Hello Kiddies!
Hello Boils and Gouls!
Are yous ready to read yet another Ahreemanic Musical Review?
Well sit back, relax, eyes zoomed to the monitor and allow me to enlighten you. Let the sermons begin:

Start of the Musical Sermon

Persian Reggae you asked? Yes, you heard it right! Ain't that cool? In the past, and as far as I can recall, there were a few Persian Reggae songs and the most famous one was "Hamkhuneh" (House Mate) a duo by Jacklin and Martik. But now, we are talking about a Persian Reggae Band and a full album of Reggae and Latin music! Can you believe it?

Abjeez in concert

As you know, I am 100% against the Mainstream Typical 6/8 Beat Persian Bull Shiite Music! Actually I cannot stand it! To tell you the truth, I do not even listen to the commercial Persian music. The only time you can find me listening to the Mainstream Persian music is in times of constipation, thus the 6/8 Beat makes my stomach to run! It works as a great fundamental laxative and better than Dulcolax, Exlax or Mozhel, maybe Sulfat Do Sud!

I have been telling you that it is your national duty to support the Underground Persian Music so we can finally and together bring them above the ground! The Persian Underground music is basically what is worth listening in the Persian music!

Personally, when I listen to Persian music, it is either

Classical such as Aminollah Hussein
Traditional such as Parissa
New Age such as Shardad Rohani
Or
Old Pop Masters such as Ebi, Dariush, Farhad and Fereydoun Foroughi
But
You will never ever forever catch me listening to the mainstream garbage 6/8 Beat Persian Cheesy Music! Well, except when I have constipation!

If you do not believe me, then please listen to a great authority in Persian Music, specifically the OPCMS (Old Persian Crapy Music Syndrome), Dr. Frank J. Suckdasti!

Dr. Frank J. SuckDasti, music historian, medical professional, great scholar and propaganda minister of the Abjeez Band.

I am sure there are many of you Suckdasts out there! However, Dr. Frank J. Suckdasti is an authority in Suckdasting (Suck + Dast) if you know what I mean?!

Dr. Frank J. Suckdasti is a musical authority, medical wizard, a music historian, and a professional scholar who has done much research on how to relieve you (The Persian New Generation) from the Sucky Music (Mainstream Commercial Persian Music); therefore, to save your souls!

Ladies and gentleman, before reading the rest of this article, please observe Dr. Frank J. Suckdasti on OPCMS (Old Persian Crappy Music Syndrome):

Dr. Frank J. Suckdasti - Abjeez Propaganda Minister

So as you see,

Listening to Mainstream Commercial Persian Music = You Suck (You end up Sucking)
Listening to Persian Underground Music = You're cool (You end up Cool)
The Choice is yours?

Are you sick of the mainstream Persian music?

Does this music makes you feel like this:

Does this music makes you look like this:

Do you want to feel like this:

Do you want to look like this:

Are you seeking an alternative solution:

Are you fishing for something new:

Well, there is hope!

Now, who are Abjeez?

Abjeez, The Band

Abjeez are originally an Iranian Swedish Band.

Safoura Safavi (Abjeeloo): Vocals, Guitar and Music composition
Melody Safavi (Abjeezooloo): Vocals and Lyrics
Johan Moberg (Javan): Guitar
Erland Hoffgard (Ardalan): Bass
Robin Cochrane (Ramin): Drums
Paulo Murga (Pahlevan): Percussion
Sufi Safavi (el Diablito): Sound engineer

Safoura and Melody Safavi of Abjeez Band in their Qajar Getup

The Abjeez Band in Qajar Getup

Basically two Safavi sisters organized the band. Safoura (Abjeeloo) composes the music and Melody (Abjeezooloo) writes the lyrics. Then they have a number of talented musicians as Abjeez Band who accompanies them. Dig the nicknames (Abjeeloo and Abjeezooloo)! Of course their Propaganda Minister (Dr. Suckdasti) also has a nickname: Abji Zaloo (Sister Leech)!

Safoura has a background of classical guitar. Safoura has studied music at Hvitfeldtska School of music in Gothenburg (Sweden), and continued her studies at Fundacion Christina Heeren del arte flamenco in Seville, Spain and she specialized in flamenco guitar and vocals. She is a fine guitar player with style of her own.

Melody is a lyricist and a painter. She studied Social studies at Middsweden University in Sweden and currently works in the field of media.

I bet with you Safavi Sisters were the Black Sheeps of the family and community! Anyone producing cool music like this, must have been a black Sheep!

Abjeez, The Music

Abjeez are the first official Persian Reggae Band. They play Reggae, Latin, Flamenco and Jazz. The lyrics are funny, meaningful, full of social criticism and somewhat political! The music is a breath of fresh air and something different. Abjeez music is a break from the average 6/8 beat!

Two Issues Which I Have with the Abjeez!

First Issue
Dear sisters Abjeeloo and Abjeezooloo, please come out of the closet! You refer to your music as "Persian World Pop":

Abjeez Samples (CD Baby)

The hell is the Persian World Pop? Is this something you have created out of your ….. Allah o Akbar, Astakhforallah! Salavat befrestin!

Baba jan, what the hell is the Persian World Pop?

Now let me tell you why you are branding yourselves as Persian World Pop?

Why Abjeez are Still in The Closet?

Abjeez is basically a Reggae Band. Half of their first album is Reggae and the other half is Latin, a mixture of Flamenco and Latin Jazz. Abjeez is a Reggae Latin Band. Now why the sisters are not just coming out of the closet (Musical Closet) and say it loud and say it proud that they are a Reggae Band? Because they are afraid that you folks (Iranian Young Generation) may Boksovat (stick shift jam) and cannot digest and dig a Persian Reggae Band! Well, Abjeez must certainly come out of the closet and face the music!

Dear Abjeez, not to worry, the Neo Persian Generation loves Reggae and Latin. They will not freak out! Actually if you name your style correctly, they will buy more albums. So stop referring to yourselves as:

Persian World Pop?!

You are neither a Pop Band, nor a World Music Band! But you are Persian! Well, at least the sisters are! Where the hell did you get this term? I cannot stand it when Persian Bands start naming their styles as bizarre terminologies! What the hell are:

Progressive Metal?
World Fusion?
Gothic Metal?
Pop Fusion?
World Pop?

Just come right out and say it that you are a Heavy Metal Band or a Rock Band or a Pop Band and in Abjeez case, you are a Reggae Band. Where the hell do you get these terms from? Come out of the closet, no need to be scared! Come on right out sisters and do it now before it gets too late! You are underestimating the musical intelligence of the Neo Persian Generation. They are much sophisticated and terms such as "Persian World Pop" does not fly with them! When you call yourselves "Persian World Pop", then the kids will assume that you are some kind of "nut jobs" like these cheesy Iranian bands who play amplified Santoor and electric Kamancheh, mix traditional, new age and electronic music and create a meditation symphony for the basket cases to listen to and go in trans! Get off it!

Actually if you keep on calling yourselves a "Persian World Pop" band, then your record sales will drop because it gives a wrong impression about your music! Just say it loud and say it proud,

Repeat after me:

We Abjeez are a Reggae Latin Band.

Abjeez, show some balls
Come out of the closet!

Abjeez Don't make me Jeez you

Or
Make you Self Jeez yourselves

Check with Dr. Suckdasti and I am sure that he will give you the same advice!

Second Issue
My second issue with you gals is your album cover! I totally understand that you are trying to be "Artistic" by creating a book-like or Newspaper-like Box-set type of album, but you know what?

Unless an album is in the Jewel Case (plastic cover), it is not an album with me! I just hate cardboard creative cases! I have to cut apart the damn album case and fit it in a Jewel Case. A CD needs to be in a CD Jewel Case or else I have to get one of my own and reconstruct your album to fit in it! Why you ask? Because a CD not in the Jewel Case will get dirty, dusty and it simply is abnormal and gets on my nerves! I am an obsessive-compulsive perfectionist (just surf the IPC Website and see). Everything must be perfect and in order!

Even when I purchase Pink Floyd, Ozzy Osbourne, Yes, and Led Zeppelin albums in box sets, I freak out, because I have to cut them out and reformat them in few CD Jewel Cases.

For God's sake, don't be creative and put your next album in a CD Jewel Case or I will Jeez (pin you with Javaldouz) you! Get it?

I will Jeez the Abjeez (riot, killer, murder)!

Anyhow, aside from your cheesy term, which you have branded your music by it, and your cardboard case, I have no problem with you.

So come out of the closet and proudly state that you are a Reggae Latin Band and also publish your next CD with a Jewel Box!

Abjeez opens the door to Diplomacy!
I think he is eating chelo kabob and he is not giving me any!

Conclusion

As a music historian, music collector, musician, and a person who understands music, I strongly recommend you to purchase the Abjeez Album, go to their concerts and support them. The lyrics, the beat, the music, guitar riffs, base chords, creativity and the whole shebang are awesome. They just had a concert and they opened up for Kiosk. This is not your Grand Mother's cheesy 6/8 Beat Persian Band! Support them because we need to Revolutionaize the Persian Music.

Freedom Airline
One Way Ticket to Freedomistan!

Support Bamahang Productions because they publish the meaningful and musically worthy Persian Underground Rock, Metal, Blues, Reggae and Pop music. It is your national duty to support Bamahang Productions. These are some cool musicians fed up with the commercial Persian Music and trying to "Change" things so Iranians can once more listen to the Persian Music. Or else, no one (New Generation) will listen to the present mainstream Persian crap! Support Persian Underground, Bamahang and the great new artists.

I also want to strongly recommend the CD Baby company as a reliable and responsible company. It is an independent company with excellent record in shipping and handling with care, great selections and fine website.

Abjeez, I must say that I like yous! I barely like anybody in the present Persian Music, but I like yous!

Hameh, The Abjeez Daily Paper
Headline: Abjeez ignores UN Deadline!

Listen to Abjeez sample songs

Abjeez Samples (CD Baby)

Watch some Abjeez Videos

In this video (Eddea), they dress in Qajar Theme and blast the Reggae Music!

Abjeez - Eddea Video

Abjeez - Khastegari (Arranged Marriage) Video

Abjeez - Iranian National Team Clip

Abjeez Live Clip

Cool Links

Links which you must check out and not miss
(like Namaz and Roozeh)!

Abjeez Website

Bamahang Productions (CD Baby)

Don't forget to review,

IPC Music

IPC Multimedia

Always remember:

"If it is relevant and meaningful music, then it is in IPC."

And this brings me to the end of my musical sermon to yous!
Now run along kiddies, run along Stay Real and Rock On!

End of the Musical Sermon!

Amen!

Dr. X

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Abjeez, Persian Reggae-Latin Band!

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