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A Love Letter to a Monarchist!

Monarchist Nowruz Amnesia!
A Love Letter to a Monarchist!
Ahreeman X
March 14, 2008

Dear Badreddin Dayani and Crew:
ONLPI Founder:
ONLPI webmaster:
ONLPI and Sarbaz

How are you buddy? I hope you are healthy, wealthy and gitty! I wanted to point out a little issue to you. How long is it that we know each other? A long long long time, right? So allow me to kindly ask something from you:

On Friday March 11, 2008, you have sent us an e-mail. This was not a Nowruz Greeting e-mail post card to us, but it went like this:

From: Sazeman:
To: Olyahazrat Farah Pahlavi Shahbanooy-e Iran
Cc: Aalahazrat Pahlavi II ,
date: Fri, Mar 14, 2008 at 1:43 PM
subject: Nowruz 2657

Nowruz 2567 Post Card 1

Nowruz 2567 Post Card 2

In other words, you did not send us the card, but you primarily sent it to Farah Pahlavi and then secondarily CCed it to Reza Pahlavi. Finally you were kind enough to include us under the BC (Blind Copy) along with a hundred other people and throw us a bone like a dog to chew on! How sweet of you! When my web mistress (Catayoun Razmjou) handed me your lovely card, it made me ponder. Allow me to make a few pointers:

I. Badreddin Jan, you have created a Nowruz post card from one of my graphic designs:

Sci Fi Faravahar: The Landing of Faravahar Ships

Which you can obviously view it here (bottom of a poem of mine):


and here:

Faravahar Art Gallery 5

And do not even try to say that you had no idea, because I am perfectly aware of you personally being an IPC reader and I know that you have been reading every single one of my articles, books and other works since year 2000!

So basically you have borrowed one of my graphic designs, without even asking, and then you had created a Nowruz greeting card with it and sent it to Farah and Reza Pahlavi! You were not even kind enough to include my name out of the Blind Copy! What am I? The Orphan Boy (Bache Yatim) of the Iranian politics? Actually you did not even send me a copy, but you sent it to IPC Office!

You see, I am not a medical doctor, but I do perfectly understand that there is a rare medical condition, specific to the Monarchists, which is called:

The Necro Monarcho Amnesia
(Dead Monarchist Forgetfulness)

This disease works in this manner:

Monarchist borrows the item without permission
Monarchist uses the item without naming the source who created the item
Monarchist gets caught red handed in action
Monarchist claims that he found the item around the net
Monarchist claims that it is all a big misunderstanding
Monarchist screams innocence

This disease makes the monarchists to borrow items without mentioning it to the owner or even getting permission from him! Once they borrow the items, then they use them as they please, but due to forgetfulness, they simply forget that they had ever borrowed or used these items!

God forbid, I am not stating here that this is theft, but it is a simple misunderstanding, which only occurs to the monarchists! For instance:

Necro Monarcho Amnesia Examples

Foroud Fouladvand, before he became a martyr by the hands of Hezbollah (taking a trip to Turkey, resting on the Mediterranean shores with a tall glass of Pina Colada), used to constantly use my books, articles, photos, graphic designs, etc. in his TV show, without naming the source as IPC or my name.

API Anjoman Padeshahi Iran (Kingdom Assembly of Iran) sites had borrowed my designs without permission and once the Shiite hit the fan, then they simply stated that “They just found the graphics around the net”!

Activist Chat got caught red handed using my design without permission or naming the source. Once caught, they screamed that “It is all a big misunderstanding”!

Reza Pahlavi gets a couple of guys to write a couple of books and then he forgets to put their names on the books, but instead, he tells them to use his name as the author, but then again we don’t want to go there ….. La Elaha Ela Allah!

And the list goes on …….

The funny thing is that all these incidents, always happen to the monarchists!

II. So in other words, you used my design to create a post card for Farah and Reza Pahlavi, without my permission, without naming the source and finally you did not even send me a copy, not even included the IPC e-mail in the title!

Badreddin Jan, you know I loves you, right? You along with Dariush Homayoun and Amir Sepehr are my favorite monarchists, so I would never dare try to insult you and call this act a shameless theft; however, there is a Persian Expression for occasions such as this one, which goes something like this:

Ba kir-e mardom, khanum bazi raftan!
(Going on a date with someone else’s dick!)

So in a way, you went to a traditional “Royal Ball Polishing” (Khayeh Mali-ye Darbari) to polish Farah and Reza Pahlavi’s balls with a borrowed silk handkerchief from me! Or we can say that you went on a date with Farah and Reza, yet via using Haji Kuchike (that’s the Ahreemanic schlong)!

III. Badreddin Jan, if the intention was to polish balls, then please comprehend that:

Farah Pahlavi has no balls and Reza Pahlavi only owns Cotton Balls (Panbehi) or Seedy Balls (Hasteh Khormai), but on the other hand Ahreeman owns gigantic size balls the size of Empire States. Imam Hassan and Imam Hussein (Ahreemanic Testicles) would love to be polished with handkerchief, simply because, due to their humongous size, they are constantly in needs of dusting, washing, and polishing! So why not them? Mageh ma bad wax hal mikonim?

IV. For 3 decades you and other monarchists have been polishing the soft cotton balls of Reza de Nim Pahlavi! Where did it get you? What had Reza Pahlavi ever done for you? What had Reza Pahlavi ever done for anyone? What had Reza Pahlavi ever done for Iran and Iranians?

The ever famous untalented monarchist petty thieves! They crack me up!

On the other hands, I have always been taking care of you and other fellow monarchists:

Why Iran is a Mess? Problem and Solution
Opposition and Up-position

The least that I have done for you was to do great free advertising for you since the year 2000:

ONLPI and Sarbaz

Iranian Political Organizations – Part One

So if any balls are in need of polishing, those would be Imam Hassan and Hussein! They are right in the open now, ready to be massaged (Jamaleshuno eshq ast)! And the polishing is way past due! We will even supply the Persian Silk Handkerchief and the wax!

Babam Jan, all I do is give and give and give, but you don’t even send me a lousy cheap post card!

C’mon Badreddin sing along:

What have you done for me lately?
Whoo whoo whoo ye …
What have you done for me lately?
Whoo whoo whoo ye …
What have you done for me lately?
La La Lay La ….

Ok I guess I stop pulling your shorts and the rest of the monarchists’ underwears, but I simply can’t help myself. Monarchists are the greatest absent-minded jokers of this opposition!

I just lovse lovse loves them monarchists!


Here is an oldie but goody Nowruz present for you and all:

Who wants what for Nowruz

Who loves you Badreddin?
Ahreeman indeed!
Who else?


Gorg Ali dar Qorbat
(Gorg Ali, the Exiled wolf)

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