Afghan 101
Part 3
On Afghan Culture, Society, Religion and Politics
Admzad
Admzad@yahoo.com
December 9, 2007

Those Eyes: Afghan girl, oppressed but strong!

Book 4: Sulima & Hala: Behind the Burqa, Our Lives in Afghanistan

Story is told by B S Yasgur who met the sisters in USA in June 2001.

This is a very important book & is a must-read for all who like to understand the culture in
Miran/Afghan/Islamic-countries.

[--
Sulima was borne in Afghan in 1954 & left in 1979.

Mother's father, Babajan lives with Bibijan (only 1 wife) with many children,
grandchildren, cousins & other family members in their immense mansion which was
like a compound.

Growing up she lived in the house of her father's father Aghajan..
--]

Those Eyes: Afghan girl, misty and mysterious!

Aghajan was all about power & control. …The atmosphere in his household was tense, a
simmering pot of conflict. The 4 wives squabbled incessantly. … When the men were
out, the wives allowed themselves the luxury of screaming, cursing, & raging, but when
the men were present, they fought with silent hisses, glares, muttered laments, & pursed
lips.

[--
This is HAVU factor in action.
U can bet that the kids learnt to fight & hate their half-siblings.
If my mother hates u'r mother, then I hate u too.
--]

The real friction was between my grandfather & my father (Abajan).

[--
Father worked as a photographer, taking family pictures.
He also spent time on his father's crops of wheat & rice. His father didn't pay him salary,
coz he was living in the house rent-free.
--]

In desperation, Abajan started his own sesame seed oil company.

"You are forbidden from using my seeds for this company," Aghajan said, his voice as
sharp as his farming implements. "If you really feel the need for extra money - & I cannot
imagine why you would, since I am allowing you to live for free on my property & eat at
my table - then you must do as I did. Purchase land of your own. It's not seemly that my
son should be selling oil like some peasant."

Abajan remained silent. One did not argue with a parent. The word of a parent was
considered equivalent to the word of the Qur'an. Just as you could not talk back to God,
you could not talk back to an elder. But Abajan reached a decision. He would move out
of his father's house & seek his fortune in the big city of Kabul.

[--
Any way, father moves out to Kabul & they end up having many 'guests' most of times.
A girl is expected to do housework, so Sulima is "taught to wash cups & spent much of
my day at the sink."
--]

I served countless cups of tea to countless men who came to discuss politics, religion, &
current affairs with my father. Abajan was a brilliant, thoughtful & provocative man.
And, like his father, he was a character. Fierce, stubborn, opinionated, & powerfully
articulate, he captivated his guests with his political insight.

Abajan was attracted to communism when I was young. He held forth for many hours to
his friends about the teachings of Marx & Lenin … He argued & debated with his
friends, & often I would hear an "Aha!" of triumph as it became clear that he had made
his point & a friend had no appropriate rejoinder to offer.

[--
This takes me back to the old days in Miran. It seems to me the culture is so domineering
that people use any debate as excuse to dominate others. It doesn't matter what they
debate, all that matters is WHO is WINNING the debate. They just jump from here to
there, using any argument they find to beat the opposition, be it a friend or family
member or, God forbid a stranger (this is where it can get nasty).

What's more, not only they could easily change sides from one day to another, but often
become kaaseh garm tar az aash. Meaning no matter which side they take, they are
always fierce & stubborn & more fanatic than the people who originated the idea.

As we see later, Abajan turns into a fanatic Muslim over night.
--]

"We are going to change our practices so that we will all stay healthier," Abajan
announced after dinner one evening when I was about 7 - it was shortly after we had
moved to our house in Kabul. "You see, when we eat directly on the floor, we can get
germs into our food."
"What are germs?" Karim (brother 4 years older) asked.
Abajan flashed him a dark look, as he often did when he thought Karim was asking a
stupid question - which was most of the time.

[--
I love this bit : "flashed him a dark look". This is a major feature of the culture. Not only
people are quick to anger, but they react & show anger with their entire body, specially
the face & the eyes!
--]

So Abajan was remarkably enlightened in some ways - & remarkably benighted in others.
His autocratic tendencies brooked no defiance, no flexibility, & no consideration for the
emotional needs of his family.

[--
Abajan often asked question from the kids to test them. When Karim couldn't answer,
Sulima often could. Abajan would often brag to others about how smart Sulima was.
--]

Abajan made no attempt to hide his preference for me, & Karim hated me for that. As the
older son, he was supposed to be the favored & anointed one. …

If I answered correctly, Karim would suffer &, of course, I would suffer later. If I feigned
ignorance, Abajan would be angry & I would suffer any way. …

Abajan scowled at Karim, then beamed at me. "Bring the flyswatter," he ordered. When I
hung back, he repeated the command. "If you do not bring it right now, I will hit you
with it as well."
I brought the instrument of torture from the kitchen.
"Now you hit Karim with it. A big boy like that, my firstborn. He should know the
answer. He shouldn't need his little sister to help him out."

[--
If this is not a classic example of the Goh culture, what is?
It's all there: men r superior to women; age creates superiority (older kids r superior to
younger kids); you have to beat 'sense' into kids & punish them to teach them lessons;
parents creating friction amongst the kids by being stupid, you have to show who the
BOSS is even to your own kids, etc etc.
--]

I knew I would pay dearly later. A sudden sharp blow to my ears. A kick on my shins
when no one was looking. Or I would wake up one morning to find my mattress soaked.
Karim, gloating & self-righteous, would point it out to my mother & say, "Sulima wet her
bed."

[--
If by any chance u find this funny, think again. Karim will end up doing terrible things to
his own sister when he becomes the head of the family.
--]

Madarjan folded me into her arms. "Remember, Sulima, the best revenge is to be good to
your enemy. Embarrass the person with your goodness. …"
That was Madarjan's philosophy. She always encouraged us to be conciliatory,
understanding, & loving, even to those who hurt us. Was Madarjan teaching me to
become a doormat? Couldn't her philosophy have been caused by a culture that I was
already resenting, that forced women to be submissive & allowed men to be abusive?

[--
I've known such kind women in Miran too. I don't think they were the norm. They were
exceptions, specially among the uneducated gaav/olaaq or amongst the fanatic Muslims.
Most of the ones I knew were from loving families who had kind & caring parents & they
were not fanatics in their religion.
In fact Madarjan appears to have had a kinder family than Abajan. Madarjan didn't have
any stepmothers, but Abajan did. Sulima found her maternal grandparents kinder than her
paternal grandparents.

But Afghans have proved in the last 25 years that kindness is not a feature of their
culture. Same can be said about Miran.

In fact Islam is NOT about kindness or forgiveness. Islam spread by the sword & killing
& rape & loot, not by kindness.
--]

Then Abajan changed. I was only 10 years old, but that day marked the end of my
childhood.

[--
In 1964.Abajan went to Mecca on a work assignment, not the real Haj.
--]

His departure had been business as usual. No special rituals. No fanfare. …
He returned with a new found religious commitment & zeal. He rejected his former
associations & declared his renewed commitment to Islam. "At one time in my life I
believed in communism," he later said about that time in his life. "In Mecca, I came to
understand that it is badbooy, a stinking system. It is godless. It is wrong. So I had to
chose the other way, the right way. The way of Islam.

[--
See what I mean by kaaseh-garm-tar-az-aash. He used to fight with friends about
communism, but now he hates all communists & would have them all killed as Godless.
Even his old friends. There is no middle ground in the culture, either extremely cold, or
extremely hot, always hating 'others' running on anger & revenge, always feeling
superior to 'others'.

Any way, he ordered all women in the house to cover their hairs.

One day, Sulima was serving Abajan water so he could wash his hands. But her scarf
slipped off her head. He gets angry & tried to strangle/choke her with her scarf to teach
her a lesson. "don't ever let me catch you with your head uncovered again."
--]

From that day on, a reign of terror fell upon the household. Cousins & uncles who were
involved in Communist activities were no longer welcome in our home. We children
were no longer allowed to offer an opinion that differed from my father's. We were
no longer allowed to ask questions. If we made a stupid mistake, we were berated or beaten.
We were expected to learn our lessons well & there was no room for disagreement or
human error.

I learned my lessons well, but not the lessons of obedience, modesty, & religious
dedication that my father hoped to teach me. I learned vigilance. I was always on guard
for the next attack, the next inquisitorial question, the unexpected surge of his fury. ..
I learned the fine arts of stealth & concealment as I buried my true feelings under the
scarf of filial duty.

[--
This is what I mean when I say Islam doesn't work & forces people to lie & live double
lives, to live with 2 faces: one for public, one for themselves.
--]

My father wasn't the only tyrannical enforcer of so called Islamic law & custom in our
house. My grandfather was just as fanatical & just as frightening.

[--
Even though his G-father was stingy, he tried to give his son's family gifts, but Abajan
would not accept, which was a direct affront to Aghajan's role as patriarch of the family
--]

P23---------

I was 9 years old when a new constitution was passed, calling for a democratic process in
the choosing of leaders. For the first time, Afghanistan would be governed by the
people….It was a revelation to me to discover that there were women running for office.

[--
Wow, they had it all. But how could it go so wrong for so long?

Well Afghans have proved beyond any doubt that gaav/olaaq can not have 'democracy'.

If democracy means being like SWISS, then it could take them more than 4 generations
of proper mass education to get there, if they r lucky & work together to completely
change their culture & don't sell off their country to enemies.

If it means just having a voting system, then any gaav/olaaq could be bought to vote any
other gaav/olaaq in power, then the gaav/olaaq will end up fighting each other for power
& the system will not work in the long run. And when u add Islam to this, then u'd end
up having rape & loot & kill & destruction, especially if the culture is all about
domination & power.
--]

[--
She joined the WDO, Women's Democratic Org, the first women's rights organization
which was created with Soviet help. Her job was to recruit new women into WDO.
But the only official entity that in any way recognized & supported it was the communist
Party. So she ends up getting involved with the communism.
--]

One of the new women shyly raised her hand. "But the Qur'an allows men to have many
wives. Why, even the prophet Mohammed had several wives."
My heart inflamed, I took a daring leap. "Then the Qur'an is wrong. I would burn the
book that allows men to marry many women, that perpetrates such a terrible injustice
upon us!" I had heard Mariam say this, & it struck me as powerful & true.

[--
Wow, she was 'hot'!
She had such high goals, but the culture forced her on the dirt & crushed her as we'll see
later.

This is Y it will take more than 4 generation to change a Goh culture, but even then it
won't be easy. It will need a powerful government to force it happen & force the
gaav/olaaq into submission..

Well, in her case we don't have to go too far. Her bully father found out & forbade her to
even get out of the house. U can read the book to find out the details.

She was lucky, coz Karim, her bully brother was not living in the house then.

Her phone calls get monitored & her father constantly monitored her to catch her red
handed. "u've lied before. I'm certain u r lying again."

She tried hiding her writing under the matters but Abajan found it & beat her very
severely.

At times, he lashed her with metal cable! Once she was immobilized in bed & it took her
2 weeks to recover.

Read the book to find out the details of him even crying & begging her to repent.
Let's not forget that he himself used to be hot head communist, not that long ago.

She is then forced to move out of Kabul to her grandfather's house.

Then, later her father tells her to go back & forces her to sign s something saying she's
'behave'.

"Life under Abajan's roof was an elaborate, carefully thought-out, extended deceit. I had
no choice, but I also felt no peace."

Then King Zahir closed the Kabul Uni coz of the ane-qollaabi students were too hot
headed.

She asks to go to college, but father didn't agree. She asked Dr Amir. Her father's
mentor, to help her & talk to her father. This made her father very angry "how dare u
wash our family's dirty linen in public & humiliate me!"

In 1972, Abajan had a car accident. He told her "Don't cry, my baby. I know who did this
& I will live. Just get me to a hospital.".

She prayed continuously, even though she had forgotten how to do it. "Please God, don't
let him die." But he died, which forced her into rage. She even cursed God for having
taken her father.

This meant that Karim, the bully brother who hated her & was only 4 years older, became
the new BOSS. She was 18, he was 22.

He started partying & DRINKing! Partied were in their house & family was forced to
cook & clean. Kraim refused to work & the family savings started shrinking.

They are forced to move back to Aghajan's house.
--]

p55---------

[--
She is excited coz she thinks she can now go to UNI to study medicine, what else to
become Doktor! But Karim enters the room & puts a GUN on the table! Then tells her
"what makes u think I'm going to let u go to medical school?" …
--]

"You're not going."
I flung my book bag onto the floor. "What?"
"I'm the head of the household now. If I don't want you to go to medical school, you
won't go."
The brute. The bully. He deserved to be slapped. He deserved to be screamed at - but I
wasn't going to try any of that. Not with a gun on the table next to us. It was not
uncommon for a brother to kill a sister if he believed she was being rebellious,
promiscuous, or disobedient. It was considered an honor killing - a deed he had not only
the right but the duty to perform in order to remove shame from the family name. Karim
hated me & I wholeheartedly believed he was capable of using his gun.

[--
1- She'd slap if she could. She has learnt to hit/beat people to teach them a lesson too.
The culture changes everybody to fit it's mold.

2- He was her 'real' brother in a family with only 1 wife/mother. If such a family could
be this savage, then imagine how bad the situation would be with more 'normal' families,
those with 4 wives (HAVU factor).
--]

Hot rage churned & seethed in my belly. "But why?" My voice rose in anguish, then
broke. "Why would you do this to me?"
The cruel amusement playing around his eyes reminded me of Abajan. "Because I can,"
he replied.
Medical school was his flyswatter, & I, like a trapped bee, was buzzing frantically &
flapping my wings as he swung at me.

"Is that all?" She asked.
"Not really. You can study biology if you want to. … Oh one other thing"
I knew there had to be a catch. "What's that?"
"you have to marry Jamal."
"That ahmaq! Absolutely not!"
"He's not an idiot, & if you don't marry him, then you can't go to school."

[--
He told her that Jamal was his best friend & that he wouldn't let her marry Rashid &
bring shame on the family.

She had been attracted to Rashid & they used to write letter to each other coz they
couldn't just date & spend time with each other. Rashid was a communist like her, but
they ended up backing 2 different leaders & stopped their 'friendship'.

He told her that she couldn't go to school unless she was engaged. School would start
next week. He gave her 1 month to find someone to marry. If she couldn't then he'd force
her marry Jamal.
--]

Madarjan was sitting in the other room, overhearing everything. I'm sure Madarjan's
heart ached for me. But what could she do? Karim had a gun. He also had the legal right
to run the family as he wished. He was the head of the household now, & even his mother
was required to be subservient to him.

[--
There was a guy in Uni, Yakub, who had shown interest in her by telling mutual friends
about it. She wrote a letter to him saying that she was interested in him too.
She told Karim that she wanted to marry Yakub. He told her she couldn't coz he didn't
like him.

She went to her uncle for help & gets 'engaged' with Yakub, but hardly saw him.

A year later, the polite & shy Yakub changed & started having expectations: "come to
bed with me". She refused & told him "not until we are married". Yakub told her "You
know, there are other ways to do it", but she wasn't sure what he meant & told him "No".

After several months of pressure, he disappeared. Then he showed up limping. He told
her that he'd gone to visit his family in the mountains & fell of his horse.

Sulima is informed by a friend that Yakub had kidnapped Ali, the 10 y-o cousin of this
friend, & locked him up in an empty house for 10 days to rape him. Yakub then let Ali
go, but Ali told his father. Ali's brothers then gave Yakub a severe beating, hence the
limping.

Wow! Not bad hah? Fanatic Muslims 'saints' kidnapping 10 yo boys to rape & letting
them go as if nothing happened? It must be 'normal' in the culture, or else the boy
wouldn't have been released. Maybe Yakub had been raped too in his childhood too.

One evening, Sulima is returning home, but the 8 y-o neighbour's boy calls her "Sulima!
Come quickly! My sister is in the car, she is asking for you." Sulima tries to look into the
car, but she is grabbed & finds herself inside, on the floor of a moving car. The driver
was Yakub. He was chuckling & told her that he'd paid the boy, who came up with the
plan, "smart boy!".

Not only you can pay 8 y-o boys to lie & come up with plans to kidnap women in the
neighbourhood, but such boys are regarded as "smart", wow!

Yakub took her to a friend house & told her he was going "to have my way with you".

She end up bowing down & kissing his feet & telling him that he was the king & he was
right & that she'll marry him & then he could do anything he wanted with her.

He then kissed her & told her that he was glad that she came to her senses & told her not
to tell anybody anything about this. She is then returned to her house at 0100.

She wrote a letter to Karim, the bully brother, telling him everything & begged him to
realize how dangerous Yakub was & not to force her to marry Yakub.

But Karim told her that "poor Yakub" was forced to do what he did & had every right to
show her who the boss was. He forbade her to leave the house till she came to her senses
& locked her in her room. He then threatened his mother & sisters that he'd shoot them if
they helped Sulima.

After a while she tells Karim that she'll marry Yakub & started going furniture shopping
with Yakub to prove that she was telling the truth.

Yakub keeps on asking "when are we getting married?" & threatened to take her to the
mountains.

Sulima says "they were wild people, primitive, almost savages. In their world, the law of
the wilderness reigned. I could be killed." Well, a 'savage culture' can only create savage
people. I'm surprised that she doesn't see her own brother as savage.

She tried to go to the court to cancel her engagement, but there are delays & she thinks
that perhaps the officials had been bribed by Karim to ignore her. So she sought help
from a friend of his father. He told her that the records showed that she was married to
Yakub & that the forged document must've have been brought in by Karim & her uncle.
He told her the only way out was for her to marry another man & bring in the new
marriage document to cancel the forged one.

She then think of Ibrahim, a distant relative, who had sent her letters for years asking her
to marry him. "He was handsome & well spoken" but that's what she said about Yakub
too. His father was the nephew of Aghajan's youngest wife.

Ibrahim hears about Sulima not being sure about marriage & went to see Madarjan, who
told him that she was engaged. Ibrahim said "Even if she was married & the mother of 6
children, I would kiss her feet & make her a crown upon my head."

This is a very interesting comment. In a culture where men only want young virgin girls,
why should a young man say this? A Goh culture only creates problems for people.
Young people are forced to lie & live double lives & never learn to deal with life & their
urges in a positive & realistic way. They develop unrealistic expectations & often end up
doing the wrong things & making stupid mistakes that could never happen in a more
open & educated society. Savage people running around all day in pain not knowing what
they are doing & creating more problems for themselves, never learning to THINK & act
rationally.

Anyway, Sulima wrote to Ibrahim & agreed to marry him. She has been the "object of his
desire" for 8 years!

Y should a young man have a girl as an object-of-desire for 8 years, without ever dating
her or knowing much about her?! Could such a marriage last for long?

After graduation, Sulima went to court with Ibrahim & they got married secretly.

Ibrahim: "I should be carrying you on my shoulders through the city, with people
throwing roses at your sacred feet."
Sulima: "We can't tell our families yet. …"

She said good-bye to him & got into a cab & went to her Aunt's house. "I felt something
I had never experience before. It started as a warmth in my cheeks, then a tingling in my
belly. I thought of Ibrahim again, handsome & courtly beside me, & my heartbeat
quickened. By the time I had gotten out of the cab, I knew what it was. I had fallen in
love with my husband. I didn't know what to do with these feelings."

Would anybody be surprised if the marriage doesn't work out? Not only they hardly
know each other, but they have hardly dated anybody or have learnt to be around the
opposite sex. They don't even know much about each other's family. Then all of a
sudden they are 'married' & wonder about the feelings they've never known before.

Anyway, the hormones take over & they totally abandon LOGIC & get lovey-dovey in a
very silly way.

"Whatever it was, it was new. It was scary. It was wonderful. It made me want to fly &
sing. I could not wait to see Ibrahim again."

But first they have to get rid of Yakub who wanted to do it in 'other ways'!

She told Yakub that she was married to Ibrahim & they went to court to cancel her
'marriage' to Yakub.

Yakub's brother shouted "You are a fahesha, a godless bitch & a whore." Then Yakub
Said to her "I'm sorry he spoke to you that way. You have every right to your happiness
… Let me call a taxi for you."

Taxi stops & she is forced into it to find Yakub's brother driving it!

It seems that deceit & lying is part of the culture. Yakub is quite happy to lie to her to
seduce her, when he's planned to kidnap her with his brother's help.

But this time she "grabbed at his crotch & pulled hard" & managed to get out of the car
& then got another taxi & went to her aunt's house. Yakub & his brother go there too &
get inside, waving their fists. "You are paste-baysharaf! ….You bring shame to Islamic
society. Your mothers are pigs. If you don't make Ibrahim divorce her so she can marry
my brother, I'll come in the night & kill you & your entire family!" Yakub's brother
yelled.

This is very interesting coz Yakub went to 'university'. If 'educated' Afghans behaved
like this & could kill entire families in the 70's so easily, then things must be far worst
now, after so many years of savage killings living with total lack of logic.

Ibrahim's brother & uncle (married to Madarjan's sister!) were not happy with the
situation & thought that she 'belonged' to someone else & should've taken care of her
problems before marrying .
Ibrahim had no job & lived with his uncle. He then arranged to move in with his mother
& married sister, Seema, on a short notice so that he could have Sulima live with him.

"I was exhausted. In the past 48 hours I had married, annulled an engagement, escaped
abducted, watched my aunt be threatened with her life & moved into a new home with a
new husband."

The Goh culture gives no peace or freedom to people & forces them to run around like
headless chickens, lying & making mistakes & getting into all sorts of problems.

At dinner, Ibrahim's mother went over to Sulima. "Her mouth was smiling, but her eyes
held a different expression. Something unreadable. Her eyes did not match her words &
when she hugged me, her embrace felt weak, like water running down my sides.
'mubarak daughter-in-law. Congratulations. Ah, how happy his father will be when he
returns & sees his youngest son a bridegroom' "

Ibrahim's father had left when he was 4 & rumor had it that he was living in Russia with
a new family.

After dinner, Sulima was about to go upstairs when Ibrahims' mother, Deljan, took her
arm & gazing intently into her eyes said:

"Take care of my baby, he wanted you for so many years. But although you're smart,
you're beautiful, & you come from a good family, you already belonged to someone else.
You bring scandal with you. … It is up to you to make up for the trouble he's going
through on your behalf. … Serve him faithfully & uncomplainingly. Grant his every
wish. Never let the smile vanish from his lips. …"

Yakub put pressure on the family, so they are forced to move out to live with Ibrahim's
cousin.

Sulima's younger brother, Zamin called her & asked if he could go & visit her, but Zamin
had always disliked Ibrahim. They used to fight in the family gatherings & as they got
older, Zamin continued to harbor anger toward Ibrahim.

Yes indeed, the culture is all about anger & revenge & KINEH.

She asked him why & Zamin replied in a hurt way "Do I need a reason? You're my
sister." She gave him OK, but told Ibrahim not to be there when Zamin gets there.

Zamin asked for a tour of the house "to be sure that Ibrahim was taking good care of his
sister". So she should him around, including her bedroom in the tour.

That very night a homemade bomb was thrown at their bedroom's window, but hit the
screen & bounced back into the yard & set fire to the lawn.

Karin, the bully brother, had arranged for Zamin to be the spy, to scout out the house &
report its layout to him. The bomb was thrown by Kraim & his friend & Yakub & his
brothers, to restore 'family honor'. Then they drank wine & smoked & congratulated
each other.

"My brothers! My own brothers had done this to me."

No wonder Afghans lived in hell for 25 years!!!

Ibrahim then decided that the "Yakub's family honor" had to be restored. He talked to them
via a mediator & decision was made to pay them 50K Afghanis, 2 guns & 5 sheep.

As can be seen here, guns were part of the culture, even before the Masters armed the
Afghans, so those who blame only the Masters for all the fighting & killings ignore that
the killing & guns were & are major features of the Afghan culture.

"I had put Ibrahim's family in a terrible position. They were being humiliated - relatives
of a man who had stolen another man's woman, & now it was coasting them money as
well. I hid my face in my hands & started to cry."
--]

p88----------

Yasin was another matter. He was Ibrahim's older brother & had always been nasty to
Ibrahim. Uncle yusuf told me that throughout their lives, Yasin had always bullied
Ibrahim. Once Ibrahim got marks on a test & wanted to show it to his mother, but Yasin
tore it up. Ibrahim told his mother, but Yasin ran away when Deljan tried to beat him.
That night Yasin beat up Ibrahim so bad that Ibrahim could hardly walk the next day.

Yasin had always taunted Ibrahim. "You can't do anything. You're a bachay nana, a
mommy's boy. A sissy." When this happened, Ibrahim would turn to Deljan for comfort.
"You're a wonderful boy, Mommy's little darling. You don't have to prove anything to
anyone."

Yasin was still nasty to Ibrahim. "Look at the tanbal. Hanging around the house like a
lazy bum, freeloading off my work & uncle Yusuf's". He extended the unpleasantness to
include me as well. "Well, if it isn't the loser's wife. How much are you going to cost the
family now?"

But his comment about Ibrahim's work troubled me deeply. "Why aren't you working
Ibrahim?"

He shrugged. "I just haven't managed to find a good job yet."

Ibrahim had not finished college, but I thought that this was because he had already been
working. "Why not?" I persisted.

He took both my cheeks in his hands & drew my face to his. "I don't like it when your
mouth pouts," he whispered, planting a kiss on my lips. "Things just didn't come together
for me, that's all."

[--
Wow!
When one older brother is a bully, it could be an exception, but when most older brothers
turn out to be a bullies, then bullying must be part of the culture!
Just like beating seems to be part of the culture.

She married someone without even knowing if he worked or not!

She then did partibaazi & got Ibrahim a job.

Karim went to see Uncle Usuf & Deljan, when Sulima was out fo the house & told them
"You should all know the type of woman you have allowed into your family. She is a
whore.A lowdown, sniveling, lying worm. Do you know that she had a boyfriend before
she even became engaged to Yakub?"
When Uncle Usuf tried to object, Karim cut him off. "You should force Ibrahim to
Divorce her for the sake of your family."

Not bad hah?!
A culture where an older 'brother' throws fire bombs in the bedroom of his own sister &
then tells his in-laws that his sister is whore & tells them to divorce her!
--]

p93-----------------

The Marxist revolution took place in 1978. I was overjoyed. I felt it was the best thing
That could have happened to Afghanistan. … Massive literacy programs were instituted
…The rural population was resentful. …

[--
Yes indeed, the gaav/olaaq didn't want education.
Also, the Masters were paying the top gaav/olaaq to fight the Soviets.
--]

"If any woman became the minister of women's education, it should be Sulima," Uncle
Usuf declared. "She has been educating women since she was a child. They could not
choose a more appropriate person."

[--
A 24 yo young woman who didn't know what her husband did for living for a minister?
Does this mean that the country didn't have anybody more 'mature' & more educated at
that time, or is it the case of families trying to get a foot in the door of 'power' to make
themselves more important?

Sulima is shocked to find that she is pregnant. She's been using 'counting' method to
minimize the chance, but "there had been that one night …".
"You must be pregnant."
Sulima: "Impossible."
"When is the last time you had your adat mahwar?"
Sulima: "I don't know. 2 months? No, 3. No, 4 months."
….
"But Ibrahim," Sulima wailed, "I'm not ready for a child. .. I don't want this baby. ….
Nothing is going to make me give up my work"

The next day she went on the swing, but her aunt stopped her & told her she should take
care of herself in her condition coz she had a new life inside her.

See what I mean about the culture forces people to run around all day, being hyper active
adrenaline junkies, never learning to THINK. A 24 yo educated woman who is good
enough to be a 'minister', but can't manage pregnancy & gets told off by her aunt for
being on a swing, while her brother goes around telling people her sister is a whore!

It's strange that Meena the heroin of RAWA, also got pregnant when "she was not ready
& didn't want to stop her work". She had somebody else raise her daughter.

When the child was a few months old, Sulima came back home from a trip to the north,
to educate women, & found Ibrahim on the sofa. She asked him how was work, but he
said he hadn't gone to work coz "I missed you. I was sad. I decided to take off the day."
He then tried to talk her into going into bedroom, but she was angry that he hadn't gone
to work.

A few days later she questioned him about his not going to work & he got angry "You
can't tell me what to do!…. No, what you really want is a divorce." They argue & end up
going to court to get divorced! The clerk asked them if they were sure about the divorce,
but they backed down.
"I - well, not really. I don't want to divorce."
"Neither do I."
--]

My happy bubble burst when Hafizullah Amin, my old adversary rose to power…..we
had been on particular bad terms since my second year of college, when I had challenged
him during a meeting that was at his home.

[--
She had told HA how she told people that Quran said that men & women must be
educated. But HA got angry that "what kind of communist quotes from Quran? Go &
read the communist manifest to them." But she told him that they wouldn't understand it.
HA got angry & banged his fist on the table "who are you to tell me what to do?"
Sul: "a fellow member of the communist party."
HA: "You're no communist! Your father was a Muslim & you're following in his
footsteps. … I want you to leave my home. You're not welcome here."

Everybody is quick to anger & trigger-happy & kineh'i.

Now that HA was assistant to the president she knew she was in trouble. She tried to
watch what she said about him. "Gone were the days of free speech. Spies were
everywhere. You could not air your views openly. … I like to speak my mind, so this was
particularly difficult for me.

Mind you, all the spies were true Afghan people, who got paid to do it.

HA asked to see Sulima in his office.
HA: u don't like me very much, do u?
Sul: shake of the head to say no.
HA: & y not, if I may ask?
Sul got enraged because of "who, me?" act of HA & lost control: "because you're
dreaming what this movement is & what it could be. You're betraying the ideal we've
fought for, some of us have died for."
HA's face flushed & they start shouting at each other. HA shouted how he's done so
much of this & that. She shouted back that there is no freedom & equality. The guard
heard the shouts & went in the room, but HA told him "leave her alone, she's crazy, but
she won't hurt me."

HA: u don't understand anything. u r still a child. U r naïve & stupid. U know nothing
about the real world.

Sul told him that she rejected his 'real world & that she fought for freedom & equal
rights.

HA: what do u know about correctness? U'r father was a religious man. He worshiped
the false god of Islam. … u'r foundation is false & u've not shed u'r childhood.

HA then asked the guard to escort Sulima out.

Sulima was indeed very naïve for not knowing that a savage culture can't have freedom
& equality. She didn't know that the very same gaav/olaaq whom she tried to educate had
no trouble selling her to her enemies & could kill her without any problem.

She was also trigger-happy & could not control her anger. She was not 'diplomatic'
enough to be in politics. Being honest & hard working & speaking-one's-mind doesn't
make good politicians. But she can't be blamed for the faults of the culture.

A few days later the president was assassinated & HA became the president.
She was then pushed aside & later was put in prison because of the things she had said
about the president. She asked to see HA's nephew, whom she knew. Then she is freed
by this partibaazi but is warned to keep her mouth shut.

But she got arrested again & the HA's nephew told her that he couldn't always help her
& advised her to leave the country. "Jail is a dangerous place Sulima. Terrible things
happen to women here. You can love the country from afar …". He told her that he'd help
her with the passport.

Meanwhile, Uncle Ususf & Yasin (Ibrahim's bully brother) had sold their house & had
moved to Austria. Yasin had married an Austrian woman, who had been traveling in
Afghanistan.

So they left Afghan in 1979, a few months before HA's assassination, & went to
Germany.

Then they go to stay with Yasin, who was nasty to Sulima & Ibrahim & Helga, his own
wife! Then they move out to a rented room. Landlord found Sulima a cleaning job for a
Uni professor, who found her a part job in Uni as Lab technician. She then did partibaazi
& found a job in a loading dept of a company.

Yasin had a go at Ibrahim that "we know who the real man in your family is. She
(Sulima) does everything. … You are nothing but a zancha. Still the bachay nana. … My
wife is not smart. I am the man. …". This made Helga cry & Sulima upset, but Ibrahim
did nothing. He was into drinking beer.

The next day Ibrahim slapped Sulima & then said he was sorry, didn't know what came
over him. "I miss home. I miss my mother." He also told her that he left his job "I didn't
like the job. It's not for my honor to drag boxes around." Mind you he had no skills &
didn't speak German & got the job coz somebody did Sulima a favor.

He told her that she made too much money & that he called her but she had gone out.
"Bet you had lunch with your wonderful Herr Director. Bet you slept with him after
lunch." He said that he the right to quit coz she ate in fancy restaurants while he moved
boxes around. She tried to be understanding.

Two weeks later, Yasin told them that they had to move out coz he had a fight with Hans
the landlord, who had helped them a lot. She questioned why they had to move, but Yasin
got upset & told Ibrahim "do you let your wife talk back to you like that? Explain to her
what family honor means …". After Yasin left, Ibrahim told her not to speak like that to
Yasin. "He is my older brother. I owe him respect. I'm youngest. He doesn't owe me
respect. It is better to be the family dog rather than be youngest."

As u can see hierarchy is everything in a domineering culture. It's all about being
superior to others & 'honor' & 'face' & 'what would people say'.

Sulima told him he could leave but she would stay coz she had paid for the rent. Ibrahim
sneered "now I understand. You are sleeping with Hans (landlord). That is why you want
to stay." She denied it, but he wouldn't let go. She then said that if that was true then that
would make him a pimp. He lost it & gave her a bad beating, then said:

"Oh my God. Oh my poor darling. What have I done to you? … What did you make me
do to you? Don't know what got into me …"

She said "I'm sorry I said that terrible word to you. I won't ever say something like that
again." He buried his face in her hair "that's my girl." They moved out the next week.
...]

p122-------

[...
From here everything starts to fall apart, or you could say after they moved out of
Afghanistan. She works hard & tries, but he is a slack bum & starts drinking &
pretending to me a 'real man'.

Every time she gets a praise from others or rises up, he beats her. She had to explain to
people how she got a black-eye "I bumped into the dresser."

She got accepted to study for PhD & goes to classes, but is forced to quit coz she thinks it
would lead to divorce & Ibrahim taking her daughter away.

Afghans now wanted to fight the communism & kill & rape & torture other Afghans.
Ibrahim's family moved to USA. Her friend are being killed & raped in Afghanistan.
When she cries about her dead friends, Ibrahim calls her 'crybaby' & says "Why should I
care?"

Then the Uni Dept she works in is moved to France, but the move is delayed for 6
months so that Sulima can move there too. They care so much for her. They even found
an apt for them in Paris & education for Ibrahim. They pack to leave. It all seems perfect.

But the day before the move, Ibrahin told her that they were not going, coz he was going
to USA to be with Deljan, his mother! "You have arranged everything. I will be living off
my wife. This is unacceptable." He told her that she was going to France, he was going to
America, taking his daughter & that he'd send her the divorce papers later.

He left with the daughter. She thought she had lost her husband & daughter & had
nothing to live for, so she took pills, but somebody from work rang before she passed out.

She woke up in the hospital to find Ibrahim there (he had gone to Yasin not USA!).

Sulima did not let go of his hand. "I'll do anything you want …"

Let's not forget how she had such high goals, yet notice how low she has sunk!

She could not look in the Director's eye when she told him she wasn't going to France!
The Uni did so much for her & delayed everything for 6 months, so that she could go.
She had agreed to go & Ibrahim must've agreed to go too, coz they had already packed to
go!

She took the daughter & left for USA, while Ibrahim stayed back to finish packing.
Ibrahim said good-bye in the airport "I can start my own business there. I can be a man
again. We will b happy, like we were in the beginning."

I find this very hard to take or accept!
The idiot lazy savage has never worked before, yet he now thinks he can open his own
business to be a real man?! She has always found jobs for him, but he quit all of them.
She gets such a lucky chance to study & work in her 'field', in spite of not knowing the
language or having much job experience, yet the idiot starts drinking & beating her up
& turning the opportunity of the life time into a disaster.
Stupidity is a major feature of a culture that has NO LOGOC what so ever.

Sulima entered the house in USA, but daughter cried when Deljan took her into her arms.
Deljan turned a wrathful face at Sulima "so you've turned my granddaughter against me,
just like you did to my son."
Sul: "What do you mean?"
Deljan: "Do you know that until he married you, he used to sleep in my bedroom, just
like he did when he was a little boy? Poor baby, he got so lonely at night. I would stroke
his head & say , come to Mommy. Then when he marred you, he started to sleep in your
bedroom. You took him away from me."

Then seema, Ibrahim's sister, told her not to let it get to her, coz Deljan had been acting
strange since they left Afghan, even towards her own daughter.

This is very interesting, coz they didn't have much LOGIC in their lives even in Afghan,
but now it seems that because they left, now they are acting 'strange' as if to justify their
actions & behavior?! How about the gaav/olaaq back home killing & raping? Are we
gona say they became 'strange' coz many Afghans left?!

Anyway, the next day Sulima told Deljan that she was gona look for a place to live,
which Deljan didn't like coz "in our country we all live together". They argue & Deljan
told her "then get out … didn't you hear me? I said, get out right now!"

Her sister-in-law helped her move into a cheap motel & took care of the expense. She
would go & visit Sulima at night & take food for her & the any letters from Ibrahim.
Letters were "almost always sent overnight express. A lot of money, I knew, but on the
other hand, it showed how much he loved me."

What a mess! They can't even feed themselves, but waste money on express mail!
The idiot has no job, no education & can't even control his anger, but we can't blame
him, he is a product of the savage culture.
If one or two people r stupid, then it's an exception; but when the majority r stupid & r
totally irrational, then there is something wrong with the culture.

Letters would say "I am heartsick & lonely without you. …. I am sorry for everything I
ever did. … I'll write more tomorrow."

Yes, u guessed it, another expensive letter will be sent tomorrow. Then Sulima would
"kiss the letters & put them into my suitcase. I had been right to leave Austria. My
husband loved me."

She found a place & "started cleaning with a vengeance" with ammonia cleaner. But she
passed out. Landlady found her & told her she got chemical poisoning.

This is hard to understand from someone who had studied biology. But the culture
teaches people to do khar-kaari without thinking. Somehow people are taken over with
sure & adrenalin & forget to think & work smart.

She went house to house looking for house cleaning work & found some. Then found
some car seats from a trash area. 2 weeks later her lazy bum husband arrived, but didn't
want to go to 'his' house, which Suliam had worked so hard to find & clean. "No, I want
to see Deljan first" he told her. Ibrahim & Deljan cried "my baby, my beautiful little boy,
nothing, no one should ever come between us. No one will ever love you as I do. You are
home with Mommy."

Ibrahim told her he was tired & wanted to go home to rest, but Deljan said "you are
home, darling." Ibrahim told her he wanted to go to his own place. Deljan grabbed
Sulima's arms & gave her the ice-look "you'll never win. I will give him so much love
that he'll have to come to me."

This is all part of the power-game in a culture with HAVU factor, where people learn to
fight their own step brothers/sisters/mothers with lies & deceit & backstabbing for the
favors of the 'ruler' of the family.

The next day, she went to work & returned to find Deljan at her house telling her that she
left without giving Ibrahim proper breakfast & that "a good wife make her husband
breakfast."

She found him work at a construction site.
--]

p133---------

When did it start to go sour? The first day Ibrahim didn't feel like going into work?
When I became pregnant again & was too sick to cook or clean? When he started
drinking again? When he graduated from beer to whisky? When he quit his job for good?
When I complained about having to clean up after him & his rowdy friends, a few fellow
Afghans & a few men from work, who had begun hanging out all day, drinking & eating
& leaving their cigarette ashes on the floor, dishes with congealed food in the sink, &
candy wrappers everywhere? Or was it when our landlady kicked us out ("you're a doll,
honey, but I can't have those lowlifes hangin' around my property')? No matter. The
change was gradual at first then accelerated like a mad car without brakes, careening
downhill.

[--
Could anybody be surprised?!
She could've gone for a PhD, but chose to follow a savage irrational idiot instead!
She used to ride on a high horse & lecture people, but now she can't even make rational
decisions.

Anyway, he started hitting her again, when she was pregnant. Once he choked her so bad,
she thought it was the end. It gets worst & worst & once she calls 911, but hangs up. But
police traced her phone & showed up at her address. "What happened to you?" they asked
& she said "N-nothing". Police started asking questions & Ibrahim had answer for everything.
Police said they didn't believe & asked if she wanted to press charges. But Ibrahim took the
upper hand & said he was leaving & getting a divorce. He spat a curse at her & left. But she
cried "don't leave. I still love you."

One relatives had visited her in USA & told Madarjan about Sulima being mistreated.
Madarjan wrote a letter to her & signed "Your suffering mother."

I can't stand this "suffering" term!
It seems that everybody suffers, caused by the stupidity & lack of logic of the culture, but nobody
tries to fix things to improve their lives. To make things even worst, some even seem to take pride
in their suffering & try to compete with each other in telling how they suffered more. This is even
worst with women, who seem to have nothing to do after 45, but to suffer & lament about it on
& on & on for the rest of their lives.

She called Ibrahim's Uncle Usuf, who told her that divorce was not proper for a Muslim wife.
But he also told her things that she should know. But before u read further make sure u r sitting
down! Coz if u r a 'normal' person, u'll be shocked.

"Deljan's father was a crazy person. A dewana. He did terrible things. He used to marry 14
year-old girls, virgins, then cut out their private area after the first night so no one else would
ever want them. Of course, he no longer wanted them either. So would take another girl.
Ibrahim's mother is the daughter of one of those girls. My brother left her, although he did
not go through a formal divorce."

Allaaaaaaaaaaaaaho Akbar!

All this in a fanatic 'Islamic' culture, where girls r supposed to be covered?!
Can any sensible person read this & claim that Islam means peace?!
Islam, after 1400 years, has only has managed to create savage gaav/olaaq & suicide bombers.
It was created by the sword & killing & looting & rape in the first place.
This Ususf seems to be 'educated', but how could his own brother marry the daughter of
such a mad man, in a 'closed' culture where people talk & gossip? Then he just 'leaves'
her wife & children, when it is not 'proper' for Muslim women to be divorced?!

This time, unlike the past, Ibrahim didn't apologize. Deljan gave her triumphant gaze "it's only
a matter of time"! Sulima went down to her knees & apologized to him "I'll try harder. I'll be
a better wife. I promise."

Surely she must be exaggeration, nobody could be this stupid, a Biologist?!

But that night they made up & slept together.
Ibrahim told her that things would be better if they had more money!

Surprise, surprise, he started hitting her again. She asked him if they could try counselling.
He told her "counselling is for crazy people. I am not a dewana. I never want to hear about it
again."

Ibrahim left a few months later. Deljan rang her with smug pleasure "so now you're on your
own." She told her Ibrahim had gone back to Austria.

Let's remember that he didn't speak the language, didn't like Austria, his bully brother couldn't
stand him. It was his idea to go to USA, which really messed up Sulima's work & PhD
studies. But now the Goh goes back to Austria.

She was doing house cleaning, but got into gardening. She worked hard & sometimes handled
as many as 5 jobs in a day.

Always doing Khar-kaari without THINKing to make sure to make the right choice or
decisions. Smart-Work is not part of the culture. I'm guilty of this myself, too many times
I care to remember.

Now make sure u r sitting down, coz shock is coming up! But perhaps the culture forces
Such shocks on people that they get desensitised & nothing shocks them anymore?!

2 months later, she gets a letter from Ibrahim "I want you here with me. A wife's place is
with her husband. Come back to Austria. Listen to my orders & do as I say or I will file for
divorce."

Not bad hah?

Sulima wrote back to him that: u had always blamed me for everything, so go ahead &
get the divorce. u've lost everything, u'r wife, u'r country, u'r pride. I will not beg u to come back
& will not abandon everything I have worked for so hard ...

Ibrahim rang her & the hormones took over again. "his precious voice, the voice that had
crooned to me in the night, ...yes yes yes please come home. Please. ... this time, I will
make it perfect"

But they couldn't get a visa for Ibrahim & Usuf told her to go to Austria.

She had paid down payment for a house & had moved into it, but now she put the house
on the market. But this was 1989 when Soviets withdrew from Afghanistan. So she wrote
to Ibrahim & he said yes they should go back. So she sold the car & everything else & left
for Austria on her way to Afghanistan, "and we were going home!"

"And we were going home" to live in 'hell'! Yet another big mistake?!

This seems to be another feature of the culture: they always seem to find 'happiness'
somewhere else! Kids may ask parents for this or that, but parents could promise
them that they would have it all in their summer holiday when they go north/south.
Or like here, when they always jump from here to there hoping to find it there, but
When they get there, things get worst. They don't identify the real cause of the problems
& always move there where "things would be perfect again", like in the good old days!

Any way, she gets to Austria & asks herself "why had I come back? What was I getting
into now?"

The whole culture seems to be all about ACT-first (without thinking) & reaction (often
angry ones).

They decided not to return to Afghan coz their families warned them against it "it was too
dangerous. Mujahaddin were tearing through the country, raping & pillaging".

They should've known this from personal experience & should've never decided to go
back in the first place. But they should've done many things differently, if they could
'think' & act rationally.

They stayed 18 months in Austria, which was the "best 18 months since we had left
Afghanistan." Ibrahim was working then.

In 1991 Ibrahim's visa for US is ready & they move back to USA. "Now everything was
beyond perfect. Ibrahim was sober, & we were happy together."

Even when I was reading the book I thought "yeh, sure, I wonder how long it would take
this time for the HELL to return".

Do u see a pattern here: all suffering & pain & stupidity, then "the best few months of my
life …"; then back to all suffering & pain & stupidity, then "the best few months of my
life …"; on & on & on moving from one disaster to another.

She borrowed money from friends & started a landscaping business. She also becomes
pregnant again.
--]

p145------------------

But this time, the downward spiral came so fast that I was completely unprepared.
Deljan had been furious that Ibrahim & & had stayed with Nancy instead of with her.
She was putting daily pressure on Ibrahim to leave me. Ibrahim hated the new house "it
was bought with woman's money." Every time the bank called to talk to Sulima, he
would get upset & said "I'm the man of the house & that they should talk to me!"

[--
She told him he didn't speak English & didn't know what mortgage was, but Ibrahim hit
her. He also started drinking & partying & going to Deljan again & hitting her for not
doing enough cleaning or not ironing, etc etc. This is when she was pregnant & throwing
up.

Her daughter went to the mall with friends, but lied to her claiming she was working with her
teacher. She got worried & ended up spanking her & screaming at her. "My God, I thought,
I'm turning into Abajan. I still have not forgiven myself for that."

The culture forces people to run around & make all sorts of mistakes & never have any peace or
pleasure, mostly living with pain & frustration & anger. This often results in outburst of anger &
violence.

She asked a mutual friend, who knew about their problems to talk to Ibrahim.
Ibrahim got drunk & angry "why did you bring our private business to Sabre? How dare you speak
ill of me to someone I care about?" He knocked out her front tooth & stabbed her in her neck with
scissors. Police put him in Jail, but Deljan bailed him out. She got restraining order against him.

Two weeks later they talk & he said he agreed to use a 'mediator'. Ali the mediator told them that he must get a job & not complain that his wife earns all the money, & when Ibrahim asked her to do something try to listen without arguing. She agreed to salvage "my marriage to the man I loved."

She found that Ibrahim had taken $20000 from her bank account. She still owed most of the money to her friends who lent it to her. She got angry at him & he attacked her with a axe, but she ran away & called the police. She then moved out to a woman shelter. She once went home to get cloths but found phone bill for $1400 from Ibrahim calling his bully brother in Austria. He didn't have any jobs or income, she had to pay the bills! Ibrahim showed up & called her names "your mother is fahesha! Your family is the scum of the earth!" She got angry & talked back to him that his mother was fahesha & he was the scum of the earth & …. He clenched his fist & she ran away.

The next months Ibrahim, a real Afghan man produced by Afghan culture, filed divorce on the
ground of abandonment.

Uncle Usuf & Ali encouraged her to try to make up & she called him. Read the book for details.

"Madarjan was devastated when she heard about the divorce. I am told that she took to her bed for 2 weeks. Once again, it had been presented to her by some of Ibrahim's cousins as my fault."

She took a lawyer to fight his motion of divorce. The court agreed. He was ordered to pay child
support. A year later she filed divorce on grounds of a year of separation & it was granted.

Ibrahim never paid any child support & went back to Austria & married a German woman.

She says that "the Afghan people must become self-sufficient & self-sustaining. I believe that the
key to permanent change in Afghanistan is to provide education to both women & men."

I agree with the education part. But it will take over 5 generations to do it, if it is 'allowed'.

It's not this/that person or group, it's the culture which is the source of the problems.
Yet many like her r forced not to go back to fix the problems.
Many give lectures & ride on their high horses, but they just leave when they feel in 'danger'.

I'm glad she left, coz she'd be dead otherwise.
I'm glad that she finally saw the light & that she told her story.

This book also has the story of Sulima's sister, who also went to US.

Somehow I'm sure that if I talked to Karim or Yakub or Ibrahim or Deljan, they would
all paint a completely different picture where they were the real victims & Sulima was
the guilty culprit bitch. They would all swear by all that's holy too. Deceit is a major feature of
Islamic culture, where it is extremely difficult to find the 'truth'.

I'm sure Deljan would tell me heart breaking stories of how she 'suffered' all her life & sacrificed so
much for her children, who no longer visit her & how she was 'saint' & helped everybody, but
people were always cruel to her.

I've known many women in Miran who treated their daughter-in-laws or sister-in-laws like shit but
played the role of a suffering-saint after they grew old.
--]

* * *

Book 5: This book is by S Shah : Storyteller's Daughter

[--
It has many good examples of how Afghan culture is totally F*ed.

I don't have access to it, so I'm relying on my not very good memory.

She was borne & bred outside of Afghan & had Afghan parents & decides to go to Afghan
to learn about it.

One Afghan guy (A1) lives in Pakistan, working for the Army.
He spends a lot of his own money of the Afghan refugees, so much so that his wife is against it.
Another Afghan guy (A2) is a fighting mujaahed, riding around on his white-horse.
One day, A2 brings his very sick wife on his white horse to the refugee camp. A1 takes the wife to
the hospital risking his own position. A2 cries & says he can't thank A1 enough ...
Guess how the story ends?

Eventually A2 sets fire to A1's house in Pakistan because A1 ran out of money & could not meet
A2's expectations. So A2 gave himself the right to burn A1's house down! I wonder if A2 thought
Islam means 'peace' too! This story really got to me. It shows hoe the mordaab would destroy
everything that comes into contact with it. Even if u try to clean it to help, it will destroy u.

This book sheds light on many aspects of the shit culture of Afghan, which is very much like
Miran, eg:
bacheh baazi (rape of male children),
extreme authoritarian culture,
khaarej-raised Afghans (like the author) do not fit-in back in the Afghan culture(!),
etc, etc.

The author was told stories in her childhood about how brave/no-bell the old Afghan rulers
were. One story was :
after the ruler had a ton of 'Pilau', he asked his guest "what should we eat for dinner"!

This is all they ever did: eat & shit & F*.
No wonder the whole area went down the drain.

They were so stupid & divided that the Brits took over the whole region without much trouble.

She also got a group of mujaahed help her move to Afghanistan. It was a hard trip, but the leader
forces herself once to sleep in her room, coz he had to show others that he-was-in-charge. They
didn't have sex, but somehow I think he told others that he did. Mind u, she was an Afghan!
There was a young boy in the group & the leader's attitude towards the boy unsettled her (bacheh
baazi?).

She was traveling on the back of a van, dressed as a 'man' & the Afghan driver kept telling jokes &
Looking at 'him'/her in the mirror. The first night she was tired & felt hands touching her. It was the
Driver. But he quickly left when he found he was touching a woman! The next day the driver was
very quiet & never looked at her! Homosexuality is part of the culture, but like many Arabs, they
don't see it as 'normal' & not as homosexuality!

Her family tried to do match making for her & math her with a guy, but she couldn't stand him & his manners. She was borne & raised in the West & had 'western' values.

She ended up paring with a Swiss guy (reporter?)& moved into a house. She soon learnt that she
needed help managing the house, so she hired an Afghan guy, who ended up running her whole life. Like they bought a goose, but HE got angry & asked how much? Then HE took the goose back to the marker & fought with the guy who sold it & took the money & went & bought better AFGHAN goose instead! Somebody in her position must have a big Afghan goose & his honor dictated that he should buy at & that his boss should not pay too much for it.

He then told her that somebody in her position must have guards, so he hired some relatives to work as guards. The whole culture is about face & image, u have to be seen above-others, so others won't try to dominate u! U have to dominate to prevent others from dominating u.

* * *

The following happened in Afghanistan, where different groups took over periodically.
See if u can find something wrong with this picture:

Group-A , true devout Muslims, fought the enemy & took over & people liked them,
huge crowd danced in streets for 7 days & 7 nights, men had to shave their beards,
but then they started raping & looting & killing.

Then, Group-B , true devout Muslims, fought the enemy & took over & people liked
them, huge crowd danced in streets for 7 days & 7 nights, men had to grow beards,
but then they started raping & looting & killing.

Then, Group-C , true devout Muslims, fought the enemy & took over & people liked
them, huge crowd danced in streets for 7 days & 7 nights, men had to shave their beards,
but then they started raping & looting & killing.

Many changed sides, now fighting for group-A, now fighting for group-B, now back
to group-A, now fighting for group-C!

Many groups split into even more groups, fighting even their original group.

Top leader/commander of group-X tortured many women & children, but then he was
captured by group-Z & was asked "how could u torture women?", he replied "well,
I didn't agree with the idea of torturing women" ….!
-----------------------

Can u see anything wrong?

But in all these years of nightmare, the victim pee-pole always end up blaming
1 person for the atrocities. Oh, it was Dostum, it was Golbeddin, it was X, it
was Y. Or blamed the group: Mujahedin did it, Taliban did it.

Some even blame super powers. But if X or Y hadn't done the killings, thousands
of others, all true believer devout Muslims, would have done far worst. So it's not the X
or Y, but the damn CULTURE which has created such killer asshole idiots who could
destroy their own country & kill/rape their own people.

Why didn't the idiot gaav/olaaq do anything to end/fix the nightmare?
They are very quick to blame X or Y to remove any responsibility from themselves.
Oh no, "what could we do?"

They also remove any blame from Islam, by blaming groups or individuals. Oh yes,
Islam is very holy & teaches people to be kind & holy. If people turn out to be asshole
killers, it's because they don't follow Islam properly. Wow, how could so many groups
of killers, rule in the name of Islam, butcher thousands, but people like them coz they are
Muslims, but then not follow Islam properly?! Even worst, how could fanatic people
who would beat/kill others for not following Islam 'properly' & give 'Fatwaa', just
sit back & let their killer asshole rulers do despicable things, ruining Islam?!

Masters have often used fanatic Islam for their own benefits. If they r really serious about a
'civil society' & 'democracy', then they should let pro-LOGIC people who speak against Islam
have their say & help spread their message to the mass gaav/olaaq. And, last but not least, the
corrupt 'Islamic' regimes should not be helped to come to power or remain in power just because
it suits the Masters.

I use the term 'MORDAAB of MIRAN' to refer to Iran coz no matter how I look at it,
not only there is NO LOGIC in the culture, but it seems that it is bent on SELF
DESTRUCTION (hence MIRAN) & to make things even worst, it will destroy
everything that comes into contact with it (like a mordaab).

This total lack of logic/sense can be seen in the turtle-scorpion joke about mid-east in one of
my writings.
...]

* * *

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
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