Persian Reggae-Latin Band!
May 24, 2007
Hello Boils and Gouls!
Are yous ready to read yet another Ahreemanic Musical Review?
Well sit back, relax, eyes zoomed to the monitor and allow me to
enlighten you. Let the sermons begin:
Start of the
Persian Reggae you asked? Yes, you heard it right! Ain't that
cool? In the past, and as far as I can recall, there were a few
Persian Reggae songs and the most famous one was "Hamkhuneh"
(House Mate) a duo by Jacklin and Martik. But now, we are talking
about a Persian Reggae Band and a full album of Reggae and Latin
music! Can you believe it?
As you know,
I am 100% against the Mainstream Typical 6/8 Beat Persian Bull Shiite
Music! Actually I cannot stand it! To tell you the truth, I do not
even listen to the commercial Persian music. The only time you can
find me listening to the Mainstream Persian music is in times of
constipation, thus the 6/8 Beat makes my stomach to run! It works
as a great fundamental laxative and better than Dulcolax, Exlax
or Mozhel, maybe Sulfat Do Sud!
I have been
telling you that it is your national duty to support the Underground
Persian Music so we can finally and together bring them above the
ground! The Persian Underground music is basically what is worth
listening in the Persian music!
when I listen to Persian music, it is either
such as Aminollah Hussein
Traditional such as Parissa
New Age such as Shardad Rohani
Old Pop Masters such as Ebi, Dariush, Farhad and Fereydoun
You will never ever forever catch me listening to the mainstream
garbage 6/8 Beat Persian Cheesy Music! Well, except when I have
If you do not
believe me, then please listen to a great authority in Persian Music,
specifically the OPCMS (Old Persian Crapy Music Syndrome),
Dr. Frank J. Suckdasti!
Dr. Frank J. SuckDasti, music historian, medical professional, great
scholar and propaganda minister of the Abjeez Band.
I am sure there
are many of you Suckdasts out there! However, Dr. Frank J. Suckdasti
is an authority in Suckdasting (Suck + Dast) if you know
what I mean?!
J. Suckdasti is a musical authority, medical wizard, a music
historian, and a professional scholar who has done much research
on how to relieve you (The Persian New Generation) from the Sucky
Music (Mainstream Commercial Persian Music); therefore, to save
Ladies and gentleman,
before reading the rest of this article, please observe Dr. Frank
J. Suckdasti on OPCMS (Old Persian Crappy Music Syndrome):
Frank J. Suckdasti - Abjeez Propaganda Minister
So as you see,
Mainstream Commercial Persian Music = You Suck (You end up Sucking)
Listening to Persian Underground Music = You're cool (You end up
The Choice is yours?
Are you sick
of the mainstream Persian music?
Does this music
makes you feel like this:
Does this music
makes you look like this:
Do you want
to feel like this:
Do you want
to look like this:
Are you seeking
an alternative solution:
Are you fishing
for something new:
Now, who are
Abjeez, The Band
Abjeez are originally
an Iranian Swedish Band.
(Abjeeloo): Vocals, Guitar and Music composition
Melody Safavi (Abjeezooloo): Vocals and Lyrics
Johan Moberg (Javan): Guitar
Erland Hoffgard (Ardalan): Bass
Robin Cochrane (Ramin): Drums
Paulo Murga (Pahlevan): Percussion
Sufi Safavi (el Diablito): Sound engineer
Safoura and Melody Safavi of Abjeez Band in their Qajar Getup
The Abjeez Band in Qajar Getup
Safavi sisters organized the band. Safoura (Abjeeloo) composes the
music and Melody (Abjeezooloo) writes the lyrics. Then they have
a number of talented musicians as Abjeez Band who accompanies them.
Dig the nicknames (Abjeeloo and Abjeezooloo)! Of course
their Propaganda Minister (Dr. Suckdasti) also has a nickname: Abji
Zaloo (Sister Leech)!
has a background of classical guitar. Safoura has studied music
at Hvitfeldtska School of music in Gothenburg (Sweden), and continued
her studies at Fundacion Christina Heeren del arte flamenco in Seville,
Spain and she specialized in flamenco guitar and vocals. She is
a fine guitar player with style of her own.
is a lyricist and a painter. She studied Social studies at Middsweden
University in Sweden and currently works in the field of media.
I bet with you
Safavi Sisters were the Black Sheeps of the family and community!
Anyone producing cool music like this, must have been a black Sheep!
Abjeez, The Music
Abjeez are the
first official Persian Reggae Band. They play Reggae, Latin, Flamenco
and Jazz. The lyrics are funny, meaningful, full of social criticism
and somewhat political! The music is a breath of fresh air and something
different. Abjeez music is a break from the average 6/8 beat!
Two Issues Which I Have with the Abjeez!
Dear sisters Abjeeloo and Abjeezooloo, please come out of the
closet! You refer to your music as "Persian World Pop":
Samples (CD Baby)
The hell is
the Persian World Pop? Is this something you have created out of
.. Allah o Akbar, Astakhforallah! Salavat befrestin!
Baba jan, what
the hell is the Persian World Pop?
Now let me tell
you why you are branding yourselves as Persian World Pop?
Why Abjeez are Still in The Closet?
Abjeez is basically
a Reggae Band. Half of their first album is Reggae and the other
half is Latin, a mixture of Flamenco and Latin Jazz. Abjeez is a
Reggae Latin Band. Now why the sisters are not just coming out of
the closet (Musical Closet) and say it loud and say it proud that
they are a Reggae Band? Because they are afraid that you folks (Iranian
Young Generation) may Boksovat (stick shift jam) and cannot
digest and dig a Persian Reggae Band! Well, Abjeez must certainly
come out of the closet and face the music!
not to worry, the Neo Persian Generation loves Reggae and Latin.
They will not freak out! Actually if you name your style correctly,
they will buy more albums. So stop referring to yourselves as:
You are neither
a Pop Band, nor a World Music Band! But you are Persian! Well, at
least the sisters are! Where the hell did you get this term? I cannot
stand it when Persian Bands start naming their styles as bizarre
terminologies! What the hell are:
Just come right
out and say it that you are a Heavy Metal Band or a Rock Band or
a Pop Band and in Abjeez case, you are a Reggae Band. Where the
hell do you get these terms from? Come out of the closet, no need
to be scared! Come on right out sisters and do it now before it
gets too late! You are underestimating the musical intelligence
of the Neo Persian Generation. They are much sophisticated and terms
such as "Persian World Pop" does not fly with them! When
you call yourselves "Persian World Pop", then the kids
will assume that you are some kind of "nut jobs" like
these cheesy Iranian bands who play amplified Santoor and electric
Kamancheh, mix traditional, new age and electronic music and create
a meditation symphony for the basket cases to listen to and go in
trans! Get off it!
you keep on calling yourselves a "Persian World Pop" band,
then your record sales will drop because it gives a wrong impression
about your music! Just say it loud and say it proud,
are a Reggae Latin Band.
Come out of the closet!
make me Jeez you
Make you Self Jeez yourselves
Check with Dr.
Suckdasti and I am sure that he will give you the same advice!
My second issue with you gals is your album cover! I totally
understand that you are trying to be "Artistic" by creating
a book-like or Newspaper-like Box-set type of album, but you know
Unless an album
is in the Jewel Case (plastic cover), it is not an album with me!
I just hate cardboard creative cases! I have to cut apart the damn
album case and fit it in a Jewel Case. A CD needs to be in a CD
Jewel Case or else I have to get one of my own and reconstruct
your album to fit in it! Why you ask? Because a CD not in the Jewel
Case will get dirty, dusty and it simply is abnormal and gets on
my nerves! I am an obsessive-compulsive perfectionist (just surf
the IPC Website and see). Everything must be perfect and in order!
Even when I
purchase Pink Floyd, Ozzy Osbourne, Yes, and Led Zeppelin albums
in box sets, I freak out, because I have to cut them out and reformat
them in few CD Jewel Cases.
For God's sake,
don't be creative and put your next album in a CD Jewel Case or
I will Jeez (pin you with Javaldouz) you! Get it?
I will Jeez
the Abjeez (riot, killer, murder)!
from your cheesy term, which you have branded your music by it,
and your cardboard case, I have no problem with you.
So come out
of the closet and proudly state that you are a Reggae Latin Band
and also publish your next CD with a Jewel Box!
Abjeez opens the door to Diplomacy!
I think he is eating chelo kabob and he is not giving me any!
As a music historian,
music collector, musician, and a person who understands music,
I strongly recommend you to purchase the Abjeez Album, go to
their concerts and support them. The lyrics, the beat, the music,
guitar riffs, base chords, creativity and the whole shebang are
awesome. They just had a concert and they opened up for Kiosk. This
is not your Grand Mother's cheesy 6/8 Beat Persian Band! Support
them because we need to Revolutionaize the Persian Music.
One Way Ticket to Freedomistan!
Productions because they publish the meaningful and musically
worthy Persian Underground Rock, Metal, Blues, Reggae and Pop music.
It is your national duty to support Bamahang Productions. These
are some cool musicians fed up with the commercial Persian Music
and trying to "Change" things so Iranians can once more
listen to the Persian Music. Or else, no one (New Generation) will
listen to the present mainstream Persian crap! Support Persian Underground,
Bamahang and the great new artists.
I also want
to strongly recommend the CD Baby company as a reliable and
responsible company. It is an independent company with excellent
record in shipping and handling with care, great selections and
I must say that I like yous! I barely like anybody in the present
Persian Music, but I like yous!
Hameh, The Abjeez Daily Paper
Headline: Abjeez ignores UN Deadline!
Listen to Abjeez sample songs
Samples (CD Baby)
Watch some Abjeez Videos
In this video
(Eddea), they dress in Qajar Theme and blast the Reggae Music!
- Eddea Video
- Khastegari (Arranged Marriage) Video
- Iranian National Team Clip
Links which you must check out and not miss
(like Namaz and Roozeh)!
Productions (CD Baby)
it is relevant and meaningful music, then it is in IPC."
And this brings
me to the end of my musical sermon to yous!
Now run along kiddies, run along Stay Real and Rock On!
End of the Musical Sermon!
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