where riding medium slow, cause Imam was sick yet was insisting to save my soul!)

X: That bad ha?
G: hell to be paid brother, Hell …
X: And no Kabob on top of it too!
G: stop this kabob thing
X: sorry
G: Come my son, come tonight, come to the mosque, Allah is forgiving, I am worried about your health and safe being in the other world!
X: Exactly, but I am worried about my health and safe being in this world, that's why I might not come!
G: What are you getting at?
X: nothing, just mumbling ….
G: Then coming?
X: La! not coming
G: Your soul my son, hell to be paid if not coming
X: My body, hell will be paid if I come!
G: you can come with all your friends then …
X: Can we bring our semi automatics and grenades too?
G: What?!
X: I mean can we bring our semi faculty students and girl friends too?
G: sure sure bring all lost souls of Islam
X: Hejab and chador and veil are mandatory?
G: well we got some xtra at the door here, don't worry
X: Can the girls wear blue veils?
G: Stop this wasting of time, are you coming or not?
X: Not!
G: Then you will burn in hell for not participating in memorance of our revolution's martyrs, Islam is nothing to play with.
X: But brother, I have a project…..
G: Shut up, project is more important than your soul?
X: but I am only a mammal
G: Are you reduced to just a mammal, an animal?
X: Doing me, doing you, baby we are nothing but mammals,
Let's do it like they do it in discovery channels!
Do it again now, c'mon babe, doing me, doing you,
We are…..lala lala…..
G: Are you humoring me, you son of a Ahreeman, Eblis, Satan?
X: No just singing a song!
G: Ok then beware of Allah's wrath, revenge and despise!
X: Does this mean I will not get any Kabob?
G: the hell with you then, you kaffar monafeq, mofsed-e fel arz, taquti….
X: Ok then, doing me, doing you, we're nothing but mammals,
I wanna do you like they do it in discovery channels,
do it again now…. Lala….lala. la la la……

Ghods was gone then, gave up on my soul! Back to the project if all these people let me!

Finally I finished the project and went to bed, was very tiered! I guess I was in between sleep and awakeness, hell and heaven, kind of sleep but woke up in another world, it was so real that I didn't think it was a dream!

Was this heaven, was this twilight zone, and barzakh? Then where was Mirage my old pal who got finally lost in the twilight zone and never posted a message any more (read part one)?!

Is this heaven?

A character in Red suit, with 2 horns sticking out of his head and a tail! Wait a second but he is wearing a jump suit with jewels and precious stones stitched in! Bell bottoms pants! A Guitar! Guitar in one hand and a pitch fork in other pointing at my butt!

A voice came……

Elvis: Hell no boy! You're back boy? Your in my domain boy….
X: Damn no not again! Its Elvis again with southern accent of Memphis! I know the last time in Mid Spring Nightmare, he was replacement Temp for Satan who went to vacation! Does this mean that I am again in……
E: Ye boy Hell spell it H E L L, Hell boy…
X: Oh lord!
E: he can't help you now, boy
X: I know
E: ye boy too late for that
X: oh boy
E: Well bless my soul, you back boy, you must have liked it here the first time!
X: Well you being the king of Rock & Roll and all and being one of my idols and…
E: Shut up boy, kissing my ass wont get you any where boy
X: No you really are my hero, well one at least! You know I started dying my hair blue black 10 years ago when I learned that you colored yours black!
E: Well thank you, thank you very much (Elvis style of thanking with a lip twitch!)
X: Well thank you very much too (Elvis style)
E: You imitate me, you Iranian bastard?
X: Hey it's Persian you know!
E: quiet you damn rag head
X: Hey we are not Arabs, we are Persian
E: I know that's why I did not call you a Camel Jockey, Just a Rag Head!
X: Oh ok then, but I am really an American, I am as American as Apple Pie!
E: American, Persian, Iranian, Rag Head, Camel Jockey, Apple Pie, corn on the Cob, whatever boy, your ass is mine now!
X: Oh boy
E: ye you pissed of so many people while living, all Gods and prophets, Saints and holiness, his majesty Pope, Ayatollah, even Santa Clause!
X: Even Papa Noel?
E: ye boy, you are one wanted son of a bitch around here, boy….
X: But I was good, I even put milk and cookies on the table…..
E: Shut your mouth boy, humor won't get you no where, it will just make it worst, Humor is what got you here at the first place, boy!
X: I know ha?
E: Ye boy shut your trap
X: Well o well o well bless my soul, what's wrong with me,,,, I am shaking like a fuzzy tree,,,,,,, hello hello Hell, Dancing with the Jail House Rock……. Lala lala….la….la….
E: (Elvis now dancing and shaking with me, singing Jail house Rock in Hell!) Ok boy stop it! Now you got me going….
X: Sorry I figure it's my last song and dance!
E: That's right boy, where you going, there will be no songs boy
X: Sorry
E: should be
X: so what's the deal?
E: The deal is your ass is grass!
X: Oh
E: look around boy, all your pals are here, see them boiling in the big pot, the one that Demon is stirring the boiling water content of it with the huge spatula?
X: ye
E: that's Marlene Monroe and Jimmy Dean boy
X: Wow!
E: See Nixon and Kennedy sitting in the other big boiling pot, like taking a Jacuzzi, and debating, those fools are still talking and arguing over Bay of Pigs!
X: I see
E: And that's Khomeini and Beheshti banging away in the river of milk and honey with beautiful Houri Angels standing on both sides of them with towels (as Quran said). Except that Houri Angels are couple of Qoltashan muscular hairy thick pricked bastards with thick moustaches and thick schlongs, you know, they special requested that!
X: Wow Nelly!
E: Ye baby
X: I knew they were kind of funny…
E: Well many holy clergy are, even Catholics, the other day we had a priest who died of a heart attack with his zipper down while banging a choir boy, they brought him here in that condition, with his zipper open and thing hanging out, imagine…..
X: I really rather not!
E: ye boy we get lots of special requests for holy people
X: ye I imagine
E: boy look and see Betty Page, Janis Joplin, and May West on that side hot bating! On the left you see Hitler, Mussolini, Franco, hell who's that?
X: The one with the black boots and black shirt and a whip, saluting Fascist salute?
E: Ye that boy
X: Hell looks a little like J, but cant be, J still alive and on Earth!
E: No boy, its Juan Peron trying to act like the big boys of the Fascist club!
X: Oh I see, is Evita here too?
E: Ye boy in women's massage parlor area
X: Oh who's that massaging her?
E: Jackie Kennedy
X: Damn you mean Evita was that way?
E: Hell boy, this is hell, people tend to go AC/DC sometimes!
X: Wow Nelly, holy toledos!
E: ye boy watch your butt, I heard Ataturk is after your butt, Genghis Khan too….
X: Why them?
E: With all the insults to Turks and Mongols you did, do you even have to ask?
X: Well then Arabs must really love me here?
E: Boy the whole tribe of them are waiting in Mediterranean Room, waiting for your arrival, all big boned and healthy with their pants down!
X: I didn't know I had so much fans!
E: Boy even Stalin, Lenin, Kruschev, Trotsky, Marx and Engels with about 1000 Tatar Cossacks and Bolshevik guards of the Red Army with their thin sword blades be waiting for you in the Black Sea Room, they are waiting for Arabs to finish with you, so they can start on your Aryan Ass, boy!
X: That's a good thing I know Martial Arts and Kung Fu!
E: That wont help you boy, so did I, remember? But after fighting a dozen or two of them, you will finally injure a few but at the end you will give in!
X: But it's not fair!
E: boy life is not fair, what makes you think death is fair?
X: god damit
E: That's right boy, you had to think of that when you were banging all those chicks up there on the Earth above. You were pretty much into Anal Erotica with young girls, boy, … well now it's pay back time, these savage Arabs, Bolsheviks, Turks, and Tatars will be satisfying all their Anal Desires on you now!
X: Holy Shiite!
E: Keep on cracking jokes boy, you'll be bleeding soon!
X: Is there any more surprises for me?
E: Ye boy and when all will be done with you, see those Jet Black Native African Black boned boys over there, all 120 of them, they be getting revenge for you banging their 2 young naked native sisters in Chad Republic, Africa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
X: Holy Shiite Muslims!
E: Holy shit is right boy, I don't want to be in your shoes now! You be ripped apart over and over and over…

I analyzed the situation and I saw no way that I could take them all either by fight or by being a sexual toy! So I turned back to Elvis and said,

X: Hey Elvis, I mean Satan, look over there it's Pricilla, in a red dress, finally came down to visit!
E: Where boy, where?
X: there on the right
( while Elvis was busy searching and looking hard to the right, I fled and flight instead of fight!
Ran away for a mile or two, damn Hell is a bit like Jamaran, it's one big bangarooni butt plugging, Bangool! Suddenly I was floating in the flat air, but there was no air there, no matter, no energy, no nothing, absolute empty space, floating in the space with all the stars of all the galaxies of all the universes visible! Like flying in a dream! Floating in space, if I would make my body twitch and push forward, I could go faster and it would look like flying! I was playing Superman in empty space and then I saw the stars making a visible sign, it looked like they are trying to tell me something, they wrote "Twilight Zone" in the space, with their lights! Suddenly I heard the music of Rod Serling's Twilight Zone! Doo doo doodooo, doo doo, dooodooo, "This is a place in time and space…….", Rod's sound came from the background! Damn Rod must be here too! Now you are entering "The Twilight Zone"! Dadadaaaaaam! Music ended, Rod's voice stopped, empty space with no stars and no light any more, absolute frightening Abyss!

Hello, is there anybody in there?
Then I heard; Is there anybody in there?
Sounded like Pink Floyd's Wall!
Hey is that David Gilmour, or Roger Waters?

………. Is there any body in there! ECHOooooooooooooooooooo

Hello who's there?

Suddenly the vision sounded familiar, Red, Green and White with a Faravahar emblem! What the hell, is this IPC (That was the design of the original IPC Club in yahoo which Hezbollah had shut down!)?!

It is IPC came to life! In 3D vision, all around me, but when I clicked on posts, name links of writers on top of each page, the writers and members all came out, suddenly all where there, all members! In a sort of Ghost shape, not touchable and not matters, yet light and Visual form! All around me!

You guys are here? Are you all dead? How come not in heaven? How come not in Hell? Why in twilight zone? Why hanging in between heaven and hell?

A voice:
(Because of associating with you, fool, don't you know? You said it before, all intellectuals end up hanging as weightless 3D visions in the Twilight Zone, between Heaven and Hell in absolute empty space for eternity! You son of a bitch did it to us…….. IPC was an intellectual club, like it or not we ended up being one by joining! You did it to us!

We will float in here forever now thanks to you!
Well at least you are not being banged by a tribe of Arabs! (I said)

A boy with a white Turban and a T-shirt with a letter R written big on the front, appeared!

RezaUSA: Ye you fool, but we are doomed with no action on a material ground anywhere, we will float and debate forever, damn you!
X: Well excuse Meeeeeeeeeeeeee
R: Damit I told you to be polite and do not piss off the Big Man up here!
X: Wait a second is it you? Are you the Peaceful Turban man? What R stands for? Rasht? Roqan Nabati?
R: No fool shut up, I told you I will cuss now, I threatened all, I will cuss you all! It stands for Reform, I am the "Reform Man," all dressed up in white!
X: Oh you are a new super hero, like Batman!
R: Damn you still don't get it, this is it you fool, you screwed us!
X: Hey did I twist your arms to be in IPC? You volunteered, look at the bright side you were the Elite of the Intellectuals from around the net!
R: Ye the doomed elite for associating with you!
X: Hey white peaceful Turban man, where you going?
R: Away from you!
X: Qahr nakon! Come back, I wont mouth back to you no more, come back don't leave…..

A Red Turban appeared and Red Shawl followed with a thick Stalin mustache, above lips, Turkish eyebrows jumped up, a Marx manifesto in one hand and a Quran in other! Amazed seeing me! He had 4 different faces on four sides of the head!

Rezav69: Vataan Foroush-e Taquti, you finally got here?
X: Ya baby ya, we are all shagging here now in a shagadelic Twilight World!
R: you damn vataan fouroush, monarchist, republican, imperialist, MKO commander with no love for masses of proletariats……
X: Damn you still bitching, Vladislav You-Bitch?
R: fool illiterate, intellectual wanna be………….. westernized…………
X: He just wont shut off, he will go on and on and on, he must use Energizers Batteries!
(little energizer bunny showed up going across the screen of the Twilight Zone with banging the drum like the commercial!)
R: you capitalist sell out traitor to the cause, you doomed us……….you MKO ……..
X: will someone put a bone in his mouth, we have enough problems and got to figure out a way out of…..

A Blonde with a very short skirt showed up, red little top, a halo on top of the head, due to Religious background and upbringing, and a little Red Tail sticking out of the mini skirt! She had a few thousand dollars in hand……

Nancy: I tried to buy our way out of here, talking to the big guy, but he wouldn't give me a time of the day! Then I tried to flirt my way out of here with George Burns! You know he sits in for the big guy now at the gate door to Heaven! I showed him a peak or two of my sweet bosoms but I guess his schlong has been dead for centuries now! Then I saw Patrick Swayze like the Ghost but selling tickets at the second door, I tried to buy my way in, even offered a job to him for the company I work at…….
X: Damn woman stop it, just stop, this is not Earth, your methods won't work here!
N: Well I am just saying that I tried, and I had no spelling errors this time either, you bastard…….
X: OK got the picture
N: So what's a little cutie like you doing in a empty space like this here? Rawww, it brings up the cat in me!
X: This is not the time
N: Come here you fool, give me a kiss…..
X: Nance we are doomed here till eternity, I am trying to get us out, this is not the place….
N: Well you got us here, now I will show you a tip or two, c'mon here you Dr. of love you….. don't run…..

Suddenly a youngen in a black suit, jack boots, an ancient Roman Axe sign of Fascists on his arm band showed up, saluting with right hand going up and down IL Duce style!

J: Damn you Dr. you done it now, that's why I was avoiding IPC for a while, cause I knew you would lead us to disaster, you wanna be intellectual.…..
X: down boy, Francisco Franco, wait a minute
J: Franco was a Falangist, I am not a Falangist, I am a Fascist …..
X: OK Benito, wait a minute, like you were not my partners in crime, you all had no sin?
J: Ye but I just wanted to argue with some fanatics and givem a peace of my mind, but you……

A figure came to my rescue, a holy Angel with a halo around the head, wings on the back, flying down from above, a spiritual saint, with a Red dress! Pantea to rescue!

Panty: Hey let's all get along, Let's together find a way, live and let live, dar kenare ham va ba ham baraye be dast avardan-e Irani azad, kheshtak-e ham ra dar kuche pas kuche-haye Qom dar avarim, Ooops I mean, Dar nayavarim!
X: Spiritual Devil, I mean mother of IPC, you are here!
P: ye and as usual to your rescue but this time God cannot even save you
X: Well thanks for being optimistic mother
P: you welcome my son
P: I just dropped by to see how you all doing and give you the latest news links about Iran and the world and ….
X: Screw Iran and world and Earth and ……… don't you get it? It's all over!
P: well look at the bright side, it is not over until it is really over
X: it is really over panty
P: C'mon now look at the bright side
X: there is none
P: Now there is, dar na omidi basi omid ast…..
X: not another damn poem or Iranian expression….
P: Payane shabe siyah……
X: stop it
P: Sepid ast…..naborde ranj ganj moyasar…..
X: helppppppppppppppppppp!

There came a man in a white medical uniform, with a pipe in his mouth, a psychology book in his right hand, touching his chin with his left fingers and going hmmmmmmm

X: is it Dr. Feud?
Psychoanalyzer: No Doc it's me
X: Farhad it's you
F: yup to observe the situation
X: we are pass analyzing
F: don't say that it's all related to your childhood…..
X: does not matter now
F: Who is Dr. X a character with all issues of his childhood who started IPC……
X: stop it and let me think of a way out
F: He was impolite and give lots of fohsh, too much of it as a matter of fact……
X: Analyze this! (pointing at …)
F: naughty naughty naughty…….
X: Lord help me…

A voice came

(did you call me my son?)

X: lord, you existed all these years and I have denied you?

A figure in white clothes and a green turban a true descendant of Mohammed Salla Allah appeared

Torokhoda: no my son it's me
X: damn I thought it's lord
T: well close, I was so holy, been promoted to a great Holy Spirit!
X: Damn this place is in shambles too, no rules, no laws, khar tu khar!
T: call me Dr. T or Seyed Ruhollah!
X: lord help us now!
T: The great equalizer, the spiritual man, didn't I tell you
X: what?
T: not to be a kaffar, and pray 5 times a day like me
X: You mean bending over and calling Allah to come and do it to me?
T: keep on making fun you fool, you are beyond help
X: lord
T: you will learn my son, the hard way…..

And he flew away with his shawl of green, the green turban vanished of the view in slow motion………..

X: I wonder where is Mirage? Probably deep in depth of Twilight, he been here a great while now!

A young woman with a white veil showed up!
She was so holy that was floating above the ground, kind of in the air and above the grounds by an inch! Wind blew and the veil moved to the right a bit, we saw naked legs with a mini skirt under it!

Fuzjan: Besmellahe Rahmane Rahim….
X: please don't read Quran now!
Fuzjan: You will never learn you Atheist!
X: Guess not, I am beyond help!
F: Dr. didn't I tell you to have some spirituality?
X: Well I did, I loved all the women in my life with great spirits and lots of spirituality….
F: beyond help
X: Yes Fuzzy joon, hey when did white veil go in fashion?
F: When Khatami started wearing white Aba shawl on his back, all of us reformers followed and wore white turbans like Reza USA, and me Fuzzy Joon and………
X: Good reformers, just close them eyes and follow the leader, and eventually you will drop in the Well!
F: You got room to talk, looks like you are in the Well and Chah!
X: Hmmmmmm true!
F: Hey I got to go to the mosque now, cause later there is a party at Soo Soo's, the sister of Sisi Joon, we gotta dance with Andy's new Album till morning, but only after namaz prayer at the university mosque, so it will be Halaal!
X: Hey wait there is a mosque here in Twilight too!

Intermission ….

A Mid Summer Nightmare!
Act Two

A skeptic figure showed up with a kepi hat like intellectuals from south of France, and a cigar Barg between his lips, also another figure appeared behind him, blue jeans, T-shirt, his school books in his hands looked like coming from his class!

French intellectual looking guy with a hat, goes;

Arash: Well well well Mr. Ahreeman from hell, finally you made it!
X: Jigareto, of course! You thought I wouldn't?
A: No but I wondered how long will it take you to?
X: Funny Arash, funny!

The guy the student looking one with blue jean:

Amir Mishani: See I told him you will be here already, see we have totally different political opinions and ideologies yet we are best friends!
X: I see
Am: ye Dr. Glad to see you here
Ar: Well we glad you are here but we sad that we are!
X: jee thanks
Am: No we glad you here and we regret that we are too!
Ar: What we mean is that we were fine in Iran, now we are somewhere worst than IRI!
Am: well I was not in Iran I was in USA, and fine, I even erased my location, the city and university off of my profile so my life would not be in danger by you damn Dr. X' s IPC and the Hezbollah would not find me! The little I knew that I would end up in Twilight with all of you, any way!
Ar: Stop being so conservative and chicken, look at me, I was in Iran and I said what I wanted to, brave and strong, I said what I wanted in IPC, screw Mullahs.
Am: well look where it got you, reading books that Dr. X told you too!
Ar: We only live once!
Am: And we only die once too!
X: boys boys stop your arguing, this will not help us getting out of this one, let's think!

"Well I do not want to be on the negative side, but I got to say that positively it might be hopeless to try anything to escape, this is the other world, you know?!"

X: oh it's Mr. Shirazi
S: I don't want to offend Islam or any other religion, but these damn people got us here!
X: I thought I got you here?
S: Well ye but they were the cause and you were the result…..
X: I see
S: And I don't want to offend anyone but…
X: please offend now, it does not matter no more, do it man!

A creature full of sin came by, he was so full of sin that all the sinners started bleeding sin when he got in, he was so full of sin that the sinners bowed to him, he was the Master Atheist himself full of sin!

Sinner: Yo Doc
X: yo Sin
S: Wazzzzzup?
X: Wazzzzzup Wazzzzabi? Wasabi ...
S: Wazzzzup?
X: What's the Deeeeeeeeeal?
S: What's happeniiiiiiiiiiiing?
X: We be burned in hell dude!
S: Guess not! We be lost in Twilight!
X: Sharks!
S: ye that's bullshit ha?
X: yup
S: yupper
S: Yesiri bobby
X: Yes sir, yasser, yasser Arafat!
S: He the man!

A voice came: I hope you two are having one big happy fun Fu…ing time cause we all do not see the humor in this, you Fu…ing Guys! #%&$!

X: Look who's here
S: Chico baby
Chicmoda: God damn Mullahs, illiterate morons, Hezbollahis, Dreaming fools, Intellectual wanna bees, Species, Bastards of all kinds are sitting around and wazzzzuping whole time is wasting and we will be one step closer to the eternal doom, you damn Dr. Evil!
X: Chico chico chickadee
C: Shut that stuff for god sake think of a solution and stop screwing around with sinner
X: ok I seriously am trying

A cussing poetic long haired romantic male slut flirt approaching!

Netty: Hell, this must be hell Fu…ing Pu…y, it has to be god damn Hell Fu….ing Pu,,,,y!
Ahreeman is here, all Helious creatures too, damn ladies of IPC too! It must be Hell Fu…ing Pu…y
X: Damn boy, don't read so much poetry, you are so poetic!
N: When I left my sweet Panty, and Nancy and Chic and fuzzy at IPC,
I did not know that they will end up in Twilight with you Wus See,
It was all you, you , you, you selfish man you, see,
You and your damn selfish no romance and sex, in your damn IPC!
X: Hey is this she'r or Me'r? I can rhyme better than that and I am not a poet like you damit?!
N: Keep on slandering, it will not help you, you know!

Leave him alone! (a voice came)

Elvis: he is beyond help!
All IPC members opened room for the Master of the Hell to step in….

Someone was taking pictures like a "War Photographer: from CNN, but he had some baseball bats and Rocks in his bag too (in case Hezbollah attacked)

X: damn Mehran stop taking pictures, this is not demonstrations in Tehran! We are doomed you know?
Mehran Jame: But doctor, it is a good photo action opportunity!
X: Damn Mehran, don't you get it, I am done, finito, doomed, what's with the damn pictures?
M: Hey I promise I will post them in IPC!
X: You will not get a chance to post it in IPC, you and all are stuck in Twilight Zone!
M: Hey who knows maybe there will be a Newspaper or two in Twilight, either Reformer or opposition! Heck maybe there will be a political club site on the net here too! You don't think?
X: Lord help us!
M: (with camera sound click click click) Dr. give me a profile, now pose now, little bit to the left, looking good doc, keep up the angle, pose!
X: what with a pitchfork in my throat?
M: ye little bit to the right, neck up……..

King goes……………

E: And you thought you could fool me and get away ha?
X: He got me now! Oh shoot!
E: Boy let's go, we be doing some business now, Arabs, Turks, Mongols, Cossacks, Tatars, Bolsheviks ……… are all waiting to get each a peace of your ass! And then there are Negroes from Africa ….
X: Oh no!
E: Oh yes …
X: have mercy
E: too late boy
X: No…………..
E: Yes………..

I was struggling with Elvis Satan and two of his Demons dressed up as Jordaneers back vocals, really wrestling with these Hellish figures. They were sticking their pitch-forks in my throat and ass, dragging me down the stairs of Twilight, back to Hell, the third Demon was sticking his light fire Torch close to my back and legs once a while and I was screaming; Noooooo stop, I will change, I will turn to a Holy man! It burns!

E: Too late boy
X: no not too late, I give khoms and Zakat, I pray 10 times a day at Mecca's direction, I go to church, mosque, synagogue, temple and every other holy building……
E: The only place you go is straight down boy, and the only person you will see is me the King of Hell!
X: Nooooooooooooooooo

I was struggling with Satan and Demons with pitchforks in my neck and throat, torches on my butt, and suddenly I woke up; what was happening? What's happening, was that I had my one hand around my neck squeezing the life out of my throat and the other hand on my balls, squeezing the life out of my balls! I woke up choking by the neck and by my balls being squished and pressed so hard, in pain and uncomforted I woke up, sweating in pain!

I took a breath and took a deep breath again, swallowed my saliva, wiped up my sweat from my forehead and thanked lord for this to be a nightmare and not reality!

Then I turned around on my big large king size bed to the left, figuring that my main squeeze would be there to grab and French kiss, I turned around and then someone grabbed me, hugged me and got closer to kiss me, but she was not blonde, neither white and soft faced! It was not even a lady, it was a he! Some thing hard and fuzzy touched my face, scratched my face, it was beard and mustache, but a half ass half-grown, not a full beard and mustache, like the owner was not able to have full facial hair, a medical issue! His mouth smelled bad like rotten dead crows, Rotted teeth with one golden one, which blinked at me when he smiled Evilish! A turban too! White Turban, Brown Aba shawl, bald leper hair here and there, mustache and beard, Koose beard and mustache! Shark looking face, smelly body and sweaty head, no no is it! Not him!

Come to your Ex-President, come to your King of Iranian Pistachio, the greatest pistachio farms owner of Iran, The Richest clergy of them all, come to leader of the Moderate Flank of the Islamic Republic, come to Mr. innocent of all crimes, Mr. Progressive, Mr. Wealthiest man in Iran, with a big smile, Come to Sardar-e Sazandegi (Commander of Construction)!

Give your favorite leader a juicy French kiss Ahreeman, and then he stuck his tong out to French kiss me while he was hugging me like a leech hugging to your back with all suction tentacles.

Noooooooooooooooo, it was Rafsanjani with his perverted smile!

Come to big daddy R (Uncle Sharky whispered)…….

This is real, this is not a nightmare no more, I want to go back to sleep, I rather go back to my Hell Nightmare, My "Mid Summer Nightmare"!

(I screamed) Heeeeeeeeeeeeeelp ……………………

Never ending screams ….

Play writer:
Ahreeman-e Shekaste-ye Pir (Old Broken Ahreeman)
aka
Ahreeman Shakespeare

Dr. X

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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