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Chapter 2: Persian New Year Humor & Gallery
 

Who Wants What for Nowruz?
Persian New Year Humor and Gallery: The Sequel – Part 2

Ahreemanic Nowruz Special
Ahreeman X
March 17, 2018 = 2576 Shahanshahi PIY


Nowruz Persian New Year Haft Sin Table of Iran Politics Club


Ahreeman X: Hello Kiddies, come sit around Poppa Ahreeman, for yet another smashing, explosive, Super Duper Nowruz Persian New Year Party, Ahreemanic Style!
Nowruz Party-tun bedam!

Famous Ahreemanic One Liners,
Which you gotta be quick to get it!


Welcome, come on in, take your shoes off, sit down on the Persian Carpet, have some Persian Chai Tea with Cardamom from our Golden Samovar Tea Set, Persian Achaemenid Style! Chai qand pahlu-tun bedam! Ajab atri dareh Haji!

Happy Nowruz Persian New Year 2577 Shahanshahi PIY and Happy Persian Cultural Month of March.

Why Persian Imperial Year (PIY) Iranian Calendar?

Persian Cultural Month of March
An IPC Tradition on Month of March

Nowruz Persian New Year Haft Sin Table
Part 1: Iran Nationalist Haft Sin Table


Ahreeman X
AX: Hello kiddies, howdy? Happy Persian New Year and Nowruz-etan Piruz. As you can see, I am still celebrating Nowruz with a couple of She-Devils, one is mixing me a none-alcoholic drink and the other is serving the cards, watch it baby, I got an Ace up my sleeve. Do not cheat or get out of line because my 38 Special Revolver is on my side. I shoot first and do not even ask questions later! Oh Lord, only if my pal, the drunken GOP Pink Elephant would behave! What can I say? It’s Zoo here in IPC! Now I got a special Nowruz present for all of yous! Try to behave and not to do what we do! Happy Persian New Year to All … Ho ho ho, hey wait a second, that’s not Amu Nowruz, that’s Santa Clause, but what the hell, in Nowruz, everything goes! Enjoy the Festivities kiddies ……

I always keep you in suspense and you always wonder what will I do next and what will I write next, don’t you? Well here it goes, this one for Nowruz. Don’t you ever tell me that I forgot your presents for Nowruz!


Nowruz Persian New Year Imperial Iran Antique Coins
Bia baba, in ham seke-ye shab-e Eyd!

Let’s start the hors d'oeuvre with some cartoons:

Nowruz Persian New Year Haft Sin Cartoons


Nowruz Persian New Year Haft Sin Table of Iran Politics Club
Eyd-e Hamegi Shad, Nowruzetan Piruz
Eyd-e Shoma Mobarak, Domb-e Shoma Se Charak!

So, you boys and girls want Eydi presents again?
Not to worry, I give you Eydi every year,
I even give you Persian Cultural Month’s presents every year!


Nowruz Persian New Year Golden Presents, Persian Style!
Persians love Gold. Purple and Gold are Persian Colors!
Eydi mikhayn? Inam eydi Haji …… Ahreemanic Style!

Well, it has been a long time since I done this routine!
You miss it, don’t you?
I know, because you have been e-mailing me every year!
Due to popular demand and without further delay, here it comes:
Who Wants What for Nowruz?
The Sequel to the Original:

Who wants what for Nowruz?
Persian New Year Humor

Now let’s move on to the main course,


Persian Sweets Pastries
Let’s start with some Shirini …

So, who wants what for Nowruz?
Don’t be shy, tell Poppa Ahreeman?
Ahreeman will try to provide you with what you desire!
Well I’m not Amu Nowruz (Uncle Nowruz) or Santa Clause,
But, I can inform them of what you desire!


Persian Chai Tea Set: Persian Tea with Fresh Mints
And of course, more tea with your sweets.
Chai bedametun Haji ……

Are you ready to Roll?


Ahreemanic Demoness She-Devil:
I’m ready baby, are you ready? Let Ahreeman Rock your Souls!

So, Let’s Roll:


Chunky Little She Demoness: Rock & Roll baby!

Who Wants What for Nowruz?

Imam Khamenei?
A Young Imam Khomeini lookalike pasdar boy with thick moameleh to jump his Holy Buns, and do the nasty, so he could remember the Good Old Times in the backrooms of the Mosque!

President Rouhani?
Book of Mull-Shiite (Mullah Bull Shiite) to hand more Bull Shiite to the masses!

Vice President Massoumeh Ebtekar?
Do it Yourself Manual: How to clean-up the environment, starting by shaving my own privates!

Javad Zarif?
Manual on “How to get rid of Dooli Dahati Persian Qaliz Thick Accent", when speaking English!

Ali Larijani?
A new cheesy smile!

Sadeq Larijani?
Lady Justice with Thick Glasses because she is absolutely blind in Iran!

Jannati?
Grim Reaper!

Shahroudi?
Powerful Laxative “Sulfat Do Sud”, so he’s not always looking constipated and angry!

Ahmadinejad?
Get out of jail Free Card!

Faezeh Hashemi Rafsanjani?
A Thank You Note to Beyond, which reads: Papa is dead, so now I can spend his money!


Persian Baklava with Whole Pistachios
Baqlava ba peste doroste michasbe!
Baqlava-tun bedam Haji … Haj Khanum shoma befarma!

Mousavi?
New Fairy Tale Story Book named: In Dreams of Green Movement – Part 2!

Khatami?
New Novel: “I’m Running Out of Kos O She’r Neo Paths to Reform”!

Khatami Jr.?
Instruction Manual: “Please Teach Me New Excuses on How Reformist Agenda Will Work?”!

Karroubi?
New Autobiography: I Used to be Relevant, or at least I thought I was!

Ali Velayati?
A new Velayat (land) to move out of Iran because the last Velayat didn’t work!

Shirin Ebadi?
Another Bang and Bologna “Piss Nipple Price” (Peace Nobel Prize) Trophy for her fire place shelf and a New self-made DVD titled: We have no more political prisoners in Iran because I freed them all!

Akbar Ganji?
New T-shirt which reads: Born Again Islamic Apologist!

Dr. Ebrahim Yazdi?
An Award: Charlatan of the Century!

Dr. Ahura (Yazidi) Yazdi?
Post it Note: Stop kissing Pahlavis’ Buttocks!

Dr. Manouchehr Ganji?
A New Derafsh-e Kaviyani Movement and Site!


Persian Sohan Asali Badumi Sweets
So crunchy baby. Sohanetun bedam. Ajab tordeh! Dahanetuno shirin konin …

GOP Establishment?
Political Stability!

John McCain?
Political Identity!

Liberal Establishment?
News Flash: Socialism Failed!

Nancy Old Pussy (Nancy Pelosi)?
A Jar to carry her brain, so she won’t forget it during her news conference!

Hillary Rotten Clitoris (Hillary Rodham Clinton)?
Can of Lysol Super Disinfectant to kill her history of infectious dirty deals!

Slick Willie (Bill Clinton)?
A new pants to pullup in public!

Chucky Doll Schumer (Chuck Schumer)?
Artificial Crocodile Tears!

Dicky Turban (Dick Durbin)?
How to Tell the Truth Guide!

Pocahontas (Elizabeth Warren)?
A fake Indian DNA proof from Ancestry.com!

Hussein Obama?
A New Quran!

Michelle Obama?
Final stage of the sex change operation to cut off the manhood!


Persian Ajil Mixed Nuts and Dried Fruits, Nowruz Special
Ajilo bezan Haji, ye kam bokhor, qerech quruch seda bedeh!
Beshkan baba, tokhmeh beshkan, pesteh beshkan!
Beshkan beshkaneh, beshkan! Man nemishkanam, beshkan!

Rafsanjani?
Cooling Ice Pac for Deep Hell Residents!

Khomeini?
New Sign in his Shrine stating: Please throw less socks Full O Shiite (instead of charity money) on my grave in my shrine!

Khalkhali?
New Ice Cool “Preparation H” Hemorrhoidal Medicine to cool his anus due to massive multiple punctures of the Hot Pitchfork in Hell!

12th Imam Mahdi?
 A new voice: Oh, Mighty Allah, when will I find my way out of the well!

Prophet Muhammad?
22nd Child Bride!

Ali ibn al Abi Talib?
Bokonam Tush Mesl-e Qaleb!

Imam Hussein?
Baba let go of my leg for centuries of cry, mope, chest bang, head bang, chain bang and dagger bang on your heads during Ashura and Tasua!

Hazrat-e Abbas?
I have no hands, so let go of my leg too!

Imam Zeyn-ol Abedin-e Bimar?
A bubble to live in it, healthy!

Imam Reza?
A Request: Stop dragging me in to every episode by 24/7 Swearing to my name!


Persian Tahdig Tahchin Morq with Barberries
Khob qaza umad, pashin bezanin be badan …
Zereshk polo morqetun bedam! Haji Tahchin befarma …

Internet Tech Giants?
Rule Book: Censorship is against Democracy!

American Academic Establishment?
A Guide Book: How to not Indoctrinate the kids?!

Donald John Trump?
A Reminder: National Populist Agenda, do not divert from it!

Xi Jinping?
A Memo: I am moving China towards Democracy, that’s why I am erected as the lifetime president!

Vladimir Putin?
A Memo: I already moved Russia beyond Democracy, that’s why my jealous opponents accidentally drop dead all around the globe!

American Media Establishment?
New Super Wipe to wipe the dirt and Shiite off their Shiite-face!

CNN?
Real News!

MSNBC?
A Little News alongside 24/7 Trump bashing!

Rudy Bakhtiar?
Political Self Identity!

Christiane Amanpour?
More gifts from Mullahs of Iran, so she can better justify the IRI cause in the Media!

Asieh Namdar?
A longer tong to lick the Chinese Media Corporate Hypocrites’ butts who bash America and support the Chinese Totalitarian Regime!


Persian Tahdig Potato
Don’t you just love Tahdig? Best part of the rice indeed! Crispy Rice Cake, at the bottom, Persian Style! Tahdig-e Sib Zaminitun bedam!

Shirin Neshat?
Personal Pride, so she doesn’t deny her roots and elders in American Scene but brag about them in the Persian Scene!

Reza Aslan?
Vocabulary Book to learn how to speak like a human being to other humans such as President of United States!

Maz Jobrani?
Some kind of Gray Matter to replace that Shiite for brain to not support IRI Lobby, NIAC, low lives in Hollywood and Liberal hypocrites!

Max Amini?
New funny material!

Shahs of Sunset Cast?
Some Reality!

Reza Farahan of Shahs of Sunset?
A Thick Long Prime Schlong, Qazvini Style!

Hollywood Actors?
Manual: Not to alienate half the cinema fans by lecturing politics!

Hollywood Singers and Musicians?
Manual: Not to alienate half the music fans by blabbing their mouths about politics!

Hollywood Establishment?
A Zipper for Mouth to not bash Trump, so their Cinema, Concert, DVD and CD sales will not drop to Shiite!

Oscars Stars and Academy?
A Shut Mouth about Trump, so their rating doesn’t drop to all time low!

NFL?
New Backbones to Stand the FAQ up during the National Anthem and shut the FAQ up about Trump, so ticket and product sales plus TV rating will not go down to hell!


Persian Tahdig Nun
What a variety of Tahdig we have!
No one in the world makes the Basmati Rice like Persians! The best in the world! I heard the Swiss also make it this way. Long Grain Rice must be boiled, strained and cooked to perfection to create the tahdig at the bottom. Upside down rice cake, Akh joon, nagu dahanam ab oftad!

Anousheh Ansari?
One-way ticket to the Moon to stay there!

Iron Sheik?
A thick boned Real Jahel Wrestler to FAQ him in the Shiiter and make him humble!

Ray Takeyh?
Silicone Lip Injection to get fatter lips for better kissing of Mullahs’ Asses!

Trita Parsi?
A Weasel Body to transplant so it will match his weasel face!

Reza Marashi of NIAC?
A new mask so he could take the Mr. Potato Head mask off!

NIAC Members?
New Money Laundry Methods: Turning IRI Hezbollah money to Clean Money!

Morad Ghorban of PAAIA?
New Gimmick to suck more money out of Mullahs because NIAC is getting the Big Money from Tehran!

Hooshang Amirahmadi?
A New Dream: I will become the IRI President!

AIC members?
More IRI Lobby so they can be relevant amongst the IRI Lobby Orgs in America!

Iman Foundation?
New finger string knot to remember: Get more money from Mullahs in Tehran!

Alavi Foundation?
New finger string knot to remember: Laundry more IRI money in New York!


Persian Rice Tahdig
And of course, more Tahdig, what else?!

Suicide Bombers?
73rd, 73-year-old Virgin!

Muslim men?
5th Child Bride!

Muslim Women?
A Brain to Leave Islam!

Good Muslims?
A Quran to Read, not to Display for Décor!

Muslim Apologists?
“Quran Made Easy Study Book for Young Readers and Mentally Challenged”!

Hezbollah?
New Israel flags to burn!

Ansar-e Hezbollah?
New American flags to burn!

Hezbollah of Lebanon?
More Iranian Rockets to land on Israel!

Hamas?
New White Coffin Jump-Suits with Islamic Shade of Green Leather Bomb Strap-On Belts!

Islamic Fundamentalists?
More posters of Trump to burn!

Islamic Moderates?
“Rafsanjani is Dead, now what are we gonna do?” manual for Kargozaran Party!

Islamic Reformists?
Civil Society for anyone?!


Persian Mix Kabob Tray
Now let’s dig in to Kabobs, the Persian Specialty!
You must have your charbroiled tomatoes, roasted peppers, lemon slices, herbs, vegetables, rice and fries on the side but in the middle of the tray, you design the Persian Kabobs:
Kubideh Kabob, Shishlik Lamb Kabob, Chenjeh Kabob, Jujeh Kabob, Chicken Kubideh, Chicken Barg, should I keep on going? Baba forget the description, just dig in them Kabobs!

Tolab religious study students of Houzeye Elmiyeh Qom?
New Islamically Halaal Manual: How to Erotically Pleasure the Ayatollahs via Islamic Lavat?!

Zeynab Sisters?
More Siqeh Temporary Marriage!

Basij Force?
A Hole to Hide from the Angry Public!

Anti-Riot Police?
New copies of Mussolini’s Book on how to ransack universities and students!

Sepah Pasdaran's Generals?
Publication of a New DVD titled:
Dear Father, Ey Imam, stop accidentally exploding us, your sons, in mid-air plane explosions!
We promise not to coup!

Sepah Pasdaran?
A Dakhil (Holy Reminder) to hang from the ceiling, for not forgetting to get their tongs out of Imam’s Rectum!

Qods Force?
Long Range Intercontinental Ballistic Missiles!

Security Forces?
Inspirational CD Sets: Time to Join the People’s Movement?!

Iranian Up-Position in Exile?
Honorary Citizenship of the LaLa Land!

Iranian Up-Position Leaders in Exile?
More Bull Shiite to feed people!


Persian Mix Kabob Tray, closer look but don’t touch!
No, I’m only kidding, go ahead and dig in but don’t dive in with your head!

Marxists?
Extra Extra: Communism died in early 1990s, how can we move on?!

Socialists?
A Clue: You can’t always spend other people’s money because you will eventually run out!

Monarchists?
A New Shah because the present one, Reza Pahlavi tuned out to be a Gei-Sha (Gay Shah)!

Monarchist Orgs Leaders?
Tong Condoms to cover their tongs while all the way up Reza Pahlavi’s anus!

Jujeh Monarchists?
Lion and Sun Stickers to stick on their cars!

Constitutional Monarchists?
Wake-up Call: Industrial Revolution has passed you by!

Absolutist Monarchists?
Wake-up Call: Arab Caliphate seized existence sometime during the last millennium!

Soosool Boys Wanna Be Persian Nationalists?
New Faravahar Tattoo on their butts!

Soosool Girls Wanna Be Persian Nationalists?
New Faravahar Tattoo on their boobs!

Female Mojaheds?
Two Tone Islamic Lachak Scarves of Red and Green to express True Marxist Islamic Desires!

Male Mojaheds?
New buckets to pan-handle at airports, seaports, train stations and bus terminals with a big colorful closeup photo of Maryam Rajavi wearing her Deep Purple Lachak Scarf while smiling with her newly bleached pearly white teeth!

Fedaian?
A News Flash: Extra Extra ... Stalin Died last century!

SUMKA?
A News Flash: Extra Extra ... Hitler Died Last Century!

Muslim Student Association?
A News Flash: Extra Extra ... Khomeini Died Last Century!

Islamists?
A News Flash: Extra Extra … Muhammad Died over a Millennium Ago!


Persian Chelo Kabob Soltani – Our National Dish
Isn’t that Chelo Kabob smiling?
Barg Kabob (Filet Mignon), Kubideh Kabob (Ground Beef), Charbroiled Tomatoes and Basmati Saffron Rice. That’s what I’m talking about baby!

Jebhe Meli inside Iran?
News Flash: 40 Years passed, Reforms and Democracy under Islam does not work!

Jebhe Meli Leadership?
A New Deal with the IRI Regime!

Jebhe Meli (National Front)?
Paradise Lost!

Hezbe Tudeh (Communist Party)?
Paradise Never Found, to Begin With!

Meli Mazhabi?
A Guide Book: Islam and Iran are Contradictory Terms!

Sam Ghandchi?
A Futuristic Nano DNA Testing System to prove that his ancestors were Alien Futurist Engineers!

Dr. Ali Sina?
A New T Shirt which reads:
“I sacrificed my scientific atheist principles to see the light of Jesus”
And
A New Jesus Fish car trunk decal which reads:
“Born Again Christian Lamb of the Lord”!

Nicholas Ginex?
Philosophical Stability: Evolution or Creation?
And
A New Saint Nicholas Suit!

Farhang Holakouee?
New line of Psycho Babel Kos O She’r to hand people!

Bahram Moshiri?
More Khali Bandi Nonsense!

Alireza Meybodi?
A Time Machine to send him back to the Jurassic Era!

Iranian Political TVs' Talk-Show Hosts?
New Suitcases for Exiled Iranians to pack for going back home, because the old ones rotted!

Iranian Satellite Television Owners?
A new storage locker studio!

Iranian Television Talk Show Hosts?
Talent!

Iranian Radios?
More Cockamamie Bull Shiite to feed the people!

Iranian Exiled Print Media?
More paper to waste!

Iranian Exiled Web Media?
More web space to waste!


Persian Kabob Kubideh
My favorite Persian Dish in Persian Cuisine. Without it, life is meaningless!
Nun o Kabob o Gojeh o Sabzi, to die for! Do you like Nun Kabobi? I love it!

Persian Vegetarians and Vegans?
Persian Cultural Identity: Our Culture is based on Kabobs, don’t be gay!
A Persian Vegetarian is like a dick-less Black!

Iranian Exiled Music Stars?
How to sing guide!

New Rising Stars of Iranian Pop Music?
Guide on how to sing from the anus because singing from the mouth doesn’t work!

Iranian Man-Whore singers (Bache Kunis) of Los Angeles?
Traditional Persian Long Johnson (Ye Chize Koloft)!

Iranian Female Pop Singers?
A New Job!

Iranian New "Jendeh Jat" Female Stars of Los Angeles?
Guide Book: "Bimbo you can't sing, so move to Mustang Ranch Brothel, Las Vegas"!

Iranian Pop music lyricists?
A News Flash: Hafez choked and died when he heard you!

Iranian Actors?
Jobs at Grocery Stores!

Iranian Bache Kuni Night Club Hoppers of Los Angeles?
Personality Stability (Tadavom-e Shakhsiyat)!

Shahram K (Shahram-e Gay)?
A Big Black Thug Boyfriend convicted felon from State Prison named Ham Bone!

Kamran and Hooman?
A Gay Spa full of big boned Persian hairy gay bears!

Googoosh?
Political Stability and Social Identity!

Ramesh?
Hair Trimmer Machine 747 Turbo to trim Extra Hairy Persian Bull Dykes’ privates!

Big Persian Hairy Bull Dyke Lesbians?
Little Cute hairless white Anglo-American girls for surface to surface impacts (Tabaq Zani)!

Shohreh?
Ton of uncut Heroin because the cut Heroin, simply won’t do anymore!

Leila Forouhar?
High Platform Shoes to make up for her midget height!

Sepideh?
Ye kam Feshar (a little push, push in the bush)!

Khordadian?
Not 1 but 2 Thick boned Arabs named Abdul and Obaid to rip a new rectum in his Qaedeh, Arab Style!


Persian Sabzi Polo Mahi: Herbs Rice with White Fish
Traditional Nowruz Persian New Year Food
We finish the typical 10 course Persian Meal entrees and meals with this baby!

Reza Pahlavi II?
New How to Guide: Enlarge Balls and Develop a Back Bone!

Yasmin Pahlavi?
A New Husband!

Pahlavi Family?
Career Exilist Badges!

Empress Farah Pahlavi?
A Decision: Iran or Islam?!

Farahnaz Pahlavi?
A New Persian handmade Opium Pipe (Vafur)!

Imperial Generals still Alive?
A Reunion: Old Farts Gloat Bravery, while handed the Nation to the Islamists!

Imperial Statesmen still Alive?
A Reunion: Old Bags reminisce about pre-1979 Golden Times back in Iran!

Iranian Wealthy Expats?
A Slap on the Mouth: Stop bitching and moaning about how you suffer living in exile, while guzzling caviar and washing it down with champagne!

Iranian Billionaires and Millionaires Expats?
Instruction: How to spend a dime for Freedom of Iran?!

Maryam Rajavi?
A new purple with gold lining Lachak scarf!

Massoud Rajavi?
A New Slogan: I used to be a Terrorist but Now, I am a pacifist (Saddam Hussein Style)!


Persian Sweets: Zoolbia
And now we move on to desserts starting with crispy crunchy Zoolbia! Don’t burst yet, we have more to come!


Persian Sweets: Bamiyeh
How can you eat Zoolbia without her best friend Bamiyeh?!
Damn, these are some oversized Bamiyeh, guaranteed to give you diabetes!
I’m telling you, Persians are victims of their tummy! The complete culture is based on food! They love their cuisine. Can you blame them? Persian Cuisine is the best in the world! Trust me, I have been around the world!


Persian Chai Tea Set, Achaemenian Tea Glass Style!
And of course, more tea because you have to wash down Zoolbia and Bamiyeh with the Persian Cardamom Tea! Are we done yet? Because I am about to burst wide open! At this point in the Persian parties, primarily the belts loosen up, because the pants cannot cover and withhold the belly anymore! Next, the zippers come down and sometimes the whole pants comes off, depending if everyone in the party are close family and friends or not! Of course, you can’t take off your pants in a formal party; however, you never know! At this rate of eating, maybe the underwear comes off too!
So, are we done eating yet?
Yes, not to worry, this brings us to the end of our 10 course Mighty Persian Meal! Nushe Jan!

Iranian businesses and stores in Westwood, LA?
New Silver Minoras to decorate the store window fronts!

Iranian Car Dealers?
I am not a crook, Nixon T Shirts!

Iranian Persian Rug Dealers?
To not sell cheap carpets as antiques!

Iranian Dentists?
To not triple charge people!

Iranian Lawyers?
An ambulance to chase!

Bache Kunis of Los Angeles?
Keep Calm and Kun Bedeh, carved Amber Pendant necklaces!

Bache Riqus and Bi-Halls of Los Angeles?
Dates, Honey and Walnut mixture to get some energy!

Iranian Shiite Muslims?
3 Easy Step Program: How to Regain Iranian Identity!

Iranian-American Youth?
Guide book: Learn Persian Language, Culture, History and Traditions!

Iranian Youth in Iran?
Guide book: Learn How to Uprise Against Islam!

Iranian Torshideh single girls over 30, still living with their parents?
A Hint: Get a Job and Build a Life because there’s No Chance of Hunting Husbands!

Iranian Ugly Fat Girls?
A Black Guy!

Iranian Healthy Men?
3D See Clear Glasses for better “Did Zadan” observation of Chunky Legged, beefy thighed, Mini Skirt wearing girls’ below and above the mini-skirts! 

Iranian Healthy Women?
Dump Hejab and show them healthy bodies!


Nowruz Persian New Year Haft Sin Table
And now we move back to the Haft Sin Table for more munchies! If you got room that is! I am a simple man with a simple Haft Sin Table. My table cloth is a simple Holy Lion and Sun Flag of Iran, my book on the table is Shahnameh the Epic Book of the Persian Kings and the picture of the loved one on my Haft Sin Table is our beloved “Reza Shah the Great” Father of the Nation and the Designer of the Modern Iran. I admire this man because he was also a simple man who lived a simple life. No amount of wealth, luxury and power corrupted him. Before becoming the Shah and after becoming the Shah, he always slept on his thin mattress on the Persian Carpet and on the floor. I am a simple man and I live my life, Reza Khani Style!

Reza Khan, lover of Iran, May his great spirit rests in peace ……

Reza Shah the Great, the Real Story!

Iranian Men?
Love your women and tell them that you do!

Iranian Women?
Try Iranian men, you may like them!

Iranian Kids?
Respect your parents and don’t be gay, not that there’s anything wrong with it (Seinfeld)!

Eye-Rainians?
A new fresh Eye to keep on the sky clouds for Rain to drench the Iranian thirsty and barren lands!

Iranians?
A new determination to end the reign of Islam in Iran!

Persians?
To Stand Firm and Remain Persian!

Nationalists?
To Remain Solid!

National Populists?
To Love Their Nation and to Fight the Establishment!

Lovers of Iran?
Love of Iran!

IPC Readers?
Ahreeman’s Health, so he can publish IPC forever!

Ahreeman?
Your Health and Happiness in the year 2577 Shahanshahi!

Now C'mon here and kiss Poppa Ahreeman for Nowruz!
Ye boos bedeh?

Who loves you babies?
Ahreeman indeed!
Who else?!

Do you feel it? Spring is in the air!

Happy Persian New Year
Nowruzetan Piruz

Dr. X

Who Wants What for Nowruz? - Chapter 1
Who Wants What for Nowruz? - Chapter 2
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