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Iranian Version of Alice in Wonderland!

Iranian Opposition in LaLa Land!
Iranian Version of Alice in Wonderland!

Ahreeman X
July 9, 2008

L. The Amazed Baby – The facial expression of this baby is due to the thick carrot, which is stuck up her butt! This baby the same as the Iranian Opposition has been hit with the carrot (1978) and still not recovered from the hit!
R. The Confused Baby – The facial expression of this baby is due to her index finger, which is inserted in her butt! This baby the same as the Iranian Opposition has been wondering aimlessly in Exile since she got smacked the Shiite out of her (1978) and since then she has become a Career Exilist with a large gap up her ……!

Friends, Persians, Activists and Comrades:

Greetings to All


Have you ever seen an amazed Iranian farmer standing in the middle of a field of prairie with his right hand’s index finger up his anus and his left hand’s thumb between his teeth in his mouth, staring at the sky, wondering if it will rain on his crops?

The farmer stands there in hope of the rain rather than irrigating his own land! He stares at the sky in hope of the rain, that’s why they call them Eye-Rainians, because they always have their Eyes to the Rain, rather than taking on the initiation to irrigate the land on their own!

Iranian Opposition in Exile and their Leadership acts the same as this Eye-Rainian Farmer standing amazed in the middle of a field of prairie with their index fingers up their ….. looking for a savior or CIA to free Iran!


I do recall that a while back I have read a post in the IPC Club by a monarchist. The post was originally quoted from someone else, most likely one of his Monarchist Buddies in some Monarchist Forum, possibly Activist Chat or so...........

The quote said something like this:

"Reza Shah-e Dovom is the only hope to save Iran!"

Hmmmmmmmmmmmm, this statement made me think!

Let’s elaborate on this statement, shall we? Reza Pahlavi is a fellow opposition member, a good-hearted man and a good family man. He is a fine pacifist and a divine Muslim. He is a well-mannered, soft-spoken, and extremely conservative fellow.

But Reza Pahlavi is a Galaxy away from being the savior of Iran! You know what? These types of statements by the LaLa Landish, Out of Touch Monarchists in Exile, are getting old, way too old, 30 + years old! They are getting too old and too boring in a way that they put the listener to deep sleep or maybe a deep comatose!

Babam jan, Reza Pahlavi cannot even save his own butt! How the hell can he save Iran? He is a Mellow Yellow Jello Fellow, riding on the Yellow Submarine singing kumbaya, hand in hand with Out of Order, Old Fart Imperial Generals of the Imperial Forces whom surrendered Iran to Hezbollah on 1978! You know, the ones who combinely signed that famous surrender paper, handed it to Imam Khomeini and later on they all blamed Qarabaqi and Fardust for Treason! Ye, those!

Why Reza Pahlavi Cannot Lead the Iranian Opposition?

They have become basically a cartoonish joke of the neighborhood! Reza Pahlavi cannot even give a straight factor to organize his own finances, bonds and stocks! Once a while he goes upside down and bankrupt, then Momsey dear (Empress Farah), Khaleh Ashraf (Princess Ashraf), Iranian billionaires of LA, Arab sheiks and King of Saudi gots to bail him out of the quicksand!

It is amazing that with Billions of dollars taken out of Iran by the Pahlavis and stored safely and stashed in various accounts in the west, Mr. Pahlavi still manages to often blow his share of the dough! You know, it is very hard for someone to blow and burn such great amount of money, given to him without a day of working for it! I mean how can you blow so much money in such short time? One must be really a Financial Idiot, an economically challenged type o guy, an absolute mathematical illiterate to manage such great financial blunders!

Reza Pahlavi have had blown away so much money in bad investments, sad stock market blunders, give aways to Kiss Asses around him, generosity to great charlatans of the Iranian community, supporting lifestyles of famous two bit Persian Whores residing in America (before he got married to Yasmine) and of course donations to great Casinos, amusement centers and night clubs of the globe like no other could do!

Reza Pahlavi had blown away so much money that if we could stash the total amount in a single bank account, we would have been able to create a private militia resistance army, armed it with the latest state of the art weapons and get it ready to over throw the Akhunds in Iran! So practically, Reza Pahlavi has traded the freedom of Iran to freedom of his Shambool Tala!

The man is one of the most indecisioned, undetermined, weak, scaredy cat, conservative, pacifist, superstitious, mellow jello fellow that I have ever seen in my life! He makes a great Fun Buddy to hang around with, but he is the last person who you want to choose to run a small business, a company, a corporation, a political party, an organization, the opposition or a nation!

For God's sake, until yesterday he was connecting himself to Imam Hassan and Imam Hussein, claiming to be Seyed-e Olad-e Peyqambar. Momsey claimed that they are both Seyed of Hassani and Husseini (on that famous web page)! They figured, maybe if they go Holy, they can divinely ride the average Gav O Guspandan of Iran and possibly create an Imperial Islamic Iran (III) instead of Islamic Republic of Iran (IRI). Once the Shiite had hit the fan and I made a commotion about that laughable web page, Empress Farah got her webmaster to take it off the net! Afterwards, no one heard a word about Seyed Reza Pahlavi, yet suddenly he became Prince Cyrus Reza Pahlavi! The Ass Kissers and Hand Kissers around him, added a Cyrus at the beginning of his name and connected him to Achaemenids! This is how secular Mr. RP is! Any which direction the wind blows, right?!

The odds of Reza Pahlavi returning to Iran and becoming the Shah is as slim as my dad's schlong functioning without viagra, and if you would have known the present condition of my dad's schlong, then you would have understood! I mean long ago he was a famous playboy Journalist who used to bang all the Imperial Statesmen's and General's wives and daughters but today his Tabi'at Bahoot Afsordahe! Yesterday's Shambool Tala have become today's Shriveled up Prune!

Imperial Excuses and Monarchist Apologists

Once I was chatting with a fellow Opposition Leader, head of a major Monarchist Organization and he replied to all my remarks about Reza Pahlavi, in this manner. This is how the conversation went:

X: Reza Pahlavi is nothing like his Grand Father or even his father!

D: If he is given the Chance, he would perform in a worthy manner........

That's the whole point my friends! If he is given a chance! You see in our history, Shahanshah has never been given a chance! He creates the Chance himself!

Shahanshah does not wait for the people to grant him his crown and throne!
Shahanshah claims and takes and possesses his crown and throne!

Reza Pahlavi must be a new breed of wanna be Shahs! He claims nothing but he awaits for the people to call him and grant him his crown and throne! So far he has been waiting for 30 + years and on going!

How many more years shall we give to RP to get off of his Ass and to make a move?
Hows about another 30 years!?

I bet with you in 30 years, RP will be an old fart sitting in his Maryland Mansion on his rocking chair and walking with his walker and telling Yasmine that:

RP: Azhizham ..ohoo ohoo ...........soon we will be back in Tehran! Get my diaper and denture ready, pack the Geritol and my canes, soon I will become Shah! Ohoo ohoo..... argh........cough.....choke.... Shashid Shah!

Yasmine: OK honey, don't over exhaust yourself, remember what Doctor told you dear, you are not allowed to do too much political activity, you might erupt your testicular hernia!!!!!!

Reza Pahlavi gives a new meaning and definition to The Word Shahanshah!
Shah Sultan Hussein Safavid and Ahmad Shah Qajar, also came very close to capture the same definition!

If RP goes to safari, he cannot hit an elephant with a sack of rice from a yard distance! Give it up people, enough Monarchist LaLa Landish rhetorics! First go find a Real Shah, then sing Monarchist Songs of Javid Shah! Whose your Shah? Get a clue people, will ya?

Why Monarchy has Ended and We Must Start a New?

Up-Position of LA and DC

Then you got these bozos sitting in LA and DC, singing Ey Iran, Ey Iran songs over a belly full of Chelo Kabob! A group of Taryaki (Opium Addicts) and Araq Khor (Alcoholics) sitting in Persian Cabarets, saluting to each other's healths with Stolichnaya Russian Vodka and Beer Chasers, patting each other on the back or the butt and claim victory for the Iranian Opposition!

I have read an article, which some jujeh monarchist (Spring Chicken Young Monarchist) had posted a while ago, and a couple of sentences caught my attention!

"Razmara is the only remaining cabinet minister from the Imperial Regime, he has the seniority and backing of the opposition leaders and groups in the west, he makes a good leader ..........."

Then there was this good one:

"Zia Atabay (Allah rest his soul) mentioned that Iranian Opposition has been scattered but now they are getting united. Atabay said: I call The conference in LA and the future one in DC a Good Start ............."

Remember the cheesy conferences in LA and DC while back?

CIA Cinderella's Millions and 1001 Persian Prince Charmings – Part One

CIA Cinderella's Millions and 1001 Persian Prince Charmings – Part Two

I can make a lot of remarks about these two statements, but reluctantly I will only make two, let’s say one for each statement!

Whoever (some American Reporter) wrote these cheesy articles, is obviously not familiar with the Iranian Politics.

First of, Razmara is not the only remaining Cabinet Minister from the old regime! There are plenty of them ministers crawling around the globe! For God's sake, my own Father is an EX Imperial Regime Cabinet Minister and he is alive and well and happily out of politics! Who the hell is Razmara and what the hell has he done to grant him the leadership of opposition? And who are these opposition leaders who are granting Razmara the absolute Leadership and Spokespersonship for the Iranian Opposition?

A Prayer!

As I have said, a group of Opium Addicts and Alcoholics, sitting in Cabaret Tehran in LA and making policy for the Iranian Opposition! Lord please help us and deliver us from these Drunken Addicts, deliver us from Evil residing in LA and DC claiming to be Iranian Opposition!

Why Iran is a Mess? Problem and Solution: Iranian Opposition

Do major Iranian Political Parties and Organizations know about these Erections of Razmara by the LA Media and Up-Position?!

Are Major Nationalist, Monarchist, Socialist, Republican, Fascist, Nazi, Communist and Muslim political parties and organizations of Iran agree with this erection? How about Mojahedin or Cherikhaye Fedayi Khalq Groups? How about Kurdish Orgs.? How about political personalities of Iran?

I simply have to make a new website for the Eye-Rainian Up-Position of LA and DC and call this great website "" (! I'm telling ya, every other month, the Media Homeless of Iran from their garages or basements in LA, sends their Satellite TV signals and drags a couple of millions of Iranians into the streets of Iran and almost brings IRI to her knees! But not quitely! 30 years of this Bull Shiite! These great Basement Warriors talk for 12 hours in their TV Talk Shows and then repeat the same damn thing for another 12 hours and call it The 24 Hour TVs! Ahura Yazdi, Zia Atabay, Foroud Fouladvand, Qolam Ali Dozdeh, Akbar Kaf Gorgi, The Car Dealer on Glendale Corner, and The Rug Dealer on Willshire are amongst the ranks of these Up-Position Leaders!

Iranian Media Mafia

Why do I call them Up-Position Leaders and Feeders?

Because once a while, they re-position their balls and Moamele in their pants from right to left or vise versa, and then sometimes they move their Moamele in an Up-Position and feed some more Bull Shiite to the gullible Iranian Viewers! Nobody watches these programs except Old Folks or Young Naive and Sincere Activists who were either born in Exile or moved to Exile in very young ages! Even many of them do not believe all this crap, but due to hopelessness of the situation, they lie to themselves and make belief!

Who the Frag are these cheese-balls of LA, Media Homeless, Fat Bellied, Bald Headed, Lazy Ass, Khali Band, Gonde Guz, Chose Fil, wanna be politicians and Up-Position leaders of LA to grant Razmara the spokspersonship and leadership of the opposition? And what the hell has Razmara done during the last 30 years to be worthy of this position?!

Then you got Zia Atabay barfing a double yoked egg (Tokhme Do Zardeh Kardand!): Oh yee oh yee, hear yee, hear yee, Eye-Rainian Up-position of LA has decided to unite, this is a good start! Mr. Helel Yous, Hel Yousa............Shaky Ass turned Opposition Leader had barfed!

Excuse moi, but first of all, the so called Iranian Opposition of LA were basically a Few Media Homeless, Garage Based Satellite TV Owners, Cable Radio Owners, Ragazine and Rag Paper Publishers, Tabloid Website Publishers and other Drunks and Addicts of LA and vicinity! Some from London, Germany and Sweden too! Who the frag erected these bozos as Iranian Opposition Leaders?

Who the hell erected these tofeylis as Iranian Opposition Leaders, so they could in return erect Razmara as the spoksperson and Head of the Iranian Opposition?! These folks crack me up!

It’s a good thing that Farrokhzads, Bakhtiars, Aryamaneshes, and Shafiqs of the world are dead and not able to witness these charlatans as self claimed Opposition Leaders!

Folks, we live in a chaotic and upside down times!

When Reza Pahlavi (who used to play with his pet rat in Tehran) becomes Reza Shah-e Dovom,
Then Razmara (who used to play with his shambool in Tehran) will become Head of The Opposition, and of course Zia Atabay (who used to give his Ass away in Tehran) becomes an Opposition Leader!

Zia Atabay the Bache Kuni, then the singer, then the TV showman, then the TV Owner, then the Politician, and then the Opposition Leader!

Zip a Dee Doo Da De......... Yippi Ya Yippi Ya Ye!

With Opposition like this, is there any wonder, why we have been in exile for 30 years?!

Hey wait a second, what happened to Dariush Homayoun and Dr. Saeed Sakuee, Dr. Chap-dool and Dr.
Qanbar or Mohandes Shab-dool? Weren't they also erecting in LA?

Give me a break people! Will ya? This Shiite is getting old! Iranian Up-Position in Exile with their Cartoonish Shahs, Presidents, Leaders, Media Lords, Spokspersons and Manqal O Vafur (Opium Sets)!

No one in Iran have heard of these bozos and no one in the west listens to these bozos!

Every month I am on Video Net Meeting and Net Conferencing with Intellectual Student Body, Technocrats and Professional Engineers and Doctors in private sector and Employees in Government Offices in Tehran, Esfahan, Mashhad, Shiraz all the way to Ahwaz and Zahedan! No one knows these bozos, no one cares about these bozos or what they have to say!

Iranian so called Up-Position in Exile is out of touch with today's realities of Iran. They live in LaLa Land, a land created according to their own imagination! In LaLa Land, They erect Shahs, Presidents, Prime Ministers, Cabinet Ministers and Spoks-persons for the opposition!

Ahura Yazdi, Geda Ali, Kur Oqli, Kachal Hamzeh, Soosool ol Doleh, Shambool ol Saltaneh and Bache Kuni, all together get loaded with Vodka and smoke some Fur, then gather in Cabaret Tehran and become Iranian Opposition Leaders and erect Spoks-persons! Then they rush to DC and line up in front of Condy's House to beg for some money from the State Department and CIA! Their little Persian Hearts beats so hard for American Dollars! I wonder how come, they have not claimed independence for a new nation? Nation of TehranGeles located at Westwood!?

And then some go to Iran (in their imagination) and become martyrs of the opposition while trying to free Iran! Fathollah Manouchehri aka Fathollah Kos Mashang aka Foroud Fouladvand is the perfect example!

Fereydoun Hoveyda and Hope!

Once, I had a dialogue with our beloved Fereydoun Hoveyda (may his spirit rest in peace), the last Great Statesmen of Iran or as I used to call him “The Last of The Mohicans”! It went something like this:

X: Lap Dogs and Low Lives in dreams of becoming Legends, that’s all they are, Low Lives! But Low Lives can never become Legends! Bakhtiars and Hoveydas are all dead and gone and cannot be replaced. Legends are all dead and gone! Now all we have left are Low Lives!

H: My friend, don't be so pessimistic, have some hope.

Fereydoun Hoveyda, the Last of the Mohicans Has Left Us!

Fereydoun Khan, show me a slight gleam of light in this Dozd Bazaar and Bang O Salavat Community, and I shall become a believer in Hope?!

One of the main reasons that I had published the First Meaningful, Brain Stimulating and Educational, also Fun and Games, Fully Commercial Iranian Website (New IPC Website), as a Huge Database of knowledge about Iran, was not only because Hezbollah closed down our first website, but the main reason was to create this "Hope" for the Iranian Intellectuals and Knowledge Seeking Students to read and write for a Web Media, an "Alternative Tribune" as opposing to the usual 1001 Iranian Tabloids and Gossip Column Bull Sites on the net and Media Homeless of LA and DC! In a way, I took Fereydoun Hoveyda's advice, yet I have created this Hope for the masses! Every writer, columnist, cartoonist, graphic artist, animator, and author who is worthy of being published, is now published or will be published in this site.

You see, if these bozos and Media Homeless of LA and DC are the Iranian Opposition, then by Golly Jee Wiz, who the hell are we and others who ripped our asses apart for 30 years to free this God Damn Nation? I guess we don't count!

We got 2 Iranian Oppositions!

You see,

We, who been fighting this regime for 30 years are The Iranian Opposition.

They, who been banging each other's asses for 30 years are The Eye-Rainian Up-Position!

I tell you what............. If these Tofeylis are Today's Eye-Rainian Up-Position, then For Allah's sake, I beg you to count me out of this great Opposition. All I have is my good name and the masses do trust my name, please do not trash my name and allow me to resign from this wonderful Opposition.

I wonder what and when will be the next extravaganza and show by these Brave Up-Position Feeders of LA and DC?!

Riding in Wild Wild East and Fantasies of the Iranian Opposition!

LaLa Land!

Well, we basically have a LaLa Land, where the so-called Iranian Opposition of LA and DC resides and lives in the fragment of their own imagination. This Land is somewhere in between Heaven and Hell near Westwood! Please do not mistake LaLa Land with LoLo Land, were Lori Forouzandeh and next of her Kin and followers in IPC, reside in!!!!!!!

A Fine Prayer!

Dear Father at Under, Ya Ahreeman, deliver us from LA and DC Bozos, because the level of Bull Shiite, Shiite Water (Anabeh) is simply exceeding my hight and it’s way above my head! Dear Lord of Darkness, our father in Hell, I cannot breath anymore, please deliver us from the Media Homeless of LA!

Inside Information from Iran

You often do not hear the real stories in the Exiled Media. Personally, I am very skeptic of Exiled Media, specifically Media of LA, NY, DC and London. To me, almost "All" Exile based Iranian Televisions, Radios, Websites, Newspapers, and Ragazines' information value are equal garbage. I get my news of Iran, directly from IPC Operation members, other comrades and friends via:

Instant Messengers
Video Net Meetings
Net Conferencing
and live in person when they return from Iran.

Almost "All" Iranian Exile Media are biased, twisted, and exaggerated, and basically their news are created out of Iranian Exiled Media Lords’ Rectums!


I have many critics amongst the Iranian Exiled community. Tomorrow, after reading this article, Up-Position Leaders and Media Lords can shout outloud (like many times before) and call me a Traitor, call me a sell out, call me whatever............

Jebheis can call me a Monarchist,
Monarchists can call me a Mojahed,
Mojaheds can call me a Marxist,
Marxists can call me a Fascist,
Fascists can call me a Zionist,
and "All" can call me a Hezbo!

Basically, I know the Alley and "All" can scream from the top of their lungs and call me all kinds of names; however, I am not the one who lives in LaLa Land! I am a Realist and my job is to study the present situation, do a cost analysis, analyze the facts and set the agenda.

Unlike, most Up-Position Leaders/Feeders and Exiled Media Lords, I deal with Reality and Logic. I don't belong to any particular political group or party, I am not a fanatical fan of any organization, I don't have any blind sympathy to any leader or org., I have no ties with any group. I work with opposition as a whole and I critic all of them. My agenda is to free Iran. I am not fighting for any Shah or President and surely not any wanna be Fuhrer or Leaders in LA, NY, DC or London! I do not let ideology blinden me!

Anyone who does not like to hear my words, can kiss my muscular bottom! Up-Position Leaders, Media Lords and Career Exilists may despise what I preach. Well, what can I say, they can all stand on top of each other's shoulders and the one on top of them all, can reach out and touch my left testicle (Imam Hussein), so he can be holding something substantial for a change! Reach out and touch something fellows! But you can never silence me!

I have a duty to Iran, Persianhood and Freedom Fighters of this nation. My words are valued by student activists, resistance and the average Joe. I could be careless on what some bozo in LA may or may not like to hear from me! I am who I am and the masses will be my judge. I see facts and I say what I feel. I am not politically correct and I do not care to be! What you see is what you get. I have one side and that's the one you see. I speak the truth and I am what I am and I'll be what I'll be. Honor, social justice, freedom of speech and democracy is my game. At least I am not a Fake.

Opposition Leadership must realize that they shall conduct the battle plan according to the accurate and correct knowledge and understanding of the enemy. You must fully know the enemy, his activities and capabilities, so you can conduct a valid analysis of the up-to-dated situation, before you start a tactic to reach your strategical goals. Your judgement must be clear of fanatical bias, so you can put yourself in your enemy's shoes. That's the only way that you can get up-to-dated info to plan your campaign.

30 years ago, when I started fighting the AIOG (Arabo-Islamic occupational Government), my primary tasks were to study Arabic, Quran, Hadith, Nahjol Bilaqah, Shari'a of Shiite, Elahiyat, History of Islam, Resalat of Ayat ol Ozam, Military capabilities of Hezbollah, fundamental thought patterns of Hezbollah, and psyche of the enemy.

You must be in your enemy's shoes and mentally, be one with your enemy, so you can fully understand him. That's the only path to victory.

Domestication of Persians

The Iranian Disease

My advice to "All" shall be:

Keep Real, Be Yourselves, Be with the Masses, Be Solid, Be Logical and Be a Realist.

End of the story


In Hope of Better Days.....
More power to All Freedom Fighters of Iran

Ex Patriot, Present Symbiote

Dr. X

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