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Those Funny Crazy Persians: Part 17
 

Only in Iran
Those Funny Crazy Persians: Part 17

Ahreeman X
December 27, 2019

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year 2020 to All


Little Red Persian Hood
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year 2020 to Everyone
Seasons Greetings from Iran to Around the World


Ahreeman X: Tis the Season Kiddies!
Deck the hall with boughs of holly, fa la la la la, la la, la la,
Tis the season to be jolly, fa la la, la la la, la la la, ……
Pull the balls of holy Donkey, fa la, la la, la, hala la la,
Pin the needle up Mullahs’ booty, Dala, la la, la la, la la …..
Hallow Kiddies, come gather around Papa Ahreeman for yet another Christmas Tale of 1001 Persian Nights., but before we begin our episode, let me give you, your presents. Last year, I given you Gold Presents, so now I will give you Silver Presents. I like gold and silver, so we wrap your presents often in gold and silver. And here are your Christmas presents:


Persian Christmas Silver Presents

Only in Iran 16

Other Only in Iran Episodes


Ahreeman X: The funny thing is that not only Christians, but many Iranians celebrate Christmas, Thanksgiving, Valentines and all other American Holidays in Iran, only to piss off the Mullahs! It is called Negative Struggle! Iran is a rare example in Middle East where the people love America but the Regime hates America! Everywhere else is vice versa!

And now I shall give you, the main Christmas Dish: Only in Iran 17.
On behalf of Little Red Persian Hood and myself, Merry Christmas and Happy 2020 New Year
May this new year, be a great, healthy, wealthy and giddy year for all.


Little Red Persian Hood:
I’m only doing my best to keep up the fashion with all the present Islamic Bull Shiite limitations in Iran. Once we kick Islam out of Iran, then I will go full blown fashionable for you! Merry Christmas …


Persian Christmas Bunny:
Merry Christmas from Iran, Y’all (now that’s southern and I don’t mean southern Iran)!


Persian Christmas Fashion Model:
Only in Iran, you will see this type of Bad Hejab! We do what we can to fight the Islamic Regime with Fashion! Hey, I’m even showing some ankle!


Persian Christmas Hejab: Red and Green with Persian Design
Now that’s what I call “Persian Ingenuity”!
It is admirable for Persian women to still be fashionable under the harshest Islamic Ruled Society on Earth! Why Persian women wear such bad hejab, you ask?
Answer is simple, Iranians by majority are not Real Muslims but they are Show Muslims!
Persians pretend to be Pious Muslims, only in public but inside their homes, party goes on 24/7!
The worst hejab in Islamic world can be found in Iran!
The most fashionable hejab in the Islamic world can also be found in Iran!
Persians make bad Muslims but great fashion junkies!


Sara Rahimi Persian Model:
Merry Christmas everyone and welcome to IPC Christmas Special


Sara Rahimi Persian Model:
Let’s have a Ball, this New Year Eve and blast through 2020!


Sara Rahimi Persian Christmas Model:
Now let’s get a little comfortable and cuddle all warm and cozy near the fireplace …


Sara Rahimi Persian Christmas Model:
And possibly much more comfortable …


Persian Christmas Girl – Persian Perfection Indeed!


Persian Mrs. Claus
Ahreeman Joon: And who are you?
Persian Mrs. Claus: I’m Persian Mrs. Claus
Ahreeman Joon: Damn, now Persians have their own Mrs. Claus!


Persian Elf on the Shelf
Ahreeman Joon: And you are Little Baby Claus?
Persian Elf on the Shelf: No, I’m the acrobatic Persian Elf on the Shelf
Ahreeman Joon: Then how come you’re not on the shelf?
Persian Elf on the Shelf: Because it’s cozier near the fireplace
Ahreeman Joon: Just make sure you don’t rip a pelvic or vaginal muscle!
Persian Elf on the Shelf: Don’t worry, I do Kegel Exercises all the time!
Ahreeman Joon: I’m not worried about you but I’m worried about Mullahs going blind!
Persian Elf on the Shelf: Why’s that?!
Ahreeman Joon: Because they been staring at your crotch fixatedly for so long!
Persian Elf on the Shelf: Is it because Mullahs have eye problems?
Ahreeman Joon: No, its because Mullahs are a bunch of horny and hungry, beady eyed, Muslim perverts!


Imam Khamenei: Don’t I look a little bit like Santa Claus?!
Look at my smile, I’m Santa’s identical twin!
Ahreeman Joon: And now an Islamic Christmas Carol by your Supreme Spiritual Leader:
Imam Khamenei: Are yous ready Umma’? Here we go,
4 decades of bloody murder, fala lala la, lala la la
Killed you people by tens of thousands, fala la, fala la, la la la
Good Muslims obey like the sheeple, hala la, hala la, sha lala
Ride the sheeple like good cattle, fala la la, la Ensha Allah!
Until good Shiite are my Umma’, tralala la, la, hala la
Ayatollahs ride them donkeys, Ya Allah, lo Bismallah …


General Qasem Soleimani Commander of the Qods Force of IRGC and his Lieutenants
Yadollah Geda: Are you guys also Christmas Caroling?
Qasem Soleimani (middle front): No, we’re chest banging for Ashura!
Yadollah Geda: Then wait for me to also participate in mourning for Imam Hussein, here I come …

Ashura, Shiite Islam Bloody Psychotic Festival: 5 Parts


Under Mullah’s Robe!
General Qasem Soleimani Commander of the Qods Force of IRGC at Jamaran
Khamenei: Your boys are doing great in Yemen, Iraq, Syria, Lebanon and rest of Middle East
Soleimani: We’re just trying to connect the Shiite Crescent across the Middle East …
Khamenei: Good job General
Soleimani: I’m just a faithful soldier of you, Ya Imam!
Khamenei: Ok, now tell me the truth, Doolam Didi (have you seen my schlong)?
Soleimani: Na nadidam (no I haven’t), but I can see the bulge under the aba robe!
Khamenei: So, come under the robe to see the miracles of Allah …
Soleimani: Will I get rewards in afterlife?
Khamenei: You will get rewards in this life and afterlife, and I will also get Christmas joys!
Soleimani:  then Ya Allah, let’s go under the Aba Robe, Bismillah!


Under Mullah’s Robe, the sequel!
Khamenei: How about you, have you seen my Holy Moameleh? I’m feeling it now!
Rouhani: No, but I heard, its glorious, shines like a Saint’s Halo and its nutritious too!
Khamenei: Ok, let’s be honest with your Rahbar, kos khordi (have you eaten pussy)?
Rouhani: No!
Khamenei: Kun khordi (have you eaten ass)?
Rouhani: No!
Khamenei: Pas Kir darim, bedim bokhori (then we serve dick, would you like to eat some)?!


“Iranian President Hassan Rouhani’s Speech at UN was extremely boring, lengthy and propagandic.” (Media)
Rouhani: My balls are this big, in American System, they are half an inch, yes, I have seedy balls (Hasteh Khorma), but despite my seedy balls, we are standing firm against the will of the Great Satan (America) like a Persian Lion! Yes, my Kharzeh is also this long (half an inch) but we don’t want to go there now!
Great Satan and Global Imperialism ......


(Persian Horses have been flipping upside down, getting sick and going to veterinarians!” (Media)
Persian Horse: Oh God, save us from another long ass Mull Shiite (Mullah Bull Shiite) lecture by Mullah Rouhani! No, I can’t take it anymore, that’s it for me, I gonna flip and die, please take me to the hospital, help, save me from Rouhani’s Mull Shiite …… my knees are getting weak, my feet are numb like wood, heeeeelp! Ay khalqollah, Paham chub shod, zire pam mireh, laqveh gereftam, komak konin …. Rouhani ro khafeh konin!


“Shinzo Abe (Japanese Prime Minister) met with Hassan Rouhani (Iranian President) to make sure that Iran will not sink anymore Japanese oil tankers in the Persian Gulf!” (Media)
Rouhani: Hey Javad, pest, come here, they say Japanese have small dicks and anuses, is that right?
Zarif: As a diplomat, I studied and worked in America, I don’t know about Orientals but I can tell you about American cocks and rectums …
Rouhani: Have you seen this Haji’s Yah Bah Yuh Bah?
Zarif: I haven’t had the pleasure but I tried to peek over the urinal in the bathroom!
Abe (to himself): Why are Persian guys all gay?!


“John Kerry have been secretly meeting with Javad Zarif, Iranian Foreign Minister and the Iranian Diplomats, recommending to them to be patient about the US – IRI Nuke Deal until after 2020, when Democrats will beat Trump in the election and have more leniency to survive the deal.” (Media)
Kerry: Patience until after 2020, so we can get back to the deal …
Zarif: Why are you talking nonsense, your candidates are retards, Trump will kick your ass!
Kerry: We gave you $ 1.8 Billion in cash and $ 150 Billion in deal, trust me, I know what I’m talking about …
Zarif: And we thank you but our Muslim Brother Hussein Obama is not in power. This Crazy Trump guy is not Mullah friendly; I think he wants to FAQ us in the Shiiter!
Kerry: Not to worry, we’ll get back in to the White House …
Zarif: Don’t get your hopes high because I seen your candidates, they’re borderline insane with a splash of mental issues and a dash of mild retardation! To kheyli kos migi, khali naband!


“Javad Zarif is the architect of the US – IRI Nuke Deal and Father of the Iran Lobby in USA.” (Media)
Javad Zarif: Ha ha ha …, I love Democrats, they’re our kind of people. I particularly love that Chocolate Boy, Brother Hussein Obama. America was our bitch during 8 years of Obama. We really put it to them for 8 years. Liberals are best friends to Islamists, specifically that Negro Thin and Tall Boy, Hussein! Even though, as a chubby chaser, I love chubby round butts, yet that tall and thin Dhimmi Boy, Hussein Obama was my Brown Sugar and My Homie. Love them Obama years, we really shoved it up American butts. Those were the golden years, hope they return. I love Democrats!


At the Ya Hussein Basij Militia, Ansar-e Hezbollah and Army Parade …
Ahreeman Joon: Are you guys trying to open your mouths widest to scream Allah-o Akbar?
Hezbos: No, we’re practicing giving Deep Throats to Mullahs, Islamic Style!


Iranian Anti Auto Theft Device


Iranian Anti Gas Theft Auto Device
Gas is very precious in Iran!


Iranian Anti Flip Flop Theft Lock
Ahreeman Joon: I understand that there is no security in Iran, but isn’t this a little bit obsessive to protect a beat-up pair of junk flip flops?!


Iranian Funny No Horn Traffic Sign - “Hey animal, don’t beep!” (on the wall)
“Iranian drivers beep too much!” (Media)
Javadi: In the residential neighborhood, the drivers were obviously blind and could not see the sign, so I also wrote it on the wall!


Funny Veterinarian University Promo Sign
At the Veterinarian College of Tehran University:
“Veterinarian field is the field to serve the humanity!”


Funny Iranian Ice Cream Vender Sign:
“After the usage, please wash the ice cream cups and drop them in the trash can”
Ahreeman Joon: Hey buddy, are you sure you live in the right country? This is Iran! Go count your prayers if the people drop them in the trash can, set aside washing them! Hey, are you sure you’re not on opium?!


Open Window to Nowhere!
Ahreeman Joon: Was this a security act or a symbolic social criticism about the Iranian society?


Bache Kunis (Gay Boy Toy Twinks) on Persian Carpet Walk!
Persian Male Fashion Models on the Catwalk, Persian Style!


“Bache Obneh (Gay Boy) and Persian Hairy Bear were amongst the gay mass arrest in Tehran.” (Media)
Reporter: Are you crying because you didn’t get to walk the Carpet Walk?
Bache Obi: No, because this bald headed bastard pervert wanted to pull my front teeth with a pair of plyers, so I wouldn’t bite his Moameleh when he Skull FAQed me! He likes to do pushups on my face!
Persian Hairy Bear: Shoosh bache, be quiet, don’t speak of our secrets, you’ll get things worse!


Mullahs and Boy Toys!
Akbari: Isn’t homosexuality a sin in Islam?
Asqari: That’s just a front, all Muslims are gay!
Akbari: Don’t tell me that’s just a friendly kiss?!
Asqari: You should see what’s going on at the backrooms of the mosque at night!


Classic Persian Bald Headed Pervert Look!
At the Gay-La Bash
Ahreeman Joon: Bache Kuni-ya, jam shodin kun-e ham bezarin? Seriously, you threw a gay party to bang each other in a twisted gay orgy?
Baldy: Labash koloft shodeh, vali nakh nemideh! Rajab, Lab midi? His lips are voluptuous but he doesn’t let me in!
Pervy: He’s not my type, he looks like a beady eyed, bald weasel!


Persian Gay Emo Vampire Boys
Ahreeman Joon: Bache Kuni-ya Dracula shodin?
Emo Boys: We’re experimenting …
Ahreeman Joon: Why don’t you experiment with getting a job and making a life?
Emo Boys: We’re trying to be cool …
Ahreeman Joon: Kids your age, got jobs, get married and have children, get a life!
Emo Boys: But its fashion …
Ahreeman Joon: Get the butt plugs out of your rectums, pull up your pants, stand up, get straight and get a life!
Emo Boys: Don’t be too difficult …
Ahreeman Joon: What’s with the lenses?
Emo Boys: It’s a trend baby, it’s fashion …
Ahreeman Joon: Khak bar saretun konan, this is all that you have learned from the western culture?! Why don’t you learn western science and philosophy?
Emo Boys: But that’s not fashionable and it doesn’t cure our butt itch!


Persian Child Molester in the Shower getting Selfie!
Ahreeman Joon: Rauf Bache Baz, what are you doing here?
Rauf: Don’t call me Rauf, my American name is Chester …
Ahreeman Joon: Chester the Molester?
Rauf: Shoosh, keep it secret, you don’t have to announce it!
Ahreeman Joon: How come you showed up?
Rauf: You talked about Persian Gay Emo Vampire Boys, I got exited, jumped in the shower and started getting naked selfies!
Ahreeman Joon: Baba jan, khejalat nemikeshi? Have you no shame?
Rauf: Shame flame, where are these boys, send them in the shower, I’ll give’em something to make their eyes wide open to see the world in a different perspective!
Ahreeman Joon: Rauf, I don’t think you’ll ever change and become human! To adam nemishi!
Rauf: Hey wait a second, where are you going? Where are the boys?
Ahreeman Joon: I’m leaving, this scene is getting too gay for me …


Ahreeman Joon: Eh, Mariam Micol, Persian Tranny Erotic Movie Star, what are you doing here?
Mariam: I heard all this kun kunak, dulam rast shod!
Ahreeman Joon: Qorbun-e dulet, gusht beshe bereh be kunet!
Mariam: So Ahreeman, where’s the beef?
Ahreeman Joon: Obviously between your legs! Tuck it in between your legs, you may scare the children! Don’t let it hanging and dangling to the right and left!
Mariam: But didn’t you say, you like Chicks with Dicks?!
Ahreeman Joon: Yeh but save it for the bedroom, don’t let it loose in public!
Mariam: So, what’s shaking Ahreeman?
Ahreeman Joon: Obviously your round butt! Mariam, your shoombool got bigger, what do you eat, Vitana Rusk with dates and banana (Biskuit-e Vitana, khorma va moz)?
Mariam: No, I just practice with pressure pump!
Ahreeman Joon: Too much S&M!
Mariam: Why do you always bash the Trannies?
Ahreeman Joon: To tell you the truth, I got nothing against the trannies. If you’re a pretty boy, you can get a sex op. and become a cute tranny but if you’re an ugly man like Michelle Obama (Michael) to begin with, then even a sex op. will not help you! After the sex op. you will still be a rough neck, hairy, muscular, big boned man in a dress!
Mariam: How about me?
Ahreeman Joon: You’re cute, just tuck it in between your legs, the bulge may scare the neighbor’s cat!


Persian Creative Sausage Fryer
Ahreeman Joon: Sizzling Hot like Mariam Micol?
Soli: No, at the university dorm, my stove ran out of propane, so I’m using the electric iron as a fryer!
Ahreeman Joon: Now that is called Persian Ingenuity!


Now back in the day, we had kids who slept at the back of the class but this dude gives a new definition to it! Haji, blanket, pillow, are you sure you’re comfy?!


Ah, Christmas shopping in Tehran, nothing like it …
Little Elf Girl: Mommy, Mommy, look, it’s Imam Khamenei!
Mommy: No, it’s Santa Claus!
Little Elf Girl: Is Imam Khamenei, Santa Claus?
Mommy: No, they’re different …
Little Elf Girl: How?
Mommy: Santa Claus gives presents of joy but Khamenei gives presents of death and pain …
Little Elf Girl: Gulp!


Simple Christmas Wish!
Jalal: Ya Santa, for Christmas, I wish to have low gas prices, low food prices, low housing, low cost of living, low inflation, low unemployment, civilized and intelligent people running the country and …
Santa: Hey wait a second, hold it there, I can’t make all your wishes to come true but a Regime Change can! So, make simple wishes …
Jalal: Ok then, Ya Santa, for Christmas, I wish you to cure my old mother’s rheumatism, my old father’s hernia, my old aunt’s ulcer, my uncle’s inflammation of testicles, my brother’s baldness, my sister’s athlete feet and my large hemorrhoids and …
Santa: Hey hold it right there, I’m Santa Claus, I bring Christmas gifts, I don’t cure things. You are mistaking me with Imam Zaman, the 12th Missing Imam Mahdi of Shiites who went into the water well and never came out. Mahdi disappeared and Shiite are waiting for his reappearance. You need to go find Mahdi to make your wishes come true!

KIR (Khomeini's Islamic Republic) - Adventures of KIR
KIR II: Miracle of The KIR


Reappearance of Imam Mahdi – An Islamic Miracle
“The Missing 12th Imam of Shiite Muslims has reappeared out of the water well!” (Media)
Paramedics: Let’s help get this Persian Donkey out of the well …
Mahdi: Buzineh, I’m not a donkey, I’m the 12th Shiite Imam reappearing!


Kid: Are you Double Santas?
Santa: No, we’re a couple of unemployed engineers, reenacting for Christmas Holiday Shopping Season in Tehran to make ends meet!


Baldy: I loves double kisses from Double Santas …
Santa: Hey Baldy, at least wash your head with Head and Shoulders shampoo, you smell like Kaleh Pacheh of Guspand (head and feet stew of sheep)!


Yalda Night and Christmas Shopping at Tehran
Haji, you heard about weighing the watermelon amongst other tests to make sure it is ripe and sweet but this is not the way to weigh the watermelon! This is not basketball, you know?!


Yalda Night (December 20th) is the longest night of the year
Yalda Night and Christmas Fruit Shopping at fruit market, Kerman, Iran
Haji Kermani: Now this is what we call a work of art watermelon fruit decor delicacy!


At the Pomegranate Juice Stand, Tehran, Iran
Shirin Joon: The best pomegranate juice stand in Tehran. They got Pomegranate Juice, Smoothie, Ice Cream, Desserts and Fruit.


Akbar Anari the best pomegranate juicer in Tehran!
Akbar Anari: Ay Ab Anar, benush-o bebar … how can you have Yalda Night and Christmas without pomegranate?! Best stuff to clean your blood, your skin and your system. It cleans your pimples and acne, lowers your cholesterol, gives you regularity and even opens up your rectum! Ahay Anari …


Christmas at Jolfa, Esfahan, Iran
Girl: Take my picture with Santa Claus …
Santa: I’m not really Santa, I’m just your local Esfahani pervert posing as Santa for Christmas to feel some girls!


Christmas at Jolfa, Esfahan, Iran
Shahin: Let’s take a selfie of us with Santa
Mahin: That Santa is a doll, it’s not real
Shahin: Really? I could swear a bulge formed in his pants when he saw us!
Mahin: Nah, that’s just wood inflammation in winter
Shahin: Exactly my point!


Merry Christmas from Iran
Betty: Let’s take our pictures with Double Santas
Nazi: Are you guys coming from North Pole?
Sitting Santa: No, he’s an out patient from Razi Asylum for severe mental patients and I’m an out inmate for good behavior from Qasr Prison down the street …
Nazi: Yayk, yeeeee … Gulp!


Merry Christmas from Iran
Abdi: Hey Zari, let’s take our picture with Santa
Santa: C’mon here in Santa’s arm
Zari: Eh, Santa your grabbing to hard!
Santa: Relax woman, let me get a good feel of you …
Abdi: Eh, Santa don’t finger!
Santa: Give it a chance boy, it’s Christmas!
Zari: This Santa is too touchy feely!
Abdi: Yeh, I think he abused us!
Santa: Tis the Season, to be jolly, Persian Style, fala lala la, lala la la …!


Santa Claus at Namaz Jama’at Group Muslim Prayer in the Mosque, Gorgan, Golestan, Iran!
Turkmen Imam: What are you doing here Santa? Lost your way from the North Pole?
Santa: I’m Changiz, working at the mall as Santa, just came in for a quick prayer before I start my 2nd shift!
Turkmen Imam: In Sunni Islam, we have no quickies, we read 5 rakat namaz a day. This is no Shiite Islam 3 rakat quickie!
Santa: I know but Kachi beh az hichi (something is better than nothing)!


Stopped by the Female Moral Police for Bad Hejab Dress Code
Sakineh (left): Do you really think that this hejab is acceptable in an Islamic country?
Sisi: Sorry, I just put something on and left the house in a hurry …
Soqra (right): Obviously she was in a hurry!
Sakineh: you are having a smiling face, so with a smile, we will take you to the police station …
Sisi: No please, it will not happen again … if you let me go this time, I’ll love and respect you …
Soqra: We love and respect you too, that’s why I’m giving you this rose and then take you to the station
Sakineh: Not to worry, at the station, we will put you in the jail cell with a big smile …
Sisi: Gulp!


At the Tehran Maserati Dealership Grand Opening on Christmas
Maserati Girls: We’re trying to obey the Islamic dress codes but then again we have to sell Maserati too!


Christmas Fashion, Persian Style!
Ahreeman Joon: Only in Iran, you would see hejab like that! Would you even call that hejab?!
Christmas Red Fashion Girl: Hey, it’s hard to obey the Islamic dress code and be fashionable at the same time!
Ahreeman Joon: But you’re even showing ankle! No ankles allowed in Islam!
Christmas Red Fashion Girl: Hey, it’s North Tehran, everything goes …


Ahreeman Joon: Really? Seriously? You call that hejab?
Zhizhi: It’s called Christmas hejab in Tehran! Now run along and stop pulling our hejab in Tehran …


At LGBTQ Rally
Ahreeman Joon: Eh, Shahram what are you doing here?
Sharareh: My name is now Sharareh, call me by my name.
X: Well excuuuuuuuuuuuse me!
S: Don’t let it happen again!
X: What happened?
S: Iran is the cheapest destination for sex change op. and they had a 2 for 1 special, so we went to Tehran and got some …
X: Yes, Imam Khomeini was very fond of Trannies …
S: Now, I feel free and I feel like a woman …
X: But you still look like an ugly man!
S: Oh no, you didn’t say that! You better run, I have pointy high heels on, I’m armed and I’m dangerous, run bitch, run …


Zohreh: Ahreeman, am I wearing proper Islamic hejab?
Shohreh: Yeh, is our hejab proper?
Zohreh: This type of ice cream bar, you hold like this and you lick it like this, you work your tong around it and you shove it in and out of your mouth like this … you lick it good …
Shohreh: Yeh, you lick it good … ummm yummm ummm …
Ahreeman Joon: You guys are not only bad hejab but also bad behavior and corrupt!
Zohreh: Hey, in North Tehran, everything goes …


Kid: You look a little bit like Rouhani!
Frosty the Snowman: I’m a snowman not a Mullah, don’t insult me kiddo, ehrrrr …


At Tehran Christmas Sales
Persian Girl: For Christmas, I only want health and happiness for me, screw everyone else! I love myself, that’s why I only take selfies of myself, not even with Santa!
Ahreeman Joon: Kid, you’ll be a success because you only take care of the number one and that is you! Selfish people always succeed in life and go places! I took care of everyone, and everyone screwed me! I was wrong, you are right! Screw everybody kid, that’s what I’m talking about! Smart kid!


Tehran Christmas Nights
Persian Girl: I have a wish! When I grow up, I want to pose as a model for IPC …
Ahreeman Joon: Smart kid, make sure you come back in 10 years and send your portfolio, but for now, stay away from IPC and tune into Disney Website! Kids your age, have no business reading IPC!


Christmas in San Diego!
And now for something totally different, Christmas in Seventy Degrees and Sunny San Diego! Enjoy the scenery!


Christmas in Tehran
But Tehran is freezing for this time of year, so you have to dress up in warm and cozy outfits. The outfits such as red manto coat and tall black boots displayed by Zhila Joon!


Christmas in Tehran Rocks!
Persian girls surely wear some bad hejab but fashionable outfits. These are not exactly by the Islamic dress code. You don’t see anyone except Persian girls wear hejab like this in the Middle East! Of course, if you can even call these hejab! Try wearing these types of hejab in Saudi Arabia and other Islamic Arab countries and see what happens? Candid for jail, lashes, stoning or execution indeed! Just picture what would the Persian girls wear in the future, if there will be no Islamic dress code? I can picture! Remember before 1979, the Mini Skirts and Hot Pants during Shah’s time in Imperial Iran?!


Hejab, Persian Style!
Even right now in Islamic Republic, look what Persian girls wear under the chador! Hey, you girls are sitting way too close to each other, are you sure no type of Lesbo Action is going on around here?!


Chador can be Sexy!
Persian Chadori Girl: You don’t have to wear bad hejab to look sexy. You can wear complete hejab and only show face, but still look sexy! I’m the proof. I’m covered from head to toe except hands and face, but take one look at my face and you lose control of your liquids! I show only face and leave the rest for mystery and suspense! Chador can be very sexy. One look at my face can make a dead man cum! So, the moral of the story is to wear proper Islamic hejab and be sexy at the same time!


Christmas Hejab?!
Now this is not the proper Islamic hejab by the dress code!


Persian Girl in Red Fashion Scarf and Outfit for Christmas
This getup is surely not by the Islamic code:
- Hair is showing
- Thick makeup
- Bright colors
Everything about this getup screams Moral Police Station!
But then again can you stop the Persian girls from wearing them?


Persian Christmas Bunny
Now that’s what I call a proper hejab; it even shows the proper amount of ankle!


Persian Traditional Girl with Ancient Persian Traditional Outfit
Bringing the past to the present with a spice of Christmas

Persian Miniature Paintings Come Alive!


Persian Girl in Modern Version of the Ancient Persian Traditional Outfit
Of course, with a spice of Christmas


Persian Girl in Traditional Persian Hat, Top, Hot Pants and Boots, Retro 1970s Imperial Iran Style!
Now that’s what I call bringing the past to the present! The good Old 1970s Iran of Shah’s Era!


Haj Edalat the Persian Spice Grocer: That’s what Haji calls the Proper Hejab! Haji likes to see more hejab like that in Iran! It even has a stripe of red and a spice of Christmas in there! Show more “Maqz-e Roon” (thighs), my favorite!


Persian Girl in Persian Traditional Mini Dress of Retro 1970s Imperial Iran Style!
Ahreeman Joon: Haji I agree with you, I also prefer the 1970s Imperial Iran Styles! I love “Maqz-e Roon” (Beefy Thighs), Abgushti Style, perfect for Persian Abgusht Stew! I have this close bond with Beefy Thighs wearing hot pants, mini skirts and mini dress. You must have the proper thighs to wear them gears! My attraction to Beefy Thighs is due to my great ancestor being a great butcher!

Last Persian Emperor: Aqa Mohammad Shah Qajar
Historically Condemned or Historical Hero?


Now that’s what I call the perfect Persian Girl with proper assets:
- Big Meme (boobs Esfahani accent)
- Beefy Thighs (Maqz-e Roon)
- 1 Layer of Belly (Yek Varaqeh Shikam)
- Willful Eyes (Talab Mikoneh)
- Ankle Showing (and much more …)


Persian Merry Christmas Card from Enayat
Enayat: That’s what I call the perfect Persian Girl too!
Ahreeman Joon: Eh, Enayat Pervert, what are you doing here?
Enayat: Just dropped by to say hi, Merry Christmas and finger your Christmas Special!


Merry Christmas from Persian Snow Bunnies
Persian PAWGs with Beefy Thighs and Assets, Abgushti (Persian Stew) Style!
* Educational Note: PAWG = Phat Ass White Girl (in a good and sexy way)
“Fat Bottom Girls, Make the Rocking world Go Round!” (Freddie Mercury – Queen)


Persian Christmas at Arak, Iran
Persian Girls lighting of candles Epiphany at the Church Mass, Arak, Iran
Armenian Iranian Girls' Christmas Prayer
Seda (left): Dear Lord, may 2020 be the final year in 4 decades of Islamic Tyranny in Iran!
Satik (right): Dear Lord, may all Mullahs die of miserable incurable diseases!
Seda and Satik: Oh holy night, silent night, Mullahs die a miserable death, LaLa Lay, HaLa Lay … (sing along with Christmas tune)


Persian Christmas at Tehran Cathedral, Iran
Funny Armenian Iranian Girl’s Prayer at the Mass
Mariam (right): Dear Lord, please strike a Thunderous lightning to fry Khamenei’s balls …
Ayda (left): Don’t wish bad wishes for the people!
Mariam: But mom, he’s not people, he’s a monster!
Ayada: Still, no bad wishes for the people …
Mariam: But mom, it’s a good wish for the people of Iran!


Merry Christmas and Happy New Year from Iran


A Million Dollar Persian Face!
Haj Edalat on the New Ahreemanic Net Spoof
Haj Edalat the Persian Spice Grocer: Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to everyone. By the way, I had nothing to do with this New Ahreemanic Net Spoof’s direction and comments, I’m just an average grocer minding my own business. I have no desire for the authorities to come down on me for being a part of this Ahreemanic Tale created by the Twisted Mind of Ahreeman! I was only an actor but Ahreeman was the director! Point the finger at the Evil1…


Ahreeman X: Well kiddies, you liked? All good things must come to an end, so does our Persian Christmas Tale of 1001 Persian Nights. May you enjoy a great Christmas Holidays and a Fruitful New Year. Now give Papa Ahreeman a big wet kiss on the cheek and go to bed, it’s way pass your bed times. Shoo away, shoo kids …… Ho Ho Ho and a Big Mug O Hot Christmas Chocolate, Ho ho ho Howl Howling!

Only in Iran Baby, Only in Iran ……
See you in the funny pages ……
Until next time,

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year to All

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