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Bathroom Laws and Regulations

Ayatollah Khomeini on Islam
Part Two
Religious Teachings of:
Bathroom Laws and Regulations
Ahreeman X
Republished: December 5, 2007

L. No Shiite sign!
R. Ayatollah Khomeini: Thank you Allah for making me the Shah!

"Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini was the founder and the first Supreme Clerical and Social Leader of the Islamic Republic of Iran."

A selection from "Resaleh" (Towzih ol Masael) Book of Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini:

Have in mind that these are the true words of The Leader and Founder of The Islamic Republic of Iran, the first Supreme Cleric and Social Leader of IRI. Ayatollah Khomeini is also one of the Greatest Imams (Saints) of the Shiite Islam in the Whole Wide World.

In the past, I wrote a few parts series about writings of Ayatollah Khomeini in his famous book "Resaleh" and his views on sex, specifically sex with a nine year old child and how to pay and how much to pay or not to pay for damaging the child's vagina, or marry and not to marry her as a Siqeh, in a temporary wedding.

Islamically Correct Toilet Training

Now I shall mention a few of Ayatollah's famous hints on the chapter related to "How to Behave in the Bathroom, Islamic Way"!

Many of you already know about this famous chapter of Khomeini's book, the ones who had never read the book, please go and buy it, even if you have to read it as humor only to laugh!

Ayatollah begins talking about how to enter the bathroom, with what foot first and what foot second, and then how to sit on the toilet, with what foot first and what foot second to be Islamically proper!

Islamically Correct Bathroom Geography!

Then he goes on through paragraphs about in what position to sit on the toilet, one must sit on the toilet not facing the Holy Kabbah in Mecca, also not to show his Moameleh (tools) towards the Mecca in Saudi Arabia, cause showing your Haji Kuchike or schlong towards Mecca is Haraam (Religiously Forbidden), however if sitting down towards Mecca and showing your Shambool towards it while doing number two or one, yet covering it with your hands while doing your business, is Macrooh (Religiously not recommended, yet fine). It is also not OK to turn your back to Mecca while taking a dump! It is not polite to show your Anus to House of Allah! So technically one should first find out in what direction is Mecca, it all depends that where are you located (in the world) while taking the dump!

For instance, If you are in San Diego, you need to know not to face the South East nor back to the South East while Shiiting all over the bathroom! Other wise it might be Macrooh even Haraam (Religiously forbidden)! So if you want to take a Halaal (Religiously OK) dump, you need to study and know your Geography of the bathroom, which you are about to take the dump in! Now all this is fine, but what if you are vacationing or in a Foreign land, or city?! You need to somehow know the Geography of the Toilet!

I guess Ayatollah means that all people should carry a compass or Thomas Guide Map Book, before entering a strange bathroom! Do not worry about the toilet paper, or soap or water, yet make sure that you got your compass and map when visiting a strange toilet!

Islamically Correct Butt Wash!

Then The Great Saint of Islam, the holy Imam Khomeini, continues about the way to wash the Ass, Islamic way!

He expands that when taking the dump and ready to wash your Ass, either with the Aftabeh (Islamic Toilet Pitcher) full of water, or a Water Hose connected to the wall (modern Ass Wash), one must first make sure that he caresses his hand movements from the back of the butt between the butt Cheeks, towards the front until he hits the balls (Roundels)! Cause if he does this gentle movement vise versa (front to back), then he might not properly clean himself and take pieces of Doodoo to the back area of the buns! And the wrong method might not truly clean the between cheeks area; therefore, if he does prayer (Salath) later, the prayer will not be true, and it might become false (Batel)!

Islamically Correct Butt Fingering!

Also when holding the toilet pitcher with one hand and washing your Hiney with the other one, you need to make sure that first you must use "The Middle Finger" and for sure recommended to stick 2/3 of your middle finger (Do Sols) in your butt hole, three or so times and then caress your between butt cheeks forward towards your balls, three times!

2/3 of the middle finger, then with full hand rubbing towards the front area between your butt is religiously crucial! If not, your cleaning, Qosl (Islamic shower), or Vozu (Wash before prayer) or Taharat (Islamic Butt Wipe) will not be done properly; therefore, your prayer might end up being False (Batel), so you shall read it again!

So on each Taharat you must stick 2/3 of your middle finger 3 times in your butt hole and then rub it 3 times from the hole all the way to your balls! Oh, and women should do it backwards, from the hole to the back of the butt, because if they bring it on forwards, they may get Doodoo in their Poonani!

Yup, men should butt wash in the direction of back-forth and women must butt wash in the direction of forth-back! Are you guys taking notes or what? I am trying to enlighten yous? Welcome to Shiite Islam! Are you getting all of this or do you want me to draw diagrams?

I imagine there are also Shiite Diagrams available for all good Shiites on how to take a Shiite! You see, Shiite Muslim are in need of Marja' Taqlid and Velayat-e Faqih (Supreme Religious Leadership) to follow his every move or else they will be lost!

OK this is all fine and dandy, but now imagine a few things:

By the time a good Muslim in a foreign Land studies the Geography of the Bathroom and the angle of the toilet in relation to Mecca, his number two or number one might go up and he might not even have to nor can go any more! Or worst, he might dirty his pants and underwear!

Then there is the issue with the 2/3 of the middle finger! Imagine sticking that much finger in your butt holio, everytime you go to the bathroom! Boy, one can become Gay by sticking them fingers up and down his rectum! He might actually like it, you know, men have their prostate there and it is gentle, why do you think Gays enjoy doing it that way so much!? Hey no wonder all the holy Tolab students, Hojatol Eslams, and Ayatollahs are all in to homosexual Activities, it is all according to The Book! Islam actually turns you gay, but then they hang you for being gay! All the holy Muslim clerics are gay, but then they release Fatwa against the gays! What hypocrites! On the other hand, transsexuality is allowed and recommended (according to Ayatollah Khomeini)! Today's Iran is transsexual heaven and the center for the cheapest transsexual operations in the globe! Isn't Islam great? This religion is one large Islamic Bangarooni for the Kunis!

Imam Khamenei himself was the Boy Toy of Imam Khomeini! In the old days, the duo posters of Shah and Farah were all over Iranian cities' walls. Today there are the duo posters of Khomeini and Khamenei all over the Iranian cities' walls!

So today's "Shah and Farah" are "Khomeini and Khamenei", well except that these Shah and Farah are Gays! Allah is merciful!

See people, I bet with you, if the Great Saint and Martyr of Islam, The Great Shiatsu, Oops I mean The Great Shiite, Ayatollah Khomeini would have only talked half of what he had mentioned about Sex with Under Aged Girls and Children, How to Repair Children's Damaged and not fully grown Vaginas, how sodomizing little girls in the butt is Halaal but boning small vagina is not, how to enter, sit, dump, and clean your Ass in the Bathroom, and on and on....... Now only if he would talk as half of all this about Bull Shiite, yet only about The Economy, Society, Politics, Philosophy, etc. Maybe Iran, other Shiite Nations, and other Islamic Nations in Middle East and North Africa would have not been so Screwed Up and Backward!

Only if the Great Saint Imam Khomeini would have talked a few chapters about Economical problems, instead of little girls' poontangs and Guys' Corn Holes and 2/3 finger issues, maybe Iran's Economy and Social Status would have been semi sufficient!

But then what do you expect from a group of Religious Mullahs of Uneducated and Horny Toads?! Did you possibly expect them to write about Actual Social Issues?

Just a thought, imagine A Founder of a new political or Social Ideology like Marx, Engels, Mussolini, Hitler, Adam Smith, Thomas Jefferson, or others would have talked about the same issues that Khomeini talked about in their books! Imagine if Marx would have talked about how to wash Ass in German Society, the Proletariat Way! I'm telling ya, Marx was so naïve and primitive not releasing a few chapters on how to wash ass or bang butts in Das Kapital! How about Hitler? Imagine if Hitler would have talked about how to butt wipe, National Socialistic way! Wouldn't then Mine Kampf be more colorful?!

Yes, my friends, these are the reasons that Europe is Europe, America is America, Japan is Japan, and United States will soon Land Human on Mars ...... and then Iran is where it is today!

US is seeking salvation in "Space Exploration" for human's future ecological space and resources to live and survive, and then Iran is seeking salvation in "Rectum and 2/3 fingering of the holes" or "Banging 9 year old girls' vaginas, the correct and Islamic way" and in accordance to the jokes of the books such as Quran, Nahjol Bilaqah, Resaleh, and etc.

For more beautiful tales of Imam Khomeini on Bathroom Behaviors, Laws and Regulations, also toilet training the Shiite, please go to the IPC Persian Library and read the complete Resaleh:

"Resaleh" (Towzih ol Masael) by Imam Khomeini

More books by Imam Khomeini:

IPC Persian Library

Yes, my friends this is why the civilized world is going to the Mars and Iran is going to the Rectum! US is discovering the universe, expanding robotics, completing computer science, and Iran is concerned about women covering their hair and legs with Chador and Hejab so the men will not get an instantaneous combustion of orgasmic climax and wet themselves! Let's spend half of the budget on buying used up Military junk from China and Russia and send the other half to Mullahs' Bank Accounts in Swiss and Caymans, let's see how fast can we Absolutely Screw Up and Deform, Degenerate, and Transform the superior Persian culture in to an Islamic Shiite hole?

The Degeneration of a Nation, how fast and how long does it take? Is 29 years enough to Destroy a Nation?! Or do we need to give Mullahs more time?!

In today's Iran, people await for Imam Khamenei to observe with his telescope, and figure out the exact time when the Moon is aligned with Bull Crap (Qamar dar Aqrab) and astrologically correct to release the exact time for Eid Fetr (Eid ul Fitr) celebrations during Ramadan and Muharram! Every day people look up on their Marja' Taqlid (Supreme Spiritual Leader), Imam Khamenei to declare the exact time for the Eid, so they can celebrate!

In the west, people are in to technology, but in Iran our people are in to astrology, superstition and religious garbage!

What have I told you?

Islamic Republic of Iran is the government of Hamals (Porters) and Ramals (Fortune Tellers)! Hamal like Ahmadinejad and Ramal like Khamenei! Yes my friends, the government of Hamals and Ramals for the Morons!

This is today's Iran, thanks to Glory of Islam!

Welcome to Islam, religion of Bull Shiite by the Bulls (Imams) for the Shiite!

Dr. X

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