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Famous Funny Atheist Expressions and Idioms
The Famous Atheist One-Liners
Written and Compiled by Ahreeman X
Updated: January 12, 2014

Life without Evolution is like American Football without Forward Pass!

Thank God I am an Atheist!

God, protect me from your followers!

God made me an Atheist!

Religion stops a thinking mind!

I don't want to be a born again anything; I was Born, OK the first time.

I believe in life before death, you can keep the afterlife!

Control your own destiny or someone else in the name of God will.

Prayer is a placebo!

Jesus Saves, but I Recycle!

Faith is deciding to allow yourself to believe in something that your intellect would otherwise cause you to reject.

Religion is nothing more than a social-support outfit for the weak-minded.

God made man in his own image. It is sad that men spend so much time creating God in theirs!

State, church, keep them separate or you wake up one day, finding yourself in Islamic Republic of Iran!

Oh all you Divine people, please Evolve!

Only the fool says in his heart: There is no god … The wise says it to the world!

Thank God for Darwin!

Freedom is the distance between church and state.

When religion ruled the world, they called it The Dark Ages.

Science ate Ixoye, long ago!

Oh fundamentalists, I have a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore!

I am only doing my part to piss off the pious religious folks.

Nothing fails like prayer!

Nothing avoids a Thinking Mind to evolve, like Faith!

No gods, no masters, No special rights for Christians.

Minds are like parachutes, they only function when open!

Christianity's fruits were Superstition, Bigotry and Persecution.

Primates often have trouble imagining a universe not run by an angry alpha male!

The invisible and the non-existent look very much alike!

Philosophy is questions that may never be answered;
Religion is answers that may never be questioned.

Why is it that good people suffer? Oh I forgot, it is God's will!

My karma ran over my dogma.

It is not really sensible to rely on something that has not yet happened and may not ever happen.

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day; teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime; give a man religion and he will die praying for a fish!

Hell would be to have to spend eternity in a Heaven with those who are sure they are going there.

If Atheism is a religion, then health is a disease!

Last time they mixed politics with religion, people got burned at the stake during the witch-hunts!

If they outlaw teaching evolution, only outlaws will evolve!

The destruction of faith is the beginning of evolution.

Support the theory of evolution; four hundred billion amphibians can't be wrong!

180 million years ago Pangaea started breaking up and forming the present continents, that is called the Evolution of Earth!

Who needs Satan when you have a God like Allah?

Feudalism was the original Christian Coalition.

If you want a country ran by religion, move to Islamic Republic of Iran and have a taste!

Don't pray in my school, and I won't think in your church.

Evolutionists do it with extremely increasing complexity; Creationists do it with extremely increasing dogmatism.

The death of dogma is the birth of reality.

Religion is a limitation on your freedom.

Christians say: God is my shepherd, but only sheep needs a shepherd.

Prayer has no place in the public school, just like facts have no place in the church.

When one person suffers from a delusion, it is called insanity. When many people suffer from a delusion it is called Religion.

Religion is daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorant the nature of the Unknown!

The sailor does not pray for wind, he learns to row and sail.

Guilt, fear, and mass insanity are three elements of Christianity!

Murder, Pillage, Pedophilia, Polygamy and Ignorance are the five pillars of Islam!

Deaf, Dumb and Blind are the three best pious Muslim around!

Fear from Allah is the fundamental of Islam!

Allah, was originally a Black Rock placed in Ka'bbah who later on had evolved into a psychopathic murderer by the wise teachings of Mohammed!

If only closed minds came with closed mouths, then all religious people would be silently dumb!

Those who ignore history are condemned to repeat it!

Religion is the leading cause of death throughout history.

The Bible has fingerprints all over it and none of them are God-sized.

On the desperate day, man created God!

Do you ever watch people pray? Most people do it with their eyes closed, and this should tell you something!

The only thing we become after death is organic fertilizer!

Blasphemy unlike beheading is a victimless crime.

Gods are children's security blankets that get carried over into adulthood.

All religions are cults of varying degrees.

Religious people are basically killing each other in holy wars to see who's got the better imaginary friend (God)!

The Virgin Mary was only an unwed teenage mother.

Looking for father of Jesus? Then stop looking above and start looking at Joseph!

Two hands working can do more than a thousand clasped in prayers.

All churches beat the devil well, but they are very careful not to kill him!

The only church that enlightens is the one that's on fire!

Atheism is a Non-Prophet organization.

An atheist is a man who has no invisible means of support.

Stop lying to children - Break the cycle of religion.

You keep believing; I'll keep evolving!

Pray to God, fine; but keep rowing to shore.

If God created everything, he created evil. Who is He to call us sinners?

The best place for evil to hide is in the church!

Church has always been willing to swap off treasures in heaven for cash down as donations!

Aliens to God: Did you make mankind after we made you?

A man without religion is like a fish without a bicycle!

God is Santa Clause for adults!

God is just an imaginary friend for adults!

Faith is the fabric of psychosis.

Religious people who don't like their beliefs being laughed at shouldn't have such funny beliefs to begin with!

Anyone who claims that God is on their side is dangerous as hell.

Islam is not only another religion, yet it is a dangerous political ideology!

Einstein used to say imagination is more important than knowledge.

If you have to lie to prove what you believe, then what you believe is a lie.

Question everything or believe anything!

A man can live without air for minutes, water for days, food for weeks and God forever.

Start thinking outside the box!

And on the trillionth day, Man created Gods!

Science is like a blabbermouth who ruins a movie by telling you how it ends! Religion says there are some things we don't want to know! Important things!

Ignore your rights and they will go away, then suddenly you find yourself living in Islamic Republic of Iran!

Islamic Compassion means quick beheading via an axe!

Allah should be executed by beheading for crimes against humanity.

It is impossible to convince some children that there is no Santa Claus. They do not fully grasp reality. Religious people are like overgrown children!

The Universe was never created; therefore, God is only a Myth!

God is exactly where we put him and I put him in dumpster of history.

Who created god? If your answer is he always was, then why can't you say the same for the universe?

Solar System, Earth, Animals, Plants and Human have been evolved through Millions of Years, no invisible guy in the sky named God, had a role in this evolution!

Mind is a terrible thing to waste on Religious Studies!

Science bless you. Darwin Loves You!

I am an Evolutionist; therefore, I think; therefore, I am dangerous!

God made me an atheist. Who are you to question his wisdom?

If there is a God, he sure isn’t worth praying. Just take a good look at the world!

God is a myth.
Religion is a superstition.
Prophets are charlatans.

Dr. X

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