Scattered Persian Jokes!
September 25, 2007
Allow me to jump start your day with our
menu and serve you our today's IPC special:
"Breakfast ala Ahreeman", Bon appetite!
Benson & Hedges or British Airways?
A mother had
3 virgin daughters. They were all getting married within a short
time period. Because Mum was a bit worried about how their sex
lives would get started, she made them all promise to send a postcard
from the honeymoon with a few words on how marital sex felt.
girl sent a card from Hawaii two days after the wedding. The Card
said nothing but "Nescafe". Mum was puzzled at
first, but then went to the kitchen and got out the Nescafe jar.
It said: "Good till the last drop." Mum blushed,
but was pleased for her daughter.
girl sent the card from Vermont a week after the wedding, and
the card read: "Benson & Hedges". The mum
went straight to her husband's cigarettes, and she read from the
Benson & Hedges pack: "Extra Long. King Size."
She was again slightly embarrassed but still happy for her daughter.
girl left for her honeymoon in the Caribbean. Mum waited for a
week, nothing. Another week went by and still nothing. Then after
a whole month, a card finally arrived. Written on it with shaky
handwriting were the words: "British Airways".
Mum took out her weekly magazine, flipped through the pages fearing
the worst, and finally found the ad for British Airways. The ad
said: "Three times a day, seven days a week, both ways."
Laden has a heart attack and dies. He immediately goes to hell,
where the devil is waiting for him.
know what to do here," the devil says.
"You're on my list, but I have no room for you. But you definitely
have to stay here, so I'll tell you
what I'm going to do: I've got a few people here who weren't quite
as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their
place. I'll even let YOU decide who leaves."
that sounded pretty good, so the devil led him into the first
In it was
Manuel Noriega and a large pool of water. He kept diving in and
surfacing empty-handed. Over and over and over. Such was his fate
bin Laden said, "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer
and I don't think I could do that all day long."
So the devil
led him to the next room. In it was the Ayatollah Khomeini with
a sledgehammer and a huge pile of rocks. All he did was swing
that hammer, time after time after time.
I've got this problem with my shoulder. I'd be in constant agony
if all I did was break rocks all day," bin Laden commented.
So the devil
opened a third door. In it, bin Laden saw Bill Clinton, lying
on the floor with his arms staked over his head and his legs staked
in a spread-eagle pose. Bent over him was his girl Monica, doing
what she does best. Osama bin Laden stared in disbelief and finally
said, "Yeah, I can handle this."
smiled and said, "OK, Monica, you're free to go."
I just got
back from university and while there; I was talking to older students:
Hi folks, say, are you a retired serviceman?
Joe: Yes professor, US Marine Corps 2002.
X: Are you a retired serviceman?
Jim: Yes sir, US Airforce 2002.
X: How about you, are you a retired
Habib: Yes indeed professor, Republican Guard, Iraq
X: ...... sigh, gulp!
X: Hmmmmmmmmm, Well All righty then! You don't say?!
Habib: Oh ye, the war was over, no sense staying in Iraq,
so I moved to America to go to school!
that was totally unexpected and awesome!)
3 guys, an
American, a Japanese and a Turkish Iranian (Azeri) were discussing
We are so hi tech that we have a receiver implanted in our hand.
We hold our hand near our face, with the thumb near the ear and
the pinky near the mouth, similar as a cell phone. The satellite
starts transmitting and then we start talking same as on the cell
phone! The model, depending on people's preferences comes with
the receiver in the left or the right hand! So we use our hands
as a cell phone!
Pattuyee..... That's nothing! We do it handless! We implant a
chip behind our ear and another chip in our back tooth and we
just start talking, same as a cell phone! Beat that if you can?!
started to think and think and think ............... "What
the hell am I going to say to beat that?!" (he told himself)!
"Hmmmmmmm................., Aha got it!" (he yelled)!
Suddenly Azeri started jumping up and down, round and round...........
and while jumping up and down, he started farting loudly! Qart....Qoort,
and Japanese: What the hell are you doing?!
Quiet down, silence .......... The Fax is coming!
Azeri: Tell me who's the most Hi Tech nation now?
2 girls were
discussing their boyfriends with one another.
How do you distinguish between all your boyfriends?
Fati: I don't have many boyfriends,
I only have 4!
Sisi: Still, how can you tell the difference at times?
Fati: Well I give them the nicknames
of Soda Pops!
Sisi: Soda Pops?
Fati: You know, Soft Drinks.
Sisi: Oh OK, so tell me?
Fati: The 1st boyfriend is always
Up at 7 AM (pointing at her privates), so I call him "7
Sisi: Wow, how about the others?
Fati: The 2nd boyfriend, when he
Do me, he's like a Mountain, so I call him "Mountain Dew"!
Sisi: Wow, how about the other ones?
Fati: The 3rd boyfriend, In mornings
when the Sun comes up, he kisses me down there, so I call him
Sisi: Oh girl, you got it going
how about the last
Fati: I call the 4th one "Jack
Sisi: But that's not a Soft Drink, that is a Hard Liquor
Good Day Folks