IRAN107 - SEX
1-
Boys learnt that sex was filthy & associated it with insult. I remember seeing
extremely filthy & imaginative Fohsh as grafiti in school toilets. Some boys
used to use exteremly Filthy Fohsh. The filthier, the more laat & Macho they
thouqt they looked. All about sex organs doing insult to you & the females
in your family. Some would even duel with Fohsh.
They also learnt to kiss-&-tell coz they didn't learn to form relationship with
girls. They often used the word for female genital to refer to beautiful
girls: ajab k*iyeh! Many slept with prostitutes, even when they were in their
30's & still single. Many didi this it even after they got married(this is very
common in the west too).
When they got married they turned their wives into a sacred fortress:
u don't go out, u don't talk to other men, u don't lauq in public.
Could a major factor for this be that they know how filthy other men
would be looking at their wives?
I don't remember seeing men going for walks with their wives in
small towns. Wife stayed home, while the king went out to do manly things
& do business to make money. Man was called aaqaa & woman was called
khaanum & before u it they were haajaaqa & haaj khaanum.
2-
Early (years 10-xx) Muslim men raped any girls/women they fancied. So they
had to draw a line & mark their own women as off limit. Is this why Muslim
women have to have Islamic cover/hejaab & stay away from other men?
3-
I remember hearing a lot about Hoseyn tuti in primary school. He was supposed to
be a bacheh baaz. Laat kids used to use him to scare others or mock them: Yeh I
saw u with Hoseyn tuti, yeh hoseyn tuti was looking for u, etc.
What a culture !?
4-
In Grade 7-8, the teacher who tauqt Arabic was a child molester
Bacheh baaz. I know, I know Iranians are too sharif, but we did
have one! I'm very grateful/lucky that he didn't get me, but he got
one of my friends. It was late in summer & I met my friend on the
street & he looked very sad. He told me that he had tajdidi in Arabic
& didn't pass & that the teacher had asked him to go to his house if
he wanted to pass. My friend was much older than me, so he must have
failed couple of years of school BEFORE 9'th grade! God knows how many
times I think about him, which used to fill me with savage ANGER!
Now I still get angry, but I think maybe he too was a victim in his
own childhood & this makes me SAD!
5-
There was a hiq school next to American school in Tehran(Zhaaleh).
At close time, many kids would run out shouting & yelling.
I remember many of the young boys used to go & hang around the cars
so that they could watch the American girls getting into the cars
with their short skirts. Their body languge was very loud.
Then they would leave & talk to teach other excitedly & exagerate
"taa tosham didam!"
6-
One of my male cousins was overweiqt (chaaq with Iranian std). His
breasts were big for a young boy, coz he was just overweiqt. Too many
times I saw a line formed on the beach in the north by young shomali boys
just staring & pointing fingers & lauqing hysterically. My poor cousin
often covered his breasts With his hands. It used to make me angry. Come
to think of it lauqing at 'others' was a favorite pastime for many shomali
people (specially the uneducated ones). Is this a feature in Iran? U must
fit the norm, or u'd be lauqed at (& if u persist & u r too different, u'd
be beaten up(kotak) to teach u a lesson!).
7-
I remember many young boys from small towns talking about maadion (mare) &
braging about having sex with them & good it was. Their whole face would liqt
up when they talked about this & carried on & on. This I found absolutely
shocking, being a big-city boy & having had a sheltered life.
Considering that many books have been written by some of the major olamaayeh
dini about this subject, describing when & how it is OK to do it, this must
be an important source of 'entertainment' in small towns/villages.
8-
In the first 3 months of my sarbaazi in Tehran, there was a small guy who looked
very young. He was very childish. Soon couple of bullies started showing special
attention to him & joke with him. I knew one of the bullies who looked at the
poor kid as it was customary to look at sexy girls in those days (hungry wolf
looking at the young lamb?). There were 100 of us sleeping in one part of the
khaabgaah. The kid always hang around one of the mobsers, or was it the mobser
who hang around the kid. This used to really piss me off. I did not spend any
time with the kid so I can't tell if he was gay or not.
9-
In the second 3 months of Sarbaazi, I moved to an small town. Here a few of the
local boys started feeling superior/arrogant & went around bullying others. I was
very sad & withdrawn at that time & before u know it the head bully started picking
on me & joking with me. Before u know it he was calling me khoshgeleh. One of the
local guys, by the name of Sahloddin noticed this & was very sympathetic. He was
a very honest, kind & devout Muslim (hard as it may seem these days, but such people
did exist, but they were in minority IMO). He told me how bad things could get in
small towns with big bullies ruling & doing anything(he had sex in mind) they could
get away with). Finally I thouqt enouq was enouq & started talking to the big
bully, but he wasn't a talking man. So I had to have a fiqt with him in front of
everybody to prove that I was not weak. I was called into jenaab sarvaan's office,
who was a reasonable man & I told him what happened. The bully stayed away from me
after that, but the sarguruhbaan complained to me that "y didn't u come to me?".
10-
I did some work in an office once in Iran. I remember hearing all about female
genitals & what the old guys in the office did to them in their younger days.
With the kolfat, with dokhtar dahaati, etc. But they never ever mentioned their
wives. Come moharram, they would fast & become spiritual & holy!
11-
A female friend once cried for me coz her X-boyfriend, who slept with her for
years, had dumped her saying he would never marry a non-virgin. They were both
UNI students too.
12-
Once somebody told me about how he had sex with this girl who was in love with him.
Then he forced her to have sex with his friends too. He had to beat her up to force
her, coz she didn't want to do it. He seemed proud of himself telling me all this.
One woman recently wrote a letter to Iranian.com saying she was raped at 2 (IIRC)!
13-
God knows how many kolfats were raped by pesar-arbaab. I have personally heard
from people who said, in their sarbaazi (sepaahi) days, they used to chase after
dokhtar dehaati & grab them & have sex with them (the unnatural way coz they had
a heart).
14-
Once a married Iranian man in his 40's told me about having embarasing dreams
about young boys!
15-
Years ago, Fereydun Farrokhzaad had a concert, where one of the Sharif men
angosht kard to FF & said something rakik. A friend, who knew FF, told me he went
to see FF back stage & found him crying his eyes out saying "amaan az in mardom".
He must have been proud to be singing to his dear ham mihannaan in qorbat upto
that moment?
16-
And of course that abar mardeh va shaa'ere por gohar, whose name I frogot, who is
very popular when the time is riqt, who has a book of poetry like:
"gar khoshgelaki maraa begaa* , az Kar* u maraa khosh aayad"
17-
Many Iranian men marry after they are 38, when the ambition is the same as before,
but NOT the ability. When, finally, the brain at the top, if any(!), starts to run
the body & soul. But many marry very young girls under 22, so when they are 50 the
wife could be 30. This could lead to a lot of problems even in Iran.
I know a few cases in Khaarej where, the family pressures being less than Iran,
the woman was lead to finding young lovers in secret. It could lead to Dishonesty,
guilt, depression & regret/hasrat. Many could end up taking refuge in religion:
taarekeh donyaa. It can often lead to many young widows wearing black for the rest
of their lives.
It could be very hard on the man too & it could lead to anger, depression &
addiction to drugs/alcohol. Wife cheating on the husband could be devastating for
an Iranian man: it would break their back.
Last but not least, IMO this makes it very hard for a real partnership of minds &
close friendship.
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18-
Once I found out that one of my male friends was gay. This really shocked me
& I tried to encourage him to find a girlfriend, but it was too late. He was
very sensitive & emotional. He was raised by his mother & had no brothers or
sisters. I remember one or 2 evaa khaahar in small towns, who used to talk
& lauq all the times & were often lauqed at.
I know 2 guys who went to mixed sex school (yes if u were rich enouq, u
could do it) and turned out Gay. One used to tell dirty jokes in parties
& dance in very girly/female way.
The word for 'gay' was not 'happy/cheerful', but often used for insult.
19-
There was a Haaji in a small town who had a small shop selling porcelain
dishes. He was about 50 & had 2 wives. Many of his customers were women
buying dishes for new brides to be. He never looked at the women when
talking to them & looked at the ground instead. He had a reputation for
being a lady's man & was once cauqt in a public women bath with a young
woman.
20-
I remember many Laat men, in the shops or outside, who used to watch women
all day & say filthy matalak to them. They were often the leaders in the
sineh zani or dasteh in Ashuraa.
21-
Many young boys used to do 'dare' & finger school girls on streets & run away.
The boys would then join their friends, lauq hysterically & brag about it.
The girls used to swear at them "gom sho khaak bar sareh hammaal". Then the
girls, who always walked in groups, would talk & giggle among each other.
22-
Some of the older boys were into eshq & would often have a flower to give
to the girl, they had their eyes on, around the corner from the girl school.
They didn't have good grades & often sang songs by Googoosh/Dariush. They
paid a lot of attention to their hair cut & their clothes. Many boys used
to hang around Girl schools for dokhtar baazi.
23-
Once in my childhood I was picked on by a bully kid in an small town. He
used the most filthy Fohsh & wanted to fiqt with me (a big city boy).
I got scared & went to my Dad crying. My dad had a talk with the father of
that kid.
24-
In my childhood, many times me & my male cousins got special/dirty looks from
Laat men on streets. Come to think of it, I feel sorry for the girls growing
up in Iran being the target of so much insult/filth & dirty looks.
25-
All the jokes about Qazvin!