Where is Lori Forouzandeh?
Now where is Lori Forouzandeh this time?!
Oh Jimmy Dean, Oh Jimmy Dean, in Five O Dimes, Oh where O where could our Lori Forouzandeh be? Inquiring minds wants to know?
Oh where o where could our Lori be?
Is she in the closet?
No no, nooo no!
Is she in the cupboard?
No no, nooo no!
Is she under the bed?
No no, nooo no!
Is she naked in between the sheets?
No no, nooo no! Well, Hmmm could be!
Q: So, Where is Lori Forouzandeh?
A: Stoned!
So what happens when Lori Forouzandeh disappears for various periods o time, you ask?!
Peekaboo, I can see you!
Folks, she is chilling somewhere, Shiite faced, stoned out of her mind, and laughing @ us worrying over her! She is just avoiding the questions, which has been asked from her! My little girl is seeking attention again! But until she answers those questions, I shall ignore her! Ain't I a son of a bitch?!
People often ask me many questions? Hmmm ........
People often ask me if Lori Forouzandeh really drinks & takes pills @ the same time?
I can truly testify to that:
Folks,
Lori Forouzandeh often gets more stoned than the United States Embassies around the world!
Why are you guys laughing so hard? Damn you are laughing so hard!
I don't know about this crowd! I don't know if you are cheering for Lori Forouzandeh getting so stoned or are you cheering for more Embassies to get stoned? Hairy crowd indeed!
If we ever develop an Olympic Drinking Team, Lori Forouzandeh will be the coach!
I'm telling ya, that woman is something else!
So every time you don't see Lori Forouzandeh around and you worry if she is missing! Not to worry, she is hitting the special stash!
I know her best, I used to baby sit here since she was 6 years old! What a baby, how could one resist, not molesting that child? Specially a pervert baby sitter such as Moi?!
So basically I grew her up since she was 6 years old, and even then, she was raiding the bar in the house, breaking a keg o beer and taking a swim in it (Riot, Killer)!
While other little girls her age, were playing barbies, Lori was throwing Acid Parties with Codeine in her Barbie Doll House, but instead of serving Barbie and Ken Dolls, she was popping up all the goodies herself!
That woman is so bubbly! She has a bubbly personality all right! She is always somewhere with the corkscrew popping up the Champaign bottle, full o bubbles (Riot, Killer)!
So every time you see Lori is missing, not to worry, she is hitting the secret stash somewhere!
Oh Lori , don't you ever change, oh lovely, don't you ever change, cause I love you just the way you are!
Sign,
Yours and Lori's Family Doctor
Dr. X