Argentina and South America Sea Cruise
X Diaries Part 1: Sea Cruise
Ahreeman X
April 2, 2025
Sapphire Princess Cruise Ship
Cruise Index Chapters
___________________
Part 1: Sea Cruise
Part 2: Land Cruise
Prologue
World has 7 continents and 7 oceans. Unless you are a travel enthusiast or a scientist, you don’t travel to Antarctica but the 6 other continents are normal to travel. I travelled to many places in the world but never travelled to South America, so maybe it is time to do so! One of my obsessions in life has always been Argentina. I have been a fanatic of Argentina National Football (Soccer) Team since the 1974 World Cup Germany. When Argentina won the 1978 World Cup, I was floating in the air. Back then, I was in Iran (I spent the first 16 years of my life in Iran). Yes, I do believe that "Mario Alberto Kempes" is a better player than both “Diego Armando Maradona” and “Lionel Andres Messi!” Many do not agree but That’s what I believe.
It is not only the soccer but I enjoy the history, culture, art, music, dance, traditions and particularly Tango of Argentina. One of my favorite historical characters is “General Jose De San Martin” the liberator of Argentina and Chile, also co-liberator of Peru (with Simon Bolivar) from Spain. I had never found the time to visit Argentina and there were times that Argentina was not stable to travel either due to political chaos or crime and security. Now “Javier Milei” is in power, a National Populist and a hardcore Trumpist who decided to save Argentina and switch it to a Capitalist nation amongst a continent full of Socialist and Communist countries. If there was a best time to travel to Argentina, it was now or never!
Blondie, Brunetty and I travelled the world and had many adventures, some listed in the “X Diaries” which are travel logs and history:
X Diaries
IPC Founder Index
South America, here we Come!
I missed the last 3 trips with Blondie and Brunetty to Hawaii, Spain and Central Europe. They had to go without me and they were not a bit happy about it! I was busy with IPC, work and life. It was now time to travel and they literally threatened my life, if I would not travel with them. They claimed travel is no fun without me! With the gun pointed at the back of my head, I was forced to travel, yet I convinced them that it is time to go to South America!
South America Cruise
In the past we went on many cruises, specifically with Princess which is a luxury Cruise-line with fabulous land excursions.
X Diaries: Russian and Scandinavian Cruise
If you want to take a cruise, then may as well go with the best. We jumped the plane from San Diego to New York (Delta) and then from New York, a straight line down to Santiago, Chile (LATAM). Delta sucks and LATAM sucks more! Delta used to be fine but since Biden Era DEI and Wokeness, joy of flight died!
Do you know at what point the “Liberal Poisonous Stew” of the “Woke Green New Bull Shiite” ruined the world?
* When sexy miniskirt wearing young and beautiful stewardesses changed to old, bald, gay guys branded as “Flight Attendants” to be politically correct and enforce equal opportunity work force in the skies, but that is when the joys of air travel died!
When Woke Green New Bull Shiite Ruined the World?
Now Qatar Airways and Emirates are the best and yes, they have stewardesses not flight attendants! The worst is United, where the pilots are hired due to the race (blacks and minorities) and gender (women and Trannies) rather than merit! When flying United, enjoy DEI, CRT and Wokeness during your free fall crash down into the ocean! Thanks to Trump, now the corporations are following the path of the government, eliminating DEI and Affirmative Action! Well, some still resist, like the NFL which turned Football, gay!
We landed in Santiago, Chile and the shuttle was ready for taking us from the airport to the seaport at San Antonio, Chile. The worst part of the travel is long hours on the planes and then long hours walking across huge airports (like Atlanta and Rio De Janeiro) and dealing with Customs and security! Customs and TSA is a nightmare when you enter USA at a hub airport (like Atlanta) to branch out flying to other airports (like San Diego).
Sapphire Princess Cruise Ship Main Lobby
Sapphire Princess
We got to the Seaport and jumped on the ship. Brunetty’s mind is blessed with digital memory. Right away, she stated that this ship (Sapphire Princess) is a much smaller one than the one in Russia (Regal Princess). I was doubtful at first, but she was correct. The reason is that in this cruise, the ship goes around South America’s Cape Horn through the Strait of Magellan, near Antarctica and glaciers, so a larger ship cannot maneuver well and will crash; therefore, they must use a smaller ship to maneuver!
Even though I love the luxury of the larger ships with better facilities, shows and food variety, yet Sapphire was fine because it is not a small ship but a midsize ship. Don’t get me wrong, for a midsize ship, Sapphire is huge. It had 18 decks loaded with a dozen of pools and Jacuzzis, sauna, spa, suntan decks, basketball court, racquetball court, outdoor chess, shuffleboard, Blues bar, Jazz bar, night clubs, Discotheque, live music stages, game rooms, hobby clubs, gym, show theatre, buffets, restaurants, grill, pizza parlor, ice cream parlor, dozens of bars, casino, shopping center, giant screens, outdoor movie theatre, and a prestigious main lounge hall with stage for live music band and much more. One would never run out of things to do on the ship! Still, Brunetty’s memory is better than mine. One look at the center lounge and outside decks, she said this ship is a smaller ship than the one in Russia! And I thought that I have a digital memory!
We made it to the ship in one piece and luckily the traditional safety and emergency lecture and routine muster drill at the muster stations were now cut short because now for the first time, we didn’t have to physically put our life jackets on and walk outside on a crowded deck and listen to the officers lecture. Now we watched a video on an app and confirmed that we watched it at the muster stations located on the ship, each designated to different groups. Thank God, because I hated that drill and often played hooky in the cabin to get out of it! In the past, Blondie purposely sent attendants to the cabin to drag me out and participate in the muster drill for security reasons! I hated that!
The trip planned had 2 parts. 2 Weeks on the cruise ship, jumping port to port and in each port going on land excursions by walk or buses in Chile, Argentina, Falkland Islands (UK) and Uruguay. The second part at the end of the 2 weeks was a 1-week plane flights and land excursions with tour busses, jeeps, trains, water shuttles and boats in Brazil.
Our cruise started from the middle of South America in South Pacific Ocean, going around the continent at Cape Horn from the Magellan Strait where Pacific Ocean meets Atlantic ocean, right next to the Antarctica getting into the Atlantic ocean, going up in Argentina, to Falklands (UK), then Uruguay, back to Buenos Aires, Argentina across the Rio de La Plata, taking a plane to Iguazu Falls (Argentina side), then going to other side (Brazil side) visiting the glory of Iguazu Falls (largest water system in the world) which is 1 of the 7 wonders of the modern world. Going with buses, jeeps, trains and boats all over Iguazu Falls, then plane ride to Rio De Janeiro for a couple of days of fun at the beach and sight-seeing. So part of the cruise was cold and the second part was hot and humid.
Seasons and Water Rotation are Opposite in Southern Hemisphere
Seasons are opposite in southern hemisphere and the water revolves and rotates in clockwise direction (like in toilets and sinks) in Southern Hemisphere which is opposite of the Northern Hemisphere where is counter clockwise. This is due to the Coriolis Effect by rotation of Earth. Make sure to go to South America and Australia in our Northern Hemisphere Winter to hit their Southern Hemisphere Summer.
The cruise officially begun. Unlike past travels which were political, business and pleasure, this one was solely pleasure. Off to the sea we go, the ship horn blasted loudly and announced our departure from San Antonio to the South Pacific Ocean. Yippie Yo, Yippie Yay, off we go, journey begins!
Chilean Cruise
We were jumping from port to another and in each port we were taking a land excursion. There were variety of Princess land excursions available to reserve in each port and we pre-selected the complete trip including the sea cruise, airlines, land excursions, hotels and everything else in San Diego. The complete trip was planned by Blondie, without her we would be lost!
In the past I tricked Blondie in to taking land excursions in to the jungles and deserts to see archeological, historical ruins and geological rock formations in various lands and like a lamb to slaughter, she followed me. Each time, she said never again but still next time, she followed me. This turn around, she pre-planned everything herself, making sure that in every land excursion, we would visit fun places she liked such as city sights, shopping centers, malls, souvenir centers, beaches, nature trips, animal sanctuaries, museums, churches, historical monuments and amusement parks. The last thing she needed was me dragging her to South American Rain Forests, to visit archeological and historical ruins or geological rock formations and to be bitten by giant mosquitos all over her body and get Yellow Feaver! This time around, I followed the girls. I knew better not to argue with women because it was a losing battle!
Caribbean Venture
X Diaries: Cayman Islands
Part Two
Our trip was one giant schedule to the detail by the hour, day and week planned by Blondie. Organization and Discipline to perfection and that is how I like it.
From San Antonio we stopped at Puerto Montt, Puerto Chacabuco, Amalia Glacier and then Punta Arenas. We went south bound in Chilean shores. In each stop, we planned an excursion to see Chilean sights, nature and cities.
Chile is a long country which looks like a long Chile Pepper. How long is it? Put Chile in Europe and Chile will be stretched from Norway to Morocco and from Scotland to Turkey. Put Chile in USA and it will be stretched from New York (East Coast) to California (West Coast)!
Looks like during the independence from Spain, Argentina said everything on east of Andes Mountain range belongs to us and everything on west of it belongs to Chile! So basically Chile got stuck with Mountain steep and little land to the Pacific ocean! Some may say Argentina got the good land and Chile got shafted!
Chile like every other country in South America is a socialist country (except Argentina). It is a poor country, nothing fancy but very clean, kept nice and pretty, nice people, cheap for Americans and stretched from middle of South America all the way to Antarctica.
Amalia Glacier
Amalia Glacier is an amazing sight. The closest you can get to Antarctic icebergs, glaciers and environment right in Chile! Gorgeous environment indeed. Have in mind that we hit this area in South American Summer (February – March) and still it was cold because in their winter (our summer) the Magellan Strait and vicinity would be impossible to travel, loaded with icebergs and ice. We literally went as close as possible to the glaciers.
The water in South Pacific Ocean is very choppy and rough (worse than Bermuda Triangle and Caribbeans). Once you cross from Pacific to Atlantic, it changes to settled soft water but right on the Magellan Strait where Pacific and Atlantic meet, it is chaos and rough. The complete ship rocks up and down and side to side. If you have weak stomach, you need to take pills not to vomit! It was so bad that walking was an acrobatic gesture! When I passed the crew and waitresses (which I become to know them all), I would pass dancing ballet, cracking jokes that I must maintain gymnastic and ballet poses and moves to remain in balance walking at Magellan Strait! They were cracking up to my jokes and agree but they were used to it. Last trip before us, it was so bad that they ordered the crew to remain in their cabins if not on duty. The 1st and 2nd decks were where the crew stayed.
Ship Demographics and Structure
The ship had 2700 guests and 1400 crew members waiting and serving them! About 1 crew member serving each 2 guests. This is how Princess spoils you! In my opinion nothing comes close to Princess, not even Celebrity cruises. Princess is owned by Carnival Cruise-line Corporation which owns 9 different cruise-lines and over 100 ships. Carnival is the low end but Princess is the high end of the ship types. Princess is the ultimate luxury liner.
This was a type of cruise which mostly rich white American old folks could afford; therefore, majority of the guests were geriatric and we were the spring chickens and young roosters of the guests! I mean I am old but compare to the average guests, I looked like a teenager! You want to see how wealthy people live? Princess is the cruise-line to go to!
Still there were a tiny number of middle aged and even teenagers on board!
Argentina My Love
At last I set foot in Argentina! Patagonia is the lower half of the country where barely anyone lives there. The soil is not for farming, sol ranchers, Gauchos (Cowboys) and Vaqueras (Cowgirls) do raise cattle, specifically sheep. Patagonia is basically deserted.
Half the Argentines have Italian ancestry, then Spanish, German and Welsh! This is why Argentines speak Spanish with Italian accent and so am I! Even though I try to speak Spain Spanish with Castellano accent (Proper Spanish), yet intentionally I have been getting Italian accent when speaking Spanish forever (Argentine Style)! After the WWII mass migration of Nazis and Fascists flown towards Argentina because Argentina during the WWII and even after, was on Axis side. Spanish naturally migrated to Argentina for hundreds of years and the Welsh had mass migration to Argentina. They have their own local language (like Irish and Scots) aside from English. That’s why you notice many Argentines with Italian and German last names, also deep Italian and German cultural roots, names of places and traditions in Argentina.
First stop at Patagonia was Ushuaia. The Ushuaia is the Earth’s closest city to Antarctica. It is the end of the world. The last city on earth before you hit Antarctica. The Pan American Highway which starts in Alaska, ends in Ushuaia and for example in San Diego becomes Highway 5 and in various cities along the way changes name. There is a train which takes you around Ushuaia and there is a post office which was operational and now a tourist attraction which is called “End of the World Post Office” where you can take pictures and stamp your passport. We went around town with a tour bus. Luckily it didn’t rain because usually it is freezing cold with showers! We were lucky.
We went on a mile walk to El Pedral, Penguinos De Magallanes Estasion which was a penguin sanctuary station. I went very close to one and he posed for me in amazing chique (chic) poses! They are not afraid of tourists and actually they are used to them! They love all the attention. They are like little people who love to show off! Penguins are so cute!
Falkland Islands
We landed on Falklands for a bus tour and walking excursion. It is hard to believe that so many soldiers fought and died from Argentina and UK for this piece of Rock! You should never judge a book by the cover. My concept of Falkland Islands was a piece of Rock but when I actually went there, I found that it is an interesting place!
My foot was messed up because of an uncomfortable leather slip-on sneakers worn in the plane for 24 hours and around excursions. I needed comfortable walking sneakers and I wanted to wait till Buenos Aires! Blondie is a wise woman and said come to the Falkland Islands and in Stanly, we look for shopping center. I said there is no way that I could find running shoes in the boonies of UK!
To my surprise, we found a nice store with many sneakers and I bought a Puma sneakers made for jogging and walking! Actually it was a nice port with old fashion buildings and sights. I am glad that I did not stay on the ship and went on the shore. We did not reserve the excursion for Falklands which was $600.00 and it was a good thing that we did not, because we went on the shore ourselves and we bought tickets of $10.00 each on a double decker bus for tour of the island! After the tour, we went back to the port and found a shopping center to buy shoes and chocolate! $10.00 vs. $600.00, what a deal!
On Falklands, I also saw penguins right at the beach. They were posing for me! There was this big one who came stood right next to me! He was so big that I wondered if he is a friendly Argentine penguin or a Hezbo from Qom in the penguin suit wanting to assassinate me!
Back to Argentina
Next we went to Puerto Madryn, and after a few excursions on to Uruguay we went.
Uruguay
We anchored at Montevideo. Unlike many ports which the ship had to anchor away from the shores and we had to take a water shuttle to the shores, now we were getting to huge ports where the ship could anchor right at the boardwalk and deck, so we could just walk right off the ship to the port. We took a tour bus of Montevideo. It is a nice city in a little nice country with a powerful football team at world championship level. Brazil with 5 world cup wins, Argentina with 3 world cup wins and Uruguay with 2 world cup wins are always competing against each other in Copa America and World Cup.
We went to downtown and had traditional dinner at a restaurant.
Mate
In Montevideo, for the first time, the tour guide introduced us to Mate! Now what the hell is the Mate? Mate is pronounced “Mah-Tay” and it is a hot drink such as tea which it is drank from a specific cup, outside made of leather and inside made of porcelain. You get the crushed herb (same as tea), pour it in the cup and then carry a large thermos full of hot water to add to it. You use a long special metal spoon which is also a straw with two holes, one on each end to stir it and drink the Mate with it. Mate is a bush which they get the Mate from.
In Central east coast of South America where Uruguay, South East of Brazil and North East of Argentina located, it is an addiction to drink this drink all year round! Buenos Aires, Montevideo, Sao Paulo and Rio de Janeiro guzzles this drink down like water! They love this drink; they carry the thermos and the special cup with them. They drink it and then hand it to others to have a sip and pass it around (not really hygienic, I wonder what had they done during COVID). It is a traditional custom. They love this drink even in the summer! Why is that? I tell you why:
Caffeine percentage Sodas
_____________________
Diet Sunkist 12 oz can 19 MG
Diet Coke 12 oz can 46 MG
Diet Mountain Dew 12 oz can 54 MG
Caffeine Percentage Hot Drinks
__________________________
Green Tea Cup 25 MG
Black Tea Cup 50 MG
Coffee Cup 120 MG
Mate Cup 180 MG
Mate is a shot injection of caffeine! These guys are high on Mate! Personlly I don’t drink alcohol, do drugs, smoke nicotine but sometimes drink soda and tea. When I drink soda or tea, I want them loaded with caffeine. Soda or tea without caffeine serves no purpose and is basically gay! Why bother? You want a caffeine load when you drink them!
Soda and tea without caffeine is like Decorative Toy Dogs with no purpose! You need a killer dog as a security who can bite a chunk out of your butt and wrestles with you, like Doberman or German Shepherd! Soda or Tea without caffeine is for Soy Boys and Liberal Butt Boys! I don’t like decorative things; everything must have a purpose and Mate has a purpose!
Imagine these guys are on Mate 24/7 days a week and 365 days a year! These guys are living a high life and without it, they collapse! They are always shocked with upper jolts! Maybe that’s why they have great soccer teams!
What does it taste like? Similar to Mint Green Tea but far from Moroccan Mint Green Tea which I like. Actually I am not that crazy about the taste of Mate. It also comes cold in the tall cans.
Buenos Aires Here We Come
At last at the city of Beautiful Air and good winds. We went across the “Rio de La Plata” (River of Silver) from Montevideo to Buenos Aires. Other cities in Argentina are cheap or fair to live in but Buenos Aires is inflation stricken and very expensive to live. It is a huge city and jewel of South America.
River Plate and Boca Juniors
You do not understand what soccer means to South America until you walk in Buenos Aires! Soccer is a religion, a way of life to live by. There are 30 teams in Argentina Premier League with Buenos Aires having many teams but the town is basically divided to 2 sections, “Boca Juniors” on one side and “River Plate” on the other. These two are two powerhouses of South America. When they meet in Argentine Primera Division (Argentine Premier League) or Libertadores League (South American Championship League), riots occur, people beat each other up, people kill each other, when their team lose, due to depression, they commit suicide and places get burned!
“Barra Brava” (Argentine Football Hooligans) give a new definition to the word hooligan! Let me put it in metaphoric terms which if you are into soccer, would understand. Imagine the rivalry between Esteghlal vs. Persepolis (Iran), Manchester City vs. Manchester United (England) and Barcelona vs. Real Madrid (Spain) and now make it 10 times bigger than all of the 3 combine and you will get River Plate vs. Boca Juniors rivalry.
When it comes to these two, the rest of the league are like elementary school JV teams, even “Independiente” which is often the 3rd team in the league is like amateurs! The city is basically divided to two sections and two tribes. You are either a Boca Juniors fanatic or a River Plate fanatic. The famous historical players in each team are treated like saints. You cross your turf and there will be hell to be paid!
We visited the Boca Juniors stadium. Personally I am a River plate fan.
In South America, people take football seriously. In Buenos Aires, Brunetty bought an Argentia National Team “Messi” #10 Jersey as a souvenir. Once in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, I told her wear your Messi Jersey at Copacabana Beach and see what happens! That would be the end of Brunetty!
Lately the Brazilian National Team haven’t done nothing in the Copa America or World Cup, so Argentines make fun of them, for instance one of our tour guide girls on the bus was talking history, culture and sights and when it came to Brazil, she said, Brazil is a nice country, even though they have a weak football team! At the time, Argentina is very strong and a solid chance of winning the 2026 world cup in USA but Brazil is very shaky again. Even though Brazil had a great comeback during the latest games played in the South American qualifications with wins and draws, yet it hit a brick wall once met Argentia and disgracefully lost 4 to 1 and demolished by “La Albiceleste” (The White and Sky Blue) which is the nickname for Argentina National Team.
Buenos Aires Days
Buenos Aires is city of culture. I specifically visited the “General Jose de San Martin’s Memorial Mausoleum” with statue top and guards protection where guards change is an event to watch at the Church. Town sight-seeing was awesome, shopping at the mall was interesting. Always get your souvenirs from the small shops outside the mall and in the shopping center because the shops inside the mall are very expensive. The same item can cost double in the mall. For instance Brunetty bought a large penguin stuffed animal and a Messi Jersey at a small shop for a fraction of the price of the mall shops!
Avenida 9 de Julio (July 9th Avenue)
This is the widest avenue on earth. Smacked right in the middle of Buenos Aires, 1.9 miles long at the west of the Rio de La Plata stands majestic with Metro Bus line in the middle of it and 4 sets of lanes, 2 on each direction sides of it, all separated by dividers. At its widest point, it has 16 lanes. That is as many lanes as the largest freeway in USA has in San Diego! Many inspiration points are located at this avenue. The symbol of Argentina, the monument “Obelisco de Buenos Aires” which resembles the “Washington Monument” in DC but taller, stands tall (235 Feet) as a pyramid in this avenue. It is a symbol of Argentine independence.
Avenida 9 de Julio, Buenos Aires, Argentina
Obelisco de Buenos Aires Circle at the Avenida 9 de Julio, Argentina
Widest Avenue in the world, a tribute to Argentina’s Independence with various monuments located along the way on it.
Persian Column in Buenos Aires!
When travelling and riding through Avenida 9 de Julio, suddenly I noticed a very tall “Persian Column” with double bull top resembling the Persepolis columns! First I thought, I am delusional but then I looked again and it was in the middle of the avenue on the divider area a bit farther from the Iranian embassy! How can it be?
I researched and I found out that on 1971, due to the 2500 Years Celebration of the Persian Empire in Iran, Shah donated a replica of a Persepolis column to Argentina to put on this avenue as one of the great monuments located there, so the world will enjoy a taste of Persia on the widest avenue on earth!
Can you believe it? This is how Shah of Iran spread the Persian culture and now IRI had destroyed the Persian prestige by spreading Islamic Terrorism! What a plain shame!
2500 Years Celebrations of The Persian Empire
Persian Column with Double Bull Top replica donated by the Shah of Iran on 1971 and installed on the divider in the middle of the Avenida 9 de Julio, the widest avenue in the world, near the Iranian Embassy. This is how the wise Alahazrat spread the Persian culture!
Tango Porteno: Buenos Aires Nights
Buenos Aires days are full of fun and joy but the real extravaganza comes at night. We booked an excursion which as a part of it, we went to the world famous “Tango Porteno.”
The best way that I can describe this place is “Moulin Rouge Cabaret” Paris, France. “Tango Porteno” is the same level of entertainment, food and class. Remember “Cabaret Bacara Tehran” before 1979 in Imperial Iran? Make it 10 times larger and better with a magnificent show and dinner and you will get Tango Porteno!
Tango Porteno was an old movie theatre converted to a Cabaret Theatre. Large Dinner Salon, beautiful stage, great acoustics, and gourmet dinner, this place is a replica of a 1940s cabaret which you see in old movies like Casablanca. For Hors d'oeuvre they serve Empanadas of different types. Argentina is famous for Asado (Grill) and the steak and gourmet potatoes which they serve here is finger licking good. Dessert is out of this world.
Tango Porteno show consists of world class musicians, singers, dancers and acrobats performing Tango. The Argentine Folk Dance with drums, whips and acrobatics is a thrill. The theatric pieces put together, create a full musical play of Broadway style, telling a story. The stage show, props and theatrics are superb.
Because our ship was not a large ship, the shows were not hot like the one in Russia; however, Tango Porteno made up for all the mediocre shows at the ship! It was a super show! A world class cabaret show.
Tango Porteño, Live from the Heart of Buenos Aires
Tango Porteño en Buenos Aires
Tango Porteño in Buenos Aires - a must-see-Show
Tango Porteno English Site
Tango Porteno Spanish Site
Tango Porteno Facebook
Tango Porteno Cabaret Front Gate Sign, Buenos Aires, Argentina
World Famous, World Class Tango Show Cabaret
Ladies from California
When we were sitting in Tango Porteno, 4 ladies from California came and sat next to us. I was speaking Spanish to the waiters and one of them could not help herself so to finally break the ice and speak to us! She started speaking Pigeon Spanish (Broken Spanish) with the waiters too and then to me! Once she broke the ice, then all of them started talking to us and find the details of our lives! It was obvious that we were the “Cool Gang” and the “It Group” in the excursions, and these guys wanted to join us, so they could hang with us during the excursions and on the ship. These guys were one of the groups who were zoomed on us and were waiting to find the right moment, speaking to us, introduce themselves and join our group! This was their chance.
They introduced themselves as Academics from California. They were friends and family from Orange County, San Jose and Los Angeles. They were high school administrators and teachers. They found out that Blondie is the highest level of her field, a Fellow in Aerospace Engineering and a mathematical genius in Structural Engineering who has the final word for a Jet or a Plane to go in production and fly. Blondie is the Big Boss and Guru to her employees. Brunetty is the Computer Expert, a dangerous hacker and I, an international troublemaker! From that moment, they hooked on us and mostly become Blondie fans and friends. They become Blondie’s sidekicks! Every moment they found, they stuck to us and joined us during dinning at excursions and on the ship gourmet restaurants. They dressed up and sat with us. Suddenly we were 7 and expanded our gang!
Once in Argentina, during an excursion in a huge buffet, I believe in Puerto Madryn, the waiters were busy and neglected us, served us late. This made Blondie pissed and she almost started a riot in Argentina! The 4 ladies were Feminists aching to follow her lead and start something abroad! This reminded me of Blondie entanglement with the Moroccan secret police in Africa!
Planes, Trains, Buses and Ferries
X Diaries: North Africa Adventure
Chapter Two
The ladies led by Blondie almost started a riot in Argentina but suddenly the Head Waiter came over, apologized and got 2 waiters to bring everything missing and all the drinks and big buckets of ice to our table.
Scarce Ice!
Same as Europe, in South America, people don’t eat and drink ice! Ice is not good for sinuses and when I don’t drink with ice, my sinuses don’t act up. I try not to use ice and quit using it but usually I am addicted to Ice. In USA and at home, I eat ice by the bucket full and mug full. Around the world, ice is scarce! Everywhere I go, I try to get lots of ice. In the ship, I made our room attendant who cleaned our room and refreshed our towels and goods 2 times a day (in between our excursions and dinning when we were not inside) to bring over a bucket of ice and place it in our small refrigerator, so I always had a bucket full on hand. I supplied the water bottles and Diet Coke. Every time I came back to our suite, I brought 4 bottles of water or Diet Coke from the bar, we enjoyed sitting in the balcony, facing the ocean while drinking refreshments. Gazing at the sunset or sunrise in the suite balcony facing the ocean or on a ship deck is so relaxing and peaceful.
Once on the Land Excursion (Land Cruise) in Brazil, I made the hotel attendants to supply the ice by Big Buckets! Same as Europe, the hotels in South America do not have ice machines on each floor! I am so used to American hotels which have ice machines on one floor!
Large Countries and Cities
Have in mind that these are large populated cities and countries. Brazil is the 5th largest nation in the world and Argentina is the 8th largest nation in the world. Rio de Janeiro has almost 14 Million population and Buenos Aires has almost 15.7 Million population.
Girl, Girls, Girls!
So many girls and only 2 weeks on the ship to meet them! There were some young women on the ship who were very willful but same as I travelling with 2 girls, they also traveled with other girls or possibly men! There are barely single people on their own travelling on a cruise of this magnitude. Just for fun, one night I went to the singles club meeting at the Blues Bar to see all the lovely young single girls and guess who did I see?
The place was packed with geriatric folks in their 70s, 80s and 90s with wheel chair, walkers and most likely adult diapers! At my age, I have a hell of time travelling and it takes a lot out of me! I don’t know how these people manage to travel in their conditions? Things were so hectic that I almost dropped at the LGBTQ Club gathering at the Jazz Bar! Then it all clicked! Hell, even if I hook up with a young lady, the odds of her having a single room by herself is almost null. I also have 2 girls in my room, so it is a waste of time. By the time we talk, hook up and get together, the cruise is over! Isn’t it a better to hook up with the help rather than the guests?
Help are plenty, some beautiful young waitresses, bar-maids, giftshop workers and attendants are around. They are very talkative, lively, willful and passionate! So let’s focus on young beautiful help rather than the guests, so we can get lucky!
I done the Ahreemanic scope and observation like a hawk monitoring the prey! I marked 4 girls in their 20s which they looked great in their distinguished uniforms according to their jobs. I preferred teenagers (18 and over) but hey, with a miniskirt, bobby socks, pigtails and props, they would look just like teenagers! So Ahreeman went in the gear! I started the dialogue and spread the net to catch the fish, yet I found out that they were fisherwomen experts trying to hook me! They were all in their 20s, juicy and lively.
Filipina Girl
She was grown in all the right places. Petite and good looking, kind of tall for an oriental girl and very flirty. I had Filipina girlfriend before and they are very sexual, submissive and love to pleasure you! She didn’t need to work and she was working at the ship as a bar waitress to travel the world for free. They weren’t making great money and with 2 breaks, they were working around the clock but depending on their work history, they would get 2 to 3 months of vacation a year. The company would pay for airfare and hotels from the moment of take-off from the ship and return to the ship. They would work in different ships and during the excursions, in each port, they would throw their names in the pot to be selected to go to the shore. The job was not high pay but they got to see the world for free and have some nice benefits. The Filipina girl was very lively, flirty and talkative. Right away we become friends and I found out about her schedule. When I went to the main lounge with the live band, she was mostly working the bar and waiting on me. She was always smiling and was touchy feely.
Thai Girl
This girl was a good innocent girl, the only child of her family and she was working at the ship for many years. She was doing this job to see the world for free. She lived with her parents in Thailand and was very spoiled. She was a type of innocent girl with a good heart and warm nature. A type of a good girl that a predator would love to hunt and corrupt doing the nasty with her, all night long! She was the closest to me. Right away we hooked up and chatted for long periods of time. She was serving me at the lounge near the main center lounge and stage of the ship, also at the buffet. She was getting me my fancy non-alcoholic drinks, ice coffees and diet cokes with tall glasses of ice from the bar. She knew that I do not drink, smoke and drug, so she was offering a variety of cool drinks which she could come up with. We bought the plus plans which we had about $800.00 and $500.00 limit for drinks and special desserts to spend. Brunetty was the most wasteful because she only had 3 drinks and 2 specialty desserts out of her $500.00 limit! What a waste! This Thai girl was very nice and right away we were at the hugging point at every time we saw each other.
Ukrainian Girl
This girl was a little mousy quiet type with wild laughter and wide smile. I met her at the ship’s sports store which I ended up buying a Princess hoodie and a vest to gear up for Antarctic weather. Silly me, I forgot to bring warm clothes going to Antarctica! Blondie bought me a ski hat on one excursion and I bought ski clothes in the other. For some stupid reason, I forgot very important things to pack, such as dress shirts for formal nights, ski hat, and things like that but I brought nail clipper which came handy for Blondie! We always forget some stuff but in my case, I brought the suit and dress shoes without dress shirts! Ukrainian girl was the shop attendant which gave me discount and followed me around the store with her anxious willful eyes! At the first encounter, it didn’t go anywhere but suddenly at one excursion having Argentine Asado (Grill) at a rural restaurant, she came and sat next to us because she was having an excursion day off at Puerto Madryn! Then I started my charm, talkative nature, cracking jokes and after 20 minutes she was rolling on the floor laughing with my stories and jokes. I was sitting next to her or shall we say she was sitting next to me. Blondie and Brunetty were sitting together talking with Norwegian Viking couple trading travel stories while I was analyzing the Ukrainian grounds! She totally cracked up when I was telling a story to everyone and stated that she loves Russia! After the dinner, she was on the hook and fallen under my spell!
Uruguayan Girl
For some reason she was not clinging right! She was OK and desirable but afraid or wondering to hook up because Blondie and Brunetty were often dropping by and being around me! She was nice, short and a bit beefy with nice face but lacking in flirtation and definitely not lively. She wanted to be friendly but didn’t know how! She wanted to be in my inner crowd of helpers like the Thai and Filipina girls but she was shy and distant. On one hand she wanted to be in but on the other hand she was cold. I was nice to her but I did not have time to waste on a girl confused about what she wants! Only 2 weeks of the cruise before the land excursion of one week in Brazil and no time to waste. Too many girls and so little time to fish!
Finally I hooked up with the wild Filipina girl and the shy innocent Thai girl and skipped the Ukrainian mousy girl and the cold Uruguayan girl.
We hooked up in the wildest places in the ship. Skywalker Sky Disco on deck 17 was jammed at night but abandoned during the day. I used it to read and practice my Spanish book at a dark lonely corner. This was also one of my quiet isolated places during the day to hook up with the Filipina girl. She had a roommate but she managed to take me to the storage area at the private suntan deck on front of the ship. That was her quiet corner to focus on human anatomy!
With the Thai girl, it was a dark and abandoned corner during the day at the back of the Jazz Bar and also on deck 18 on top of the ship behind the basketball court and also near the shuffleboard area’s storage where no one would hang around. These were our special places to meet because she also had a roommate!
At least I managed to meet a couple lovely young girls for a quick fun time during the cruise! We had special trackers on our Princess app to find our shipmates via mobile to see where they are on the ship. Blondie and Brunetty were wondering how come from time to time, my app malfunctioned and they could not locate me where in fact I was shutting it off!
Yup, I still got it, even in my old ages!
Cuisine
Every day at the ship buffet, there was a different country’s cuisine theme with at least 50 different dishes and 50 different desserts from that country on the tables. You also had the choice to go to the gourmet restaurants available at 6 different places. If you couldn’t find something to eat, then you had the option of Grill (Burgers, Hot Dogs, Chicken, Fries) on one corner and Pizza Parlor on the other corner of the deck 14. With all the variety, you just had to find something to eat, but believe it or not, by the end of the cruise, I was sick of all the food! Blondie is an Aerospace Engineer by trade but a world class chef at home. She spoiled me with her cooking! I ached some home cooking!
Cuisine in Argentina and Brazil is basically beef, steak and meat. They raise cattle and sheep. They serve Asado (Grill). Argentines serve Steak and grilled meats, sausage and lamb. Brazilians serve kabobs and grilled meats on skewers. They keep on bringing vertically held skewers of grilled meats and kabobs to the table such as Fillet Minion, Steaks, chicken drum sticks, sausage, lamb chops, pork chops and so on until you burst! They are meat eating countries.
The best Argentine cuisine we had was in Tango Porteno and the best Brazilian Grill we had was on the ship, the Brazilian Grill Restaurant, also the Brazilian Grill Restaurants of Churrascaria Palace in Copacabana Beach and Churrascaria Carretão at Ipanema Beach in Rio.
Old Crazy Crippled American Liberal
One day we were sitting in the buffet area of the ship chatting and eating. The girls were eating French hors d'oeuvres while I brought tall ice glasses of lemonades from the outside bar and double scoops of raspberry and cherry ice creams in glasses from the parlor. This old crazy crippled man with walker crippled around and out in random found our group interesting, so-called young and exciting in discussion. He stopped and started a conversation with absolute strangers (us) in random!
Old Fart: Do you need help? I can help you eating that stuff (referring to Brunetty’s special ice cream gourmet dessert in tall glass)
We laughed.
OF: Where are you from?
X: San Diego
OF: Originally?
X: Iran
OF: I have 2 friends from Iran and …
X: And they are both named Reza …
OF: How?!
X: You asked me before and you told me before!
OF: I don’t care …
X: I been in San Diego …
He went rambling on, sitting on the next table ….
Next thing you know he included himself in our conversation, eavesdropping!
OF: I just love listening to you guys …
Eventually Blondie and Brunetty went their own ways to the shops and spa and left me alone!
Next thing you know, the old man moved on to my table and started the conversation.
OF: Well you know I was working for the government and then as a private attorney, now I am wealthy and retired going around the world …
Eventually it got into politics and he started talking some liberal Shiite! He talked some historical fallacy to a historian like me and he even went as far as saying that we didn’t build the Panama Canal! Me not wanting to drag this on, cut him off by saying,
X: Listen fellow, this conversation is going nowhere. I am a historian, not some yahoo Redneck from other side of Apalachees! You are a liberal …
OF: no I’m not …
X: Yes you are a closet liberal and I am a patriot, I love and worship America.
OF: But what about Greenland?
X: We should take it for national security …
OF: Now I know you are out there ….
X: I have things to do, places to go, people to see, adios ….
My luck! When people are sitting around the table, a juicy sexy blonde in miniskirt comes, sits next to them and starts a conversation! My luck, a cripples crazy old liberal finds me and sits next to me, starting political conversation trying to deny historical facts and handing me Anti Trump and Anti MAGA rhetoric!
We have an idiom in Persian which goes like this:
“Agar do ta kir az asemun bebareh, yekish mireh tu kune ma,
unyeki ham vay misteh tu saf ke ba’d az in bereh tu!”
(If 2 Dicks fallen from the sky, the 1st one goes up our ass,
The 2nd one stands by in line to go in next!)
I mean what are the odds of an Old Fart Liberal American Yahoo finding me in Argentina and trying to start a political dialogue with me to convert me?!
Later on I told Brunetty about the story and told her that when I get old, if I go around abroad, starting a conversation and including myself in total strangers’ conversations, I give you the permission to shoot me! She said: You are already old! Brunetty is a smart ass!
We also have a Persian idiom for this situation:
“Do kaleme ham az Madar-e Arus!”
(Also a few words from the Mother-in-Law!)
Don’t you just lovese lovese love the Persian idioms and expressions?!
South American Crooks and Pickpockets
Crooked Cabbies and pickpockets, watch out for them. These countries are full of crooks! On our way to El Centro shopping in Buenos Aires, we took a cab which one guy peddling, reserved for us. He made the Cabbie to charge us $10 for 3 to the El Centro. Avoid these bums and middle men to book you cabs and directly stop the cab because on our way back, we stopped a cab ourselves and he charged us for the same trip according to his counter, only $3.50, so Blondie tipped him and gave him $6.00. Dollar still means gold around the world!
Javier Milei and Peronistas
I chatted with the cabbies during the trip in Spanish both for practicing my Spanish and for gaining information from the people of the street! I asked them about economy, prices, politics and of course Milei! Even though Milei revolutionized Argentina’s economy, cut down the waste, fraud and mismanagement in the government and revived the economy (kind of like Trump in USA), yet after a long period of Socialism (by the Peronistas), it takes time for the economy to bloom again, inflation to go down and the street people to become happy. Some people don’t have the patience! Same as America with Trump, in Argentina, Javier Milei is pointing at the Moon (Future), yet many fail and only see the tip of his finger! Knowing this, it was interesting for me to hear from the cabbies. One Cabbie was skeptic and said all of the politicians are the same, they are no good crooks! Another one said that Milei is no good and the Peronistas were good for the working man. The third one said that both the Peronistas and Milei are Tortugas (Turtles), their strings are pulled from the above! Tortugas, what a term, I cracked up! Even though the cabbies had not much faith in Milei, yet I do!
In Argentina, mostly people are either pro Peronistas (Juan Peron, Evita Peron, Isabela Peron, Cristina Fernández de Kirchner, etc.) which are Socialists or they are pro National Populists (Javier Milei, etc.). During the Pre Peron Era and during the Peron Era both, Argentina was either with Axis or Pro Axis. So this proves that Nazis, Fascists, Socialists and Communists are all considered “Leftists.” National Populists and Nationalists are the true Rightists!
Basically except a few exceptions such as Javiar Milei (Argentina) and Nayeb Bukele (El Salvador) whom both made Argentina and El Salvador ideal prospect places to live in (Security and Economy), the rest of Central and South America are Socialist or Communist countries!
Also you need to watch out for pickpockets. In Chile, right at the Seaport, near the church, a local was cleaning a lady’s dress supposedly from the bird poop, telling her watch out for the bird poop, as soon as she was distracted, he grabbed her purse with passport, money, IDs and credit cards and ran away! You should always put on your purse diagonally across your shoulder or wear belt bags. Avoid wearing your wallet in your back pocket or flashing your mobile in public, holding it high to take pictures. Tourists are the perfect prey for the South American predators! Don’t become the prey!
Antarctic Circle
Back in Arctics we were not really that close to the Arctic Circle. The closest we got was the Southern Norway but over here, we were right smacked near the Antarctic Circle! We were so near the Antarctic Peninsula of Antarctica that we could smell the sea salt of the ice waters. The sea salt in the air near the shores and beaches is good for you. Those who walk or jog at the beaches, add a few years to their lives. I went to the balcony and took a few deep inhaling and exhaling, raising my arms and toes up during the inhale and down during the exhale. I always do that at the beaches but the air is 10 times fresher at Antarctica, so I did not want to miss out filling up my lungs full of life at the Antarctica adding a few years to my life!
The closest you get to the North and South Poles; days get longer in summers and nights get longer in winters to the point that places inside or near Arctic or Antarctic Circles such as parts of Alaska or Antarctica have 6 months of daylight and 6 months of night!
It was 10:30 pm at night in Patagonia and the sun was still out in the summer of South America near Antarctica! We experienced the same situation in Arctics at Scandinavia.
The Thai girl told me that Princess has a cruise which actually anchors right next to Antarctica and the guests go for excursions. When the ship anchors in Antarctica, the scientists who have not had a decent shower or a meal for 6 months, come aboard, take a nice hot shower and have a nice meal in the buffet while at the same time, a select crew gets to go for excursions on Antarctica. Picture the poor scientists can’t take a decent shower down there when the water freezes, sponge bath is the best next option, and they end up having frozen meals or astronaut bag meals! Maybe once a while they get some meat out of the freezer and making an actual meal. When the ship comes, it is heaven for them! Thai girl also been at Antarctica! Most likely during the 8 years of working for Princess, she had been in more countries than I and surely 1 continent more than I which is Antarctica. 8 years of working for Princess, gives her the seniority to always be one of the first selected to go to the shore on excursions. That is why she was having that job!
Next Page
Part 1
Part 2
Back to Founder Index |
