Khomeini on Islam
Religious Teachings of:
Bathroom Laws and Regulations
Republished: December 5, 2007
L. No Shiite sign!
R. Ayatollah Khomeini: Thank you Allah for making me the Shah!
Ruhollah Khomeini was the founder and the first Supreme Clerical
and Social Leader of the Islamic Republic of Iran."
from "Resaleh" (Towzih ol Masael) Book of Ayatollah
Have in mind
that these are the true words of The Leader and Founder of The
Islamic Republic of Iran, the first Supreme Cleric and Social
Leader of IRI. Ayatollah Khomeini is also one of the Greatest
Imams (Saints) of the Shiite Islam in the Whole Wide World.
In the past,
I wrote a few parts series about writings of Ayatollah Khomeini
in his famous book "Resaleh" and his views on sex, specifically
sex with a nine year old child and how to pay and how much to
pay or not to pay for damaging the child's vagina, or marry and
not to marry her as a Siqeh, in a temporary wedding.
Islamically Correct Toilet Training
Now I shall
mention a few of Ayatollah's famous hints on the chapter related
to "How to Behave in the Bathroom, Islamic Way"!
Many of you
already know about this famous chapter of Khomeini's book, the
ones who had never read the book, please go and buy it, even if
you have to read it as humor only to laugh!
begins talking about how to enter the bathroom, with what foot
first and what foot second, and then how to sit on the toilet,
with what foot first and what foot second to be Islamically proper!
Islamically Correct Bathroom Geography!
Then he goes
on through paragraphs about in what position to sit on the toilet,
one must sit on the toilet not facing the Holy Kabbah in Mecca,
also not to show his Moameleh (tools) towards the Mecca in Saudi
Arabia, cause showing your Haji Kuchike or schlong towards Mecca
is Haraam (Religiously Forbidden), however if sitting down towards
Mecca and showing your Shambool towards it while doing number
two or one, yet covering it with your hands while doing your business,
is Macrooh (Religiously not recommended, yet fine). It is also
not OK to turn your back to Mecca while taking a dump! It is not
polite to show your Anus to House of Allah! So technically one
should first find out in what direction is Mecca, it all depends
that where are you located (in the world) while taking the dump!
If you are in San Diego, you need to know not to face the South
East nor back to the South East while Shiiting all over the bathroom!
Other wise it might be Macrooh even Haraam (Religiously forbidden)!
So if you want to take a Halaal (Religiously OK) dump, you need
to study and know your Geography of the bathroom, which you are
about to take the dump in! Now all this is fine, but what if you
are vacationing or in a Foreign land, or city?! You need to somehow
know the Geography of the Toilet!
I guess Ayatollah
means that all people should carry a compass or Thomas Guide Map
Book, before entering a strange bathroom! Do not worry about the
toilet paper, or soap or water, yet make sure that you got your
compass and map when visiting a strange toilet!
Islamically Correct Butt Wash!
Then The Great
Saint of Islam, the holy Imam Khomeini, continues about the way
to wash the Ass, Islamic way!
that when taking the dump and ready to wash your Ass, either with
the Aftabeh (Islamic Toilet Pitcher) full of water, or a Water
Hose connected to the wall (modern Ass Wash), one must first make
sure that he caresses his hand movements from the back of the
butt between the butt Cheeks, towards the front until he hits
the balls (Roundels)! Cause if he does this gentle movement vise
versa (front to back), then he might not properly clean himself
and take pieces of Doodoo to the back area of the buns! And the
wrong method might not truly clean the between cheeks area; therefore,
if he does prayer (Salath) later, the prayer will not be true,
and it might become false (Batel)!
Islamically Correct Butt Fingering!
holding the toilet pitcher with one hand and washing your Hiney
with the other one, you need to make sure that first you must
use "The Middle Finger" and for sure recommended to
stick 2/3 of your middle finger (Do Sols) in your butt hole, three
or so times and then caress your between butt cheeks forward towards
your balls, three times!
2/3 of the
middle finger, then with full hand rubbing towards the front area
between your butt is religiously crucial! If not, your cleaning,
Qosl (Islamic shower), or Vozu (Wash before prayer) or Taharat
(Islamic Butt Wipe) will not be done properly; therefore, your
prayer might end up being False (Batel), so you shall read it
So on each
Taharat you must stick 2/3 of your middle finger 3 times in your
butt hole and then rub it 3 times from the hole all the way to
your balls! Oh, and women should do it backwards, from the hole
to the back of the butt, because if they bring it on forwards,
they may get Doodoo in their Poonani!
Yup, men should
butt wash in the direction of back-forth and women must butt wash
in the direction of forth-back! Are you guys taking notes or what?
I am trying to enlighten yous? Welcome to Shiite Islam! Are you
getting all of this or do you want me to draw diagrams?
there are also Shiite Diagrams available for all good Shiites
on how to take a Shiite! You see, Shiite Muslim are in need of
Marja' Taqlid and Velayat-e Faqih (Supreme Religious Leadership)
to follow his every move or else they will be lost!
OK this is
all fine and dandy, but now imagine a few things:
By the time
a good Muslim in a foreign Land studies the Geography of the Bathroom
and the angle of the toilet in relation to Mecca, his number two
or number one might go up and he might not even have to nor can
go any more! Or worst, he might dirty his pants and underwear!
is the issue with the 2/3 of the middle finger! Imagine sticking
that much finger in your butt holio, everytime you go to the bathroom!
Boy, one can become Gay by sticking them fingers up and down his
rectum! He might actually like it, you know, men have their prostate
there and it is gentle, why do you think Gays enjoy doing it that
way so much!? Hey no wonder all the holy Tolab students, Hojatol
Eslams, and Ayatollahs are all in to homosexual Activities, it
is all according to The Book! Islam actually turns you gay, but
then they hang you for being gay! All the holy Muslim clerics
are gay, but then they release Fatwa against the gays! What hypocrites!
On the other hand, transsexuality is allowed and recommended (according
to Ayatollah Khomeini)! Today's Iran is transsexual heaven and
the center for the cheapest transsexual operations in the globe!
Isn't Islam great? This religion is one large Islamic Bangarooni
for the Kunis!
himself was the Boy Toy of Imam Khomeini! In the old days, the
duo posters of Shah and Farah were all over Iranian cities' walls.
Today there are the duo posters of Khomeini and Khamenei all over
the Iranian cities' walls!
"Shah and Farah" are "Khomeini and Khamenei",
well except that these Shah and Farah are Gays! Allah is merciful!
I bet with you, if the Great Saint and Martyr of Islam, The Great
Shiatsu, Oops I mean The Great Shiite, Ayatollah Khomeini would
have only talked half of what he had mentioned about Sex with
Under Aged Girls and Children, How to Repair Children's Damaged
and not fully grown Vaginas, how sodomizing little girls in the
butt is Halaal but boning small vagina is not, how to enter, sit,
dump, and clean your Ass in the Bathroom, and on and on.......
Now only if he would talk as half of all this about Bull Shiite,
yet only about The Economy, Society, Politics, Philosophy, etc.
Maybe Iran, other Shiite Nations, and other Islamic Nations in
Middle East and North Africa would have not been so Screwed Up
Only if the
Great Saint Imam Khomeini would have talked a few chapters about
Economical problems, instead of little girls' poontangs and Guys'
Corn Holes and 2/3 finger issues, maybe Iran's Economy and Social
Status would have been semi sufficient!
But then what
do you expect from a group of Religious Mullahs of Uneducated
and Horny Toads?! Did you possibly expect them to write about
Actual Social Issues?
Just a thought, imagine A Founder of a new political or Social
Ideology like Marx, Engels, Mussolini, Hitler, Adam Smith, Thomas
Jefferson, or others would have talked about the same issues that
Khomeini talked about in their books! Imagine if Marx would
have talked about how to wash Ass in German Society, the Proletariat
Way! I'm telling ya, Marx was so naïve and primitive not
releasing a few chapters on how to wash ass or bang butts in Das
Kapital! How about Hitler? Imagine if Hitler would have
talked about how to butt wipe, National Socialistic way! Wouldn't
then Mine Kampf be more colorful?!
Yes, my friends,
these are the reasons that Europe is Europe, America is America,
Japan is Japan, and United States will soon Land Human on Mars
...... and then Iran is where it is today!
US is seeking
salvation in "Space Exploration" for human's future
ecological space and resources to live and survive, and then Iran
is seeking salvation in "Rectum and 2/3 fingering of the
holes" or "Banging 9 year old girls' vaginas, the correct
and Islamic way" and in accordance to the jokes of the books
such as Quran, Nahjol Bilaqah, Resaleh, and etc.
For more beautiful
tales of Imam Khomeini on Bathroom Behaviors, Laws and Regulations,
also toilet training the Shiite, please go to the IPC Persian
Library and read the complete Resaleh:
Yes, my friends
this is why the civilized world is going to the Mars and Iran
is going to the Rectum! US is discovering the universe, expanding
robotics, completing computer science, and Iran is concerned about
women covering their hair and legs with Chador and Hejab so the
men will not get an instantaneous combustion of orgasmic climax
and wet themselves! Let's spend half of the budget on buying used
up Military junk from China and Russia and send the other half
to Mullahs' Bank Accounts in Swiss and Caymans, let's see how
fast can we Absolutely Screw Up and Deform, Degenerate, and Transform
the superior Persian culture in to an Islamic Shiite hole?
of a Nation, how fast and how long does it take? Is 29 years enough
to Destroy a Nation?! Or do we need to give Mullahs more time?!
Iran, people await for Imam Khamenei to observe with his telescope,
and figure out the exact time when the Moon is aligned with Bull
Crap (Qamar dar Aqrab) and astrologically correct to release the
exact time for Eid Fetr (Eid ul Fitr) celebrations during Ramadan
and Muharram! Every day people look up on their Marja' Taqlid
(Supreme Spiritual Leader), Imam Khamenei to declare the exact
time for the Eid, so they can celebrate!
In the west,
people are in to technology, but in Iran our people are in to
astrology, superstition and religious garbage!
I told you?
of Iran is the government of Hamals (Porters) and Ramals
(Fortune Tellers)! Hamal like Ahmadinejad and Ramal like Khamenei!
Yes my friends, the government of Hamals and Ramals for the Morons!
This is today's
Iran, thanks to Glory of Islam!
Islam, religion of Bull Shiite by the Bulls (Imams) for the Shiite!
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