Who wants what
Persian New Year Humor
Ahreemanic Nowruz Special
March 20, 2007 = Nowruz 2566 Shahanshahi
Persian New Year Nowruz Haft Sin
Which you gotta be quick to get it!
Hello Boys and
Hello Boils and Ghouls!
Happy Persian New Year!
So you want Eydi, haaaaaaa?
Have you been good?!
Well, it is time to ask for your Eydi presents from Poppa Ahreeman!
So without further
Tell Poppa Ahreeman:
Who Wants What for Nowruz?
A new big boned, rough-necked, muscular pasdar boy for Holy Lavat!
A new stock option to buy Bill Gates out of Microsoft!
A new spine and a new smile!
A Hand Book: Not to follow older brother's lead!
Political stability and identity!
Ex Vice President
A Reference Book: How to sleep with useful presidents rather than
A new show on MTV with Paris Hilton, named: "Untalented Sluty
Girls with Rich Daddies"!
An Arabic-Persian Dictionary!
A new face lift!
A new Velayat (land) to move out of Iran!
A new frame for her Piss Nipple Price (Peace Nobel Prize) and a
pair of earplugs to not hear political prisoners' screams!
Less socks Full O Shiite thrown on his grave in his shrine!
A new pitchfork puncture-proof and fireproof suit, which can resist
high temperatures in Hell!
A new flashlight, to find his way out of the well!
Ali ibn al
Kabob ibn al Kubideh!
More Shiite to cry, mope, chest bang, head bang, chain bang and
dagger bang on their heads for Ashura and Tasua!
Couple of modern sensor chip artificial arms and hands to turn to
the "6 Million Dollar Muslim Cyborg Saint"!
Bedeh dar rahe Reza?
A guide for beginners on how to read Quran!
More Israel flags to burn!
More American flags to burn!
More assets, stocks and funds for Kar Gozaran!
A new Civil Society and Rule of Law Slogan!
study students of Houzeye Elmiyeh Qom?
Wooden Dool-Allah necklaces to hang around their necks as decorative
jewelry and to screw themselves in case of emergency (when Hojatol
Eslams are not around)!
New Long Sharp Knives + New Chomaqs (Islamic Baseball Bats)!
New copies of Mein Kampf for how to BlitzKrieg unarmed students!
New Leather Bomb Strap-On Belts!
An Instruction Guide: How to escape accidental plane crashes and
assassinations by the order of Imam, due to fear of a Coup!
An Instruction Guide: How to get their heads out of Imam's ass!
A Clue: 1980s are over, Can You Hear Me Now?!
A News Flash: It is Zeros (2000s), we don't live in 80s anymore!
A Real Shah (other than Mellow Jello Reza de Nim-Pahlavi)!
Derafsh Kaviyani Key Chains to play with!
New Green Islamic colored Lachaks (scarves), because the old Red
ones, are the color of Marxism!
New pans to pan-handle at airports, train stations and bus terminals!
Each pan must be made of copper with a vertical copper hand standing
in the middle of the pan with written inscriptions on it which reads:
"Give for sake of Rajavi"!
A News Flash: Extra Extra ... Stalin is Dead!
A News Flash: Extra Extra ... Hitler is Dead!
A News Flash: Extra Extra ... Khomeini is Dead!
A Hand Book: Reforms and Democracy under Islam is a Myth!
Prestige they never had!
A Guide Book: How to distinguish between Iran and Islam?
Iranian Cultural Identity!
Custom-made T-shirt, which reads: Born Again Reformist - Ex Hezbollah
A ticket out of LaLa Land!
More new promises to give people!
More provided Suitcases for Iranians to pack, because, this time
we are surly going home!
Pair of Balls!
A Real Man!
A new teenage lover!
A copy of: "Make up your mind, Iran or Islam?" Speech
by Ahreeman X!
Generals still Alive?
An Old Fart Banquet in Los Angeles to reminisce about the good old
Statesmen still Alive?
An Opium Den Gathering in Los Angeles, where there will be a lot
of Opium, Vodka, Kabobs, and indeed cries and moans about sufferings
and pains of living in Exile!
A new Lion and Sun Tricolor Lachak scarf!
A 3 hole, Black Ski Mask (The New Al Qaeda Style)!
Boroumand of Jebhe Meli?
A new Deal with Mullahs!
Yazdi of Nehzat Azadi?
The Book: Dreams of Presidency!
A new Opium set [manqal (grill), vafur (pipe), samawar (tea boiler),
An actual fabric Derafsh-e Kaviyani Banner to replace his old cheap
A box of new Hi-Tech Intelligent Ghands (Sugar Cubes) which self
dissolves in the mouth (no extra efforts required)!
A custom-made License Plate: "Born Again Monarchist - Ex SUMKA
Imported Karchak Oil from Qom, for spit shining bald heads!
Sallah al Din's wardrobe!
Shirin Ebadi as a new lawyer for Afterlife Court!
A new garage studio!
An instruction video by Fereydoun Farokhzad on how to be a showman!
More cheese to create cheesy programming!
More Bull Shiite to feed people!
Stars of Iranian Pop Music?
2 Butt Plugs: one to shove/plug their mouths and the 2nd one to
shove/plug their ....!
singers (Bache Kuns) of Los Angeles?
Imported Big Boned, pure breed Persian Donkeys to Frag them up the
Shiiter, so their throats opens up and their voices clears up (Sedashun
A new career in pornography!
"Jendeh Jat" Female Stars of Los Angeles?
Guide Book: "Bitch you can't sing, so move to Hollywood Boulevard!"
A pot full o piss to wash their lyrics with!
A new hair piece!
A soccer ball to play with and a roll of scotch tape for the mouth,
to avoid preaching politics!
A 7 passenger Canoe to row to Iran with his cult, for his next exodus
episode to Iran!
A new Big Black Boy Friend right out of the State Prison!
A new Jet Turbo Dildo model # 747, cause nothing else would do the
A new Bull Dyke, Butch Girl, Iranian Lezbo with hairy legs!
A Kilo of a prime uncut Cocaine!
A stretch bench to stretch and add to her height!
A Big Boned Hairy Iranian Bear to do the Tango with!
and stores in Westwood, LA?
New Iranian Flags with Star of David center piece, to decorate the
"Get out of jail free cards" for selling salvaged cars!
Real Law Degrees!
of Los Angeles?
and Bi-Halls of Los Angeles?
Natural Chinese Herb "Ginsengs" to get energy so they
can get with the program!
Natural Chinese Herb "Ginkgo Biloba" to cure Monarcho-Amnesia,
so they can remember their past actions, promises and lies!
3 Step Program: How to become Iranian again!
Guide book: How to speak Persian and have Iranian National Identity!
Guide book: How to quit drugs, stand up against Islam and commit
to a Revolution!
single girls over 30, still living with their parents?
For God's sake, a husband!
Iranian Traditional mini skirt wearing "Chunky Little Blondes"
with white Abgushti Beefy Thighs!
Effort to kiss their women and tell them that they love them!
Fuel to burn Chadors and Lachaks!
A new Eye to keep on the Rain to irrigate Iranian barren lands!
A new Will, to rise up!
Your Health and Happiness in year 2566!
Now C'mon here and kiss Poppa Ahreeman for Nowruz!
Who loves you
Do you feel
it? Spring is in the air!
New Year to All,
Back to Humor Index