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New Improved Prophets for Persians!
Ahreeman X

1st Edition: June 8, 2007
2nd Edition: August 21, 2016

A Good Muslim praying to Good Prophet Muhammad PBUHB (Peace Be Upon His Bone)!


By "Prophets for Persians Foundation"!
This article is being published in all important Persian net media.

After a long historical brainstorming, your family doctor is offering a Social Service; therefore, we shall post this research in all important Persian Political Net Media! After the fictional story on new Mongolian Religion for Persians by one of our dearly beloved members, also revision and modernization of Islam by our other Neo Muslim members, I began to do a lot of critical thinking. So one day I was sitting and as usual a bright idea came to my mind and a shining light formed above my head, Ding Dong, Daalaang Dooloong, bells began to ring! What a bright idea!

I thought, as long as there are proposals of a new Mongolian Religion and the possibilities of Genghis Khan being a Legal Prophet for Oppressed Persians, also as long as Islam is being revised by Neo Muslims to a humanitarian ideology, then why not go all the way! I mean Genghis Khan was a messenger of God and history had done injustice to him, so why not instead of only revising Islam, simply revise the whole history, especially The History of Iran and Persian Empire.

Now everybody knows that Persian Empire with 8000 years of rich history is the oldest civilization in the world. Starting from Susa Civilization in Khuzestan State of Iran all the way to the present, no other civilization comes close to Persian civilization, China with 5000 and Egypt with 3000 years of history are not even close! However there were a lot of invaders who invaded Persian Empire, on top of them all, Arab Muslims had totally pillaged Iran, destroyed structures, burned books, stole all valuables, raped women and children, killed all men, and even tried to destroy the Persian culture, heritage, religion, traditions, literature, poetry, and even language! Iran survived through many invasions and cultural calamities, yet she managed to get over them and survive; in results, Iran is still here after 8000 years, yet many of those invading cultures do not exist any more! Many thanks to people like Achaemenid Commander Aryo Barzan, Sassanid Arteshbod Rostam Farokhzad, Shahanshah Yazdgird III, Freedom Fighters Babak Khoramdin and Maziar, Anti Arabo-/Muslim post invasion Female Lioness Commando Leaders Negan and Banu, Abu Moslem Khorasani, Yaqub Leis Saffarid the liberator of Iran, Ferdowsi Tusi, Reza Shah The Great Father of Nation, Dr. Ahmad Kasravi, Dr. Kourosh Aryamanesh, and more.....Iran is still Alive and Intact!

One cannot destroy a superior culture like the Persian Culture, which is the Mother Culture for all Indo-European Cultures. Roots are too deep! Persian is the mother language for all Indo-European and Aryan Race Lingos, and the mother culture for all of them cultures as well. Just listen to the sample vocabulary and phonics and look at the Evolution of the Indo-European and then Aryan Races' Languages, which had started from 8000 years ago in Iran, do you see the Persian Roots? Here's a teaser:

Persian: Pedar
Italian: Padre
Spanish: Padre
German: Vater
English: Father

Persian: Madar
Italian: Madre
Spanish: Madre
German: Mutter
English: Mother

and etc.

So I was sitting and thinking by myself about how Persians enjoy living in the Fantasy and making Super Heroes, Imaginary Martyrs, Prophets, Saints, and Imams out of their oppressors! Hey maybe this is a new method in survival! Maybe this is how they managed to survive through thousands of years of invasions from the East, West, North and South! I mean it is true that Persian Empire was once the only Super Power in the World (Achaemenids Dynasty), and then there were also times that Persian Empire ruled Half of the Civilized and Known World (Sassanid Dynasty), but still there were brutal invasions and take overs of the Persian Empire throughout the history. Iran managed to live through it. Maybe by glorifying the oppressor and creating imaginary Prophets and Saint Imams, they have adopted their oppressors as their protectors! Now the question is that, was this a kind of a negative resistance or was this living in LaLa Land and a World of Fantasy?

The Deal

What's The Deal?
So here's The Deal:
Therefore I decided on why stop with Muhammad and Islam? Why not revise the history and go all the way?

So hereby I make a proposal, a Nomination of New Prophets! I do hereby nominate any petty barbarian, lampoon, murderer, lowlife, illiterate, savage, and Bloodsucker who invaded Iran, as a potential New Prophet, and also nominate their Sub Inferior Culture as the Model Culture and their Sidekick follower Dogs as the Saints and Neo Imams for Persians to follow! I mean Persians love to live in Fantasy and not deal with Reality! They simply love to Mourn (Ashura and Tasua), and make Martyrs out of Bandits (Shiite Imams)! So I can give them more reasons to do ceremonies! More days to celebrate foreign barbarian savages' birth-dates, Death Anniversaries, and battle days (What Episodes!)!

I hereby Nominate New Prophets, a whole new line of Martyr Saint Imams, all kinds of New Religions Created from teachings of these bandits! Why stop with Islam, why stop with worshiping only a Black Rock in Kabbah, Mecca, which was originally called Allah?! Why only make Muhammad the bandit, a messenger of God and create a dozen of Saints out of our Rectums? Let me propose to you a dozen of other prophets, their sidekick Saint Imams, and a separate religion created by every single one of these murderers!

I am going to create so many Saints and Martyrs for Persians to make ceremonies, mourning, crying and to reminisce all year long! I mean, as long as Persians love to mourn, cry, and reminisce over some dead murdering Arab Bandits who slaughtered them by the thousands (Ali, Hassan, Hussein), also making Saints out of them, well then let me give you a whole new line of Prophets, Saints, Imams, all coming with their own new Religions for Persians to follow and create teachings, stories, tails of heroism, bravery, and to mourn over their death! A new line of prophets by Ahreeman (I kill me!)!

Let's make Ashura/Tasua/Moharam all year long. Let me give you more reasons to mourn, cry, Sing Marsiyeh "Rowzeh Khani" Holy songs, Chest Banging (Sineh Zani), Chain Banging (Zanjir Zani), Dagger Head Banging (Qameh Zani), and Head Banging (Tu Sar Zani) for some of the most Ruthless Blood Suckers in history of the world, and let's make it all year long. Let everyday be an Ashura, and you can cry everyday, while singing Rowzeh Religious Songs and Reminisce about how these Beasts destroyed your culture and killed your ancestors and for sure banged the hell out of your women and Children!

Brother Olaq: Ya Muhammad al Arab, would you please save us Persians?!
Muhammad: OK Olaq al Ajam, I will have mercy on your souls, Allah is merciful!

Ali, Hassan and Hussein killed your fathers, banged your mothers and raped your sisters, but now you worship them and title them infallible Imams! So by all means, allow me to give you more Prophets and Imams! Cry and mourn Persians, cry forever ……

Namaz Jum'a of Tehran!

I will give you more options, more religions, more reason for mourning, more new heroes and Martyrs, and for sure More New Prophets! I will give you thousand more reasons to cry and bang your heads away, everyday of the year! Please observe and take my proposal serious. I only care about these Masses of Martyr Loving, Religion Following, God Fearing, Cleric Glorifying, Law Abiding Citizens (Omat-e Shahid Parvar)! I only do this for the love of Umma'!

Umma' al Shiite Islam

I hereby propose these New Prophets, mentioning their Lands and Roots, their new religion, the name for their followers of that religion, and their Sidekick Saint Imams. The more blood-thirsty they were, the Imported Religion shall be worshiped more! And this is the Persian Style! Let's start mentioning all the barbarian savages who invaded Iran since the beginning of the history, their motivator dictator Guru, and their Sidekick Lap Dog Generals and Earls, Oops I mean Saints! Actually I am making a foundation: "The Prophet for Persians" Foundation (killer!)!

Now the funny thing is that mostly these nominated prophets had only one Human Imam, sometimes an Animal Doggie Imam, yet Islam had a whole bunch of Imam Saints, and more are getting created in the production line by the minute! The Persian Production Line of Imagination that is! Shiite Islam is so fertile when it comes to Imams! Here we go baby, Hale Luya, I can already see the light, here we go, Prophets by the historical order.

More Prophets = More Shrines & Mourning = More money for Clerics

More Money, Mo Money, Mo Money, Mo Money and Mo Money $ $ $ ......

Nominating New Improved Prophets!

Prophets by the Historical Order of Appearance in Iran!
Researched By: "Prophets for Persians Foundation"

My Proposal for Nomination:

Kulak Sais The Scythian Sak
Roots: Scythian, Skiths (Saka-ha or Sak-ha) [Sag-ha]
Religion: Dog Worship-ism (Sag Parasti) [Dog = Sag]
Followers: Doggists (Sakist-ha, Sag Parastan)
Prophet: Kulak Sais (Kulak kard madare sahab bacharo!)
Imam: His Mix Breed Yellow/White, Yellow Skinned Aryan Dog (Sag-e Zard, a Doggie Imam)

[The Yellow Dog, brother of Jackal AKA Sag-e Zard, Baradar-e Shoqal]

Alexander The Macedonian (Alexandra de Grape)
Roots: Macedonian/Greek (Fruit)
Religion: Analism, Greek Style Back Door-ism (Kun kunak-ism) [Kun Kunak]
Followers: Analists, Gay Bears, Homo Erectors (Kun kunaki-ha) [Obana-ye Qazvin, Qom va Navahi]
Prophet: Alexander The Insane Drunk Homosexual (The Greek Fairy)
Imam: Selecus Nictar (Solukus, His Boy Toy)
, Some Gay Boy on 5th Avenue

Heftalito The Heathen Hittite
Roots: Hittites
Religion: Heathen-ism (Haramzadeh Parasti)
Followers: Heathens (Haramzadegan) [Haroom Loqmeha]
Prophet: Heftalito
Imam: Akhesh-Navar (Khoshk Khoshk Kunak)

Tumen The Hun
Roots: Hun Turks
Religion: Hun-ism, Blood Spillism, Blood Suckerism (Khun-ism, Khun-Khari)
Followers: Hunists, Blood Suckers (Khunists, Khun-Kharan)
Prophet: Tumen The Hun
Imam: Muhan The Hun

Muhammad The Arab Barbarian
Roots: Arab-Muslims (Lizard Eating Nomad Bedouin Desert Savages)
Religion: Islam, AKA: Backwardness Fanaticism (Eslam, Arab Parasti, Aqab Mandegi-ye Fekri)
Followers: Muslims, Arab Worshipers (Mojrems, Arab Parastan, Aqab Mandegan-e Fekri)
Prophet: Muhammad, the all times greatest polygamist, pedophile, murderer, charlatan actor!
Imam: Omar, Osman, Ali, Hassan, Hussein, Ruhollah Khomeini, Sed Ali Khamenei, A Moral Muslim Praying Dog (Sag-e Zard-e Namaz-Khan), Some Neo Arab Bastard (Yek Arab-e Dayus), and more Imams getting created daily by the Umma' of Imam parvar!

Toqrul Beyk The Seljuq Turk
Roots: Seljuq Turks
Religion: Donky Worship-ism, Donky-ism (Olaq Parasti), Khariyat
Followers: Donky Worshipers, Donky-ists (Olaq Parastan), Torkan-e Khar
Prophet: Toqrul Beyk
Imam: Alb Arsalan
, Some Neo Turk Donkey (Yek Khar-e Tork-e Jadid)

Genghis Khan The Mongol Savage
Roots: Mongols (Retarded Turkish Oriental Barbarians)
Religion: Mongolism, Mongrelization-ism (Vahshi Parasti, Eqlan [like Eslam], Moqolism, Aqab Oftadegi-ye Zehni)
Followers: Mongols, Mongrels (Vohush, Moqlem [like Moslem], Moqalman [like Mosalman], Mooqool)
Prophet: Ghingis Khan (Changiz-e Moqol, The Great Leech), Khun Khar-e Kabir
Imam: Hulagu Khan
, Ye Moqol-e Kos Kesh-e Dige

Timur Lang The Turkmen Blood-Sucker
Roots: Taimuri Turkmens
Religion: Tribalism, Bedouinism (Torkestanism, Qozism, Badaviyat), Jenayat
Followers: Tribalists, Bedouists, Murderers(Chador Neshinan, Qoz-ha, Badaviha), Janiha
Prophet: Amir Taimur-e Lang The Crippled (Taimur-e Cholaq-e Jani), Adam Kosh-e Cholaq
Imam: His Lap Turkish Dog with Rabies (Sag-e Har-e Taimuri, this religion has a Doggie Imam, so you must worship the dog!)

Mahmoud Afghan The Animal
Roots: Ghalzay Afghans
Religion: Barbarianism, AKA: Taliban Ancestor-ism, Hick Worship (Vahshigariye Dari, Dahati Parasti)
Followers: Taliban, Afghan Barbarian Fanatical Muslims, Hicks (Vohush-e Dari, Dahatian)
Prophet: Mahmoud Afghan AKA Taliban's Godfather (Pedar Bozorg-e Taliban)
Imam: Ashraf Afghan
AKA Taliban's Small-father

Persians just love their prophets!

Some dog becomes road kill in the freeway and next thing you know, Persians burry the dog, build a mausoleum and create a shrine over the mausoleum. After a while the new shrine becomes a place of pilgrimage and worship! Next thing you know, Emamzadeh Sagollah (Shrine of the Dog of Allah) is born and Sagollah will become a sidekick Imam for the ever loving Shiite Umma’ to worship, mourn his death, cry and even head bang and chest bang for him on Ashura!

More money, mo money, mo money and mo money for Shiite charities and clerics to be made!

What can I say?

The Persian expression states:

Ta khar dar jahan baqist,
Mofles dar nemimanad!

(Until there are donkeys [idiots] in the world,
The poor [clerics] will survive and thrive!)

Allah is passionate and merciful!

Happy Mourning Days all year long boys and girls.... and more will come up in the future. I am sure these Martyr Saint loving Masses, these God Fearing masses, this Omat-e shahid Parvar va hamishe hazer va hamishe dar sahneh, will help me to create more Holy Saints and Prophets for them! What an episode (riot)!

Until then,
Your Chairman on "Prophets for Persians Foundation",
And your family Doctor,

With Loves,

Dr. X

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